[BRYAN]

here's for a little controversy......................
brian taking care of alex
like just totally forcing him to accept the care because alex needs it even more than jay, even more than tim, even more than jessica, because alex is the one actively resisting it!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LIZARD]
god absolutely!!!! and it's so clear he's resistin it cause he's so damaged that he always has to slink off to lick his wounds all on his own and that just won't do will it!! whether he wants to be or not alex is a vital component of their story and brian's gonna make sure he's the best he can be, and if that means brian needs to knock him out and tie him up or drug him so he can send him off later back into the world stronger and healthier well that's just the sorta thing brian is suited to and is glad to do

[BRYAN]
god like anyways that first night he breaks in to alex's apartment (an actual apartment! before everything went to shit, before jay brought everything down and forced alex out of his home just as alex had forced jay out...) and holds him down, panting heavily behind his balaclava and staring at alex as he struggles ineffectually, not yet built with strength and rage, not yet metamorphosized, and perhaps brian has the one-up on him because the operator is finicky in what it does, in what powers it grants, in everything it can be, but whatever the case, despite how alex shouts and curses and spits and tries to claw at brian, he's held down, left to exhaust himself till he's laying prone and breathing just as hard as brian and with that he's being tied to the bed, clothes pushed up and pulled off so incredibly slow now that they've both had time to calm down... brian wants to savor it, despite how his hands shake, because this cant possibly something that gets rushed. it has to be methodical, has to be an experience and not just a blink of their eyes

[LIZARD]
it really does have to be the full package because alex doesn't just need physical care he needs the intense emotional stuff he isolates to avoid, and that's a big job for someone like brian!! he can't rush any point of this because it'll give alex an out to shut down and disqualify any of his efforts up to that point... he pets alex's face, hand heavy so alex can't tug away in his bonds and trailing down his chest and belly appreciatively, a gesture of admiration for his form... brian's come prepared  knowin he'd find the fridge empty and he's got food, soap and a washcloth and some lotion and he'd thought he might cut alex's hair but it really depends how the situation goes, if alex will accept him or not... so he starts slow, his gloves soft against alex's pale stomach, shushing him as he growls (and if he's already reduced to animalistic noises then brian'll have him eatin outta his hand in no time, literally)

[BRYAN]
brian's done this more than a few times already with jay... jay, soft and pliant and sleepy, the off-chance of panic that caused him to jerk and gasp violently, to try and weakly fight back or lay pinned paralyzed with fear and watching-- way back in the beginning, when he hooked his fingers into that old wound and ripped it wide open in all of them and forced brian (and by extension, tim, who sleeps soundly now in his own warm home, "deserving" of a break from the weeks-long excursion of mask and mask) to remember that there so many contributing factors, its not just himself and alex and the operator playing cat and mouse. but he doesnt think about jay, not in that shitty apartment and not in college and not now, in the trunk of his car, huddled up in himself with a soft fleece blanket he bought from walmart and a pillow he stole from a motel. now he thinks of alex, as he rubs his thumbs in soothing circles arond his hips, his soft pudgy belly and soft brown hair curling down to his boxer shorts waistband, and time seems to slow down to a crawl around them in that poorly lit room and the only noise being alex's attempts to insult and half-hearted struggles and still heavy breathing... brian's own seems light and airy, his shoulders rising and falling in tiny little bursts, especially when he leans down, curling his entire body so he can press his forehead against the sheet of thin muscle just above alex's belly button.
the position makes him remember a moment when all he could think to do in the midst of a far-off panic attack from tim, in the darkness of their dorm room, preceded by tim's frantic sleep-cries, was to blow a raspberry in just the same spot till tim was laughing instead of sobbing. and the thought makes brian laugh, too, a raspy wheezy kind of noise and he holds onto alex for dear life because now his voice is coming out too, giggling barely audible but there and he cant wait to do everything for alex. alex will accept him like jay and tim have accepted him, he swears it. and it becomes an arrogant laugh, before it tapers off and he straightens out, the moment passed... he reaches for either side of alex's head, staring at him and thinking how his eyes wide with terror hidden behind rage is so fitting for someone who could, who should be broken

[LIZARD]
brian decides to start with somethin a lil sneaky, makin alex recognize just what a slave to his own body he is, that it's a vulnerability as much as it is a strength, and that now he needs to accept that he needs brian, so brian parts w/ his gloves w/ some small regret, grabbing the lotion and straddling alex's hips, his weight and his warmth seepin thru his jeans to remind alex that it's been so long since he's had a lil rendesvous w/ jay, and was the last one even satisfyin? have any of them be when what alex truly needs is to be put in his place and loved there?? brian asks him this as he begins to massage alex's pecs, and it's even more intimate than a back massage because alex just has to lie there, lookin up into brian's masked face when he's spread out and open under him, the only thing he can do really is keep from movin his hips against brian's ass but even that's gettin more difficult w/ every passing second and when brian realizes he's not gonna play along so easy he takes the option outta his hands, grindin down absently as he works... it's not a consciously sexy movement, purely functional in nature and alex doubts brian has the self image to attempt seduction which makes it even perversely hotter, that it's no longer at all abt alex's opinion but abt the sheer physical reaction taken out of his hands to further control him, and he yanks at the ropes around his wrists to attempt escape without movin against brian further

[BRYAN]
brian's voice is strange to hear, strange to alex and stranger to brian himself, leaving them both reeling at his vocalized question. its barely acknowledged, though, and brian just accepts that he might as well be speaking into thin air, words hanging in both their minds, and at least registering on alex's face by the way he scowls, though turns his head away, breaking eye contact and furrowing his brow into an even deeper glare off into the distance... the operator is failing him, he knows its one of the only things that can deter the maniac pinching gleefully at one of his nipples before moving down from the soft-hard-soft tissue of his chest and further down to his ribs, still inflating and deflating hard and heavy with his desperate and angry breathing, and brian's hands are soft, all warm flesh and smooth and when the hell does brian have time to take care of his hands? it's insulting. even the guy running around in the woods with his idiot dog of a man to follow can practice a better moisturizing routine. or perhaps they were always like that, and alex was always seething with anger and he never had time to notice before things got fucked up that brian's hands are just naturally soft. brian continues to work his way up and down, pressing into the long lean muscles that cord from alex's ribs into his armpits, passing over the hair there and over his biceps, offering a smile he knows that alex cant see even when he squeezes the developing mass. just like jay, alex will be molded into perfection, by brian's divination? perhaps. most likely by the operator's.
he grinds down particularly pointedly at that but then abruptly pulls away, all motion stopping as if he were struck by lightning at his idea, and as if out of nowhere he's removing himself from alex, completely detatched from the situation, rubbing the last remnants of lotion into his hands before pulling his gloves back on, flexing his fingers at the familiar feeling of leather, and turning to alex, resigned with his idea, repositioning himself so he's on his knees, curling his entire body and bowing his head again before alex like in prayer, or perhaps to kiss his stomach, but this time he's pulling his boxers off, and pushing the bottom of his mask up, and he gives no time for alex to realize what's going on (his head isnt propped up and quite uncomfortable for him to try and look down, a fact that brian is glad of, disgusted at the scrabbling angry feeling at being seen) he takes alex's entire dick in his mouth, not sucking, not swirling his tongue, not touching his thighs or balls or belly or anything, just bowed like that with his still-masked nose pressed against his sweaty pubes and holding that position, engulfing him like that and feeling quite proud of himself

[LIZARD]
and alex goes dead still, unwilling to give brian the satisfaction of bucking up into his mouth, even as brian's spit has begun to roll down his balls, and they're both breathin sharply thru their noses for two different reasons, alex moanin bewilderedly at the feelin of brian's throat constricting around the tip of his dick, and there's a lil flare of anger in him that he can't even really obstruct brian's breathing w/ it... it's a stalemate, brian thinks, until he's abt to pull off and try somethin new when alex grinds out move already, soundin more petulant than commanding, followed by the rattle of what must be alex tryin to reach for brian's head to force him to... which of course gives brian an idea, and he runs a finger thru his own spit on alex's skin, ready to give him movement if he so desires it, just not the way he likely expects.... alex puts two and two together quickly enough when he feels brian's hand slidin back, proddin at his hole, sinkin to the first knuckle before alex has time to react... the effect is as intended, alex bucking up into brian's mouth and surrendering the first bit of his control, legs shaking as he shouts, groanin and far more responsive to even the smallest bit of stimulus which brian tests by runnin a finger up the underside of his cock as he pulls back, lickin his lips and grinnin at alex's helpless lil moan... he's learning, brian thinks, whether he knows or not.
it follows that brian only has to keep going, breaking alex down before he can spend time building him up again, and he's got him up to two fingers before alex starts to really struggle, tryin to force himself into brian's throat w/ renewed fervor, determined to choke him even as brian becomes increasingly charmed by it, holdin his hips down to reward him w/ a lil kiss on the tip of his cock before ducking his head back down to work him leisurely, totally unconcerned w/ alex's attempts to hurt him

[BRYAN]
alex feels incredibly overwhelmed, by now. it isnt even that much, comparatively, though it sure seems like hours have passed already. it leaves him breathless, more breathless, that is, than how he started. he alternates between going painfully tense and exhausted limp, and its probably the longest blowjob he's ever had, brian pulling away every time he seems to get close, and stroking a spot just shy of his prostate with the two fingers now comfortably having stretched him and staying inside him for the most part. just enough to keep him going, and he cant cover his face but he tilts his head to push it against his own shoulder as if to hide and getting increasingly frustrated at himself and brian and the operator and even jay and the world around him, his hopeless noises and ineffectual attempts to be forceful when brian started out with the upper hand by ambushing him in his light and fitful sleep. it's not fair! and he nearly cries that out the sixth time brian pulls away, clenching his thighs hard together and wiggling his hips with short rabbity little thrusts upwards until brian takes mercy on him and curls his fingers in just a little deeper, a little more deadset, and presses insistently against his g spot and alex's orgasm takes them both by surprise, covering his own bare stomach with seed and filling the air with his startled pleasured noise... brian pulls out but not away, not so quickly, wiping his fingers absentmindedly on the sheets and staring down at alex when this man, this tyrant, this false god and true martyr who ruined their lives before any of them were truly aware (where has brian gone? why is jay so sick? why has tim relapsed? why did alex move away?) who's now reduced to nearly whimpering on the bed before brian's watchful stare, semen making a little puddle on the contours of his stomach and ribs, and face deep red and wet with sweat - with tears? it's hard to tell when his glasses have fogged up from the heat of his face, but brian runs his finger through the fluid on his cheeks and tastes, and regardless of the source either skin or eye, it's salty and sharp, and alex

[LIZARD]
god and like brian lets alex cool off but he doesn't let alex lie in his own cum like he normally would because this is all abt caring for him, so brian is quick to wipe him down, pressing a kiss to his freshly clean belly and then another to his forehead, pushin his hair back and starin down at him once again, pullin alex's glasses off to deny him the coverage his glasses provide and smilin down at him when he squints back at him, strainin to make out any minute change in the blur that brian's face has become that would indicate what he plans next... brian lets him wonder, smilin wider at how alex's unfocused gaze follows him as he tugs his mask back down, crawlin over the bed to wander down the hall, comin back w/ freshly washed hands to where he'd left all his stuff on the bedside table, producin a plate of food and dragging an extra pillow w/ him to prop alex up so that he can eat comfortably... alex's face draws suspiciously when he sees the lil party tray of cold cuts and cheeses, clearly bought at a supermarket to be arranged later, and the loud popping plastic sound of brian opening it makes them both wince but it doesn't stop brian from makin a lil roll and holdin it up to alex's mouth expectantly, bobbing it in his face when alex shoots him an incredulous look and asks him if he's really going to feed him like this... but alex does somethin unexpected then, at least unexpected to himself, tho brian only hums approvingly as if he'd expected alex to cast his eyes away and open his mouth, flushing in humiliation as he allows brian to put it in his mouth, eyelids fluttering when the tips of brian's fingers brush his lips.... he is hungry after all, and he slumps lower and allows himself to be treated like a prized pet, unsure of his own feelings in spite of how brian seems to know him completely. he rolls his shoulders, flexing against the restraints to remind them both that he's not doin this of his own volition, but the laugh brian returns is less than convinced

[BRYAN]
alex wants to find things wrong with it. he wants to bite and growl and snarl and thrash, even propped up, even pampered, even when the only thing he has to justify his anger is that brian is treating him too sweetly, too well, the way a stranded animal can only bite at a hand trying to help. but brian's smart, he took precautions, and leaves himself far enough out of range to not get hurt, and smiles to himself when alex chews on the precut snacks, and it very quickly falls into a well practiced motion, a routine, almost, once again the feeling of time standing still prevailing as brian urges piece after piece of sliced meat, cheese, crackers, and the occasional press of bottled water to his mouth, brian tunnelvisioned on his lips, brushing the crumbs and grease away with delicate care in between each bite. it warms his heart knowing how easily alex yielded to him, no longer trying to snap at his outstretched fingers, though there was the truly accidental nip that elicited a laugh more genuine, more like the one when brian first undressed alex, bowed over him and pressed his head to his stomach and overwhelmed with the feeling of it all. it's almost like college again, in some fucked up way. almost like he's not made of static and darkness and well accustomed to the obscuration of cloth in front of his eyes to the point where to be without his mask is strange. and alex is good, well-trained, too tired to fight back and his stomach growling overpowered his vocal cords long ago anyways, and when the whole tray is finished, brian coos his pride, running his hands along alex's stomach admiringly

[LIZARD]
ok god ok so like!!!! honestly this is all abt playin things by the book so even tho it wasn't even that much food, brian still takes the time to rub alex's belly, not even needin to see the way alex turns from him and snorts to know alex considers it insultingly saccharine, but it still makes him strech involuntarily, clearly a sensitive spot for him, and that's just so cute brian can't help but give his tummy a lil squeeze, pressin his mouth just above his bellybutton, breath diffused thru his mask, and alex shivers at the sensation, closin his thighs as if expectin brian to try for round two... but brian isn't lookin for that just yet, pattin him and glancin at alex, wordlessly considerin if he's ready for somethin different, now that he's got him settled some he has to really drive it home for havin acted out so much earlier, usin alex's preferred method of unpredictibility to open alex up further... he puts his hand on alex's forehead, forcibly openin the mental link up for a moment to show him what he's missed out on this whole time, how alone he's felt in the past welling up when he feels truly, hellishly Understood for the first time since before he knew that he'd need it... it leaves alex gasping, tears welling up faster than he can blink them away well after brian severs the connection, more a knife to the brain than the subtle insinuation it has been for brian's other boys, but alex is a special case and wouldn't accept it w/ so much influence already in his head so the trauma is a cleaner way to go... brian is overwhelmed too, wipin alex's face absently as the static floods back into his own head so he doesn't have to think about how different it was compared to tim and jay, both more docile and unaware when he'd started feeding them the link, and brian may not have revealed himself as much as alex was revealed to him but it was still far too much... alex doesn't shy away now when brian lies at his side and holds him, from how he moves his arms brian thinks he would be holdin him back if he could... it was just for a moment, and then brian pulls away, casting around for the next thing, now a distraction for him (it won't be one for alex, he'll have to process it on his own and that'll take time but that makes the care all the easier, all the more necessary)

[BRYAN]
also consider brian feeling a lil emotionally raw after such an opening moment that it leaves him blinking tears of his own away, feeling them worse because they dont slide down his cheeks, they soak into his mask and leave their presence known, first a warm spot then made instantly cold when the air moves against it, and it makes him want to claw his mask off to rid the sensation, claw his skin off as well, getting rid of it all so he doesnt have to acknowledge that he was ever at one point real, real like alex is now, laying prone and miserable in the wake of brian's punishment and he's struggling to find something to distract him because it was too much, in punishing alex he punished himself and he sits there on the edge of the bed locking up and thinking that if he fled, the usual path, it'd be ok. things wouldnt be so overwhelming, and he wants to wrench tim awake and sink into the warmth of his strong hold, placating, and turns his head just slightly, expression completely devastated beneath the mask as he considers untying alex if only to be held by him, not as a surrogate for tim, but the actuality of alex kralie holding him, reveling in that misery that the operator has left on them, isolated and never truly able to connect again