Salman Corbette 1091

    The brilliance and majesty of this SCP explained:

    The Keter classification:

    This is a motherfucking door that's gotta be on a house, son. You know that locked box test? Fuck that shit. You can't contain the motherfucker in box. And what if some dumbass opens it and walks in? You got a containment breach. What if it ate the queen, or Dan Akroyd, or former UN Secretary General Koffi Anan? They all have large houses. This door's one sly mofo.

    The Special Containment Procedures:

    Let's face it, man, everyone at the Foundation's a dumbass. We need 10 guys just to make sure none of them open the doors. They gotta exit through a dumbwaiter or some shit, cause this door's got the house on LOCK DOWN. It's INSIDIOUS, bitch.

    The teleportation:

    This door's a fucking master of disguise. How else would this mofo DISCREETLY attach to a house. I bet it wears a fucking moustache, that's how I roll when I'm discreet.

    Its constant feeding:

    This door's so hardcore it needs to be noursihed by stuff made by SCP-175. That's right, THIS SCP EATS FUCKING TREASURE MAP SHIT OR SOMETHING. I don't even know how it does that, it's just THAT HARDCORE. Better give this motherfucker some respect.

    The Emergency Trapdoors:

    These trapdoors obviously release a bunch of treasure shit to keep this BEAST satiated. I mean, shit, how the fuck else would they keep it there. Motherfucker TRANSPORTS.

    The Addendum:

    This motherfucker don't even need a brain, he's as dumb as a doornail. Like, shit, he wouldn't even get that pun, because FUCK THAT SHIT. You don't need a brain when your stomach's big enough to be a fucking DIMENSION. This door gets some respect.

    -Salman 'muthafuckin' Corbette-
    (http://i.imgur.com/fUR3j.gif)

    **Commenting on**

    Item: SCP-1091

    Object Class: Keter

    Special Containment Procedures: Large house with 10 personnel.

    Description: SCP-1091 is a unique symbiotic organism that resembles a typical door. An insidious teleporter, SCP-1091 will discreetly attach itself to a large house, then slowly assimilate all of the house's doors. When the house's doors are finally under SCP-1091's control, it will wait until the unsuspecting occupant tries to walk through a door. Instead of finding himself/herself in the next room, they will be in a pocket dimension that is mostly likely SCP-1091's stomach. What happens to the 'swallowed' victim is unverified.

    SCP-1091 was found near a Kentucky farm 4 years ago. It was only after two weeks of tracking it down that the SCP was able to trick it into attaching itself onto a condemned derelict building. The building was then transported over to [information redacted] where it is fed clones created by SCP-175.

    Should a breach in containment occur, emergency ceiling trapdoors must be activated.

    Addendum: Contrary to earlier opinions, it seems SCP-1091 has no sentience or intelligent functions. It simply performs as it's desires urge it so.


Also, this.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ZkyzQbS5pn