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PrincessApplejack

Thread 10: Stories 151-166

Mar 19th, 2014
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  1. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  2.  
  3. >Queen Gryphon
  4. "Chrysalis"
  5. ~~~
  6.  
  7. >How in the nine fires of the starfeathers did you manage to slip past security?
  8.  
  9. "Real simple. Hey guard, can I come in? I can? Wow, that sure is nice of them!"
  10.  
  11. >Surely you cannot have been invited.
  12.  
  13. "I was about to say the same to you, your feathers are getting everywhere. The cleaning staff will revolt at this rate."
  14.  
  15. >My stomach is going to revolt at this rate.
  16.  
  17. "Oh ho ho! Catty! I like that. But how strange it is that I notice...I'm not the only one you are afraid of in this room."
  18.  
  19. >I do not fear any of you!
  20.  
  21. "Then why do your eyes keep flickering to that Changeling over there?"
  22.  
  23. >NO REASON!
  24.  
  25. "Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd say-... wait a minute, is that..."
  26.  
  27. >I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE REFERRING TO!
  28.  
  29. "That's not 42, that's... that's... Two? You're afraid of TWO!?"
  30.  
  31. >NO I'M NOT SHUT UP!
  32.  
  33. "But... she's like a ball of fluff and candy! She couldn't hurt a fly! Literally, the holes make it hard for her to catch them. She tries."
  34.  
  35. >SHE IS A DEMON IN DISGUISE!
  36.  
  37. "...Two. The marchmalley obsessed, crayon wielding, filly sized changeling who's main form of dealing with problems is 'hugs'. That Two."
  38.  
  39. >DON'T BE DECEIVED!
  40.  
  41. "The only deception going on here is you convincing me initially that you weren't fucking crazy. That time has passed."
  42.  
  43. >She will end us all, and you will rue the day she ever came to be! RUE IT I SAAAAY!
  44.  
  45. >...
  46.  
  47. "..."
  48.  
  49. >...
  50.  
  51. "...A-hem. Enjoy the night, Queen, I will be watching-"
  52.  
  53. >Time for fancy chessmaster speak is over, birdy. We're past that point and we ain't coming back.
  54.  
  55. "...Damn."
  56.  
  57. ~~~~~~~~
  58.  
  59. Yes, this is referencing that one post from for-fucking-ever ago where 2 glued the entire Gryphon army to the ceiling.
  60.  
  61. Because I couldn't resist referencing that.
  62. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  63.  
  64. >Spike/Rainbolt Indigo
  65. "Celestia"
  66. 'Applejack'
  67. [Rarity]
  68. ~~~~
  69.  
  70. [Good Evening, Celestia. Hello, Applejack.]
  71.  
  72. "Fashionably late I see."
  73.  
  74. 'Ah thought you were going to duck out of the Gala at the last minute.'
  75.  
  76. [While unpleasant as it was last time, I should still be amongst friends. Where's Spike?]
  77.  
  78. "We just saw him earlier with-"
  79.  
  80. >I'm here! I'm here! WHOA, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!
  81.  
  82. [Thank you. I'm sorry I kept you, darling, but I'm here now. Let's try to have fun, yes?]
  83.  
  84. >Uh y-yeah. You bet!
  85.  
  86. [Applejack, do enjoy yourself when you get the chance. (Psst, even with his date with DT I'll try and squeeze a dance for you two.)]
  87.  
  88. 'Aww thanks, sugar.'
  89.  
  90. [What are friends for?]
  91.  
  92. After Rainbolt Indigo and Rarity walk inside.
  93. [Spikey, why didn't you bring Charity along? I'd think you'd want to bring her for protection.]
  94.  
  95. >Oh uh Charity? She's uh...sheeee...waaasss...feeling sick.
  96.  
  97. [...really?]
  98.  
  99. >yeeees?
  100.  
  101. [...]
  102.  
  103. >Uh hey, let's go dance!
  104.  
  105. After a moment she shrugs it off and follows Spike.
  106. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  107.  
  108. >18
  109. "SA"
  110. ~~~
  111.  
  112. >I'm going to murder everyone in this room, I want you to know that.
  113.  
  114. "Your dance banter needs work. Standard protocol is 'how divine your dancing is!' or 'what a magical evening!' Genocide is one of those topics you save for the after party."
  115.  
  116. >I'm serious, do you know how many mares have walked up asking how to get into your harem? They asked me if there was a form to fill out, Shiny. They kept asking after I insisted there were no such forms.
  117.  
  118. "Oh?"
  119.  
  120. >Spin me clockwise real quick and lean me back.
  121.  
  122. "Liiiike, so?"
  123.  
  124. >There, that one in the red dress. Would not stop pestering me.
  125.  
  126. "She looks excited, I'll give you that."
  127.  
  128. >Also repeatedly asked if harem members were allowed to... intermingle.
  129.  
  130. "Funny thing? Got those offers plenty before all this. It's just part of the royal life, according to Celestia. Applejack gets letters every month, from what I've heard."
  131.  
  132. >So annoying.
  133.  
  134. "Ah, don't be like that 18! Promise, if I ever get a harem, she is at the bottom of the list."
  135.  
  136. >Don't give me false hope.
  137.  
  138. "I said IF. No need to take that as an indicator you should double your efforts.... please don't? Chrysalis makes me want to eat a bowl full of bullets some days. Without any milk."
  139.  
  140. >Eeesh, I'll stick to my normal output. Though, fair warning, I do not intent to stop grinding up against you, it's instinctive and I cannot nor do I wish to stop it.
  141.  
  142. "Meh, that's alright. I think it's just a theme now, Caddy and Chrysalis both did it too."
  143.  
  144. >Hey, this is going to sound like a weird request, but could you...
  145.  
  146. "Of course I was going to, how could I not?"
  147.  
  148. >Thanks, she deserves it. Try not to react if she spazzes out.
  149.  
  150. "Never do, 18, never do. Annnnnd BIG FINISH!"
  151.  
  152. >WAIT SHINY TOO HIGH I-... oh, magic catch, I see what you did there.
  153.  
  154. "I'm awesome, admit it."
  155.  
  156. >...They can see up my dress.
  157.  
  158. "Oh, shit! Sorry, I... waaaait a minute."
  159.  
  160. >HAH!
  161.  
  162. "DON'T YOU START!"
  163. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  164.  
  165. >Celestia
  166. "Chrysalis"
  167. ~~~
  168.  
  169. >Chrysalis.
  170.  
  171. "Celestia."
  172.  
  173. >You're behaving yourself.
  174.  
  175. "In the general sense, I've been playing hoofsie with Shiny and occasionally Cadence all night."
  176.  
  177. >...Cadence?
  178.  
  179. "She gets in the way, total interception. Bad enough she constantly cockblocks me, she doesn't need to add foreplay blocking to the list."
  180.  
  181. >And what, you just keep going?
  182.  
  183. "I am dedicated to my craft, thank you."
  184.  
  185. >...
  186.  
  187. "...You expected me to be causing more havoc, didn't you?"
  188.  
  189. >I expected at least one brawl by now, yes. You are not living up to your reputation.
  190.  
  191. "A, my reputation is being able to covertly blend in, and B, they won't fight me. Several of them still think I grew eight hundred feet and stomped the robot army into submission. Several others think I died and that the me before you is a double. Finally, a LOT of them are convinced Shiny is boning me and don't want to piss him off. It's like trying to start a fight in a nursery, they're just confused that I think they would even try."
  192.  
  193. >Damn. Plan C is a bust.
  194.  
  195. "Meh, don't worry about it. It's going to get crazy later."
  196.  
  197. >And just what makes you say that?
  198.  
  199. "Meh, call it a hunch. A hunch based off the distinct smell of food coloring and smoke."
  200.  
  201. >What?
  202.  
  203. "You have yourself some fun while it lasts, Celestia. Be it when I'm pulling the strings or someone else, one thing you can count on is that Changelings cause havoc."
  204.  
  205. >Nice to know you're so concerned for my safety.
  206.  
  207. "Meh, Shiny likes you. A lot. And hey, maybe I just want to keep my masterpiece undamaged."
  208.  
  209. >Right...
  210.  
  211. "You still owe me one for that, and I WILL be cashing in on it."
  212.  
  213. >I know, and I know I'm going to hate it, but... you do not know how nice it is to be all dressed up for this.
  214.  
  215. "I get the feeling."
  216.  
  217. >...
  218.  
  219. "...No, I'm not going to punch Rarity in the face for you."
  220.  
  221. >Please?
  222.  
  223. "Nnnnno. No. Bad Celestia. Bad. No."
  224. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  225.  
  226. >Celestia
  227. "Applejack"
  228. 'Various guests'
  229. ~~~~
  230.  
  231. >So are you going to explain this?
  232.  
  233. "No. Just know it's yer' fault too."
  234.  
  235. 'Princess Applejack, so nice to meet you. Um, about this bill you signed into law not long ago-'
  236.  
  237. "Eight one seven four?"
  238.  
  239. 'Yes, that one. I-'
  240.  
  241. "Don't ask, jus' know it wasn't supposed ta' exist, and it's gonna die in about five more months."
  242.  
  243. 'Oh.... alright!'
  244.  
  245. 'Princess Applejack! Love your work with the rest of the kingdom, by the way. About this bill-'
  246.  
  247. "Don't ask."
  248.  
  249. 'Did you really mean to-'
  250.  
  251. "Move along."
  252.  
  253. 'Can I ask why-'
  254.  
  255. "Keep moving."
  256.  
  257. 'Wifes only!? YOU HOMOPHOBIC BITCH! BURN IN TARTARUS CIS-SCUM!'
  258.  
  259. "Lots o' gay folks are cis gendered."
  260.  
  261. 'Don't bring your logic into this, I'M ANGRY!'
  262.  
  263. "Get to the party."
  264.  
  265. 'HATE!'
  266.  
  267. 'Princess Applejack! THANK YOU!'
  268.  
  269. "Oh dear lord, no."
  270.  
  271. 'No, seriously, I have gotten SO MUCH MORE ACTION in these last few weeks.'
  272.  
  273. "The ones that are happy are the worst."
  274.  
  275. 'Well, thanks again! Anytime you need a new outfit, you call alright?'
  276.  
  277. >...I didn't know Sapphire Shores was married.
  278.  
  279. "She ain't."
  280.  
  281. >Ah.
  282.  
  283. "Ah'm gonna kill Chrysalis, fair warinin'. One of these days, yer' gonna wake up and find her severed head in yer' bed."
  284.  
  285. >Why me?
  286.  
  287. "Fer' not catchin' this stupid law."
  288.  
  289. >...But isn't this one technically your fa-
  290.  
  291. "Not tonight, Celestia... Not tonight."
  292. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  293.  
  294. >Celestia
  295. "Sombra"
  296. ~~~~~
  297. >Honestly... your sheer presence doesn't cause the least bit of chaos?
  298.  
  299. "With this cloak, I honestly look no different than any unicorn stallion."
  300.  
  301. >Except for the red eyes, curved horn-
  302.  
  303. "That was a birth defect, I'll have you know."
  304.  
  305. >Well, plan D goes into the bin too...
  306.  
  307. "If you're looking for mayhem, you just need to have better eye for it. I am certainly enjoying the Dragon's plot falling apart at the seams..."
  308.  
  309. >What do you mean?
  310.  
  311. "He's using changeling doubles and switching his real self around so he can spend real time with his dates hoping they will be none the wiser. But one of his doubles has forgotten that Charity is a magical lens through which Rarity watches him, another double thought Spike was hatched by Sunset Shimmer, and Spike himself forgot that he's not supposed to sing with 2."
  312.  
  313. >Ohh... That is juicy... How long do you think it'll last?
  314.  
  315. "Like any armor of lies, Spike will doubtlessly try to maintain it to the last moment."
  316.  
  317. >Aren't you a bit more protective of 2?
  318.  
  319. "She can handle herself for this. Though to see the dragon bungle his way through so foolishly, it does fill me with shame that I was defeated by him."
  320.  
  321. >To be fair, you were more foiled by Twilight.
  322.  
  323. "True enough."
  324.  
  325. >So... tell me more.
  326.  
  327. Sombra chuckles
  328.  
  329. "Welcome to the darkside of court decadence. Now, over there, look at Shining Armor... He's getting aroused at his wife but she's also standing in the same line of sight as Chrysalis and 18."
  330.  
  331. >Excellent! Have you seen Fluttershy?
  332.  
  333. Sombra shudders
  334.  
  335. "That is one which you do not wish to know the answer to."
  336. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  337.  
  338. >77
  339. "Cheerilee"
  340. '42'
  341. ~~~
  342.  
  343. >I'm telling you, six more months and my soldiers will mop the floor with yours.
  344.  
  345. 'Pfft, if we don't get any better you mean. And I plan on running them so ragged they shit blood.'
  346.  
  347. >You haven't gotten that far already? You are slipping!
  348.  
  349. "Um, excuse me."
  350.  
  351. >...Oh! Hi, you're that teacher from Ponyville, the one 56 told me about.
  352.  
  353. "Nothing too awful, I hope?"
  354.  
  355. >Mostly about the demons.
  356.  
  357. "Oh..."
  358.  
  359. >He thinks they're quite neat.
  360.  
  361. "Oh? What about you?"
  362.  
  363. >Well, let's just say I've seen my fair share of horrors in my time.
  364.  
  365. "Yes, he actually mentioned that quite a lot..."
  366.  
  367. >...
  368.  
  369. '..Well, this isn't awkward.'
  370.  
  371. "You two aren't in a relationship, right? 29 said you weren't, but I don't want to step on any hooves if he was mistaken."
  372.  
  373. 'HAH! No. No no no.'
  374.  
  375. >29?
  376.  
  377. "Yes, uh, he actually is the reason I'm here. Got a ticket from me from Applejack herself! I need to thank him sometime..."
  378.  
  379. >Really? Huh... I can't say I know him all that well, but...
  380.  
  381. '...WILL YOU FUCKING DANCE WITH HER!?'
  382.  
  383. >42! That is so-OMF!
  384.  
  385. 'DANCE!'
  386.  
  387. >...W-well, it wouldn't hurt for one quick dance, would it? Do you mind?
  388.  
  389. "Oh! I would be delighted, thank you."
  390.  
  391. 42 kept the smug smirk on her face until they were out of sight, and only after they disappeared into the crowd did she finally give up the charade.
  392.  
  393. 'Lucky son of a bitch.'
  394.  
  395. Oblivious, the pair danced the night away.
  396.  
  397. >I really should thank him sometime, I wonder what that ninny is up to?
  398.  
  399. ELSEWHERE
  400.  
  401. >29
  402. "AB"
  403. 'SB'
  404. -SL-
  405. [SS]
  406. {BS]
  407. ~Various children~
  408. ~~~~
  409.  
  410. >SWEET MOTHER OF HELL! Children, please, ASSIST ME!
  411.  
  412. "We're ten! What do ya'll want US ta' do!?"
  413.  
  414. ~I gotta go potty!~
  415.  
  416. >YOU JUST WENT TWO MINUTES AGO!
  417.  
  418. ~I gotta go aga... nevermind.~
  419.  
  420. >ARRRGGH!
  421.  
  422. 'Applebloom, we might be out of our cheese here.'
  423.  
  424. -Did you mean league?-
  425.  
  426. 'There's a league of cheese? That's weird, what do they do? Solve cheese related crimes?'
  427.  
  428. [That sounds oddly specific.]
  429.  
  430. 'Right? Makes no sense!'
  431.  
  432. >WHY IS NOBODY WATCHING YOU!?
  433.  
  434. ~Our mommies and daddies ran off.~
  435.  
  436. >...Depressing. Okay, I think that's all- GET OFF THE CEILING!
  437.  
  438. ~NO!~
  439.  
  440. "How the hay is she up there?"
  441.  
  442. [Oh, I don't know, maybe she's Spider-Pony!]
  443.  
  444. 'OMYGOSH! SPIDER-PONY!? CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!'
  445.  
  446. [...]
  447.  
  448. {Yeah, sarcasm isn't really her thing.}
  449.  
  450. >GET DOWN FROM THERE!... Chrysalisdammnit...friggen...gotta do this..
  451.  
  452. [You can walk on walls?]
  453.  
  454. {Whoa!}
  455.  
  456. 'HE WAS THE REAL SPIDER-PONY ALL ALONG!'
  457.  
  458. -He's a changeling, though.-
  459.  
  460. '...Hrm... Which one is the real one!?'
  461.  
  462. "HOLY TOLDIOES! WHERE THE HECK DID YA'LL GET A GUN!?"
  463.  
  464. -Put it down!-
  465.  
  466. 'But I don't know which is the real one!'
  467.  
  468. >Damnable child, neither of us is the real one! We BOTH would be of mortal wounding from your accursed-
  469.  
  470. *BLAM!*
  471.  
  472. >GAK!
  473.  
  474. {SWEETIE BELLE!}
  475.  
  476. [WHY!?]
  477.  
  478. 'The heroes NEVER talk all funny like that! Only the badguys do, so he's got to be the badguy!'
  479.  
  480. "...Damn, she actually does kinna have a point. Ya' never see any of the Power Ponies talk like that."
  481.  
  482. >Glrgl!
  483.  
  484. -Right! Crap! Need to help him!-
  485.  
  486. >Actually, I think it just winded me, I should be fi-
  487.  
  488. {EVERY FILLY, HUG!}
  489.  
  490. ~YAAAAAAY!~
  491.  
  492. >N-no wait! Wait I said! I'm fine! I'M FINE NO! NONONONONO!
  493.  
  494. ~HUUUUGS!~
  495.  
  496. >NOOOOOOOOOOO~!
  497.  
  498. '...And once again, the day is saved! Thanks to-'
  499.  
  500. "'-The Cutie Mark Crusaders!-'"
  501. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  502.  
  503. >SA
  504. "Celestia"
  505. 'Applejack'
  506. ~~~
  507.  
  508. >Hey, Celestia! Having fun?
  509.  
  510. "Not really. Greeting every single pony is tiresome."
  511.  
  512. >Ah, come on! It's your gala, surely you can have a little fun.
  513.  
  514. "No such luck."
  515.  
  516. >...Hey, Applejack?
  517.  
  518. 'Yeah?'
  519.  
  520. >Do me a favor, take over real quick?
  521.  
  522. "Shining Armor, you know I can just-HEY!"
  523.  
  524. >We're dancing and you can't say no!
  525.  
  526. "You can't just abduct me like this! Bubble shields are off limits! Applejack, defend your princes!"
  527.  
  528. 'Now ya'll have her back before nine, and no funny stuff ya' hear! Ah' was young once too, Ah' know all about how you crazy kids think!'
  529.  
  530. "Applejack!"
  531.  
  532. >Too late! Dancefloor achieved! You can either rush back, completely emasculating yourself in front of all these guests, or you can out dance me and show me up, your move!
  533.  
  534. "..."
  535.  
  536. >...
  537.  
  538. "...*Pft* Okay, you got me, Drillmeister."
  539.  
  540. >You knew how this was going to end, Springy Sitter.
  541.  
  542. "Classic maneuver number seven?"
  543.  
  544. >Princess Celestia, that dance is so scandalous! LET'S DO IT!
  545.  
  546. "HIT IT DJ!"
  547.  
  548. 'Heh... crazy kids... Ah'm not jealous...'
  549.  
  550. >Aaaaaand JUMP!
  551.  
  552. "HAH!"
  553.  
  554. '...not at all. But iffin' ah' were, it would be all yer' fault.'
  555. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  556.  
  557. >Sombra
  558. "Big Mac"
  559.  
  560. >And that's how the hamlet of Trottingham withstood a siege by the dreaded Mongrel Horde. Let me tell you my friend if anything speaks to the ingenuity and power of the common pony, it's that.
  561.  
  562. "Eeyup."
  563.  
  564. >You know I never thought I'd find someone who shared my view of a more mortal-centric government here of all places, I thank...you...for...hmm...
  565.  
  566. Big Mac tilted his head quizzically. Sombra was looking over his newfound acquaintance's shoulder, squinting.
  567.  
  568. >That stallion, he bears the rainments of House Tourmaline.
  569.  
  570. "Huh?"
  571.  
  572. >He's on his fifth drink. The House of Tourmaline was founded by a Shetland mercenary given lordship for his service in the Siege of Canterlot.
  573.  
  574. "Eeeeyup?"
  575.  
  576. >So if he's of Shetland descent, and is on his fifth drink...why hasn't he punched somebody?
  577.  
  578. Big Mac's reply was an arches eyebrow.
  579.  
  580. >Oh don't give me that look, the Shetlanders themselves brag about it, having that heritage in your blood means at least three brawls after a single flagon. Yet this one does not.
  581.  
  582. Tourmaline moved on from where he was speaking with a gaggle of mares, Sombra narrowed his eyes.
  583.  
  584. >I must inform someone of this, you keep an eye on him.
  585.  
  586. "Eeyup."
  587.  
  588. Sombra floated off to find someone.
  589. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  590.  
  591.  
  592. Outside, a storm raged through the Crystal Empire, not one of rain, or sleet, or thunder, and wind, but a storm of anger, fear, and hope.
  593.  
  594. "Come on, you have to get out here!" Shining Armor said for the nth time to a despondant and depressed Chrysalis who just stared outside the cracked window, down at the many angry ponies and changelings below, another bullet stopped and adding new spider webs.
  595.  
  596. "Let them come..." The queen said dismally, and outside, in the streets, one changeling channeled the will and anger of the crowds.
  597.  
  598. "In that opulent palace are two symbols of the ineffective old order! Pony and changeling alike suffered under the Princess Cadence and her avarice, under Chrysalis and her ego!" Thirty Three shouted to a thousand cheers. "But we stand at the precipice of a new age! A new order! No gods or kings, mortal or alicorn to rule us: only ponies!"
  599.  
  600. The cries of rage and agreement swelled.
  601.  
  602. "But for the new order to grow, the way of the world must BURN! Today, we bring the Crystal Empire to the modern era, the era of freedom! Tomorrow, we break the backs of the royal family in Canterlot... AND THROUGHOUT THE WORLD! New winds are blowing through the lands, and they bring with them change which will uplift the common pony!"
  603.  
  604. With a final cry, the Palace doors crumbled, and the angry mob poured in, thirsting for blood.
  605.  
  606. As this happened, Shining armor turned and glared at a the wisp of Sombra and asked: "Is this everything you wanted?"
  607.  
  608. "Never..."
  609.  
  610. NON CANON
  611. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  612.  
  613. >Celestia
  614. "Chrysalis"
  615. ~~~~~
  616.  
  617. >Having fun?
  618.  
  619. "Pfft, hell yes. Look at them jump whenever I move! I sparked my horn and I swear the guards broke out into shakes."
  620.  
  621. >Do you really like being feared?
  622.  
  623. "Hah! Yes. I am the Queen of an entire species of fear inducing monsters, it should only be fitting that I am the most feared of all of them."
  624.  
  625. >Hrm, suppose so. Do you suppose that's why Shining Armor doesn't return your affections? He's too afraid?
  626.  
  627. The air got still between them, as if they had suddenly disconnected from the party around them. They continued on, blurred and out of focus, while the tallest in the room stared each other down.
  628.  
  629. "Fear is a powerful motivator, Celestia."
  630.  
  631. >So is love, you of all of them should know that.
  632.  
  633. "We wield both, do we not? You were not so loving to Discord that you did not arm your student when you unleashed him. You used his fear of the Elements to prevent his retaliation."
  634.  
  635. >And look at how well that turned out. Completely ineffectual, he reigned chaos at his first chance. But friendship... that was more powerful than fear, was it not?
  636.  
  637. "Hmm, perhaps. Perhaps I only wish fear from my foes, and no others."
  638.  
  639. >And what does that make my citizens, your foes?
  640.  
  641. "We are certainly treated as such."
  642.  
  643. >You are.
  644.  
  645. "Oh ho! Perhaps I should have brought 12, the stories he would tell!"
  646.  
  647. >Because of you.
  648.  
  649. "Perhaps."
  650.  
  651. >...I will not let you hurt him, you know. Very, very few are that precious to me. I love them all, but there are only a few that will make me question holding in my real power.
  652.  
  653. "HAH! It's funny... I was just thinking the same thing."
  654.  
  655. As if they had suddenly locked back into the world, time resumed.
  656.  
  657. "Marvelous evening, Celestia. I hope it's as fun for you as it is for me."
  658.  
  659. Her eyes narrowed.
  660.  
  661. >We shall see by the end, won't we?
  662. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  663.  
  664. >Rainbolt Green
  665. "42"
  666. 'Potatojack'
  667. ~~~~~
  668.  
  669. >Really, do you have to eat ALL of them? Can't you just save the on-
  670.  
  671. 'HISS!'
  672.  
  673. >Alright! Whatever. Not like I wanted a potato anyway.
  674.  
  675. "Spike?"
  676.  
  677. >42! How... how are you? You doing good? Good. Good to hear. This is my date. This Changeling right here. The one with the potato. And nopo-noBODY else. Heh.
  678.  
  679. "..."
  680.  
  681. >...
  682.  
  683. "...Oh, shoot, I'm out of punch. Hey... weird Changeling with the vegetable in her mouth, would you mind going and getting me some more?"
  684.  
  685. 'MRPH!'
  686.  
  687. "That's nice of you, thanks..."
  688.  
  689. >...
  690.  
  691. "...What the fuck are you doing?"
  692.  
  693. >W-whatever do you mean?
  694.  
  695. "How have you POSSIBLY fooled her? How could you fool anyone? You have the brain capacity of a dried up prune that's been stepped on."
  696.  
  697. >Harsh!
  698.  
  699. "No, harsh is what my hoof is going to feel like when it caves your face in. What are you doing?"
  700.  
  701. >...He hired us for a bit of help.
  702.  
  703. "Oh, Spike~... so many things to mock about this situation, so little time! My week has just gone black in preparation."
  704.  
  705. >Look, I think I'm doing a pretty good job. And hey, this is what we do, right? We pretend to be someone else. Shouldn't you be happy?
  706.  
  707. "Oh, I am positively mirthful, I want you to know. Just had to make sure this wasn't you trying to get some action in the guise of my comrade."
  708.  
  709. >...with her?
  710.  
  711. "Point. Now hush, she should be in hearing range in three... two... And so then I said- Oh! Thank you. Well, I don't want to keep your date all hung up with me. Have fun, you two!"
  712.  
  713. 'MRPSHIMU!'
  714.  
  715. >Yeah... you too.
  716.  
  717. "Now if you don't mind, I have so many things to start writing... so... so many things."
  718. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  719.  
  720. >Sombra
  721. "Shining"
  722.  
  723. >Armor!
  724.  
  725. "Sombra, trying to enjoy the night here."
  726.  
  727. >This is urgent!
  728.  
  729. "Urgent how?"
  730.  
  731. >There is an imposter amongst us!
  732.  
  733. A nearby Spike dancing with Two suddenly went stock still, standing bolt upright.
  734.  
  735. >...not you, you moron.
  736.  
  737. The Spike attempted to resume dancing as though nothing had happened.
  738.  
  739. "Wait what was-"
  740.  
  741. >Nevermind that, there is a stallion among us who isn't what he says he is. This Lord Tourmaline is a duplicate.
  742.  
  743. "Lord Tourmaline? The weirdo who lives on the other side of the mountain? Are you sure he's not just being...himself?"
  744.  
  745. >Impossible, he's holding his liquor too well!
  746.  
  747. "Sombra...I think you maybe being a bit paranoid."
  748.  
  749. >Mark me, Armor, he must be watched!
  750.  
  751. "Then why don't you do it? You're the ghost here."
  752.  
  753. >...point taken. I shall take up this task then, but do me one thing!
  754.  
  755. "What?"
  756.  
  757. >Watch the stage show, I have good money riding on the Unicorn DJ going down in round eight.
  758.  
  759. "Uh...can do."
  760.  
  761. The wisp whooshed off, on the case.
  762. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  763.  
  764. >Chrysalis
  765. "Luna"
  766. '56'
  767. ~~~
  768.  
  769. >Hol-e-shit. Really?
  770.  
  771. "Is there something you wish to inquire about, Chrysalis?"
  772.  
  773. 'HI MOM!'
  774.  
  775. >Not related. How many times do I have to saw it? Not. Related.
  776.  
  777. 'Like my date? She's great!'
  778.  
  779. >Starting young, aren't we? Am I going to have to stage an intervention? He is SO underage, I need to warn you.
  780.  
  781. "Hrmph! We simply enjoy his company, there is nothing even slightly sexual about this."
  782.  
  783. 'Yeah, moons is just fun, mom! You need to meet her more, she's great. Her plots almost as big as yours!'
  784.  
  785. >...Huh, you're right!
  786.  
  787. "WE ARE ON A DIET!"
  788.  
  789. >Seriously, though, don't molest him. Kay?
  790.  
  791. "How vulgar!"
  792.  
  793. 'Hey, I know that word! Ponies use it all the time when I'm appreciating their plots.'
  794.  
  795. >Look, not that I have a problem necessarily with you rutting a minor, just saying that it's normally frowned upon. Trying to cultivate an image here, you know?
  796.  
  797. "Y-you vile little..."
  798.  
  799. 'Hey, moons? Yer' shakin'. Not that I have a problem with it, you jiggle when that happens.'
  800.  
  801. >So nothing serious, you hear? Pettings fine, but anything else is a no-no. Don't make me go get your sister.
  802.  
  803. '...You're turnin' kind of red, Luna. You okay?'
  804.  
  805. "F-fiiiine."
  806.  
  807. >Have fun you two! But not too much. Too much fun will get you ten to twenty! Tata~!
  808.  
  809. "..."
  810.  
  811. '...Seriously, you're freaking out here. You okay?'
  812.  
  813. "..."
  814.  
  815. '... I see stars on fire outside. Is that... is that you? Did you..'
  816.  
  817. "..."
  818.  
  819. '...I'll just go get some punch. You like punch? Course you do, everyone likes punch. Cool? Cool.'
  820.  
  821. "..."
  822.  
  823. '...Yeah.'
  824. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  825.  
  826. >Applejack Two
  827. "Spike"
  828. 'Shining'
  829. {DT}
  830. ~Rarity~
  831. :Rainbolts:
  832. ~~~~~
  833. >Heeey, Shpike... you gotta try some of thish punsh! Ish great!
  834.  
  835. :Oh, fucking hell, you're drunk?:
  836.  
  837. >Yanno, yer a real cutie, righ'? *Hic!* Ah wanna make you my prinsh
  838.  
  839. AJ2 hugs Spike/Rainbolt Indigo and... falls asleep
  840.  
  841. :Oh, man! Oh, man!:
  842.  
  843. Shining Armor is on top of Indigo suddenly
  844.  
  845. 'SPIKE DRACULA SPARKLE SOL WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR FULL NAME IS, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY DAUGHTER?!'
  846.  
  847. :... I'm not Spike! I swear!:
  848.  
  849. Indigo shifts and points to the Spike with DT
  850.  
  851. :That's him! There!:
  852.  
  853. :Whoa! Hey! I'm not him, he's with PotatoJack!:
  854.  
  855. :Don't look at me! I'm not Spike either! I never wanted to do this, but he bribed us!:
  856.  
  857. "Ugh! i'm the real Spike... And... I'm sorry."
  858.  
  859. The real Spike lets go of Rarity who he had been dancing with
  860.  
  861. ~... Darling... Spikey wikey... Explain now before I crush your skull.~
  862.  
  863. {Screw explanations! you're dead!}
  864.  
  865. DT pulls out her rocket launcher, Twilight, Shining, and Rarity began charging spells, and PotatoJack strapped on her ThreeDimensional Movement Gear and drew the swords
  866.  
  867. "... Crap."
  868. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
  869.  
  870. >AJ56
  871. “Queen Gryphon”
  872. ‘Gryphon Escort’
  873. ______
  874.  
  875. >Gettin’ Moons a drink, gettin’ Moons a drink, cha cha cha! Pourin’ that punch, pourin’ that punch, cha cha cha! There go two Spikes, there go two Spikes, cha cha ch-wait, what? …Huh! So he can split himself, eh? Cool! I wonder how he does th-UMPH!
  876.  
  877. *fwump!*
  878.  
  879. “SQUAWK!”
  880.  
  881. ‘Your majesty… This creature has its face buried in your backside. Shall I kill it?’
  882.  
  883. >O-oh geez, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I was lookin’ over there and not watching where I was going and got lost in thoughts about clone wars and my goodness gracious your ass is huge and furry. Would you mind if I just… real quick…? Thanks.
  884.  
  885. ‘…’
  886.  
  887. “Tell me this horrid creature is not rubbing its face into my hindquarters.”
  888.  
  889. ‘It’s rubbing its face into your hindquarters, ma’am.’
  890.  
  891. “You’re obviously daft in the ears.”
  892.  
  893. ‘Just say the word and down it goes, ma’am.’
  894.  
  895. >MWAH! Whooooo, that’s a nice soft’n jiggly rump ya got there, Gryphon lady! Smells really perfume-y! In fact, just to make sure… yep! Definitely fragrant!
  896.  
  897. ‘Your majesty, that’s twice now. Please, I want to kill this thing. I burn to kill this thing.’
  898.  
  899. >Hahaha, you can try, wouldn’t be the first, lemme tell ya!
  900.  
  901. “Hold yourself, guard. I’m… intrigued, enough to grant this thing a few more breaths. You, filthy bug, where is your fear? Do you not know that the gryphons and Changelings are bitter rivals?”
  902.  
  903. >Huh? Of course I do! I have vague memories of fighting some gryphons… but I couldn’t care less about that! Just because you happen to be a racist doesn’t mean all your kind is, and with a booty like that, you can’t be all bad. Speaking of…
  904.  
  905. “Ngh…”
  906.  
  907. ‘That’s three. Three times. Once more and you will have to lock me away for insubordination, your majesty.’
  908.  
  909. >You’ll have to raincheck me, alright? I gotta get these drinks to Moons, and pronto! See ya later, catbutt! Try not be such a sourpuss, okay?
  910.  
  911. “…”
  912.  
  913. ‘Your majesty… are you… are you purring?’
  914.  
  915. “Be silent…”
  916. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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