Pepper Your Angus [FULL]

It was about... three thirty in the morning, on the 7th of February, 2012...
Something strange happened that day... something scary, I don't even know what happened myself.
I awoke to the sudden sound of metal being torn apart in the street, and the unmistakable sound of glass being shattered.
In morbid curiosity, I ran to my window, pulled the curtains apart and peered out.
In the center of the road was a hunk of metal and glass debris, flaming and smoking, and a rubber car wheel was just rolling down the road from it.
I knew immediately that this was a car... as I looked closer at the wreckage, I saw an arm, coated in thick red blood which slid down the mountainous road on which I lived.
The horror of the immediate sight made my eyes dart around like bullets around all corners of visible space past the window frame, and in the shadows, I saw two luminous white eyes and a set of crystal-bright teeth descend in to the darkness, behind a bush.
The eyes were looking at me, for sure.

The next day, I left my home to work, once again catching sight of the hideous pile of scrapped metal once belonging to a car which had unfortunately met it's demise.
I noticed that the body had gone, it was taken by paramedics for a post-mortem examination.
I walked towards my car and unlocked the door, I pulled the door open and sat comfortably inside the vehicle... except, I felt something else on the car seat.
Somehow, I had sat on some large object on the car seat without even seeing it before-hand, I immediately shuffled on to the seat next to me and shot my face towards the position in which I'd sat previously.
There, on the driver's seat was a medium rare steak.
In utter shock, I began to think to myself how the hell this thing had teleported in to my fully-locked car.
I reached over to the hunk of red meat and grasped it with two fat fingers, I lifted it and something caught my eye when I did so.
Underneath the stake was a burnt-in message, written in an evil-looking font... it read "Pepper your angus"
My eyes widened, I began hyperventilating, I immediately unwound the car window and discarded of the steak as fast as I could, I then shuffled back in to the driver's seat of my vehicle and proceeded to drive off.

I was at work, I was late, there was more traffic and a diversion caused by another ruined car on the highway.
I sat down at my brick-hard office chair and began to look through my emails, one was from my father who was for some reason unable to tell the difference between my regular email and my business email...
Then I scrolled down to the very bottom of my emails list to find an endless list of emails from an anonymous user, every single one of the email titles was "Pepper your angus"
This was obviously no coincidence, I knew this at the time and I was even more terrified than before, then I clicked on one of the emails...
There in that single email was a black-and-white photograph of the same steak I had thrown out of my car window above the text "Give your meat a good ol' rub"
In horror, I recoiled, my office chair swung backwards and I was ejected back.
I looked up to my computer screen again and all of a sudden, my computer blue screened.
Suddenly, my boss entered the room, he was unhappy about something, I quickly restored myself, I got to my feet and switched off the computer before the boss could see that it had suffered an error.
Then he walked in, he spoke to me.
"Son, I'm afraid that you're being laid off.", he said in a grumpy old man tone.
"W.. What!? Why the hell am I being laid off?" I replied.
"It's because we can't pay for all our damn workers, alright? so pepper your angus and leave!"
"W.. what?", I was puzzled by what I'd heard.
"I said get out of my damn office!"
Immediately, I screamed back in the bastard's face: "Well you can keep my damn stuff!"
I then ran out of the building and in to my car.

The next day, I awoke late in the morning, I turned on my bedroom television and then the news came on as the default setting.
"Long-time London businessman and entrepreneur David Morrison, boss of the famous computer company 'Angus electronics' was found dead this morning."
My eyes immediately shot open; this was my boss, the same person I was arguing with yesterday.
"His corpse was found stripped entirely of skin, void of eyes and teeth and no genitals, policemen at the scene suggested his penis and testicles had been sawn out with a typical wood saw, the body as hanging from a tree by a single length of rope connected to one leg."
This was the most brutal thing I'd ever heard, and even worse... I could have easily been a suspect, I had an alibi, he'd fired me just the day before after all.
I switched the television off, convinced that someone by now was definately out to get me.
I got out of bed, put on my dressing gown and walked downstairs towards my front door to see if I had any mail.
Indeed I had mail, I should've expected another sick prank after all of these other happenings...
There on the floor in front of my door was a stack of atleast a hundred letters, and all of them were drenched in some thick, yellow oil... I could only assume it was cooking oil.
I grasped one of the letters within the chasm of glue-thick oil and pulled it out of the liquid, I then tore it open and looked at what lay inside...
In large red text on a piece of black card was the sentence "It's time to oil up!"
Only when I looked closer could I tell that the red "ink" used to write the malevolent text was actually... crimson red blood.

Later that day, after the mess had been cleared up and all of the letters had been tossed in to a fire, I had been surprised with how little I was taunted that day by whoever wanted my punishment done.
That was until I heard the sound of a plane of glass exploding, I quickly rushed in to my kitchen and grabbed a licensed Glock 17 pistol from one of my draws, I loaded it and rushed in to my front room where I saw that my front window had been shattered in to billions of pieces.
On the floor, in front of the messed up frame of glass shards was a large, dark human figure, it was wearing a striped purple suit, and over the course of five long seconds, it began to rotate it's head up towards me, clicking it's spine as it did so at an inhuman volume and frequency that I was convinced that the being was alien.
I could see the horrific face peering up at me, that which had tormented me for the past two days.
"What... What the fuck are you!?", I sobbed.
The black beast peered up at me, he opened his mouth to speak.
"My name is Ainsley... Harriott..."
"What do you want from me?"
"I want you to pepper your angus!!", The monster shrieked.
It leapt at me with light-speed and I immediately pulled the trigger, releasing three bullets directly in to it's thick skin.
An ocean of olive oil errupted from the animal's body and it immediately vanished, leaving my front room in a state of disrepair and destruction.
I immediately dialed my phone to the police.
"Hello, what's your emergency?", the man on the other end asked.
"Well, this is gonna sound... crazy," I continued on for what seemed like a day on the foul incident by which I was attacked by that demon.

The police finally arrived an hour later, their car in front of my house, but on the road.
"So, you're trying to tell me that some dark figure emerged out of your front window and proceeded to give you cooking tips?", asked the chief of police in a very doubtful tone.
Only then did I realize quite how insane I sounded, yet I knew exactly what happened and that I was not a maniac.
"Hey, call me crazy if you want, but if you'd prefer to check around the room to see if what I'm saying is true then go ahead!"
The mardy chief let out a sigh, turned around and left the kitchen where we were conversing.
I went to sit down in my moonlit back garden on my wooden bench, then I felt my left coat pocket begin to vibrate.
I placed my hand in to the pocket and retreived my phone, I saw on the screen that the caller ID was my father.
A smile ran across my face, I could now talk to someone comfortably about what the hell had happened, I hadn't thought to call my parents.
I pressed the answer button and immediately threw the phone to the side of my face.
"Dad, hello!?" I excitedly said.
"No", a voice replied.
"Wh.. what.. what's wrong?"
"Your daddy is dead, white boy!"
My jaw immediately dropped, A frown casted across my face and I threw my phone towards the floor.
"Hahahahaha, you can't run from Ainsley", I could still hear the bastard voice of that thing on the other end of the phone from meters away.
Immediately, my phone caught fire, it began to curl inwards and then melt in to a blob of black molten plastic.
I then fell unconscious, I don't remember how or why, and I don't think it was from shock.

Then I woke up the next day, I was sat in a padded room with no apparent door, looking down, I saw that both of my arms were locked together in the sleeves of a straitjacket.
Instantly, I began tossing and turning hysterically.
"Let me out of here you bastards!"
I began smashing my head against the pillow-soft walls of my containment unit to no effect, I just bounced off the wall and fell back.
Then I heard a terrible voice coming seemingly from nowhere.
"You're not in your right mind, We're keeping you isolated until you become sane again.... if you become sane again."
Then the echoing voice decayed in to silence, for hours afterwards I was left with insanity-inducing silence.
I was nearly completely calmed when all of a sudden I heard the sound of some kind of blade slicing through cloth mixed with the sound of flesh peeling, I turned my head to the western wall of the isolation room.
There against the wall I saw a mass of black-grey fluid or residue forming, it enveloped the whole wall, and from the center of this mass, I saw Ainsley's muscular body emerge like a ghost, black flames lightly coated his body.
"Fresh angus", He said.
"I'm not your meal, you evil cunt" I replied in pure anger.
His whole body had emerged now, it began walking around the room, pacing around my incapacitated body on the ground.
"Oh but you are just the pepper of the angus! do you not see? why do you think I stalk you dumb humans?"
Intrigued, I listened in on his motives.
"The flesh of your species, meager in supply as it may be is a delicacy to me; it makes for the purest steak, and without that? I cannot survive."
"But why me!?", I asked in wonder and terror.
"Hahaha, you're not the only one, white boy! Your father's bones are going to be used as pepper, that's why I killed him! and you... I promise will make for the best angus around... now, it is time you oil up!"
Suddenly, a segment of one of the walls came apart from the rest of the wall, revealing that it was a door, three SWAT team members in full gear and M16 rifles at hand flooded the room and began open-firing at the ghostly being which threatened to eat me alive.
Every bullet seemed to go right through it's leathery skin as it slowly inched towards the leader of the squad, neglecting my presence.
The squad leader let out a terrible yell as Harriott penetrated his chest with his blade-like arm in a single fluent jab.
Ainsley lifted his spike-tipped arm with the poor man doughnutted around it and began rotating it at a slow speed, the corpse slowly began to cook as if it was being spitroasted.
"Shishkebab, motherfuckers!" the vile thing roared.
He then impaled another SWAT member on the same arm, at that moment, I immediately leapt to my feet and rushed for the door, outside, I realized that I need to keep it away or it would kill me for sure.
I used my foot to pull the door shut from the outside and as it closed, the last SWAT member leapt to the window, banging on it at full strength with both fists, yelling.
"Please! let me the fuck out of here! it's gonna-"
Then suddenly, crimson coated the window from the inside and the shishkebab-like arm had penetrated the door fully, on the end was the unfortunate man's still-beating heart, blood leaked from the opening of the door from which the arm had penetrated.
I rushed down corridor after corridor, just hearing various peoples' screams and then the sound of some liquid tapping the cold floors moments afterwards.
At the exit, I glanced about searching for some help, I was able to run out freely with some other patients as all of the guards were being massacred during their attempts to save the others.
Out of nowhere, my mother's car drove alongside the road, the window wound down fully and she yelled "Get in!" at the top of her voice.
My mother opened the car door for me herself since my arms were still bound, and as I entered to sit down, she bought a sharp, gleaming blade down the center of the sleeves, freeing my arms.
We then drove away as the mental hospital caught fire.

Later that day at my mother's house, my mother called me in to the front room, she was sat with a large leather-skin book at hand.
I entered the room, wondering what on earth she could possibly ask at this time.
"Sit here, next to mum" she said calmly.
I took a place on the sofa aside her where she sat and she began to speak again.
"I've done some searching on this Ainsley Harriott character and well, I think I may have found something, something that may just stop him!"
I felt relieved, but doubtful that anything could stop the thing.
"It is said in the Cookbook of the Dead that Ainsley Harriott is a malevolent demon which seeks to find methods of utilizing humans for cooking purposes, ever since the dawn of humanity, Ainsley has been planning on a sacred plot to harvest the entire human race for his Angus needs."
Out of sudden realization, shock hit me... Of course, I am the first ingredient of the divine angus, that's why he came after me first... but what makes me sacred?
"I should know this anyway, because... I'm the one who birthed that foul abomination of culinary occupation."
"Wh..What?" I asked in fear.
"I gave birth to Ainsley Harriott, son."
I understand now why Ainsley wanted me so much; I'm his brother, and he is pure, that is why I am pure... that is why I am the first!
Then it struck me even harder, I needed to check my family records, there must be some other divine being who can hold Ainsley back, so I ran upstairs to the loft where we keep all of the old, unused property.
After hours of searching, I stumble upon a dust-coated folder entitled "Family Hierarchy", I opened it and swept aside the cobwebs riddling it, then I took out a large piece of paper with an even larger heirarchy of family member names, I read to the bottom where it said "Anita Harriott > Ainsley Harriott"
I wasn't sure if I was missing something... because I'd realized, if I and Ainsley are from the same mother, why am I not under my mother's name on this sheet.
"What the hell?" I asked, puzzled.
"So, now you know about it all then..." my mother said, sounding depressed and disappointed.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.
"How heart shattering do you think it is to tell your child that he is adopted?"
I stood up from my ducking position, then out of the corner of my eye, I saw the same black residue from the asylum form on the wall of the loft, in came Ainsley for the last time.
"Finally, no escape, I will finally have the divine recipe in it's entirety, completed! hahahahaha!" the creature roared.
"No!" I shouted, confusing Ainsley.
"You want me because I'm divine, because I'm the closest relative to you? well fuck you! I'm not related to you genetically, I was adopted!"
It was at that moment I saw Ainsley's face change character quite drastically, from malevolent happiness to a confused sadness.
"What are you saying!?" yelled Ainsley.
"I'm saying that the closest living relative to you is your mother; my foster mother."
I immediately flashed the family heirarchy sheet in front of Ainsley's face, his eyes scanned the page to the very bottom.
"I... I don't... understand, this would mean that the divine angus which I have planned to create for so long is for nothing... you were going to be the purest ingredient!"
Ainsley's face became even more confused.
Then mother began to speak.
"That means that I am the purest ingredient, son... if you are going to take anybody, you are only going to take me and I will ensure that."
My own face changed to a worried expression, I stared my false mother deep in to her blue eyes and there we made a connection we'd never made before, one of motherly love.
Mother smiled back at me in a neutral tone.
"Well, I guess this is it then..."
Ainsley's black-burning body then extinguished in to one of a plain human body as he seemed to drift in to the real world for the first time, with one swift downwards motion, Ainsley threw his arm down, opening a white rift in space exactly where his finger had traced.
"Goodbye, mother" I said for the last time.
"I'm sorry it's come to this, mum" said Ainsley for the last time before walking with mother in to the luminous portal, it then zipped shut.

I never saw from Ainsley again, and I know what happened to my mother, she was used as the divine ingredient and it will always be that way.
But I will never look at Ainsley Harriott's face on the television the same way... ever again.