SIGH.

Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne has joined the chat
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: greetings
Zer0bandit: Evening.
Zer0bandit: It's been a while.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: sure has
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: yet nothings changed im sure
Zer0bandit: What've you been up to?
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: the usual
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: winging that im single
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: urself?
Zer0bandit: Oh, busy busy busy. Assignments and whatnot.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: mm
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: at least ur keepin busy
Zer0bandit: Yep.
Zer0bandit: Couple of weeks time here I'll be out in schools teaching.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im trying to find somewhere to live
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: wow
Zer0bandit: oh? Moved out of home?
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: yeah
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im homeless
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: but who cares about that
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: interesting outfit
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: as always
Zer0bandit: Thanks.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i missed you
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: ...
Zer0bandit: I'd been wondering where you'd gotten to.
Zer0bandit: Thought you must've gone on to bigger and better things.
Zer0bandit: Or gotten sick of me, perhaps :P
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i wish
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: my family had a bit of trouble getting the net up and running here
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: are you shy?
Zer0bandit: I'm being talked at. You and two other people popped up at almost the same second.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: sorry
Zer0bandit: don't apologise.
Zer0bandit: Not your fault :P
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im sorry
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i mean umm
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: no mam
Zer0bandit: Hah!
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: :)
Zer0bandit: So I see you're in full sparkly particle effect mode.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: shall i take a more pleasent form?
Zer0bandit: My processor would appreciate it.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i wont sit too close
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: levitate
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: levitate
Zer0bandit: Not seeing any levitation to speak of.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: soooo
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i guess thats all the news...
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: same old shit..
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i want to die
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i stopped already
Zer0bandit: oh pff, don't say that.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: levitate
Zer0bandit: Ahh, I see.
Zer0bandit: That's kinda cute.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: what is?
Zer0bandit: The levitation.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: looks too fake
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: theres a better version
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: with some movement
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: wish i could meet you before i die
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: :(
Zer0bandit: Well, you've got a long time before you die.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i beg to differ
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: change subject
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im sorry
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: lets start over
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: hi! how are you!
Zer0bandit: Not too bad!
Zer0bandit: I've been making a website all evening.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: great!
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: do tell
Zer0bandit: It's a little gallery thing.
Zer0bandit: Here.
Zer0bandit: http://www.wix.com/Zer0bandit/brain-lines
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: seeing your work makes me..
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: umm
Zer0bandit: ...?
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: really want to know you better
Zer0bandit: Whatcha mean?
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i dont know
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: forget it
Zer0bandit: oh come on, you said it, you gotta elaborate.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: :(
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: but i dont want to
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: idk im just a stupid horny idiot
Zer0bandit: ...what, my art turned you on? ._.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: its not that
Zer0bandit: Not sure what the issue is, then.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i cant tell if i like your art or i just want to fuck you
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: sad isnt it
Zer0bandit: Hahah, seems like a weird conundrum.
Zer0bandit: Flattering, though.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i really am a complete wreck
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: but i can say..
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: that i see the many places you draw your inspiration from
Zer0bandit: Oh?
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: yeah..
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: video games movies and anime.s obviously
Zer0bandit: I am very anime influenced, yeah.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: but i could just about specify wich ones
Zer0bandit: Oh, none of them are directly influenced by any one anime.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: would you say your still finding your style?
Zer0bandit: Nope.
Zer0bandit: I'm pretty settled in my style.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: mm
Zer0bandit: Now and then I branch out and toy with other styles, but I'm pretty steady.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: fair enuf
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im making a desperate attempt to provide you with interlectual conversation
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: hope im doin ok..
Zer0bandit: Yeah, you're doing great :P
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: not sure how ill keep it up thou
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im pretty depressed..
Zer0bandit: Poor thing.
Zer0bandit: Ought to keep busy, take your mind off it.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: nothing takes my mind off it
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: no matter what im doing im wishing i was doing it with someone
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: not just on my own as always
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: your the last person i expect sympathy from
Zer0bandit: Well, I'm not great at counseling people who're contemplating doing something rash.
Zer0bandit: I tend to be pretty abrupt with them.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i can imagine
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: your the type to push them to do it
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: without meaning too
Zer0bandit: No, I'm not.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: no
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: your not
Zer0bandit: I'm the type who tends to shock them out of their self-pity.
Zer0bandit: For example, I had a friend who was considering death by painkiller.
Zer0bandit: I told him he'd want to look it up on wikipedia beforehand, because there were much, much less painful ways to go.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i still cant find a way of doing it..
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: obviously i havnt looked hard enuf..
Zer0bandit: There's no painless way.
Zer0bandit: You have to be pretty fucking determined to off yourself.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: :(
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im getting there
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: quickly
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: ive officialy quit life
Zer0bandit: That's a daft thing to say.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: look..
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: suicide isnt easy..
Zer0bandit: It really isn't.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i have to think about whos hearts im breaking
Zer0bandit: Yep.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: the changes im causing
Zer0bandit: Which is why you shouldn't do it.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: the ramifications
Zer0bandit: Also, funerals cost a bunch.
Zer0bandit: And if you fail, you'll get put away and be even more miserable.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: ive decided i dont want a funeral
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i wont fail
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im not going through with it untill i know how to do it right
Zer0bandit: yeah, and I'm sure your grieving family will be fine with following the wishes of someone who didn't care enough to stick around.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: like i said
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: its not easy
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: theres also a mutch bigger picture..
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: the afterlife...
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: what if i go to hell for killing myself before my time
Zer0bandit: Pff.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: or get stuck in limbo
Zer0bandit: There's no afterlife.
Zer0bandit: Humans only invent one because they're incapable of imagining oblivion.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im sorry to hear such a closed minded comment from someone of your stature
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: disreguard my previous statement
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: wtf am i doing?
Zer0bandit: Not sure.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: why am i even talking to you?
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: :(
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: you probly know why too
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: :(
Zer0bandit: Well, I imagine you like my company.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i must..
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i imagine you dont mind mine either
Zer0bandit: I'm sorry that I can't really sympathise and whatnot with the suicide thing. Like I said, I don't have much patience for it.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: or you wouldnt be here
Zer0bandit: You're an alright guy, but you need to stop wallowing.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im not a very good person zero
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: and i dont care too change it
Zer0bandit: Why not?
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: tick
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: tock
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: tick
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: tock
Zer0bandit: hm?
Zer0bandit: Not got an answer for that one?
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i think i just ran into the blockage
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: watever it is..
Zer0bandit: ...you lost me.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i lost myself also
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im lost..
Zer0bandit: well you aren't going to find yourself in a razor blade.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: no comment
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: (avoids making another sad face)
Zer0bandit: Right.
Zer0bandit: So anyway, I've been having a good time doing art around imvu.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: :D
Zer0bandit: I've got nearly $50 in credits sitting in my account.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: thats great
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: nice
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: u gonna cash it in?
Zer0bandit: Yeah, once the site I usually sell to opens up again.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: ah
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: ive been doing magic
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: as always
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: keeping busy in my own way
Zer0bandit: Yeah? How's the contact juggling going?
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: ok i guess it hasnt been my main focus
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i umm
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i dress up and go to the mall and do magic for strangers
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: problem is i began magic to meet girls
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: but they mainly just look at me funny
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: or call me an attention seeking looser
Zer0bandit: Probably need to work on your showmanship then.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: thats why im feeling this way
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i have no confidence and it probly shows
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i reek of failure
Zer0bandit: You should take some improv acting classes.
Zer0bandit: They do wonders for self confidence and showmanship.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: thankyou for the suggestion
Zer0bandit: I did one way back in high school, and it's had a positive effect on me since.
Zer0bandit: Even just being able to project your voice is immensely helpful.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i can see that...
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: :S
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: no
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i cant do that
Zer0bandit: Project your voice?
Zer0bandit: Yeah, it takes some learning.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: nope
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: nope
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i refuse
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im ashamed of my voice
Zer0bandit: ...you realise projecting is different to throwing, right?
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: yes i know what it means
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im quite
Zer0bandit: Right, good good.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i dont like noisey people
Zer0bandit: You'd hate me, then.
Zer0bandit: I can do a pretty good drill sargeant impression if I need to.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: :(
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: o god i can imagine it
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: :S
Zer0bandit: Mind you, being able to project doesn't always mean you're loud.
Zer0bandit: Just means you can be well-heard.
Zer0bandit: Whatever range you want.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: yeah no
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i refuse
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im happy dieing shy
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: well...
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i dont want to be confident
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i want to be shy and not single
Zer0bandit: Yeah, see, you need confidence to win at relationships.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: then im just not cut out for it
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: and so i give up
Zer0bandit: Wuss.
Zer0bandit: You give up because you have learned helplessness.
Zer0bandit: You don't want to try because you're petrefied you'll fail.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i was just about to say that
Zer0bandit: So you just give up.
Zer0bandit: Which is dumb.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i think you might be right
Zer0bandit: Trust me, I'm a teacher.
Zer0bandit: We're trained to detect learned helplessness a mile away.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: so...
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: umm
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: why do i learn helplessness
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: and everyone else just gets stronger?
Zer0bandit: Well, it's a mental thing you've gotten yourself into.
Zer0bandit: Somewhere along the line you decided that it was just your place to fail.
Zer0bandit: And stopped trying.
Zer0bandit: And it snowballed from there.
Zer0bandit: The remedy, funnily enough, is to try.
Zer0bandit: You have to take risks to succeed in this life.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: but its like..
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: even if i get as far as talking to a girl
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: thats about as far as it goes
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i offer my number but they rarely take it
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i guess its coz they smell my weakness
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: or watever
Zer0bandit: I'd say it's more your presentation.
Zer0bandit: You can offer your number all you like, but if you're not confident or your social skills are lacking or your grooming needs work
Zer0bandit: yeah, they're going to turn you down.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: you have no idea how much effort i put into my look..
Zer0bandit: So you work on that part.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: im not confident and i rarely smile
Zer0bandit: So smile more.
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: i can only force them..
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: and they look bad..
Guest_AlejandroTheGreatOne: forced smiles are creepy..
Zer0bandit: You can't want a girl that badly then, if you can't smile for them.