Jump 026: Xena/Hercules - The Legendary Journeys

Jump 026: Xena/Hercules - The Legendary Journeys

Location: Corinth
Age: 16
Identity: [-200] Demigod
Drawbacks: [+900] Young Jumper, To The Fairest

[200/1700]  Beneath Notice
[400/1700]  This Kills The Adventurer
[1000/1700] To Hades And Back
[Free]      Epic Pecs
[1200/1700] Foot In The Door
[1500/1700] Worthy Of Legend
[1650/1700] Hind-Blood Dagger

You know, this is like some kind of a weird mirror back on what I got used to a very, VERY long time ago, back in old Greece. On the plus side, the things humanity faces here include less existential threats, but on the minus side the gods are a lot more active here and are actual divinities. And dickish. And somehow, being of godly descent (but definitely not Zeus' progeny) I end up having to deal with a lot of the dickishness.

Being a hero in training is weird, too, but that certainly didn't save me from any of the dickishness that I had to deal with. This is like being back on the island, except I'm on more even ground overall - it's easier to deal with arrows being shot at you than bullets, for instance.

Having random monsters thrown at you because the gods are cheesed off, however, or having natural disasters occur because the wrong deity decided to be offended at you? That's more a problem. But apparently that sort of thing counts for extra credit at the academy, so... I guess there's that?

On the plus side, I managed to piss off a few goddesses at one point; Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena went 'give a golden apple to whichever of us you find most appealing'.

"A challenge that no mortal man could best! You brought me here just to haze me, didn't you, Hermes?"
>"Maybe."
"Hey, Hera, long time no see. Thanks for not dropping that meteor on my head oh wait you did."
>"That's beside the point! If you judge me fairest, I'll make you the king of all men."
"Pretty sure that's Alexander of Macedon's schtick, but he's not around yet. What about you, Athena, are you going to try to bribe me too?"
>"If you judge ME fairest, I'll ensure you win victory in every battle!"
"Huh. Tempting. But victory unearned? Surely you can see the wisdom in not wanting to pursue that."
>"Then clearly you think I'M fairest - I shall grant you the hand of any woman you want!"
"Ladies, ladies, please! Two at a time."
>"WHAT."
"Well I mean you're married, Hera, so-"
>"YOU DARE."
"Sure. I mean, why wouldn't I? Were it not for my respect of the sanctity of marriage, I'd say three at a time, because how could I choose between you?"
>"But you must!"
"No I mustn't."
>"... yes, yes you must."
"Okay, in that case, hold on a second. ... Here, one golden apple for each of you."
>"What"
"Everyone's lovely, but there's not enough to go around, so I'll keep this one and everyone gets one of my golden apples instead! Except Hermes. He's a jerk."

This, predictably, devolved into a royal shitstorm and I was chased around by a cyclone for the better part of a week after that.

Ah, we had fun.