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- >Hungry in Equestria.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60rxzfl3NZc
- >The day is a bright and sunny one.
- >You're just taking a walk through the town.
- >As you stroll down the path along the outskirts of town, a wonderful smell enters your nose.
- >You follow it to a tiny cottage on a hill.
- >Peer inside from the open window and see Fluttershy just putting down a cooked fish on a table.
- >She smiles afterwards.
- >"Time for a relaxing bubblebath."
- >You watch as she flies up the stairs.
- >Look back to the cooked fish.
- >Oh god you haven't had meat in nearly a year now.
- >You've gotta have that!
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g64Y6rMO4OM
- >Slowly open the door and walk inside quietly.
- >On accident you kick a ball.
- >You instantly freeze.
- >The ball rolls under the table there and across the room, smacking against the wall.
- >Do a head swivel.
- >No one heard.
- >Cool.
- >Creep all the way over to the table and look down at the scrumptious salmon laying on that plate.
- >It's cooked to perfection.
- >The smell is so amazing...
- >You pick the plate up and close your eyes as you smell it.
- >Suddenly something grabs hold of your leg.
- >Its teeth bite down on your leg.
- >You supress a scream and put the plate down to look at your attacker.
- >It's Fluttershy's bunny.
- >What was his name again?
- >Jeff?
- "Hey Jeff. Just uh... Just dropping in to say hello."
- >He growls.
- "No no no shush! You don't want me to get in trouble do you pal?"
- >Offer him your hand to shake in truce.
- >He jumps up and bites your finger.
- >...
- >You sit outside of the house looking in from the window with a bandaged pointer finger.
- >He may have got you that time, but you're not giving up.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzDfXUQ8vD8
- >All you have to do is get it without going in there.
- >Or be sneaky about it.
- >Jeff walks around the table as if he's guarding it.
- >Hmmm...
- >You search around where you are crouching.
- >Then you see a long stick.
- >It gives you an idea.
- >...
- >You've gathered a lot of long sticks and stuck them together with sap from a tree.
- >Now you have a way of getting the fish without going inside!
- >Slowly and steady wins the meat...
- >You begin moving the long stick through the house.
- >Jeff hasn't noticed yet.
- >Continue pushing it in further and further until it rests on the table.
- >Perfect!
- >Jeff stops and looks your way.
- >OH NO YOU'VE BEEN DISCOVERED ABORT MIS-
- >He sneezes and then continues circling.
- >Whew.
- >You slide the stick slowly across the table.
- >Then stab the fish with it and then start walking backwards to bring it out.
- >Because you're on a hill, you walk down the hill with the stick.
- >Oh man, you can already taste that delicious looking salmon...
- >The stick comes all the way out and lands in a bush.
- >You run over to the end of the stick and pick it up ready to dig into some meat.
- >Jeff is there holding onto the end of the stick.
- >He jumps at your face and begins to bite the shit out of your nose.
- >...
- >You sit outside of the house looking in through the window with a few bandages on your face.
- >That fucking bunny tricked you.
- >No one tricks you.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOZu3NiBjBk
- >So not going in there isn't an option...
- >Jeff is standing on the table right next to the plate.
- >He doesn't look like he'll be going anywhere soon.
- >Hmm...
- >You need some kind of distraction.
- >Carrots!
- >Bunnies love carrots!
- >Good thing you brought one as a snack!
- >Now how to do this...
- >...
- >You open the door with the carrot attached to a rope hanging in the doorway.
- >Then whistle and run around the side of the house.
- >When you get to the back door, you see that your bait has worked and Jeff is now eating the carrot.
- >Perfect.
- >Slip inside from the back door and approach the plate quietly.
- >Before he can see you take the plate and rush back outside.
- >Sit down in the field behind her house and get ready to dig in.
- >Oh god it's gonna be so good.
- >But then you remember that you're wearing your good suit.
- >Put the plate to the side and take off the top to your suit.
- >Then pick the plate back up and grab the fish.
- >Tear a chunk out with your teeth and begin chewing.
- >Chew a little bit more and then you look down at the fish in confusion.
- >...IT'S NOT EVEN COOKED!
- >Spit out the raw meat onto the grass and turn back to the house.
- >Jeff laughs as he holds the cooked fish above himself.
- >Then he goes inside and shuts the door.
- >This.
- >Means.
- >War.
- >...
- >You are outside of the house looking through the window for the third time today.
- >If this doesn't work nothing will.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHyc9B1aj1I
- >You put on your disguise which consists of a mask and a wig.
- >Knock on the door.
- >Jeff answers it and you walk inside.
- "Hello sir I see that you have a cooked fish there."
- >He raises an eyebrow.
- "Allow me to introduce myzelf, I am Nona, ze National fish inzpector."
- >He nods.
- "I'm here to inzpect ze fish you have zere on zat plate."
- >While giving you a strange look, he leads you over to the fish.
- >This is all going just according to plan.
- >You are now right in front of your goal.
- >And damn does it smell great.
- >Jeff stands on the table and you make sure to watch him just as much as he's watching you.
- "I will need to take ze fish outside to... Examine it in ze light. Iz zis okay with you?"
- >He narrows his eyes at you.
- "Alright then. You can just have a ruined piece of meat able to poizon anyone who conzumes it."
- >His stare relaxes and then he nods, handing the plate to you.
- >Take it from him and head out back.
- >Lift up the mask and hold the fish up to your mouth.
- >A sudden jerk makes you drop it.
- >Look to your left and see Jeff there growling.
- >THE JIG IS UP!
- >He lunges at you fangs first, slicing off a piece of the rubber mask as well as your face.
- >Before he can further injure you, you manage to escape him.
- >...
- >Now you sit outside of the house looking in through the window.
- >Fluttershy comes down the stairs and goes out the back door.
- >"HARRY! DINNER'S READY!"
- >A few seconds later a bear comes running into the house and sits at the table.
- >What's the point in watching now?
- >You roll over and put your back against the door.
- >It would just be torture to watch him eat the thing you've strived so hard to get.
- >Suddenly the fish comes flying through the window and lands on your lap.
- >IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!
- >Quickly pick it up and take a huge bite into it.
- >It's!
- >It's!
- >AWFUL!
- >You spit it out and then look down at it.
- >It is covered in grass, there are pieces of bunny hair in it, and some rubber seems to have snuck its way into the thing's fin.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sz3rntUfsW8&t=2m10s
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