Trix of the Trade - Chapter 9

>You are Anonymous.
>You stand in front of a mirror in the main room. It was originally in Trixie’s room but she allowed you to borrow it.
>Except she didn’t really say, ‘yes’. You just took it without her permission.
>She didn’t seem to mind. She had about 7 more, anyway.
>You were trying on different outfits. Clothes are a part of a first impression!
>Also, you want to wear the cowboy outfit again.
>It just doesn’t work here…
>Hat off? Okay that does look a bit better.
>But this just isn’t the right place for a cowboy outfit. Maybe just a sweater and blue pants?
>No. Way too unprofessional.
>You don’t HAVE anything professional.
>Trixie emerges from her room.
>”Seriously? You’re still not ready? Ugh, why must you be slow at everything?”
“Because I wear more than a smelly cape and a stupid hat.”
>”Trixie’s cape is not smelly!”
“It’s wrapped around your butt all day. I don’t see how it can’t be smelly.”
>”Trixie… Trixie doesn’t have to put up with this!”
“Ehhh, relax. It’s just banter. You’ll be getting it a lot from me.”
>Trixie huffs in annoyance.
“You want to know how you can speed this along? Tell me, does this cowboy getup still work? I know it looks good but I’m not sure if it’ll be appropriate.”
>”Yeah, that. Trixie likes that outfit.”
“You’re not saying that just to get me moving, are you?”
>”No. Trixie is not one to denounce such excellent attire made for idiots.”
“Well fuck you very much, Trixie.”
>”Calm down. It is only banter. You shall be getting it a lot from Trixie.”
>Fucking Trixie.

>Trixie finally gets fed up with your delays so you make a compromise. You ditch the vest and hat while keeping the rest of the outfit. You look more like business man this way.
>As soon as the two of you exit the wagon, you notice something wrong.
>The air is thick and… green.
“Trixie, you seein’ this?”
>”… It wasn’t like this the last time Trixie came to Hoofington.”
“Should we go check it out?”
>”Yes, one moment.”
>Trixie’s horn lights up with magic. You feel a very slight expansion in the back of your throat and a mild pop.
>You grasp your throat in panic.
“What happened?!”
>”Trixie created a magical field in the back of your throat to clean the air that you breathe in.”
“… Wait, seriously? I’ve never heard of anything like that.”
>You take in a deep breath. You can still taste how bad the air is but it feels just fine going down the pipe.
“Heh, that’s pretty cool.”
>Trixie smirks. Yeah, more ego inflation. Awesome job, Anon.
“So which way into town?”
>”All we need to do is follow this dirt path to a much larger one that opens up on the edge of town.”
“Cool, lead the way.”
>Trixie steps forward.
>Pine needles crunch under your feet and hooves as you tread through a forest of dying evergreen trees. You remember some places back on Earth with trees like this. Such places were so serene.
>Not this place, though. This thick air in anything but peaceful. It’s only disgusting and hazardous.

>The sounds of hustle and bustle reach your ears quickly enough.
>”We’re almost there.”
“Is it me or is this shit getting thicker?”
>”No… it’s not you. It’s starting to hurt Trixie’s eyes…”
“Yeah, same here.”
>The two of you take your first step onto a cobblestone road.
>”This… wasn’t here the last time Trixie performed in Hoofington.”
“Maybe they spruced up the place?”
>Trixie kicks a loose stone. “That would make se-“
“LOOK OUT!”
>You yank Trixie out of harm’s way as a wagon pulled by two stallions speeds by.
>You then leap backwards, Trixie still in your arms, to avoid another oncoming wagon.
>The driver was kind enough to call you a blind faglord. Wonderful.
>”W-What is this place?!”
>You look to the direction from where the wagons came from.
>Your eyes focus and the thick green fog seems to split momentarily for you.
>Silhouettes of large smokestacks and factories become visible. Dismantled buildings come into view.
“I think this is Hoofington…”
==
>You and Trixie wander the streets of Hoofington. The green fog, which you have determined is pollutants, is thicker than ever. How ponies breathe in this is baffling. What’s worse, they don’t even seem to notice.
>Trixie walks close to your side. She tries her hardest to hide her fears of this new and unexpected version of Hoofington but it clearly has her shaken up.
“You doin’ alright?”
>”Trixie is fine… But she was here three years ago and... Trixie has never seen so much change in such a short amount of time.”
>You hear hoofsteps approach the two of you from a nearby alley.
>”G’aftanoon, friends. You two new in Hoofin’ton?”

>A young stallion emerges from the shadows of the alleyway. His mane and coat are both gray. He wears a dark brown vest and a blueish gray ascot cap.
“Uh, yeah?”
>”Aha! Splendid! We always love us some newcomers ‘ere in Hoofin’ton. Why don’ I give ya a quick rundown of the place, eh?”
>You feel you face stretch into a smile. The kindness of strangers here is truly something to behold!
>Trixie remains stoic.
“Sounds great, lead the way!”
>”Very well then. C’mon, follow me. We can get a better look at my favorite city from the town square.”
>He begins to quickly trot down the cobblestone road. As you follow, Trixie gets a little closer to you. You notice she is staring daggers--no, fucking nuclear warheads at the stallion in front of you.
“Something wrong?”
>You keep your voice quiet enough so the nameless stallion doesn’t hear you.
>”Don’t trust this one. Not for a single moment.”
“Are you sure?”
>”Trixie is absolutely positive.”
“Allllrighty,then.”
>”You two sayin’ somethin’ back there?”
>”No we did not. Keep moving.”
>Trixie’s voice was flat and emotionless. It’s a little frightening, to be honest.
>The stallion stopped you in a large open area. Ponies of all shapes and sizes shuffled around you, all trying to get to some sort of destination. It slightly reminded you of an ant colony.
>”Ahem…”

>”’Ere’s my city. Hoofin’ton.”
>He swings his foreleg around in a full 360.
>”O’er there,” He points to the factories and smokestacks. “Is what made Hoofin’ton grow so much inna last few years. A smart mare discovered jus’ how much ennagy burnin’ coal puts off n’ things just got outta control afta that. Hoofin’ton had huge population boom with investuhs flooin’ in from all over Equestria. Place musta tripled in size since I was born here just unda twenny year ago.”
>You take a look at the large smokestacks. Trixie doesn’t stop staring at the stallion.
>The city was slightly reminiscent of early 1900’s America.
“Alright, anything else?”
>”Honestly, no. You’d think commercial business would boom n’ whatnot from the population growth but shop afta shop just started closin’. I used ta be able to go down the street for a chocolate bar. Now I gotta go a few blocks down an’ I’m sure that place’ll be closin’up soon. Tragic, really. Bars n’ Pubs are really boomin’ righ’ now though. They got somma the good stuff on tap for a darn good price.”
“Well if that’s it, we’d better get going.”
>You extend a hand.
“It was a pleasure to meet you…”
>His hoof meets you hand.
>”Er… Timmy. I-I mean Tommy! Uh, Timommerthy!”
>… Okay?
“Well then you have a nice day… Timommerthy…”
>”Ehehehe, p-pleasure’s all mine…”
>He about-faces and quickly tries to escape.
>But a purple magical field stops him.
>”Hold it.”

>Trixie has stopped the stallion from moving and she began to levitate him back towards the two of you.
>”Trixie believes you have something of ours…”
>She flips him upside down and bangs his head against the cobblestone road.
>An assortment of things falls out of his pockets. Two pocket watches, a wedding ring, your coin purse, his hat-Wait what?
>You bend down and pick up the coin purse. Yeah, those are your initials on it.
>”So you ARE a thief! Ha! Trixie knew it all along!”
>She flings the thief’s body a few feet away like a ragdoll.
>He scrambles to his feet and tries to grab his other things.
>Trixie stops him mere inches away, only to tease him.
>She scoops up the valuables and places the ring on her horn just for good measure.
>”It’s best if you leave now before Trixie gets the authorities involved.”
>She sends him flying to the same spot he was shoved to before. He quickly fades into the crowd once he regains his footing.
>Trixie stuffs the jewelry in your pockets while you count the money in your coin purse.
“… 36, 37, 38! All there.”
>Good thing too, this is all that’s left from Trixie’s Ponyville earnings.
>You start to thank Trixie only to find her in a pose. Is she trying to look… heroic?
“What are you doing?”
>”Trixie just stopped a criminal and you from looking like a fool! Don’t you think she deserves some recognition?”
>She sticks her nose a little higher in the air and she lengthens her smug grin.
“… How did you figure it out?”
>Trixie sighs and slumps down from her pose.
>”Trixie is well traveled. She has picked up the ability to spot petty thieves.”

“Well, thanks.”
>She tries to take a heroic pose once more but instead she just puts on a gentle smile.
>Or maybe she was just honestly smiling. Weird, right?
>Then an insidious expression flashes across her face.
>”Yes! And for such a deed,”
>The coin purse is magically yanked from your hands.
>”Trixie deserves a little reward, wouldn’t you agree?”
>No.
>Yes, a little.
“That’s fine, I guess… Just don’t spend it all.”
>She mockingly ponders.
>”Hmmm… No promises~”
>She gives you a sly wink before falling in line with the crowd of ponies, soon disappearing, herself.
>…
>Well.
>Trixie just ditched you in a city you’ve never been in before.
>You don’t exactly have a clear objective.
>And you’re bitless…
>Guess that means you’d better get started!
>First, a location!
>This area that the stallion led you two is suitable. It’s like a town square except it’s not likely the center of town.
>You don’t see any street names but you make a mental note of local businesses and landmarks.
>The buildings surrounding the area are all the same. Two story red brick establishments with a business on bottom and what looks like an apartment on top. There’s another building similar to those two where the road splits, you can probably set the stage up there.
>You may have a problem with actually getting people to come watch the show but maybe just the lights and sounds alone will be enough to attract an audience.
>Maybe you can bribe a town crier or a newspaper boy with one of these watches.
>”Excuse me, Mr. Anonymous?” A deep, stern voice comes from behind.

>You turn around and are met by two Unicorns. One, a thick bodied stallion, and another, a dainty mare. They both had brown coats and manes, black suits and black sunglasses.
“Uhhh, yes?”
>The stallion speaks up first.
>”We’re with Wagons Unlimited, specifically the billing department. Tell me, are you associated with a Miss Trixie Lulamoon?”
“Yeah. Wait, did something happen? Was the wagon stolen?”
>”… No. We’re here to collect either the wagon or the bits she owes to the company. She’s 4 months behind on wagon payments and she has until the end of this month to make a payment or else the wagon and everything in it is ours.”
>Your heart skips a beat.
>4 months?
>FOUR
>FUCKING
>MONTHS?
>Oooohohohoho, you’re going to have a serious talk with Trixie.
>”And as you may know… The end of the month is-“
“Tommorow…”
>Your voice is hardly above a whisper.
>”Correct. If we don’t receive 264 bit—plus interest—we’ll be forced to reprimand the wagon. If you resist, we are within our rights to... Remove you.”
>The female Unicorn cracks her… knuckles? What?
>”So if you see Ms. Lulamoon, please pass on the message.”
“Yeah… Yeah, you got it.”
>The stallion turns around and walks away. The mare follows suit but not before blowing you a kiss. She swings her flank to silly extremes while catching up to the stallion.
>Brown isn’t your color. 2/10 would not bang.
>But seriously. You need to find Trixie. You can’t have her goofing off right now.

“Youuuu are THE GREST AND POWERERFUL TRIXIE!”
“And-And you foun this wonderful bar juts not so far from where you left Anon… Anon… ?”
 “Anonmos?”
“Whatever.”
“Anyway they sell the gretest cider you’ve ever tasted for only… only 6 bits.”
”You mean 5 bits”
“An everyp0ny here is sooooo nice to Trixie.”
“Look at all these stallionsss!! They lobve you!”
“Maybe you shoulf take one(or two!) back to yur wagon heheh.”
>”Excuse me miss, are you okay?”
“Look at this nice stallion. He’s so nice. And Handsome!”
>”Are… Are you talking to me?”
“Is Trixie talking? Oh noooooo! She didn’t mean to. Guess it’s not a secret now! Hows about you come with her, hmmm?”
>”Uhhh…”
“The tanish lookin’ pony lightly blushes.”
>”Y-Yeah, sounds like fun!”
“Thas just the best. Trixie… Trixie could use a g”ood pipes cleaning.”
“The stallion blushes really hard now.”
>”Umm. Ponies are starting to stare, shall we go then?
“Trixie likes that idea.”
“You grab his face.”
“You are jus the cutest. Trixie can’t wait to get her hooves… hands… no wait, hooves on you…”
“You pull the stallion out of his seat and drag him along behind you. It’s now dark out. Habe you really been drinkin all day?”
>”Miss I am perfectly capeable-“
“Hush, you’ll break Trixie’s… ugh…”
>”Focus?”
“Stupid tan pony think’s he so smart.”
>”You’re still talking out loud.”

“You evenally make it to thef wagon. The lights are on so ADUMBymous must still be awake.”
“You laugh at your joke.”
>”Did you say Anonymous? Like, the human? Is he here?”
“Quiet, hot muffin. It’s not importan.”
“You open the door and you see anonmos sitting at the table twiddling his hoofy finger things.”
>”Trixie?”
“Humen.”
>”Anonymous?”
>”Caramel?”
“You twof know each other?”
“A moose looks at you with a really mad glare.”
>”Trixie are you drunk?!”
“Trixie is very dunk.”
“He puts his head into his hands.”
>”Trixie look, I need you to sober up. Do you have a spell for that?”
“Yeh. Yeah but Trixie won’t use iiiiit.”
>”What? Why not?”
>”Trixie, this sounds important. Maybe you should…”
“You whirl around on the cute tan pony.”
“No! You are Trixie’s for the tonight!”
“You feel a tighening feeling in yer bladder.”
“… Right after she uses the little Mare’s room.”
“You exit the wagon and walk into the forest, somewhere where a couple of very curious boys wouldn’t shee you.”
==
>You are Anonymous.
>You stand in Trixie’s wagon with Caramel.
>”So… Should I go?”
>You cross your arms and glare at Caramel.
>”Right… Going.”

“You are THE GREAT AN POWERFULS TRIXIE again.”
“And afer some much needed relief you make your way back to the wagon.”
“Buck! Why is walking through thif fores so hard todo?”
“Ah,youfound it!”
“You stumble into the wagon, hoping to find your prize for the eveninght.”
>”Ugh, there you are.”
“The tan stallion isn’ here nomore, just the human.”
“What happen to my compenny?”
>”Gone. Go to bed, Trixie.”
“But it’s still earlyyyy. And Trixie wants to have fuuuuun.”
“You shay in a very whiney voice.”
“Then Tirixe thinks of a very fun ideas.”
“Hey… you! Trixie thouf of a fun thing to do!”
>”I heard.”
“You take offff your robe and wishard cap.”
“You begin remofing Amonmos clothes.”
>”Hey, that is NOT happening!”
“He thinkds he has a choice.”
“Come oooooon, it will be fun!”
“You pick him up wif your levitation magics and begin to carry him to your room.”
>”Trixie! Stop”
“Yous don’ stop.”
“Wha’s his problem? Thif is goin tobe really, really fun!”

>You are Anonymous.
>You’ve just woken up.
>In Trixie’s bed.
>Wearing nothing.
>She tried to force her hat and cape onto last night you but you removed them quickly enough.
>They were too hot anyway.
>Sleep… wasn’t easy last night.
>Shall we go down the list?
>First: Trixie did a great job of keeping you up with all the noise she made.
>Second: You think the respiration spell wore off at some point during the night. You feel like shit now.
>Third: Sleeping in someone else’s bed, someone you don’t really like is a little unnerving.
>And Fourth: Trixie is sleeping in YOUR bed with YOUR clothes!
>Considering how absolutely smashed she was last night, she probably vomited everywhere.
>Yeah, that won’t be a fun mess to clean up.
>You yank the bed sheets off you.
>You suddenly feel… unwound? Yeah. Sleeping in Trixie’s bed felt weird but it also felt really, really good.
>Trixie spares no expense when it involves her, does she?
>You need to fix that.
>You’re about to leave her room when you fully realize your nudity.
>…
>FUCK!
>Okay… Okay,chill.
>You think it’s still early so Trixie must still be KO’ed pretty hard.
>Still, you need some sort of cover.
>You consider Trixie’s blanket and cape, but you think the hat would be the funniest.
>Worst case scenario, she wakes up and removes the hat in a fit of rage.
>Best case? She never finds out and she has your genitals on her mane just by third party contact. Hehehe.

>Okay. With Trixie’s cap over your crotch and her cape over your back, (Shut up you’re cold.) you crack open the door to her room and peek outside.
>And you are met with a huge pile of junk.
>It looks like she took everything in the room and piled it in front of her door.
>Trixie must have forgotten that the door opens inwards.
>Or maybe she was extremely drunk and impulsive.
>It seems that when drunken Trixie isn’t trying to sleep with ALL of the stallions, she’s a little silly and fun.
>You push off the top layer of junk and climb over the rest
>Pots, chairs, and a few trinkets clatter against the wooden floor as you step over to the other side of the pile. Whatever wasn’t on the pile was either flipped over or broken.
>You instinctively start cleaning the mess but only until you remember how naked you are.
>Fuckkkkkkkk. You really don’t want to go in that room.
>You turn to your room. The door is only cracked a little.
>You hear a light snoring from inside.
>You take a deep breath before tiptoeing to the door, avoiding the debris sprawled across the floor.
>With your free hand, you slowly push open the door.
>The volume of Trixie’s snoring seems to increase ten-fold once she comes into eyesight.

>And there she is, wearing your clothes, curled up in your blankets.
>How this role swap thing could be funny to even a drunken pony is beyond you.
>Trixie sleeps in an extremely uncomfortable position, upside down with her back against a wall.
>Her neck is going to hurt like a bitch.
>You see your suitcase lying against the far wall.
>You’re still upset you have no more than a bedroll, lantern, and suitcase. Really, you probably could have snaked a few more things from Rarity.
>You give yourself a little bump to the head. You need to focus on getting out of here safely.
>You take two careful, long strides. The floor lightly creaks but Trixie remains comatose.
>You internally sigh in relief.
>You grab the suitcase and turn back towards the door.
>Yeah, time to ditch Trixie’s stuff.
>You remove the hat from its… place and lay it down next Trixie.
>You then untie the cape and set it down.
>You got a little careless and the gem that the string clinches around, makes a loud clatter as it hits the floor.
>Trixie grunts in response.
>Shit, close one.
>You take a step-
>You feel a pair of hooves wrap around your ankle.
>Your heart stops. You think. Maybe.
>You look down to see Trixie with her eyes still shut, fondling your foot and ankle.
>Then a scowl forms across her face.
>”… Trixie did it again, didn’t she?” Her voice was low and raspy. “For once Trixie would like to…”
>She sighs before rolling away and quickly passing back out.
>…
>…
>Holy shit.

>Take a few long strides to get out of your room.
>Close the door.
>And scream into your hand.
>Never have you been so scared for your life. That time Fluttershy sent a Manticore after you? Yeah, scary as a puppy when compared to what could have happened.
>I mean, Trixie seeing your dick? She’d probably fuck it until it fell off and give you a pony STD that happens to be fatal to humans.
>You stow your overactive imagination away to retrieve your clothes from the suitcase.
>You’d wear the clothes you wore yesterday if Trixie wasn’t wearing them. They couldn’t be too dirty, all you did was walk around town.
>You concede with just a white t-shirt and blue jeans. A style that never goes out of fashion.
>You wish you had something that looked more professional. You started travelling with Trixie greatly underprepared. These will have to do though.
>The idea of commissioning Rarity for more clothes just keeps getting better.
>You slip the clothes. They’ve been sitting over nearly three weeks in a stuffed suitcase so they’re not so great looking.
>Gah, these wrinkles are going to frustrate you to no end…
>Maybe Trixie knows a spell to unwrinkle it. She sure seems to know a lot about useful but unimpressive spells.
>Healing, filtration, instant dry. She probably fit ironing somewhere in there.
>You also think back to her fight with Twilight Sparkle back in Ponyville.
>Defensive orbs, teleportation, hat portals. Yeah, wizards are cool.

>Speak of the devil, you hear things being knocked over from inside your room.
>Trixie comes stumbling out of your room moments later, tripping over .
>She looks up at you with sags in her eyes for a moment before looking at the mess she’s created.
>”… Trixie is never drinking again.”
“How many times have you told yourself that?”
>She scowls before reluctantly saying,
>”Too many times.”
>Nice.
>You fish the table out of the large pile of junk and set it down in the least cluttered spot you could find.
“We need to talk.”
>Trixie shirks a little at those words.
>You pick two chairs up from off the floor and place them next to each other. Putting them across from each other will make the following discussion sting more than it needs to.
“C’mon, sit. I’ll make some coffee.”
>She calmly complies and lays her head on the table.
>You and Trixie are silent as the coffee brews. The maker you bought in Ponyville was cheap and it takes longer than you’d like to brew a pot but late coffee is better than none. And it has served you well in the past week.
>You pour the coffee into two mugs as it finishes. You give Trixie a little extra cream and sugar as it is her first cup of the joe.
>Trixie scoffs as you set the mug in front of her.
>”Trixie does NOT drink this… muck!”
“Yeah,”
>You take the seat next to her, sipping your own coffee.
“It tastes like shit but it’ll kick your ass into gear. ‘Sides, I sweetened it up a bit for you.”
>She pushes it away with a hoof.
“Fine, we’ll skip the coffee.”
>You set your mug down.

“So.”
>”… So?”
“So… Four months late?”
>Trixie’s eyes widen to the size of saucepans.
“Two unicorn approached me yesterday… If we don’t pay what we owe, we lose the wagon.”
>”A-Already? Has… This month hasn’t… Oh no.”
>She hops out of her chair and darts to the pile of junk, franticly looking through it.
>”No, no, no, no, no!”
>She pulls your coin purse from the pile and throws it to the floor behind her.
>It was stuffed when Trixie took it off your hands. Now… It appears to onlyhave a few coins left.
>Trixie dives on top of it and pulls out the remaining coins.
>Two.
>You and Trixie only have two bits to your name.
>Oh. Trixie just threw them in random directions out of anger.
>Make that zero bits.
>Trixie stomps towards you, tears forming in her eyes.
>”This is all your fault!”
“Hey, calm down.”
>”Trixie only brought you along so may resolve issues of this sort!”
>”That’s not-“
>”But no! You can’t even do that! All you have done for Trixie is make everything worse!”
”Trixie.”
>”You’re no more than a big, stupid, ugly, hairless,”
“Trixie!”
>”misplaced freak of nature who doesn’t-“
“HEY!”
>Your hands clasp around her face.
>The urge to knock her the fuck out rises, but fades just as quick as it came.
“We. CANNOT. Do this right now.”
>Her rage falters.
“We’re going to get through this.”
>She pushes your hands off.
>”And how do you suggest we do that?!”
“We do a show! A damn good one!”

>Trixie tilts her head.
>”How much?”
“Bits?”
>She quickly nods.
“Roughly 300.”
>She mouths, “Doable…” silently.
>Then she thinks.
>”… We need to move”
>You pump your fist.
>”After I remove these… peasant clothes.”
>You ignore her incorrect opinion.
>She quickly trots back into her room to discard you clothes and retrieve her own.
>You follow her in.
“Okay, first we need-“
>”DO YOU KNOW NOTHING OF MANNERS? LEAVE TRIXIE TO CHANGE IN PEACE!”
>Right. Mare. Almost always naked but still sensitive about changing.
>You’re ejected out of the room before you can do so on your own accord.
>You get off your ass and try to figure out what to do.
>Immediately you dart of the stepladder.
>Gotta get the location.
>You get outside, wipe the needles off the bench, grab the reins, and move at the speed of…
>Molasses in January.
>Fuck.
>You impatience quickly gets the better of you as you flail around, trying to make this damn thing go faster.
>Trixie emerges from the wagon soon enough.
>With her cape… And hat.
>You snort.
>She shoves you aside as takes the reins from you.
>”Where is Trixie going?” She looks at you wearingly. “You DID find a proper location for Trixie to WOW and AMAZE an audience, hmmm?”
“Same place you stopped the thief!”
>With that, the wagon is off at blazing speeds.

>Trixie reaches the cobblestone road in mere seconds. She expertly dodges around carriages and ponies alike.
>You hold on for dear life. Every sharp turn nearly throws you off and there are a LOT of sharp turns.
>Within 5 minutes the wagon comes to a dead stop.
>You feel yourself about to fly off but a purple aura stops you before your ass comes off the seat.
“Thanks.”
>Trixie then carefully parks the wagon against one of the brick homes and hops off the wagon.
>You hop of seconds later and check on the inside of the wagon. Nothing moved.
>This magical Narnia wagon is so great.
>You quickly grab your coffee on the table and jump back out.
>Trixie is getting a good look at the surrounding area.
“Will it work?”
>”Trixie would like it to be bigger.”
>Of course you would.
“No time.”
>”Quite. Take these.”
“Take wha-AHH!”
>A large stack of paper falls on your head.
>You pick one up. It’s a poster. The same one that you saw in Ponyville.
>”Put those everywhere.”
“… Did you just conjure these out of thin air?”
>Trixie scoffs.
>”Trixie doesn’t have time to-“ She looks behind you and gasps.
>You twist your head around.
>It’s the two suited unicorns again.
>Awww here it goes.

>The male unicorn smirks.
>”I see you did us a favor and brought the wagon to us.”
>”The day has hardly started!” Trixie speaks up.  “You’ll get your bits the end of the day!”
>She approaches the stallion.
>”So the two of you just leave Trixie alone!”
>”Trixie. we warned you the last time this happened—“
>You lose focus on the conversation once you notice the mare he’s always with is staring at you.
>Stoic expression and unmoving.
>Pretty creepy dude.
>You try to jump back into the argument.
>”—You greedy suits got the money anyway! Why bother Trixie when you know she’s going to get the bits soon!”
>”We DON’T know that and we honestly don’t believe it. After what happened in Appleoosa, and yes, we know what happened in Appleoosa, we’re done taking risks with you, Trixie.”
>You open your mouth to say something but the mare catches your eye once more.
>… She moved closer while you were looking away.
“Umm-“
>She takes another step.
>A smirk forms across her face.
>She looks to the stallion and taps her hoof twice.
>The stallion stops mid-argument and peers over to the two of you.
>The mare nods in your direction?
>”What? No! You said you’d never do that again!”
>The mare nods in your direction again.
>The stallion groans.
>”Fine. Fine! You know you’re gonna get canned if this gets out, and then I’M gonna get canned.”
>The mare rolls her eyes. At least, you think. She’s still wearing those sunglasses.
>”Don’t ‘chu give me that! Shit rolls downhill, you know!”
“Wait, what’s going on?”

>The stallion sighs as the mare pulls out a piece of paper, a quill, and a small bottle of ink.
>She dips the quill in the ink and scribbles something down onto the paper.
>She gives it a quick blow to dry it a little before handing it off to you.
>Christ, her penmanship is somehow worse than Trixie’s.
“What is this?”
>Trixie yanks it out of your hands.
>Her expression turns stoic.
>”Deal.”
“What’s a deal?”
>”We’re only giving you until tonight, though!”
>”Go-“
“No, I’m not going to be a part of some batshit insane idea when I have no idea what’s going on.”
>”Anonymous,”
>That’s the first time Trixie has used your name while not drunk or trying to frustrate your friends.
>”You have a date.”
>NO
>NONONONNONONONONONO
==
>Fuck
>EVERYTHING
>Now you stand in front of a cracked mirror, the only one Trixie would spare, inside the wagon.
“Trixie I know how to button up a shirt.”
>Trixie felt the need to totally screw you over AND coordinate your dressings.
>And she had to pick out your shitty plaid over shirt.
>”Trixie isn’t going to let you mess this up for her! You need to look mildly appealing, at least.”
“I’d argue that the species gap makes that impossible but… We wouldn’t be here if that were true.”
>”Several mares prefer something… exotic…”
“Does it have anything to do with stallions lasting 12 seconds in bed?”
>She only responds by tightening your belt way too much.

>You readjust the belt to a more breathable level.
“Great, how do I look?”
>”Poor, unnatural,”
>You give her a deadpan stare.
>”Stupid, disgusting, unfashionable-“
“Someone is jealous.”
>She jabs you in the gut with a hoof.
>”Trixie is FRUSTRATED because you get to go on a nice lunch date while she does alllll the work!”
“I suppose that’s a little unfair. Why don’t you give me a small stack of posters and I’ll put some up on my way to…”
>Fuck where are you even going?!
“Uh… Did the note say where-“
>”The Burning Phoenix, only the finest Griffon restaurant in Western Equestria.”
“Omnivore place, got it.”
>Wait.
>Meat!
>YES!
“And how do I get there?”
>”Trixie is not a map!” She growls.
>Yeah, she’s so jealous. Maybe a nice Stallion will take her there after tonight’s show.
>Haha, yeah right. She’ll just fuck him and chuck him.
>”Ask around, somep0ny will eventually tell you.”
“Really? We’re about to lose the wagon and you’re giving me this attitude?”
>”But…” She sighs. “It’s not faaaaaair!”
>You roll your eyes.
>”… Trixie is sure it is where it was before; On the western brim of the city.”
“Ugh, fuck me. That is such a long walk. Before I head out, would you mind doing that… whatever spell on me?”
>Trixie raises an eyebrow. “’Whatever’ Spell?”
“The… thing. To help me breathe in this air.”
>Trixie sighs for the millionth time today.
>”Respirator spell…”
“Yeah, that.”
>Trixie pauses a moment before igniting her horn with magic. You feel a familiar sensation in your throat.
>You give her a thumbs up before hopping out of the wagon with a small pile of posters in hand.
>You see Trixie nearly fuming as you close the door. Eh, she’ll calm down eventually.

>You are THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!
>AND CELESTIA DAMNIT YOU ARE FRUSTRATED!
>HE HAS DONE NOTHING TO HELP EXCEPT MAYBE ONE OR TWO THINGS
>AND GIVE YOU THE IDEA FOR THE THEME OF YOUR PERFORMANCE TONIGHT
>BUT NOTHING ELSE
>AND NOW HE’S GOING ON A BUCKING DATE WITH SOME SKANKY MUTE OF A MARE WHO IS MUCH LESS ATTRACTIVE THAN YOU?
>OKAY. PARTNERSHIP OVER. GOOD THING HE DIDN’T SIGN THAT CONTRACT OR HE’D WEASEL IN ON YOUR PROFITS.
>IN PURE FRUSTRATION YOU ENTER HIS DINKY LITTLE ROOM TO THROW OUT ALL OF HIS POSSESSIONS.
>BUT YOU JUST TOSS THINGS AROUND A LITTLE INSTEAD.
>HE WILL NOT HAVE FUN CLEANING THAT UP!
>OH, IS THAT HIS CHARMING HAT HE GOT FROM APPLEOOSA? HAT MEET HOOF!
>THIS IS MAKING YOU FEEL BETTER AND WORSE AT THE SAME TIME!
>NOW YOU… YOU… Ugh. Trixie needs to calm down.
>He’s just dumb and lazy. Why that mare felt the need to abduct him is so far beyond your greater understanding.
>And why does he get to have all the fun? You’re the star! The main attraction! You should be rubbing fetlocks with  high society ponies and the like. Instead you’ll be trotting around town like an average tramp, putting up posters of your face.
>Oh, you just love the idea of ponies staring at your face all day. But the exuberance is wasted when you don’t have your little hireling to do the hard work for you.
>Ahhh~, those were the days. When you could just order him around and he’d blindly obey.

>With the comforting thoughts of commanding Anonymous around, you stuff the large stack of posters into your ‘Infini-Store’ enchanted hat.
>You can’t believe some old hack of a Unicorn came up with this enchantment before you did. You thought of it when you were just a little filly! If you had any spare time and you were 10 years older, you would have invented that spell first.
>Uhhh… Oh! Right, Anonymous, misery, underling. Perfect.
>You exit the wagon and start slapping posters on any flat surface you find while the thoughts of Anonymous’ borderline enslavement occupy your mind.
>’Hireling, would you be a dear and please make a pot of tea for The Great and Powerful and Benevolent Trixie?’ You’d say.
>Then he would spin in place and do that weird pointy-thing with his fingers and say, “Nah.”
>You would kindly ask again.
>He would then write a 50 page essay on why he won’t do it and send it to Princess Celestia, only to have it rejected. In shame, he would make you a cup of tea and then give you a hooficure as an apology.
>And then a horn polish. You could go for a good horn polish.
>You rub your horn under your hat. It had been a while since you’ve given it a good cleaning… You put that on your mental preshow to-do list.

>The time passes by quickly with thoughts of Anonymous’ displeasure and misery.
>And stallions. Rich, handsome stallions.
>Oh, which stallion shall engross your mind today? Hoity Toity? Fancy Pants?
Or… By Celestia, yes!
>Prince Blueblood. Mmmmm… Just thinking about him sends a shiver down your spine.
>Noble, handsome, rich, handsome, a prince, rich, rich, and handsome.
>And a rich, handsome Prince.
>You accidentally slap a poster onto a mare’s flank while your thoughts are elsewhere.
>She yells something at you but you’re not paying attention to her. Why would you care about what happened to her flank when you’re occupied with thinking about Blueblood’s flank…
>Worshiping yours.
>All of Equestria, bowing at your presence, kissing your hooves one by one. The Canterlot ponies first. Then the rabble at Ponyville. Then Anonymou-
>He refused…
>You demand that he now licks the bottom of your hoof.
>He turns everyone against you and you get lynched.
>Bad end.
>…
>That’s not how your normal daydreams go.
>Is he ruining your daydreams now?
>He has no right to do that! You ought to go in there and… and…
>You stop yourself. You’re staring at Anonymous through the large front window of The Burning Phoenix.
>You now realize that you’ve subconsciously followed Anonymous to the restaurant.
>Did you say subconsciously? You mean accidentally.

>You’ve heard that Griffin establishments are unique but… wow! You have a little trouble seeing inside due to the tinted windows and lack of lighting. Each table has a few candles lit but that’s all there is for lighting. The lowered tables and floor are a dark mahogany color with deep crimson seating pillows.
>You grumble to yourself. It’s so hard to see inside! It’s a good thing Anonymous and that stupid mare are seating right in front of a window.
>And they’ve been staring at you for the past minute.
>Anonymous’ stare is pleading while the mare’s is… Is she mocking you?
>You slap a poster on the window to cover her face.
>You turn to Anonymous and give him a devilish smirk.
>You can almost hear his heart drop as you begin to walk away.
>He can enjoy his ‘date.’ You, on the other hoof, have actual work to do.
== A few hours later==
>You are Anonymous.
>You did not enjoy the date.
>You did not enjoy the salad she forced you to order, or the hayshake.
>You did not enjoy the walk through the poverty stricken, rat infested, heavily polluted streets to her motel.
>And you really didn’t like it that the only words she said was, “Do it or you lose the bucking wagon.”
>So… You did it. It was… really, really weird. You’re having trouble wrapping your head around it.
>Your body is cheering like it just won gold at the Olympics though. Let’s face it, you’ve been in Equestria for nearly a year now, and you weren’t exactly in the middle of a midnight romp before you came here.
>And you saved the wagon. Until tonight, that is.
>And you got a free meal!
>Soooo… This wasn’t so bad? You guess? You don’t know. This is all a little confusing.

>But what was the deal with Trixie? Did she show up only to placate you some more?
>Jokes on her, your evening was slightly above average with all things considered.
>And it looks like Trixie has been doing her part too. The closer you get to where you left the wagon, the more posters you see plastered on the walls.
>You hope she did more than that. It didn’t work so well in Ponyville.
>Then again, Hoofington is a different animal.
>Perhaps the ponies here see something that isn’t muted or grey and come rushing to whatever it is.
>You come out of another alleyway and onto a familiar looking road.
>The traffic on the streets has absolutely slimmed down since the morning. It’s still crowded but at least you’re not bumping into every pony that passes by.
>But most seem to be moving in one direction.
>Your direction.
>… Oh my god.
>Trixie you didn’t…
>If she… Oh my god.
>You can hardly contain your excitement as you approach the junction the wagon is stationed at.
>Visibility, noise, and oddly enough, the general mood greatly increases the closer you get to the wagon.
>Ponies strike up conversations with each other as they make their way to the junction.
>And not aggressive or complacent like the rest.
>And when you come into the crowded junction, you understand why.

>Clean air. Haha! Clean air!
>Maybe not as clean as Ponyville’s air but at least the air is no longer as thick as syrup.
>It looks like most of the pollution has been pushed upwards, if that makes sense. Either a Unicorn or maybe even a Pegasus could have done it but you have a sneaky suspicion as to who did it.
>You bring your eyes down to the citizens of Hoofington loitering in the pollution free zone.
>Most are either leaning against a building on the sidewalk or sitting in the fork in the road. They chat amongst each other or gather around particular pony spouting off greatly exaggerated stories of her exploits.
>You roll your eyes just from the small tidbits you hear. Saving Ponyville from an Ursa Major? You’d love to call her out on her lies but you need her to keep a good reputation. If she build herself up and flops during the show, that’s her damn fault.
>You shuffle around the crowd to side of the wagon.
>Trixie gives you a quick glace before you open the door and duck in.
>Something seems amiss once you close the door.
>Everything looks a bit messier than before.
>How does this fucking wagon keep getting messier?
>Twilight needs to get down here and give Trixie a lesson in organization.
>You sigh as you kick stuff to the side while walking to your room.
>Things are just worse in there.
>… God damnit.

>You groan as you try to reorganize things a little. You don’t like cleaning up for other people. Cleaning up a mess that someone made out of your stuff is the WORST.
>You only possess a few things so you’re not too worried about the mess. But, that’s not the point!
>You straighten out your bla-…
>Trixie… No…
>She ruined your hat.
>…
>Why?
>God, why?
>What did you do to deserve this?
>You thought yourself as a good man.
>You may have been a little greedy, self-centered, and a mild liar, but you never did anything ba-…
>Oh no.
>This is your penance, isn’t it? Eternal punishment for… for…
>Fucking a horse!
>Judgment was swift, castigation for your deeds was brutal.
>Never again.
>You hear the wagon’s door creak open and shut a moment later.
>You hold your hat close to your chest as the hoofsteps draw closer.
>They stop behind you.
>”You, come.”
>Trixie’s voice feels like daggers upon your eardrums, and you refuse to let that go unwarranted.
“Trixie!”
>You spin on your heels.
“What the fuck?”
>You hold the hat out in one hand and gesture to in with the other.
>She pretends to feign ignorance.
>”What? Are you implying Trixie had anything to do with that? That’s absurd! She’d never step down to petty tantrums!”
>You never said a thing about tantrums.
“Really? You really had tantrum because I did what had to be done?”
>She winces a little.
“Or was it something else?”
>You step forward. You now have the upperhand here.

“Was it because I stopped you from fucking ANOTHER strange pony, last night? Are you just a vapid cunt? Did you parents not love you?”
>Trixie quickly enraged, yet remains silent.
>You start pacing back and forth, no longer looking at her. You just look towards the ceiling and use exaggerated hand gestures.
“Why do you always do this? You’re so fucking angry at everything. I swear, working with you is like taking one step forward and two steps back,”
>”Trixie has done more than enough for the BOTH of us today! All you do is pretend you’re important while you meander about with low-class, slutty mares!”
“Oh! OH! So you’re saying we’re exactly the same?!”
>”Stop it!”
>She stomps the floorboard before taking in a deep breath.
>”Trixie… Ugh.” She struggles to hold off the anger. “Trixie has a performance tonight and this is NOT how one prepares.”
>She gestures to the door.
>”Do you want to be useful? Go attract more ponies before the show begins.”
>Holy shit you want to punch her straight in the face.
>But the less animalistic side of your brain compels you to agree with her.
>This is pretty much your last hope for keeping the wagon. If you lose it you may be in Hoofington for a while.
>Trixie sighs as a magical field envelops your hat.
>With a ‘poof!’ it returns to its original shape.
>”There, satisfied? It was only a stupid hat, anyway.”
“I hope you can appreciate the irony of that statement.”
>”Out.”


>You are Trixie.
>You don’t feel so great and powerful right now.
>You’ve tried to brush your hair, apply light makeup, and polish your horn without magic, but it’s too difficult.
>You come to learn that your performances tend to go much better if you avoid using magic in the hours beforehand.
>Your dress feels lackluster compared to the last time you wore it. You don’t know why. You used to love this dress.
>You stare at yourself in the desk mounted mirror for a few moments. Your hair looks great, but you hate it. Your eyes have no sags, but they’re hideous. Your horn shines like a beacon in the night, but it looks dull to you.
>You sigh as rest your chin on the desk.
>Look at you. You look perfect. You ARE perfect.
>So why do his petty insults hurt? You’ve taken verbal beatings before. They’ve always hurt, but none as much as his.
>He’s become a sort of… constant. A companion, if you will. He’s beyond irritating, and you’d love to have anyp0ny else travel with you. But, you’ve gotten used to him, and despite what you’ve told him, he is useful.
>His reaction to your little upset from earlier? Completely unjustified. He was absolutely out of control.
>Although, you’d be delusional if you thought some of it was undeserved.
>You take in a deep breath of air and exhale slowly.
>You have what is probably the biggest performance of your life in less than two hours. You cannot be in this state of mind.
>You do your best to push his words, his HATE out of your head for the time being. You pick up your brush and try once more to brush your hair.
>CELESTIA DAMNIT! Slipped out of your hooves again.
>His assistance would be greatly appreciated right now.

>You are Anonymous.
>In the past two hours, you’ve been telling yourself little sarcastic jokes inside your head, in the hopes they would make you feel better.
>Henshin a no go, baby.
>You lean against one of the red brick buildings, as far away from the wagon as possible.
>You’d like to sit closer to the stage but you’re willing to give up a spot for a potential audience member.
>And oh boy, there were a lot.
>More than half of the people loitering in the junction were clueless to tonight’s show. Once you struck up conversations about it, the news spread like wildfire. Just more incentive to stay in the pollutant free zone.
>You were worried at first. This is a free show. So many ponies looked dirt broke.
>Then you saw some ponies that could only be described as ‘filthy rich fat cats’. If that didn’t send your heart racing, vendors moving their little food and beverage wagons here sure did.
>It’s funny how things work like that. You hardly had to do a thing, but one action causes another, and then another. So on and so forth…
>You can’t take all the credit though. If Trixie didn’t clean the air, this may have been a dud.
>Yeah, she did well.
>And you still blew up in her face.
>You groan and rub your eyes.
>The things you said… At least 70% of it is on the ‘Never Say This Out Loud’ list.
>And over a fucking hat. A hat!
>It was just… the combination of her attitude today and last night’s drunkenness.
>It got to you.
>Man, you Mcfucked up.
>The ignition of a nearby streetlamp startles you.
>Is it already getting dark? Time flies, as they say.
>You watch as Trixie’s stage slowly unfurls itself in an irregular fashion.
>You hold your breath for a minute.
>Too much is riding on this performance.

>…
>Nothing is happening…
>Did she run away?
>Is she punking everyone?
>What is she doing?
>You may be panicking on the inside but you’re just as silent as the crowd. All you hear is a quick, but heavy, wingbeat at your side, and maybe the clopping of a few hooves within the crowd.
>The wait is murder.
>You’re seconds away from marching up there and putting on your own show when something happens.
>Thick, purple smoke oozes onto stage.
>Not Trixie’s normal affair but okay…
>Trixie seemingly morphs out of where the smoke is thickest. She has a dignified look to her. Eyes closed and foreleg raised.
>The dress is new to you. You were under the impression that she wore the hat and cape at all times
>Trixie raises her head slightly. Her horn dimly glows with magic.
>The stars themselves seem to suddenly get brighter.
>Then, as if she were Luna herself, she magically plucks a select few from the sky.
>They retain their form from the night sky as they descend and come to a halt just above the stage.
>The bright white orbs reflect off the smoke, creating a beautiful lighting effect.
>The crowd murmurs with excitement and approval.
>Trixie momentarily flashes a quick smirk.
>She lightly crouches down before letting loose into a grand leap.
>The glowing orbs crash down to where she stood a second before, creating a large flash of light and smoke the moment Trixie landed in a rockstar pose.
>There’s the Trixie you know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MdltybiL00
>After her little intro, she spun off into a series of new stunts and magic tricks.
>Her body was as much of a performance as the magic itself. Every twist of a hoof, every extension of a leg, and every shake of the hips synergized with her magic flawlessly.
>She stumbled once or twice but she played it off coolly and continued her act unaffected.
>Mixtures of red, blues, greens, whites, yellows, every color you can imagine danced in and around her like she was their goddess. To the crowd, she may as well have been.
>Then came the really exciting part. All the lights in the streets and homes were darkened.
>The only source of light nearby was Trixie.
>Trixie was literally glowing.
>She danced in the pitch darkness. The color of her coat shifted through every color in the spectrum as she did.
>The crowd was absolutely enthralled with her performance. They all sat still, mouth agape, witnessing the most magical thing they have ever seen.
>The lights slowly came back, and as Trixie returned to her normal color, white tendrils of magic danced and weaved around her. Each movement expanded them, bringing them closer and closer to the audience.
>She let loose one delicate spin and the magic began to envelop the crowd, making them a part of the performance.
>Some ponies watched as the wispy magical threads shifted around their forms.
>Others tried to make a grab at it, only to have it slip out of their grasp.
>You couldn’t help but attempt to grab it yourself once it reached you. It dodged your grasp of course, and booped you on the nose playfully.

>The entire audience has lost interest in Trixie at this point, only enamored by the beautiful vine-like strings of magic that has torn them out of their harsh reality and into a new one of magic and wonder.
>The creeping magic vines jerked. They froze as if they feared what would happen next.
>They quickly slipped back into Trixie, curling over every p0ny there before disappearing into her form once again.
>Trixie stood on the stage, looking triumphant.
>A few seconds go by before you realize it.
>That was the end.
>Oh my gosh.
>That was the end!
>Everyone seems to catch on at once as a massive applause breaks out.
>Trixie’s form deflates as she lets out a relieved sigh.
>There’s an itch in the back of your mind saying, “GOD DAMNIT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! KEEP YOU COMPOSURE 100% OF THE FUCKING TIME”
>You purge the thought immediately. The entire show was brilliant. One or two faults don’t justify another situation like before.
>A few ponies begin throwing a few bits here and there. It’s not the money rain you were hoping for.
>You’re about to go into a panic attack until you see ponies beckoning her offstage.
>Trixie produces two saddlebags seemingly from nowhere before walking off the stage to meet with her fanatical audience.
>She is instantly swarmed. You worry for her but you see the flash of gold peep through the holes in the crowd. As long as it’s bits, you’re sure she can handle it.
>You hear a gentle, but motherly chuckle to your side.
>”Hmhmm, wouldn’t you like an autograph as well?”
>You shrug.
“Nah, I spend enough time with her. I think I can do withou-“
>You turn to the pony speaking to you and choke once you see who it is.

>You are THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!
>And now you certainly feel GREAT AND POWERFUL!
>That entire performance was new. You’ve had so little time to practice those spells and it came out flawlessly.
>All these ponies simply LOVED it as well. You made sure to pay them special attention with that last one. You teased them with what they could not have. Magic, a unique reality that only exists to yourself, and of course, you.
>They’re swarming you like bees, hoping to collect the pollen that is your presence.
>The saddlebags you swung over your back are becoming heavier by the second. Every inch of your body wishes to squeal in excitement at the thought of all those bits, but you contain yourself.
>Wait, what’s that?
>Is that… Ah, yes. Who else could have a hand to wave in your direction so manically?
>Who’s that standing next to him? This stupid stallion is standing in front of your vision of it.
>You mean handsome stallion. Because he is handsome.
>… But you’re better than him. You are Trixie Lulamoon, and you don’t need no stallion!
>You push by him and squeeze through the rest of the crowd. Several try to strike up a small conversation, but you only give them one word answers.
>You’re too busy to talk! You have a face to rub in!
>You finally reach Anonymous. You look up at him, mouth open and ready to unleash a torrent of, ‘Now what’s and ‘Trixie knew she was right!’s.
>But then you see his companion.
>So does everyp0ny else.
>It falls deathly silent.
>”Erm… Trixie? I’d like you to meet a friend of mine.”
“P-P-Princess Celestia?”


>You are Anonymous. (Boy, there are a ton of perspective swaps, aren’t there?)
>And the shock of Celestia’s presence was, well… it turned everything on its head.
>The crowd grew completely silent as you introduced Trixie to Celestia.
>Trixie was silent too.
>It was a little awkward.
>The Princess would then try to excuse you and her, so you may have a little privacy.
>Yeah, well, that didn’t work.
>The crowd broke out into protests and complaints.
>Some demanded that she clean up the pollution. Others begged her to rid them of poverty.
>Then there were those who just wanted to kiss her hooves.
>Celestia’s expression was stoic but she wasn’t hiding her displeasure very well.
>You nudge her side to get her attention.
“Let’s uh… You know?”
>You gesture towards the wagon.
>Your words are drowned out by the insane mob but she understands well enough.
>Celestia takes in a deep breath of air.
>”ENOUGH!”
>The crowd grows silent.
>You thought she would do some sort of flashy thing and teleport but whatever.
>Celestia flares her mighty wings.
>The crowd parts like the red sea.
>Celestia looks to you.
>”If you would, Anonymous.”
>You’re a little intimidated by Celestia’s outburst.
“Y-Yeah…”
>You begin to walk towards Trixie’s wagon, beckoning her along as you pass by.
>She follows the Princess as the crowd comes back together behind the two of them.

>You stop the two of them at the wagon’s door.
“Trixe, could you recline the stage?”
>”Oh, um…” She looks to the Princess. She still has that cold expression on her face. “Yes… That’ll be one moment.”
>She quickly trots to the front of the wagon and tries to manually push the stage up with her hooves with no success.
>You, Celestia, and the entire crowd of ponies awkwardly stand in place as Trixie tries to pull the wagon back together without magic.
“One second, Princess…”
>You quickly walk over to Trixie.
“Need help?”
>”Please.”
>With yours and Trixie’s combined strength, you lift the stage up. Once is reclines a certain amount, some intricate magic or mechanics or whatever take over and do the rest. Seconds later, you have the old wagon back.
>The every eye was on the two of you the entire time.
>Trixie clears her throat and trots towards the wagon door, you follow.
>Trixie has lost most of her patience at this point. She opens the door for the Princess and bows as she enters. She then gets behind you and shoves you in.
>Trixie enters herself and closes the door.
>Then the crowd starts back up again.
>The three of you simultaneously let out a relieved sigh.
>You and Celestia chuckle a little.
>Trixie is just freaking out over a Princess being in her wagon.

>You offer to make tea. The Princess politely accepts and Trixie mutters something unintelligible.
>You have virtually no idea how to prepare this stuff. Rarity has walked you through it countless times but you can never get the grasp of it. Fucking coffee. You’re sure it has something to do with this.
>Princess Celestia and Trixie sit at the table behind you. Celestia frequently tries to strike up a conversation with Trixie but the most she got out of her was, “Trixie’s name is… Um, Trixie…”
>Won’t even drop the third person shit for a princess. At least she’s sticking to her guns.
>You think you finally acquired the art of making very strong tea. Good enough.
>You place the teapot and three cups on a tray and carry it to the table.
>You place it down in the middle before pouring Celestia and Trixie a cup.
>The Princess calmly thanks you before levitating the cup up to her lips.
>Trixie fumbles around with her hooves, simply refusing to use magic.
“You okay there?”
>”Hunh?”
>You begin pouring yourself a cup.
“You’re not using magic.”
>”O-Oh… Trixie gets tired after shows.”
>”That was very entertaining,” Trixie almost smashes the cup of tea between her hooves once the princess addresses her. “I haven’t seen many Unicorns with such a talent for magic.”
>Trixie begins to shake.
>”In fact, you remind me of my student, Twilight Sparkle.”
>… Oh fuck. You didn’t connect two-and-two.
>Trixie sinks into her seat. With what happened between her and Twilight, you’d want to avoid that topic like the plague when around the princess.

>The Princess goes off on a spiel about Twilight.
>”..She’s been in Ponyville for only a few years and already she has learning so much. In a recent letter, she told me she’s learned over 50 unique spells.”
>She brings her gaze down to Trixie.
>”How many spells do you know, Trixie?”
>You detect a hint of coldness to her tone.
>”Uh…” Trixie taps her hooves together.
“Princess-“
>”Four-hundred sixty two unique spells.”
>You and Princess Celestia lets your cups down with a loud, ‘CLANG’ and stare at Trixie in astonishment.
>Trixie buries her face into her own cup.
>You break the tension after a few seconds of silence.
“Sooo… Princess Celestia, what brings you to Hoofington?”
>”I like to keep a close eye on my little ponies whenever I can. I’m afraid the evening is the only time I have to do so and I still can’t always make it out this far.”
>She shakes her head a little.
>”Hoofington has… changed quite a lot.”
“Don’t worry. It’ll fix itself. Things like this always do.” You reassure her.
>”I hope you’re right.” She leans on the table like a frustrated teenager. “Did your kind ever go through something this horrible?”
“It’s uncanny how identical it is.”
>You take another sip of tea.
“It just means your society is moving forward. You’ll always hit speed bumps when it comes to progression.”
>”I suppose that’s true for everything. Like you, Anonymous.”
“Excuse me?”

>”Twilight has been keeping a close eye on you since you arrived in Equestria.”
“Uh-huh…”
>”I haven’t received a letter from her in two weeks and I find you out here? Something must have happened.”
“… Speed bump.”
>”Hmmm…”
>Amused by her own social analysis of you, she leans back in her seat.
>”Do I need weekly friendship reports from you too, Anonymous?”
“What?!”
>Celestia stifles a snicker.
>Trixie doesn’t stifle hers.
>Fucking Trollestia.
“I don’t think… I mean… I don’t really need friendship counseling.”
>She adopts a smug grin.
>”Alright, Anonymous, if you do not wish to send me friendship reports…”
>You grumble.
>”You must give me one right now.”
“… I don’t wanna.”
>”Then I’ll be sending you a magic dragon as soon as possible.”
“No, no, wait, no, just… Fine.”
>You twiddle your thumbs while you try to come up with some bullshit answer.
“What I learned about… friendship was… Even though your friends…”
>Fuck, what are you going on about?
“Um… Even though your friends don’t like what you’re doing… They’re still your friends… Yeah.”
>”… Anything else?”
“Uh… Yeah. Through disagreements and fighting… you grow stronger by the end?”
>What.
>”…”
“And if you follow your… not dreams. Ummm… Instincts? Or… something. You may…”
>You turn to Trixie.
“… Make new friends?”
>Celestia raises an eyebrow. Her bullshit meter must be off the charts.
>”I’ll allow you a pass, for now.”
>Yesssssssssss
>”But, I expect a better report the next time we meet, Anonymous.”
>Fuck.
“Yes, Princess.”
>You flick your cup like a pouty schoolgirl.
“Wait, are you leaving already?”

>She softly sighs as she pushes her seat back.
>”I must. I cannot oversee my Equestria and the ponies in it from an admittedly impressive wagon.”
>She begins to trot towards the exit.
>”That, and the press loves to hear about how exciting it is to fly over grasslands and sleeping cities”
>She rolls her eyes.
>”Tonight was absolutely more interesting, thanks to you, Trixie.”
>Trixie is paralyzed at this point.
“… It was. It was! Celestia!”
>She is startled by your outburst.
>”… Yes, Anonymous?”
>You saunter over to her.
”You’re right! Those frequent press interviews must be as boring as flying over Equestria itself.”
>”I never said-“
“And Trixie livened it up for you? How often does that happen?”
>”… Not often.”
“Yes! And your undoubted excitement would surely translate well enough, during one of those interviews.”
>Yes, you’ve got this! This is going to be huge, this will be-
>”I know what you’re doing, Anonymous.”
>Aaaahh, shit.
>”Try a little more subtlety next time.”
>You shrug.
“It was worth a shot, I suppose.”
>Celestia lightly chuckles.
>”Don’t get down, you hit your target.”
“What do you me—Oh!”
>She bumps her hips into your side.
“Uhh… Thanks!”
>”Mmmm, it’s been a pleasure. The both of you.”
>Trixie finally speaks up.
>[spoiler]Y-You too…[/spoiler]
>Celestia opens the door.
>”Oh… hello.”

>There stand the nameless mare and stallion.
>They don’t look phased by the princess standing in front of them.
>”Evening, Princess. We’re here to talk with Trixie.”
>”So formal, unlike a certain human.”
>You feel the smallest pang of guilt.
>Yeah, you’re a little too casual with the princess. She honestly doesn’t act like much of a princess unless she needs to. Until the time comes, it’s only a title.
>The Princess steps aside, letting the two ponies in before stepping out herself. With one mighty flap of her wings, she takes to the skies once more.
>The stallion approaches Trixie at the table.
>The mare plops her flank down next to you.
>You take a few steps away.
>She takes a few steps closer.
>Damnit.
>While you and this mare play a game of cat and mouse, Trixie and the stallion discuss the payment issue.
>”Trixie, I assume you have the money for us?”
>Trixie’s confidence and composure returns in an instant.
>”Hmph! You doubted Trixie?”
>”…”
>Trixie grasps the saddlebags, still on her back, in her teeth, and flings it onto the table.
>The stallion smiles.
>”Starstruck, get over here.”
“Starstruck?”
>You say to the pony awkwardly leaning up against you
“That’s a cute name.”
>She brings a heavy hoof to the back of your head.
>You’re not sure what happened next. You just remember Starstruck and the Mr. Mystery leaving with many more bits than you’d like them to.
>You push yourself off the floor with a groan.
“Well? How fucking broke are we now?”
>You take one step forward and freeze.

>Holy FUCK that’s a lot of bits!
>Are you drooling? Do people actually do that when they see so much money?
>Who cares? Money!
>The pile is not King Midus’ private stock, per say, but it’s so much more than you expected!
“How much?”
>Trixie snorts.
“Don’t play with me,”
>You take a seat next to her.
“How much?”
>”Trixie has just under two-hundred to spare!” She throws her forehooves into the air.  “Tommorrow, she goes sho-“
“Nope.”
>She looks at you like you just killed her dog.
“First, we need to take what we need for our expenses.”
>You grab a handful of bits, not the right amount, just enough for a demonstration, and move it off to the side.
“Then we take my cut”
>Trixie hisses as you pull away a sizeable chunk.
“Then we’re left with your cut.”
>Trixie slouches a little when she sees her still large pile.
“Look at it this way; if we make this much in one show again, we’re both going to be much wealthier.”
>Trixie begins to grin uncontrollably.
“So long as we don’t fall behind on payments again.”
>”Ugh, you always kill the mood.”
>You laugh for a moment before reassuring her.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to let that happen.”
>You tuck your hands under the table. Option A. Be a shithead. Option B. Admit to being a shithead.
>Bleh, B it is.
“Hey… I’m sorry about everything I said today.”
>She crosses her forelegs and looks to the other direction.
>”… Did you mean it?”
“No. Absolutely not, I was just mad for no good-“
>She snaps her eyes in your direction.
>”Not that! The… Thing. The thing you said to the princess?”
“… Could you clarify?”

>”The… Report or something, Trixie forgets…”
“Friendship report? Hah, I kinda bullshitted that but there’s a bit of truth behind everything I said.”
>”Hmph.”
>Again with the ‘Hmph’s!
>”Fine, you are forgiven.”
>You sigh in relief.
“Thank you, I-“
>”All of it! You’re sure you’re honest about all of it!?”
“Yeah, like I said. Every word!”
>”… Very well.” She slides off her seat. “Trixie is exhausted from her performance and requires rest. You do… Your thing.”
>You give her a playful salute.
>She slowly walks over to her wagon as you begin counting the bits. This should take no less than a half-hour. You’ll just get it done tonight.
>You hear Trixie’s door open.
>It remains open for a while.
>”Anonymous?”
“Mmhmm?”
>Gah, you’re in work mode. Go to bed, Trixie.
>”Um… Goodnight.”
“Night, Trixie.”
>Her door quickly shuts after that.
>You swear you hear an excited titter from the other side.
>You pay it no mind as you continue counting the bits.
“Fuck, lost count…”