Misfits, Part IV: Some Like It Hot

“Buster, put that out. You know I hate waking up to the smell of you smoking.” Cathy mumbled as she rubbed her eyes and began to stretch. They'd been journeying for some days now, and were now making their way through sheer forest, off any roads.
“Whuh?” Came the sleepy reply from Buster. Cathy blinked the sleep out of her eyes and looked over to Buster, still on his bedroll, mostly asleep.
“If you're not smoking- Can the rest of you smell that?”
“Negative. I am without a nose.”
“Fiemrminutes.”
Cathy snapped to her feet and starting packing away her things. “I think there's a fire. We should be ready to move.” While her other organic companions sluggishly started getting up, she slung her entire, fully stored pack over her shoulders. “I'm serious, we-” She was cut off by a very loud and definitely insane cackle.
“That's not good.” Buster observed, casually shouldering his stuffed pack and almost lighting up a roll-up before a cutting glare from Cathy made him stop.
“Affirmative.” With precise movements Sickle packed up Tangerine's things and then lifted Tangerine up onto its shoulders.
A second cackle sounded and was followed by a “fwoomf”, which is precisely the sound made when a giant ring of fire sets alight to a forest.
“We need to get out of here.” Cathy pointed, “Towards the mountain, if we can get above the vegetation we'll be fine.”
“Affirmative. I will protect the Mistress.” Sickle removed Tangerine from its shoulders and bundled her into its chest.
“Wait but what about Cathy and Buster?”
“Your protection takes priority. We must go.” Sickle moved with speed into the trees and was removed from sight by a wide pillar of flame striking the earth between it and the camp.
“Well this seems like it's just a perfectly natural bushfire to me.” A fireball the size of a shed arced over their heads and set the trees behind them ablaze, “Nothing to worry about.”
“Buster now isn't the time! We need to find a way out of this!” Cathy looked around as the all the trees around their camp began catching fire, and more and more fire began bombarding the forest around them.
“Come here.” He held out his arms.
“Buster!”
“I'm not trying to cop a bloody feel, I'm going to get us out of here! Christ, have a bit of faith, would you?” Reluctantly, Cathy moved towards him and he took her rapidly into a fireman's carry.
“Happy up there?”
“Not at all!”
“Well I don't imagine that's going to improve in the next few seconds. Hold on tight.” She obliged, and he hopped into the air.
“What was that?” She asked with disbelief as fire continued raining from the sky.
“Hang on, I'm not used to doing it while lifting somebody else.” He hopped again, only this time immediately afterwards the ground underneath him exploded, sending him rocketing into the sky.
The landing was harsh and very much resembled a crash. Cathy fell from Buster's grasp and rolled onto her side.
“What was that?!” She demanded.
“Rocket jump. Usually goes better but I didn't know how to account for the extra weight.”
“I beg your pardon!”
“Your armour, love.” He cut her a glance, “And as you said, now's not the time.”
“Well let's never do that again.” She said as she got to her feet and looked around. This area was less on fire, but their flight had apparently not escaped the notice of whoever was co-ordinating it.
“Can't be much farther now, let's get a move on.”
“Miss Cathy, was that you and Buster we saw shooting up and then back down again?” Asked Tangerine in Cathy's head.
“Yes.”
“Cool. Miss Sickle and me are safe up on the rocky bit. There's a path up here we think goes to the top. Look out on your right!”
Cathy looked to her right just as a fireball struck the tree to their left.
“Left. I meant to say left.” There was a pause, “Miss Sickle says to stay low and move fast.”
“Tangerine can see us.” Cathy relayed, “She's safe, we have to stay low and keep moving.”
“Really? I was going to make some things explode, really make sure he gets a good look at where I am, you know?” Buster was clearly making the run more difficult for himself by snarking at length like that.
“You might well have.” Cathy retorted with fire.
The two pressed on through the inferno as flaming branches began falling around them. Buster coughed and wheezed in the smoke.
“Are you okay?”
“'M fineKAGHK” He coughed before collapsing. In a hurry, Cathy picked him up in a bridal lift and ran.
“You're nearly there.” Tangerine told her in her mind, “Look up.” The hill turned into a cliff-face, from the top of which Tangerine looked down and waved. Sickle threw a rope down from Tangerine's pack.
Shifting Buster onto one of her shoulders, Cathy began climbing with difficulty, struggling inch by inch up the cliff-face until she was able to lay Buster down on the rock, then climb over the edge herself. After a moment she leant over his unconscious form to attend to him.
“Is he gonna be okay?” Tangerine asked.
“Give me a second.” Cathy leant over him, her face above his, then moved in closer until they were inches apart. Then she yelled at him, “ON YOUR FEET NOW, SOLDIER!”
He started up, headbutting her in the process. The two rubbed their foreheads and sat up.
While Buster muttered suppressed curses, Tangerine asked “What now?” Fire spells were still being cast in the forest, and the same mad cackling echoed out from their epicentre.
“I vote we kill whoever's doing the fire.”
“If you're good and they're evil.” Cathy said.
They paused a few moments.
“Do you think they noticed we left the forest?” Tangerine asked as trees continued to be set aflame.
Another cackle rang through the forest.
“Let's see if he tires himself out.” Cathy sat at the edge of the plateau, watching.
After about five minutes a large circle of ash had formed in the middle of the forest and the figure at the middle of it appeared satisfied. One last cackle petered out.
“Okay, let's move.” Cathy prepared to descend the cliff.
“Mine!” Buster exploded off the cliff and into the clearing of ash. He looked down at the short wild-looking redheaded man in a red robe. “Really.”
He responded by cackling madly and sending a wall of fire in Buster's direction. He cackled louder when he saw that Buster was no longer there when the fire died, only to be sharply cut off by the voice behind him. “Surprise.” Buster punched the halfling in the back with a sound like a car-crash, sending him face-first a good inch or two into the dirt. He twisted around and threw a stream of fire that Buster sidestepped. Reaching down Buster lifted the wizard off the ground by the collar of his robe and pulled out a roll-up.
“Do me a favour, would you?” Buster asked, indicating the roll-up. The halfling pointed a hand and set the tip alight.
“Much obliged.” He put it in his mouth and took a drag, “Got anything to say for yourself?”
“Don't hit me?”
“Wrong answer.” Buster knocked the halfling out of his hands and across the clearing, where he came to rest in front of Cathy.
“Buster!”
“Relax. He tried to kill us. I was just having a bit of fun.”
Cathy pulled out her sword and pointed it at the prostrate wizard. “You're going to start telling us about why you were trying to kill us.”
“Wasn't. Just doing what the Master told me to.” The halfling surrendered immediately.
“Who is your master?”
The halfling nodded towards the mountain. “Waiting for you.” Before Cathy could move her sword to stop him, the fireball was in his hands and moved to his chest. The cackling resumed and grew louder by the second as he burned.
Buster approached the immolated corpse. “Git.”