2015 makin' a splash

You. You right now, reading this -- yea you -- are incredible. Just by fact alone that you're here at this pastebin tells me you are at least somewhat interested in speedrunning, me, the combination of, or something similar. You have my undying gratitude.

An update on some things... this gets pretty personal. Do feel free to skip the next couple paragraphs, until the double line-break.

A lot of people like to stream after a marathon event -- daily, or as often as they can, it seems. Could be a variety of reasons: new followers gained from a run they did, the fact that an entire week or more went by without a chance to stream on their own channel, a newfound sense of inspiration, anything really. Speedrunning kinda tends to boom after a GDQ, so even people that didn't attend seem to do the same. Whatever the case is, seeing my following page literally bursting at the seam is not uncommon for at least a couple weeks.

I however am unable to stream for at the very least 24 hours (writing this the night of the 12th). I am afraid it will be a lot longer, though. Here's some of what's going on...

My room is EMPTY. All of my belongings are placed somewhere else in the house right now. So my computer, TV, and games aren't set up. My mom had the carpeting in my room removed in place of tile while I was gone. She is now having the walls repainted, which won't get done until tomorrow. I will not be situated back in my room for at least another day, that's on top of the day I've already been back from AGDQ. Soo, still feels like I haven't returned home yet... rip room. :/7

My step-dad is dying... He has battled cancer for a number of years now, but it just isn't getting any better. He is very very ill, and the doctor says he may only have a year or two left if he's lucky. My sister is coming home from Japan, breaking her work contract, on a family/medical -related leave to be here; if she had stayed the full time, she'd have risked never seeing him again. We're all trying to stay strong, but we know, odds are, he is not going to be around much longer. I just don't know what all will be going on with my family and home-situation and stuff for a while....

Also I am being hit with a realization. I have a job. I got this job in early December, but it was a very slow start. I only did 20  hours of training over like 3 weeks, which on its own felt a little tiresome. But things are changing now:
[ http://i.imgur.com/Jujbava.png ] (Ok, that's 39, oops.) That's a large amount of time I'm not used to giving up. I better develop some good time management pretty quick here or else yeah. 'Nother reason I'd have difficulty streaming...

In addition, I don't even know if I /want/ to stream. Been thinking seriously about just doing offline/YT-upload speedruns... Part of it is I feel I am so incredibly introverted that I just want to sit alone in the fetal position and not talk to anyone for a good week after big social gatherings such as GDQs...lol, sad but yeah. We all come back down to earth ("recharge") in our different ways. It takes a lot out of me to try and be pleasant among crowds of people.

What this all boils down to is, whether I want to be active in the scene right now or not, I sorta can't. But hey. Best case scenario is I go back to my couple-times-a-week schedule very soon and feel really fucken silly for ever writing this. Worst case, you don't see my channel live for a month or so. Only time will tell. Just kinda felt like spilling some of my guts here in a DramaBin.


That does lead me to the next topic of interest. Emotes. I still feel like 1) I have NO idea what I want to do and 2) I have left some pretty unhappy people at some of my recent decisions when I tried to change some stuff.

So I've made some polls. These polls are open to the public, even non-subscribers, even people who wouldn't subscribe in a million years. Feel free to get your opinion in. I have other polls that I'm only giving to subscribers, so that I can compare them, and have controlled data, and what not.

Sub emotes:
http://strawpoll.me/3396621
FrankerFaceZ emotes:
http://strawpoll.me/3396659

Thanks for voting. I probably try way too hard to please people, seriously stress over this stuff, I ain't Wit "god of emotes" Wix but I somehow have a sub button so I'd like to make people happy. Managing FFZs is a thing too. However! do keep in mind these polls are not necessarily going to determine anything. There's a chance nothing at all will even change.


Well, I am tired. And it takes me way too long to write stuff like this so I spent a large portion of my day doing so. Wish me luck I guess? Some tough times ahead but it will all pan out fine I'm sure.

A sincere thank you for reading.
~> saboom