[2:53 AM]
BeatlesFan:
	It's kinda hard for me to keep on going

[2:54 AM]
J☢shArizona!@LizardPeople.gov:
	stop drinnking
	this happens everytime

[2:54 AM]
BeatlesFan:
	It's not that--I generally feel that way
	I know
	Because that is how I always am
	Tomorrow I will be sober, and the masked facade will continue
	and no one will be any the wiser
	It's nice to not have to live that life under a mask

[2:56 AM]
J☢shArizona!@LizardPeople.gov:
	tak your medicine
	you have it for a reason

[2:56 AM]
BeatlesFan:
	Yeah, I do
	And I'm still miserable

[2:56 AM]
J☢shArizona!@LizardPeople.gov:
	less so
	you sid it yourself
	and you said you weree purposely not taking it so you would be more miserable
	which makes no goddamn sense
	just take you goddamn medicine

[2:57 AM]
BeatlesFan:
	It's because I want to die
	It's as simple as that

[2:57 AM]
J☢shArizona!@LizardPeople.gov:
	do you want my help or not?
	take your meds

[2:58 AM]
BeatlesFan:
	Truthfully, I don't want anyone's help.  I just want to make my passing as painless as possible for everyone else...simply because that is the only reason I keep myself alive.

[2:59 AM]
J☢shArizona!@LizardPeople.gov:
	for someone wh odoesnt want help you sure do ask for it a lot
	just take your meds

[2:59 AM]
BeatlesFan:
	Hey, that's just the self-preservation talking
	Eventually that will fail at some point
	and I will be glad of it

[3:00 AM]
J☢shArizona!@LizardPeople.gov:
	go to sleep
	take your meds in the morning
	and stop drinking

[3:01 AM]
BeatlesFan:
	I will go to sleep soon
	but I will not take my meds in the morning
	and I will lie to you to make it feel a little bit easier

[3:02 AM]
J☢shArizona!@LizardPeople.gov:
	cut the fucking melodrama
	you dont liek feelign miserable
	you complain abotu feelign miserable
	you admit your meds make you feel better
	take them for fuck sake

[3:13 AM]
BeatlesFan:
	How dare you call me melodramatic.  I've felt this way for years.  Everyday I have to ask myself whether life is worth living, and for the past few years, it hasn't.  I have to deal with my friends and family admit to me that I have lost a lot of cognitive ability.  I always admired that, regardless of how bad things became, I would still feel good about my mental intellect.  I feel I can't even feel that.  I can't feel anything.  Yes, I'm great at wearing a fucking mask of happiness and never showing any true problems.  Yes, I drink too much to overcompensate for my lack of total emotional connection with life.  Yes, I do I lot of self deprecating things that make me feel worse of in the end.  However, I have felt this for a long time.  I feel that I have lost connection with the person behind the mask of happiness.  I feel that I have become what I hate.  Don't call me melodramatic.  I actually want to die.  I made this decision while on antidepressants.  I don't want to take these medications so others can be happy.  I want o be happy about myself.  I haven't ever had that.  Yes, I may be psychotic.  I may be crazy.  My death will be my own decision.  I will not waste my time in this crazy world that has not even given me a chance.  I will not be just another person living for the sake of people around me.  My death is mine alone.  I will make it happen, although it will not be today or tomorrow, but it will happen.

[3:16 AM]
J☢shArizona!@LizardPeople.gov:
	take your meds

[3:16 AM]
BeatlesFan:
	I refuse.   This conversation is meaningless.