13 trips final part

“Oh,” said the Doctor, looking extremely disappointed. After a moment, she looked back up at Mongo. “So, are you always so tall?”

“No. I'm going to devour the trips, and end them,” said Mongo.

“That sounds mean,” said the Doctor, wagging her finger. “Bad mongo. Nyah!”

“You cannot stop me!” said Mongo.

The Doctor shrugged, then she pulled out her sonic screwdriver, and pressed a button on its side. Mongo was suddenly frozen in mid-step. The Doctor gave a satisfied hum at her handiwork, and turned to the trips, grinning even wider.

“So, are you guys gonna close your mouths?” she asked.

“Jennashocked,” said Amadiana.

“Doctor...how can you exist? How can you be actually a real thing?” said Starfu. She scanned the Doctor's mind, and saw that, yep, this was an actual Time Lord.

“Well, where do you think they get the ideas from? I met Verity Lambert, by the way.”

“Doctor, I didn't mean to cause all this,” said Cats.

The Doctor walked over and hugged Cats. He seemed surprised to be hugged by someone who wasn't even thought to be real a few days ago. The Doctor tousled his hair, and said “Everyone makes mistakes. At least you're taking responsibility for yours.”

“Do I get a hug?” said Edge.

The Doctor glared at Edge, and grabbed him. Her formerly grinning face looked very angry. “Why didn't you call me?”

Edge scratched his blue hair, rather confused. “I've never met you before.”

“Obviously not. You meet me in your future. But I'm still angry at you. You just left me. And I gave so much of myself to you! I mean, I understood you had needs! The usual physical urges aren't exactly my top priority in life, but I like you, so it was okay. I even transformed into David Tennant's form for you, when I regenerated! Because you kept on begging me too! And we had some good days...and not unpleasant nights.” said the Doctor, smiling.

“So why did you leave?” asked Cats.

“Because YOU left me after I died. It wasn't my fault I didn't come back as Tennant! As soon as I turned into a blonde woman with a bit of a nose, you coincidentally left. No call back. You used me! Am I just a slut to you? A Tennant-shaped piece of meat? Am I?”

“Um...no?”

“Good. So call me! In the future. After you leave, call me back….what are the rest of you looking at?”

The other /who/ Lords were quietly looking at this display. Neo was scratching his head, while Cats was desperately trying not to laugh. Edge's face was growing redder.

Mongo moaned in the background.

“Oh right. I have to save the day,” said the Doctor off-handedly, apparently having forgotten the world-ending danger behind her. She held out her left hand, a small strand of Cats's hair hanging off it. She pointed her screwdriver at Mongo, and pressed a button. Mongo began to move again. Before Mongo could attack the trips, the Doctor threw the hair into Mongo's face.

Mongo's body began to glow a bright red. It screeched, and Starfu could see the creature's antitimeline being healed by Cats' biodata.

“What did you do?” asked Neo.

The Doctor raised up a hand, to shush him. Mongo began to twist and turn, roaring as its form began to bubble outward.

“I've made the poor creature whole again. All it ever wanted,” said the Doctor wistfully.

The monster transformed into a bright shine of light, and then disappeared.

“Mongo thought it was bringing a vengeance upon your kind. But it never would have stopped at you. It needed biodata to make itself. I gave it the biodata of Cats, the freshest version of itself. That pure biodata negated Mongo's lack of biodata, and combined with a shock of energy, created enough heat to end its temporal signature. In short, Mongo has been wiped from history...for now. Mongo thought it was a saviour, but Mongo was only a pawn in the game of life. Like we all are,” said the Doctor.

The world began to glow. Even the sand underneath their feet warmed up.

“I think this place is destroying itself. I think we should go,” said the Doctor. “Into my TARDIS!”


So, five days later, Gina heard a knock on her door. And then 13 Time Lords came in. As well as that woman from Broadchurch (who Gina later learned was apparently the Doctor).

“So, we're all the same person?” said Cats.

“Yes,” said the Doctor.

“You know what's weird? I can remember now!” said Neo. “I mean, I can remember being Cloister. And being Cats. And all the others before me. The details are a blur, but I generally remember it.”

“That makes sense. Your timelines are healing. You'll never remember everything, but some of your past regenerations' lives will return to your mind,” said the Doctor. She was playing with Edge's pussy, who was chasng a ball of yarn the Doctor was twirling around.

“Jennahappy! So, what happens next?” said Amadiana.

“Your choice. I have to go to Rome to pick up a friend of mine. I only stopped over because the Jovian Guardians tipped me off to Immigrant's attack from Mongo,” said the Doctor. She bit her nails, thinking. “I probably should get going.”

“Wait! You're the real Doctor?” said Cloister, who was sitting away from Belle. Neither had talked to each other since realizing who they was.

“The original, you might say.”

“Well then, answer some questions first!” said Starfu.

The Doctor rubbed the tabby, and then looked up with wide eyes. Her face stretched into an impossible grin, and she shrugged.

“Okay. Ask away. Keep it short. But no Dalek questions. I don't like thinking about them,” said the Doctor.

“Classic or NuWho?” asked Edge.

“Wilderness era.”

“Is Susan real?”

“Yes.”
“Did you give Verity the idea for the show?”

“Sort of. She had a similar idea already, and I just nudged her a bit. Wonderful woman,” said the Doctor.

“Have you seen the show, actually?”

“Dear, I've played in the show three seperate times. And I will never tell you who.”

“Is Clara real?”

The Doctor grinned, and snapped her fingers, turning into Jenna Coleman's form. She pointed at her face, winked, and transformed back.

“Is Sarah Jane real?”

“No. But Elisabeth Sladen traveled in my TARDIS for several years. I miss her greatly.”

“Is Tom Baker a Time Lord?”

“I've never met him, but I suspect he's just the most alien human in existence,” said the Doctor.

“Daleks--”

“I told you not to ask me about that,” asked the Doctor, her human form slipping for a moment, and a mass of angry biodata writhing underneath, exposed for a moment. Then it passed, and she was back to a human form.

“Okay. Um, is Faction Paradox real?” asked N8.

“I could answer you, but that would defy the point, no?”

“River Song doesn't exist, right?”

“Not only does she exist, she helped make Series 6. Not sure how, or why,” said the Doctor.

“Amy Pond?”

“A real woman, who apparently is in my future.”

“Ian and Barbara?”

“They existed, except it was in the 70s. And Barbara was black.”

“That sounds like you're trolling.”

“I'm always trolling.”

“How many times have you lied so far?”

“20.”

“You haven't given twenty answers yet.”

“Next question?”

“Second favorite episode of Who?”

“Can't tell you. It hasn't been made yet. You're gonna love it.”

“Third favorite?”

“Kill the Moon. Daft science, but it got what I want for humanity better than any other episode I've seen,” said the Doctor. She giggled, and blushed a bit.

“Brigadier Stewart?”

“He's a composite of several people.”

“The Morbius Doctors?”

“Oh please, don't remind me!” said the Doctor.

“Second favorite episode?”

“Fear Her,” said the Doctor.

“Fear...Her?” said Neo slowly.

“The fucking scribbles episode?” said Cloister, laughing.

The Doctor raised her eyebrows. Her face was completely serious. And then her face turned into the biggest grin possible.

“Good-bye, losers,” she said. She winked at Edge, and disappeared into her TARDIS.

Alone, they all looked at each other. Each one was one individual, yet one part of the whole.

“You know, /who/ would never believe us,” said Cloister.

“Still a good story, though,” said Belle. She sat closer to Cloister. “Do you still love me? Despite us being the same person?

Cloister blinked, and said “I've always supported self-love.”

They kissed each other deeply.

Neo balked. “You do know I can remember everything you two are doing, right?”

“We should write a fanfic about this,” said Immigrant.

“Faction Paradox is definitely real now,” said N8.

Edge sidled up to Gina, and whispered in her ear. The dark-skinned woman blushed, but then whispered something back. Edge grinned in turn, and they walked to a bedroom.

Starfu shook her head. These people might be one Time Lord, but together, they were just seperate posters on 4chan's /who/ thread, enriching it. No matter what they discovered, that would never change.

EPILOGUE:

A man in stereotypically creepy robes opens a stereotypically creepy door. He is in the halls of that Last Great Trip War. Coffins, engraved with names such as “Prog” line the walls. He smiles creepily, as he retrieves a sword from this forbidden place.

“Mongo may have died. But there are other ways to destroy /who/, said the man.

INTRODUCING


John Hurt

as

The Member of the Order of DWSR.