TF2 Brostitution Chat Script

// ------------------------------
// Borstitution Spam Script
// @Author Ssla Cyhadals
// @Identifier brost
// @Genhelp false
// ------------------------------
// NOTICE: This script does not work when the 'wait' command is disabled by the server!

// Key to send the next line of the Brostitution
bind KP_END brost_chat

// Messages can also be sent through this alias, although this alias is used
// to avoid issues with binding commands to keys
alias brost_chat brost_l1

// Lines to send to chat
alias brost_l1 "say 1) You must always have your bro’s back. No exceptions.; alias brost_chat brost_l2"
alias brost_l2 "say 2) When your bro’s girlfriend inquires about his whereabouts you know nothing, always.; alias brost_chat brost_l3"
alias brost_l3 "say 3) You are only obligated to wingman for one bro per social event. After that, the bro is on his own.; alias brost_chat brost_l4"
alias brost_l4 "say 4) When a bro designates you as his wingman, you may not fail him. This is the most important role a bro may play for a bro.; wait 200; say It is not be violated or debauched.; alias brost_chat brost_l5"
alias brost_l5 "say 5) You must always do whatever is in your power to stop a bro from soiling himself with a poor looking girl—unless; wait 200; say the bro is able to stand up, look you in the eye, and articulate that he is to a decent extent sober.; wait 200; say Then you are absolved of any responsibility.; alias brost_chat brost_l6"
alias brost_l6 "say 6) When a bro pays for all the alcohol for an occasion himself, this must be made known to all present and made out to be the; wait 200; say greatest feat ever observed in human history. A bro may skip out on kicking in for beer if he has done this recently.; alias brost_chat brost_l7"
alias brost_l7 "say 7) A bro must always respect another bro’s car, house, and parents.; alias brost_chat brost_l8"
alias brost_l8 "say 8) Love thy father and mother. A bro will never ever get with a bro’s biological mother or sister.; wait 200; say Stepsisters and stepmothers are fair game. This article is subject to the All's Fair Clause.; alias brost_chat brost_l9"
alias brost_l9 "say 9) When a bro is showing his bro’s his new ride, he is always required to open the hood and showcase the contents.; wait 200; say All bros present are required to admire the content, even and especially if they know nothing about cars.; alias brost_chat brost_l10"
alias brost_l10 "say 10) When a bro asks a bro what he thinks of his girlfriend or date, a bro is always required to give an honest answer.; wait 200; say The phrase, “I’d bang her” is off limits.; alias brost_chat brost_l11"
alias brost_l11 "say 11) A bro will never ever leave his bros without a ride. A bro must never be allowed to walk alone more than 2 blocks.; alias brost_chat brost_l12"
alias brost_l12 "say 12) A bro will never ask for gas money for a ride unless he truly is hard up, or the ride exceeds a distance of 20 miles.; alias brost_chat brost_l13"
alias brost_l13 "say 13) When gas money for a ride is offered, it may be accepted. Use your own bro-judgment to determine if you should accept.; alias brost_chat brost_l14"
alias brost_l14 "say 14) A bro shall never make another bro ashamed for hooking up with a girl.; wait 200; say Even if she was truly nasty, a bro will make excuses for his bro. Example, “you were drunk so…”; alias brost_chat brost_l15"
alias brost_l15 "say 15) If a bro is terrible at sports, excuses may be made, no matter how bad they are. Good bros will start to play worse so that; wait 200; say their bro doesn’t look so bad. This clause is subject to nullification by extreme competition.; alias brost_chat brost_l16"
alias brost_l16 "say 16) A bro will never make another bro look bad in front of a target girl. Any such attempts should be swiftly punished by the; wait 200; say designated wingman. Afterwards, the bro who infringed upon this rule may be confronted by the whole circle of bros.; alias brost_chat brost_l17"
alias brost_l17 "say 17) A bro will always ask around before taking the last of anything. If a bro should ask you if its alright,; wait 200; say unless the need is great or direct ownership is applied, you will let him have it.; wait 200; say Common courtesy and the bro code go hand in hand.; alias brost_chat brost_l18"
alias brost_l18 "say 18) A chick may be included in the bro code if she has proven herself worthy via general bro concession.; alias brost_chat brost_l19"
alias brost_l19 "say 19) A chick may never be informed of the sacred rules of the bro code. A chick may be treated as a bro but never told of; wait 200; say the rules. When reprimanding a girl for an infringement of the bro code, say “its just common courtesy.”; alias brost_chat brost_l20"
alias brost_l20 "say 20) A bro will never let another bro drive drunk. Space must always be found or made for a drunk bro who needs to leave.; wait 200; say If necessary, the theft of phone and keys shall be done for his own good.; alias brost_chat brost_l21"
alias brost_l21 "say 21) A bro will never allow another bro to drunk dial or txt a girl. No exceptions to this rule.; wait 200; say When a bro is truly smashed and his girl calls, the phone will be confiscated until a sober state of mind is achieved.; alias brost_chat brost_l22"
alias brost_l22 "say 22) If a bro’s girlfriend calls you and asks about a bros actions the previous night,; wait 200; say (I.e. the bro claimed to be sleeping at a friend’s house) you will always claim that yes he was there and you may even claim; wait 200; say he is still there. Studies show that 8 out of 10 bros will do this without thinking. The other 2 bros; wait 200; say claimed he was still with them but unavailable to talk.; alias brost_chat brost_l23"
alias brost_l23 "say 23) You will always make excuses for a bros actions, no matter how obscene.; wait 200; say All things done by a drunk bro must be forgiven. No exceptions.; alias brost_chat brost_l24"
alias brost_l24 "say 24) A bro should always be allowed to make amends for his actions.; alias brost_chat brost_l25"
alias brost_l25 "say 25) A bro will always give his bro’s girl a ride to wherever, so long as restitutions are made for the action.; alias brost_chat brost_l26"
alias brost_l26 "say 26) A bro will never give detail when describing a sexual encounter.; wait 200; say Doing so will force your bro to imagine you naked and this is unforgivable.; alias brost_chat brost_l27"
alias brost_l27 "say 27) A bro will always do his best to help another bro’s self esteem. The Alpha-Bro should always be handing out the wisdom; wait 200; say and power of his skill. A bro will always recognize the master seducer of the group.; alias brost_chat brost_l28"
alias brost_l28 "say 28) A bro should never ever under any circumstances sleep with a bro’s ex-girlfriend.; wait 200; say A bro may proceed to make moves on another bro’s failed target (he got rejected) but only after asking permission first.; wait 200; say If the bro declines your invitation to bust some moves, you must adhere to his wishes and find a new target.; alias brost_chat brost_l29"
alias brost_l29 "say 29) If permission for rule 28 has been given by a bro, and success is evident for yourself.; wait 200; say One must always put it down to it being the girl’s preference and not due to your superior abilities.; wait 200; say If a bro proceeds to become butt-hurt about your success where he failed, you are under no obligations; wait 200; say to make him feel better or apologize for your success.; alias brost_chat brost_l30"
alias brost_l30 "say 30) A bro will always take care of a bro who is blacked out, throwing up, and incase parents or girlfriend call.; wait 20; say If a bro’s parents demand he comes home immediately, one will immediately allow him to use a shower and; wait 200; say whatever else is necessary to make sure a bro receives no enemy fire on the home front.; alias brost_chat brost_l31"
alias brost_l31 "say 31) A bro will always tell a bro what he did when he was blacked out. No matter how bad.; alias brost_chat brost_l32"
alias brost_l32 "say 32) A bro must always maintain a safe physical distance from a bro’s girl, especially when drinking.; wait 200; say Physical contact may only be made with a bro’s girl, when saying good bye. No exceptions.; alias brost_chat brost_l33"
alias brost_l33 "say 33) A bro will always do his best to stop a bro from getting tattoos.; wait 200; say A bro’s skin is the largest organ he has and the second most important. Especially if the tattoo is of a girl.; wait 200; say Chicks will dump you and play with your heart, but a bro will protect you like his own private parts.; alias brost_chat brost_l34"
alias brost_l34 "say 34) When a promise is made, it shall be kept. And under no circumstances shall it be broken.; alias brost_chat brost_l35"
alias brost_l35 "say 35) The way of the bro is sacred, cherish it like a sect or cult. The bro life is like being in Jedi training camp.; wait 200; say You must always show your bro love and be joyous when bro love is shown to you.; alias brost_chat brost_l36"
alias brost_l36 "say 36) Bro-mance is allowed but only among your tightest bros. Never take your bro-mance too far.; wait 200; say If anyone should remark negatively upon your bro-mance, an immediate beat down should ensue.; wait 200; say Should a girl comment negatively upon the bro-mance, kindly explain to her that she will never know love from a man such as you; wait 200; say and your bros share. Let her know what a privilege it is to be a mere witness to your glory.; alias brost_chat brost_l37"
alias brost_l37 "say 37) The fist bump is a bro’s greatest weapon aside from the bro code itself.; wait 200; say It should be used to show support, acceptance, pride, and it is an all around green light for an action that was committed.; wait 200; say Use the fist bump often, and show constant appreciation for your bro’s jokes and skills with it.; alias brost_chat brost_l38"
alias brost_l38 "say 38) Corollary to rule 37, the denial of a bro’s fist bump is a terribly powerful slap in the face.; wait 200; say To deny a fist bump is no light thing, and should only be done when there is very great disapproval of an action.; alias brost_chat brost_l39"
alias brost_l39 "say 39) Never refer to a bro by his last name, this is a sign of disrespect.; wait 200; say Always refer to a bro by their name, nickname, or any standard bro word.; alias brost_chat brost_l40"
alias brost_l40 "say 40) Standard bro names include but are not limited to: bro, dude, man, and anything with bro in it. (example: broham.); alias brost_chat brost_l41"
alias brost_l41 "say 41) Always respect a bro’s viewpoints about anything from politics to cars to religion.; wait 200; say The only time a bro’s views do not matter is when they conflict with the bro code. If such a case should happen,; wait 200; say the bro should be immediately evicted from the bro circle, until correctional actions have been made.; alias brost_chat brost_l42"
alias brost_l42 "say 42) A bro should always treat for food when a bro is broke. Signs that a bro is broke are phrases like,; wait 200; say “I’d rather eat at home”, “I’m not hungry”, “I just ate”,; wait 200; say and finally “I’m trying to save money so ill eat at home.”; alias brost_chat brost_l43"
alias brost_l43 "say 43) Similar to rule 42, when discussing the purchase of party beverages, if a bro declines to offer money,; wait 200; say the other bros should cover for him. No bro should be denied thirst quenching goodness; wait 200; say just because it’s a tight week or month.; alias brost_chat brost_l44"
alias brost_l44 "say 44) A good bro will always encourage his bros to be an Alpha-Bro when it comes to talking to girls.; wait 200; say If necessary demonstrations of your prowess may be made to give your bros something to work with.; alias brost_chat brost_l45"
alias brost_l45 "say 45) A bro is only allowed to do really stupid things when he is really drunk.; wait 200; say A bro may be denied further access to alcohol when it is obvious he has drunk too much already.; alias brost_chat brost_l46"
alias brost_l46 "say 46) All things must be forgiven among bros, with the exception being your drunk bro feels up your girlfriend.; wait 200; say This allows for an immediate punch to the face, but only after all other bros have been told and are gathered to watch; wait 200; say the punishment. Before the blow is delivered, your drunk bro must have the situation explained to him.; wait 200; say Because he is drunk, he will probably agree that he needs to be punched.; alias brost_chat brost_l47"
alias brost_l47 "say 47) Under no circumstances should a bro ever be hit in the genitals for any reason. Ever.; alias brost_chat brost_l48"
alias brost_l48 "say 48) You should only ever make fun of a bro for minor things that don’t affect their physical attributes.; alias brost_chat brost_l49"
alias brost_l49 "say 49) The only time that cockblocking is condoned by the bro code is when the; wait 200; say designated cockblocker (aka the bombardier) has viable reasons to stop a bro from hooking up with a girl.; alias brost_chat brost_l50"
alias brost_l50 "say 50) The Golden bro rule that everyone knows: Bros over hoes. This rule may be seasoned to taste by the bros themselves.; wait 200; say Example: Bros over hoes except at the close.; alias brost_chat brost_l1"