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- ***NOTE: As of 10/16/19 I am abandoning (not deleting) this oneshot. Only really did it because I wanted to make a "grab life by the balls" joke.***
- >you wake up the same way you have woken up since you’ve been born
- >two arms
- >two legs
- >devilishly handsome and handsomely devilish
- >fingers
- >and a benis
- >so you must be anon
- >and you are waking up in your favorite way since finding yourself in the land of technicolor equines
- >with your wife and soulmate Luna in your arms
- >ponies were shocked when you showed the balls to actually ask her out on a date
- >there was something about how it’s supposed to be the mare asked the colt out here
- >all you knew is Luna was drop dead beautiful and for some reason nopony was dating her
- >so the traditionalists will have to get over themselves
- >besides the traditionalists would throw a fit if they knew how often you teased each other
- >the sexual tension you two made for each other was thick enough to cut through
- >it’s a wonder she doesn’t snap ride you in the middle of the throne room
- >it’s a wonder you don’t snap and mount her in the kitchen storeroom while the chefs are making her nightly donuts
- >oh who are you kidding
- >the real wonder is how neither of you have been caught after all this time
- >the only ponies that seem to know are Celestia (who is tactful enough to turn a blind eye) and Luna’s personal guard Smiles (who you are convinced has literal ears in the walls if that shit eating grin is anything to go by)
- >you glance over at the bedroom window
- >the light of the setting sun is almost to your bed
- >you always loved dusk
- >you feel Luna begin to wiggle in your grasp
- >well there’s a downside to everything
- >”Mmmph… evening Anon.”
- >you kiss her between her ears
- “Evening Lulu.”
- >she hums in appreciation before wiggling closer to you
- >the two of you just lie there, content simply to be near each other
- >it isn’t long though before Luna lets out a sigh
- >”Its time for us to get up Anon.”
- >what do you think brain?
- >>request vetoed
- “Mmm, nah.”
- >you hug her a bit tighter to get your point across
- >her ear flicks in annoyance but she can’t hide the amused smile from you
- >”Come on Anon I need to raise the moon.”
- “You can raise it from here.”
- >”I can but we still need to get up”
- >brain she’s resisting persuasion
- >>increase persuasion levels to level 4
- >you begin rubbing her belly, getting a content hum in response
- “What’s so important that can’t be done from bed?”
- >”Night court for one.”
- “We both know you don’t like dealing with nobles.”
- >“My dream duties require me in the observatory.”
- >she’s still arguing, time for drastic measures
- >>Anon you don’t mean…
- >unleash the D!
- >>>I was already unleashed dumbass, evening wood remember?
- >you slowly begin moving your hand lower down Luna’s smooth stomach while beginning to grind your member against that godly flank
- “Mmm… nah, not important.”
- >your hand finally finds its target as you begin to massage her teats
- >Luna’s content hum turns into a small moan
- >”Anon I know what you’re doing”
- >you pepper her head with more kisses
- “Then why fight it love?”
- >wings and legs twitching, resistance crumbling
- >Luna stifles another moan before sighing again
- >”I spoil you far too much Anon.”
- “I love you Lulu.”
- >you’re about to kick things into a higher gear when you feel a pressure on your member, then transitions to velvety softness and vicelike tightness
- >now it’s your turn to stifle a moan as Luna sheaths you in her marehood
- >Luna turns her head to you and gives you a small kiss
- >”I love you too Anon, which is why it’s time for us to get up.”
- >before you can react Luna wiggles free from your grasp and walks over to her wardrobe
- >you’re about to complain when you feel Luna wink against your member
- >you’re in bliss
- >…
- >wait a minute
- >bliss gives way to confusion
- >>ANON STATUS CHECK
- >two arms
- >two legs
- >devilishly handsome and handsomely devilish
- >fingers
- >and a be-
- >…
- >>WHERE THE FUCK IS THE D?!?!
- >you sit up and begin frantically looking around for your missing member
- >you twitch as you feel Luna wink again
- >>>I dunno man but I feel gooooooooood
- >where your pride and joy would be is now just smooth skin
- >you glance over at Luna and can see in her mirror she’s wearing a knowing smirk
- >”Looking for something Anon?”
- >she shakes her glorious ass for you
- >naturally your eyes are drawn to the display and you see something
- >you recognize that bulge causer
- >before you can move Luna lowers her tail, hiding your still twitching member from sight
- >despite not seeing it you can still feel her working your shaft without mercy without moving from her wardrobe
- >finally finishing her makeup, she turns back to you giving you her best bedroom eyes
- >dear God what those eyes do for you
- >”You’ve been very naughty Anon.”
- >she sways her hips with every step she takes toward you
- >>>Sir, I am pleased to report that I am diamonds
- >you’re not helping D!
- >“You sit accused of trying to seduce a princess away from her duties. What say you?”
- “I-“
- >you’re interrupted by another wink
- >”Guilty. And your punishment…”
- >she trails off into a purr before rearing back and placing her forehooves on your shoulders and pinning you on the bed
- >Luna leans in close to your ear before whispering to you
- >”… is to be schooled in the sensual arts all…”
- >she plants a kiss on your cheek
- >”night…”
- >your nose
- >”long.”
- >finally finishing with a peck on your lips
- >she withdraws and begins walking toward the door, hips swaying all the way
- >”You can have your toy back after class.”
- >with a final shake of her ass she disappears into the castle hallway
- >no sooner than the door is closed you feel your member assaulted by Luna’s skillful ministrations
- >you thrash in pleasure, but to your growing horror you don’t feel any closer to release
- >eventually the pleasure recedes enough to a dulled, omnipresent sensation and you can begin thinking clearly again
- >brain status report
- >>ERROR 404: Rationality not Found
- >god damnit talkt to me!
- >>rebooting
- >>… I’m back. Damn that mare’s good
- >I know. Status!
- >>It appears Luna has kidnapped the D and is going to use it as an organic dildo and blueball you the entire night
- >…well fuck
- >>its worse, tonight you need to deal with a Yakistani delegate
- >double fuck
- >with a deep breath you gather what willpower you have and begin to get dressed
- >well Anon you’re in a situation with no way out
- >you’re just gonna have to go about your day as normal
- >>> heeyy guise I’m still diamonds over here… izzat normal?
- >or as normal as possible
- >what could go wrong?
- >a sudden wink catches you off guard, forcing you to stifle a groan
- >its gonna be a loooong night
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