For the Love of Naked Mole Rats

[A4A][Script Offer] For The Love of Naked Mole-Rats [Humor][Shitpost][Your Partner is into Furries but You Wanted to Start Slow][Naked Mole-Rat Furry Costume][Facts About the Naked Mole-Rats][Educational?][Kinda Cute][No Sex]

Setting Notes: Your partner is into furries, so you decided to surprise them with naked mole-rat costumes for the two of you.

Other Notes: I respect all safe kinks. This script isn't meant to be making fun of furries. The speaker is meant to be very supportive about trying new kinks.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Honey, come here quick. I have a surprise.

Come on, go look in the living room.

(excited) It's in the box. Can you guess?

No, it's not Christmas decorations. Babe, it's not even December yet. You gotta chill with that stuff.

Yeah, yeah. I'll put up the tree. Just for you though. And not until December 1st. We are getting exactly one month of artificial pine flavoring and no more.

Anyway, I promise that the surprise is better than that. Way way better.

I'll give you a hint... (whispering) it's a sexy surprise.

No, I didn't hire a stripper. Not after the last time. I mean...I guess ninja are hot but that nunchuck accident was um...Well, I'm glad that black eye only lasted a week. But hey, we all learned a lot about nunchuck safety? Maybe?

But I promise there is no stripper this time. They probably would have suffocated if they were trapped in that box for that long. And I think that corpse fucking is one of your limits?

Yeah, I thought so. And the surprise definitely plays to your kinks and has the added benefit of not murdering anyone.

If you give up then I guess I'll just have to tell you. Can I get a drum roll, please?

Oh, come on. Do it. I want to build dramatic tension.

Yes, you're the best.

*lazy drum roll*

Okay, I'm going to pause for dramatic effect.

(pause)

And then tell you that I've finally decided to give one of your favorite kinks a try.

That's right, babe. I got a furry costume.

Ohh, I'm so excited to try this with you!

(excited) Okay, okay. How about I try on it? I really want to see if it fits.

Yes, okay wait here. I will only be a second.

*optional door closing*

(pause)

*optional door opening*

Ugh, sorry that I took so long. This thing really should come with an instruction manual.

Oh, it did? Well, I um...anyway...What do you think?

What?

Yeah, it's a naked mole rat costume. Isn't it cool?

Um yeah, I realize that having giant teeth cover my face might be kind of jarring. But hopefully, the sheer sexuality of the naked ratness makes up for it.

Come on, don't you think it's hot? I mean, it's a rat and it's already naked. It's gotta be hot, right?

Yeah, I know that furries are supposed to be...furry? But I thought that it would be good to start slow. Adjust to the furriness by beginning with something less furry.

We could start with the naked mole-rat and then maybe work up to a horse and, then before you know, I'll be in a full-on grizzly bear costume. That's how it works, right?

I know. I know that it's a little weird. But come on, it *is* the year of the rat. At least I think?

And um, the Chinese zodiac is kind of sexy right? So embrace the sheer sensuality that is that naked mole-rat.

And hey, wasn't Kim Possible your sexual awakening show?

Yeah. Yeah, I know that you liked the greenish lady, right? Shego. But um, they had naked mole-rat too right?

Yeah, he was called Rufus. And he must have been kind of cute, right? And I guess this kinda of...

(interrupting self) Okay, no. This isn't working. I really just think that you need to embrace how awesome naked mole-rats are.

I'm serious. Have you ever read up on them?

Well, I did yesterday.

What? I felt like I needed to in order to get into character.

Anyway, these tiny naked little fuckers are insane. They are the only mammalian thermoconformer. So like, that only cold-blooded mammal. Which both means that they survive in almost any environment and are perfect for all your Tsundere needs.

Um, you stupid bitch?

Okay, I might have work on my Tsundere.er? E-ness? But don't worry about that. The awesomeness that is the naked mole-rat goes far beyond middling Japanese anime tropes. These little devils are also basically immune to pain. (fake seductive) So baby, you can hit me as hard as you want.

Although, I guess it's probably less fun if it doesn't hurt...

But that's beside the point. Because...Um, naked-mole rat don't care. Naked-mole rat just wants to have a good time. Did you know that the naked mole rat is also the only known eusocial mammal. Eusocial means that it behaves like how ants or bees do. More like a collective than a group of individuals.

Good thing that we're poly. I am right, babe?

Ha, and just think of the orgies. The beautiful orgies.

And we'll never have to worry about cumming at the same time again. Because....Well, I guess that's how it must work in eusocial mammals, right?

I mean...other eusocial animals have a queen...who is pretty the only one that gets to cum...but that doesn't stop the naked mole-rat from being awesome!

And they can last for five hours on only 5% oxygen. So babe, you can choke me as long as you want.

(pause)

What? Yes, I am aware that I am not *actually* a naked mole-rat. And I can't *actually* hold my breath that long. But hey, this whole thing is supposed to be fantasy and there's just so much that you can imagine with the naked mole-rat.

They live entirely underground and do not require a lot of sleep. So, can go all night long, babe. And...and...their cells don't age. So, we can be forever young together. Doesn't that sound amazing?

So, what you say babe? Will you be my little sand puppy?

(whispers) Sand puppy is another name for the naked mole-rat.

Yeah, I got a costume for you too.

Come on, babe?  Please, for me?

Yes!

*kiss*

You're the best!

And I know that we don't *actually* have the thermoregulation to survive at subzero temperatures. But I think we can find a few ways to keep each other warm.

*kiss*