Jump 357: Umineko, The Rokkenjima Catbox

Jump #357: Umineko, The Rokkenjima Catbox
>Two of Pentacles (Change): Taking two steps forward for every one step back.
>Location: ???
>Alignment: Human
>Bonus: (+400) Survived the Gauntlet
If only barely.
>Magic (Free)
Oh, good, my abilities are here this time around. Though I think I'll have to fight the temptation to skewer the witches on the Black Blade. Still, the local magic IS rather interesting.
>Turning The Chessboard Around (Free, Human)
It's certainly useful to be able to figure out what my opponent is planning, but that requires me to know their goals. Not always useful.
>Black Truth (200)
Not certain how often I'm going to use this here, but it does sound particularly helpful. Especially if I end up in any of the more malicious variations on the story.
>Illusions to Illusions, Dust to Dust (0)
This is useful. It's not enough to have the mere facts of the matter - you've got to know the motives behind it all. It's a rare person that will do something for no reason at all.
>The Great Detective Knows Best (Upgrade)
If I'm going to be stuck here, then it's important that I be able to find my way out. Just because I'm working with the redhead doesn't mean I'm subordinate to him.
>Why Are Closed Room Murders So Beautiful? (Upgrade)
Ah, magic. Certainly at this point the magic is much more esoteric than it otherwise might be, but there is always the unexplained in life. Calling it magic, though... is it, truly?

Have you ever closed your eyes and felt yourself drifting to sleep, only to be startled awake by what sounds like an explosion... only to open your eyes and find everything safe and sound?

That's how it began.

And as to how it went? Scenario after scenario, again and again, with details changed here and there. Sometimes slight. Sometimes major.

And it kept on. Over and over. After a while, even I lost count of how many different permutations I experienced, until I'd finally just had enough. Instead of playing along, I elected to completely derail the scenario, walking away from the mansion in the morning and taking a swim to the mainland. They aborted it a moment before I stepped foot on shore.

It seemed that got the witches' attention.

"I'm tired," I told them. "You've kept me here for lifetimes of this, and I've nothing to show for it."

Mocking laughter answered me.

"No, I'm sick of this. You've got a nice little pocket world where nothing can be certain until it's conclusively proven or disproven - and incidentally, that's not how the experiment was to work, so as far as I'm concerned this catbox is just full of kitty litter. I'm tired of all of this tiptoeing around. There will always be things in the world that you can't explain. Maybe it's magic, maybe it's not, but ultimately it's irrelevant. All of these shadow plays are pointless - they are not what happened that night on the island, and they never will be. No one used magic on the island, what happened boiled down to superstition, fear, and jealousy."

The mocking laughter had a harsh edge to it, but before either side could say anything, I continued speaking. "You know, the only reason I'm here is because someone once said that I should look to this island to understand how things were between myself and them. I look here and all I see are witches playing the what-if game, dwelling constantly on the past and refusing to advance. Look to the past and you blind yourself to the present. Enough with the games, for the love of god. Speak plainly. Speak the truth. Otherwise everything is empty. Words. Deeds. You'll keep missing the point endlessly. Personally, I'm happy to accept that there are things I can't understand, but it's a fool's errand to claim magic excuses everything that goes on when you aren't looking."

I glanced at the red-haired man beside me, then the witches across from us. "And yet you keep stopping short of a proper ending, eh? It's as though you are afraid. And what has witches such as yourselves to fear? Small bombs?"

Tittering laughter from the witches, and a disgruntled noise from the man beside me.

"Or perhaps the dawning realization that we're all just figments of this guy's imagination while he tries to figure out what happened before he washed up on the shore, half-dead?"

The silence was suddenly deafening. And I turned to the red headed man beside me.

"I'm done being the figment of your imagination, Hachijo. I'll not ignore the truth of where we are. Why assume there are, indeed, witches at all? The point of everything we've done... it is not about understanding what happened. It's not possible to understand, no matter how many times you ask what might have happened when you weren't about. It's about accepting that it happened, whether you know how it came about or not... and letting go."

I placed my hand on his shoulder. "And I'm sorry, but it is time to let go. It does not matter how you've come to this point in your life. There is nothing that can change what has happened, no matter how many other paths things could have gone, if they all lead to this point they become irrelevant. All you can do is move forward and enjoy the present, while looking to the future."

And so there was a tea party with the witches and everyone on the island.

「Tea Party ending」 unlocked!

Because it seems that the whole thing was just some half-drowned idiot's novella about what happened. Apparently, I had the role of the id, while he was the ego. But when your instincts tell you to just stop dwelling on your grief and live your life... eventually, you can't help but listen.

GUESS WHAT, UMINEKO, I CAN DO THE "IT WAS ALL A DREAM" ENDING TOO! Fuck you very much. I'm never getting those hours of my life back.

(And after the tea party we had one last round where Battler and Beatrice actually took my words to heart, got the heck over themselves, and actually said what they meant to say, despite other witches trying to sabotage them and give them an impossible scenario.)

(Whether it was a tea party or the actual ending, I still got through the catbox. Whether the witches believe what I said or not is immaterial. I don't care enough to go for the golden ending, just any god damned ending so I can get out before I start going axe crazy on the witches.)