from the A Friendly Orc's Daily Life videos

so, I was watching A video of "A Friendly Orc's Daily Life" from Starbot Dubs and this Comment is gold. it's from Cavare Envius, I am going to share it.
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Ork: "And then she left her panties on my nightstand before leaving my home."

Troll: "Ewwww. What is wrong with her?"

Ork:" I have no idea. I had to use tongs to remove it. Burned it with the nightstand in the garden....i even throw the tongs in the fire to be sure"

Goblin: "Those Fey are sick. Just recently i made myself a cup of tea. I just went for a moment in the pantry to get some sugar and when i returned there was a Pixie in my tea.
She insisted that i drink her BATHING WATER. Throw her out the window with the whole cup... it was my favorite cup. My Granny made it for me....not that i would be able to drink from it ever again after what happened to it."

Troll: "Some people have no decency"
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Gnoll : you guys are lucky . This fairy keeps on peeing in my beer and it is annoying my dog
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Goblin: trust me dude, fairy’s are crazy, i got a group of them i keep trying to get out of my home, their like an infestation dude, they keep trying to get off on my gold pile, you dunno how often i have to wash that gold.
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man i have to keep my food away from them or they put on there juices gross And they have storys about them being the good guys and we are the bad guys
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Goblin 2: Right!!!
I just want to tend to me urbs to Sell!!
But instead, I get jumped by some adventures because a fairy told 'em I was a bad thing!!! (basterds)
Had to run, else the fairies get me while 'm knocked-out.
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the human children are scared of us
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Goblin 2: I know. (it's bad enough as it is.)
They see us as monster, so of course the be scared. (what kinds of stories do they tell these kids?)
Problem is, once they see you, there gonna start crying. You've better be good at hiding.(it sure helps.)
Don't know what the adults would weild to defend the kin.
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what's your name
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Makalo: The names Makalo.
And yours?
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snarlmane
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I cant get the smell of elf outta my padio furniture,its horrible
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Dragon: Hmph you guys have it easy...anytime I find a place to sleep a bunch of these jerks in armor barging saying some nonsense about me having a princess captive or to surrender my treasure! WHY WOULD I KIDNAP A PRINCESS?! My mate would kill me. and treasure? Well unless you consider my size changing mug that I can hold in my dragon form a treasure, I got none of that. Other times a princess comes to my lair and tells me to "devour her purity" yeah I flew away immediately...and my mate heard about that.
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Cerberus: Me just want head pat's and to be called good boy
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Gnoll: good boy
also why nobody blames the harpys for rape
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bro don't get me started I had this really dope fishing spot that was hidden in the woods then out of nowhere 3 mermaids showed up and started calling it a sacred spring when I came back then was like hundreds of hippie elves just skinny-dipping and and leaving their trash wherever they please and they scared away all the fish, I tells ya some people just have no respect for us orcs. I'm a FISHERMAN for crying out loud how am I supposed to support myself now!!!
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Hobgoblin: I can feel you, my brother was almost killed when he was marrying his now wife. They had a play going on and then suddenly a couple of those rust buckets came over and destroyed the wedding, it was a horrible mess to clean up.
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And you wonder why ogre live alone in swamps
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Vampire: "Don't get me started with all the movies, books, and TV shows that the humans make about us all. Apparently, in these entertainment mediums, we vampires are either simps who sparkle in the sunlight, or bloodthirsty monsters."
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Skeleton: You know, I’ll tell you guys that those damn gnomes are more annoying... they keep pouring milk on me! MILK! I can’t even drink or eat... and yet every time time they do this I have to clean on my necromancer’s floor! Damn gnomes..
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Weretiger: Don't get me started with people wanting to rid the whole curse bit. Yea it has its benefits but Oh... when you tell them you are a were beast, they get mad or something and Next thing I see is a cavalry of pompous rusty armor claded "heroes" paladins who are washed up most likely. Wanting to rid the lad of all lycantrops or something, at my house! The nerve, they even broke my damn brick fence wall. They didn't go quietly. Long story short, a group of adventurers were after these paladins.  They got some massive bounty on their heads. The paladins called themselves the murder hobos! Hah!!! Dumb name right? Anyway I ended up helping those adventurers and got a cut of the bounty. Paid off the damages to my place and fix the wall too. They wanted me to join them. But I said not now. A retired hunter like me needs his peace. Ain't gonna take up that mantle anymore. Unless....... nah.
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Vampire: "You have my complete and unadulterated sympathies. If you'd like, how about coming over to my birthday celebration tonight? We have rare steak tartare, blood sausages, and enough surf & turf to sate one's appetite. If you're inclined, do bring garlic. The humans would be less suspicious of me that way."
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Skeleton: Wait, wait, wait, did you just mention 'murderhobos'? You don't mean THOSE type, right?
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weretiger: heh, yup. But these murder hobos aren't good at being paladins. They yell words that would kill in a second but all I heard was a poof and nothing. They went down fast. And I mentioned fast. As for the invite, maybe.
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Slime: "You're all just normal. Some humans and elvens are killing us is fine, but some other are seeking us and say: "Release your tentacles and **** with me." then sitting on me without wearing a panties! I'm a slime, not an octopus, who said we have tentacles???"
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Vampire: "...Wow. You've got it worse than I have. Here, let me place an order for whatever you'd like to consume. It's on the house."
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Slime: "Did you have any paper towel? I would like to use it for wiping my tears from my non-existence eyes."
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Vampire: Goes through the physical efforts neccessary to accomplish this task.
"Here you go."
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Slime: "Thank bud." Start to rolling on paper towel
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Vampire: Smiles warmly while taking a bite of the shrimp scampi before him.
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Demon King: "How I can start this? My job is controlling the Demon clan, and to wait for the Hero to came and we fight each other, then the Hero win, like how this world is scripted. But, unfortunately, the Hero is a female, and like always come to me like: "Oh Demon King, I shall defeat you, to bring peace for our humans.". And then, when I defeated her, she said: "Curse you, Demon King, you can have my body, but not my soul." and do a lewd pose. Of course, I always kick her ass out of my castle, my place are dark but not that dark and dirty like that. Just 30 minutes ago, she just came and do like what we always do. I'm so sick and wanted to move out of the castle I swear."
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Vampire: "I've heard of it. As a former human, I can testify that some of us have hyperactive imaginations at times. That trait gets weaved into tall tales and fiction alike in most of their culture. Can't help themselves. They find the unknown to be fascinating, or frightening."
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Slime: "About the Hero...are you sure she is the Hero? If that's the case, I'm a bit horrified, as my family, mostly my twins, my twins of my twins, my twins of my twins of my twins, etc, you get the point, are about to moving to your castle."
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Local demon maid: i get it dude,you have no idea how much damage those "heroes" cause in the halls,i have to clean up ALL of it-and she keeps COMING FROM THE WINDOW THAT I LOCKED,SHE KEEPS BREAKING THEM.
On that note do be careful of the future glass shard-
crash
Fck she got in again.
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Demon King: "Ok, I will get her out of this castle. Can you clean this up, I will get diamonds for all the window in this castle, and put a sign to make her enter by the front door. And also, Slime, don't worry, I will ask the maid to setup the basement for you to live, your family could live in there, we will keep you safe out of those dirty elvens and humans."
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Vampire: Raises a shot glass of Irish whiskey in the air.
"Huzzah, Demon King. Huzzah."
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A mimic that is a suit of armor: wow, and i thought i had it bad when i was just a chest and adventures would want me to do "stuff with them, or some of them would scream "MIMIC!" Only to then get shot in the face by a skeleton bowman when They tried to attack me. The whole reason i became a suit of armor, also a free meal when someone puts me on while im dormant.
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Vampire: "...Just to sate my curiosity, what's the style of your armor? First I've seen of it."
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Mimic suit: well, you've probably seen the suits in the Old King's dungeon or some concepts in that one artificer group called... Pinterest?
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Mimic suit: ah, an old Winter Knight; it's very fluffy and stylish.
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Weretiger: Looks at phone message Hmm.... Yharnam got some new fresh batch of hunters, and looks like the "kid" introduced them to Djura. HMMM 50% off blood vials and Hunter of hunter recruiting. So, any werewolf been to Yharnam yet? Place got cleaned up ages ago... still reeks of  blood starved lunatics.
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Vampire: "...I'd advise you not to go there. Unless you've got an incurable illness, and desperate for their church's cure, avoid Yharnam. If they still need hunters, and still give out blood vials, that place truly hasn't been cleaned up as they say. Besides, I knew a man who went there to get Yharnam's cure, a long time ago. He still hasn't returned. Who knows what had happened to him."
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weretiger: Weird..... I was just at it a month ago seeing an old acquaintance... guess something happened. Perhaps that explains why I lost Contact with my messenger.