Le Grande Adventuré á la Idiots I & To

***1***

Thee men wake in a desert. They start to cry and hold eachother tightly.

Balendran: It’s okay man. We’re going to be okay.
Mosby: What’s going to be okay?
Balendran: I don’t know…
Mosby:  Where are we!?
Balendran: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW OKAY SHIT FUCK
Ian: FUCK WHERE ARE WE!?
Mosby: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW IAN OKAY NOW WOULD YOU STOP DROANING, WE’RE IN A FOREST.
The men stand up and start to cry more. They then proceed to shout more swear words and angry phrases. They flip the camera off.
Mosby: FUCK I’M SO ANGRY I DON’T KNOW WHERE WE AREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Balendran: I’M SO FUCKING FULL OF ANGER WHERE ARE WE!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!??!
Ian: I don’t know,I’m rather irritated though.
Balendran: Why is that sweetie?
Ian: I just saw my mother been stabbed to death by a pair of hairy arms. Quite annoying really. :/
Mosby:Big hairy arms, like mine?
Ian: Yes. Actually, your arms are a complete replica of the arms that stabbed my mother.
Mosby: Wow,even with my massive gorilla tattoo?
Ian: Yes, in the exact same position.
Mosby: Huh… anyway let’s all go down this dark deserted alleyway.
Balendran: I don’t see why not, ohohohoho
They troll into the dark deserted alleyway.;
Balendran: Fuckme,that’s some fucking beautiful grass!
Mosby:Yeah, isi9nnit
Ian:Holdon, where did the grass go?
Balendran: Fucking fuck, there’s no floor!
All: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WE’REFALLING DOWN A FUCKING HOLE
Ian: Wait a minute, I can fly!
Balendran: Can you?

Ian: N o9, you fucking idiot!
Mosby: WHY HAVEN’TI SAID OWT IN AGES
Balendran: COSWE’REAB OUT TO DIE

*they die*OR DOTHEY!?!?!?!
Suddenly as they’re about to die a pair of fat hairy arms grab Ian and Balendran. They go “URGHHHHHHHHHHHH!” and stare at the man strangling them. It is mosby. The only words that can escape Ian’s mouth are
Ian: “YOU FUCKING DIMP.THERE IS LITERALLY ZERO POINT IN MURDERING US WHEN WE’RE ALL ABOUT TO DIE ANYWAY I MEAN COMNE ONNN@

THE END!# wtf?



***LA GRANDÉ ADVENTURE Á LA IDIOTS TO***

The three ídíots have been reincarnated as Iosby, Man, and Labendran
Iosby: WHERE ARE WE!?!?!? #FFS
Man: I don’t know, I’ll get my satnav out
Labendran: What good will that do!? We ate the bastard!!!
Iosby: OH WHERE ARE WEEEEEEE #hungry
Man: Oh shit, I forgot about that, the battery’s dead. I drunk the acid so it will be!
Labendran: Yeah whatever let’s just go find a Nando’s
Iosby: WILL YOU LOT STOP BEING SUCH PILLOCKS WE’RE IN A FORESTAGAIN #crying
Labendran: You bloody killed meh! You have to have your chicken extra hot innit it’ll burn yer fuckin face off #myfirsttweet
Iosby: #sozboutthat
Man:  #wtf with the hashtags? soo annoying
Iosby: No one gives a flip. Now cook our fucking chicken, MAN
Labendran: Are you kiddin, the birds love the hastags, until we cook them and smother them in sauce
Suddenly, a massive dragon came and grabbed Man from the ground
Man:  Ohhhhh shit *whispers*
Iosby: Oh no :’(
Man taps Iosby on the shoulder, and points behind him. However, Iosby was not looking and Man was gobbled up by Mr Firey Dragon. The two men stare in anger as he’s eaten in front of them. They growl and go “URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” and flip the camera off in anger
Labendran: YOU FUCKING TWAT YOU KILLED MY MATE #whensthefuneral
Labendran performs a triple-rotating somersault and drives a broadsword through the skull of Mr Firey Dragon
Mr Firey Dragon: Come back to me on that one, what are you gonna say next
Iosby’s sister: Fuckin weirdo
Iosby: Feeble woman, you cannot escape.
Iosby’s dad: WHAT!?
Iosby: Sorry, that’s her new name
Iosby’s dad: I will now write a novel about the great depression.
Iosby:WHERE ARE WE??!?!?!??
Iosby’s dog: #woof
Labendran: Tally-ho, chaps, I’d wish to partake in the consumption of well expensive Nando’s, but first we’ve gotta get out of this FUCKIN FOREST and will you GET RID OF YOUR DAD uvverwise I can’t flirt with your fit sister
Iosby’s dog: #woof
Iosby’s stoner neighbour: 420 blaze it? =D =D
Mr Firey Dragon: I’M STILL ALIVE!!!! *nom*
Labendran: NO, NOT IOSBY’S  GRANDMA!!!!
Iosby: You have fucking done it now,you little shit.This has been the worst family outing I have ever gone on. First, I tripped and scraped my knee. Then I found out all the lemon sorbet was sold out. Then my wig flew off and I spent twelve bloody minutes trying to pick it up.
Mr Firey Dragon: And uh… your friend and your grandma got eaten.
THEY ALLFUCKINGDIETYHENEB EDKDFM
Labendran: Iosby’s sister, will you go out wiv meh
Iosby’s dog: #woof

To be continued…