Why the hell am I even doing this shit?

"-And that's why you shouldn't mix bleach and ammonia.", I turn away from the white board and look at my students, most of whom are monsters. "Are there any questions?"

A Succubus in the front row raises her and and shakes it around with intense fervor.

"What is it this time, Shanon?", I massage the area between my eyes in anticipation of her question.

"How big is your dick?", the Succubus known as Shanon asks me the size of my dick in a sultry manner.

"For the eighty seventh time, stop asking me that.", I continue massaging the area between my eyes, its name escaping me at the moment, and begin to contemplate switching from being a High school teacher to a Grade school teacher.

A Harpy near the back raises one of her wings, slapping the Elf next to her upside the head in the process.

"Yes, Sarah?", I call out to the Harpy in the back with the enthusiasm of a sober alcoholic.

"The oldies want to know if you'll come with them to one of the local Boozers later?", Sarah speaks in her thick Australian accent.

"No.", I give her an immediate response.

30 minutes pass as I continue to teach my class about various chemicals, Compound, Bonds, ect. I'm a Chemistry teacher, by the way. Before long, the school bell rings, signaling the end of class.

I slump down in my chair as the classroom packs up their things and heads towards their lockers. A few of the students make various sexually suggestive gestures towards me as they head towards the door, with the exception of a Wurm, who crashes through a wall next to the door.

I take a deep breath, and exhale an audible sigh once most of the class has left the room.

After loudly snapping numerous bones in my neck, back, elbows, knees, fingers, and toes, I hop out of my chair and head towards the teacher's Lounge for some coffee with a spring in my step.

Thankfully I don't have to teach a class every period. If I did, I'd probably crawl into a bottle or jump off the roof at some point.

My walk towards the lounge and my dreams of plundering the coffee pot of its delicious caffeinated crack are cut short when a furry, red hand with long claws latches onto my left shoulder.

With the grace of a crane and the precision of a drunk surgeon dual wielding chainsaws, I break free from the light grip and turn around to face whoever grabbed me. Standing in front of me is a very tall Werewolf with long, shaggy red hair and a set of clothing unbefitting someone of her profession.

"What do you want, Claire? I'm in a hurry here."

The wolf girl places one of her clawed fingers on my chest and begins tracing circles with it, inadvertently tearing up my shirt in the process, while slowly creeping around towards my back with an extremely seductive smile on her face. "I just wanted to say hello,-", she stops tearing up my shirt with her finger and places her chin down on my shoulder, "-and to ask you for help with something."

The woman who just tore up my plaid shirt is Claire, the school's Gym teacher. Aside from taking pleasure in invading my personal space, she's had a knack for showing up when she's not wanted. She also likes to leave her classroom unsupervised.

I shuffle a few feet away from her while giving a disapproving look, "Shouldn't you be looking after your class?"

"They'll be fine, they're playing dodgeball in the gym."

"No, that's not what I meant. The last time you left your class alone, two of your students managed to acquire harpoon guns and shot the Art teacher in her tentacles."

Claire looks away and begins scratching the back of her neck, "That only happened once..."

"What about the time before that, when two students somehow got their hands on go-karts and bats, and drove around the school trying hitting people?"

"That was just a freak occurrence."

I let out a grunt as I mash my forehead into the palm of my hand, "Anyway, what is it you need help with?"

"Oh? So you'll help me?", a large smile forms on Claire's face as her tail begins to wag back and forth.

"If it'll get you out of my hair, prevent your students from sneaking out and causing more trouble, and get me into the lounge before the coffee goes bad? Then yeah, I'll help."

"Alright! Follow me!"

The two of us walk down the hall together, towards whatever it is Claire needs help with. Along the way, she did did her best to both stay in front of me and walk seductively.

After a few minutes of walking, we finally made it to our destination.

It's the room we use to store various Gym items, like basketballs and other sphere shaped objects.

I turn my head towards the wolf woman, "Wait, you need help getting something from HERE?"

"Yeah, so?" She turns her head towards me, "What's wrong with that?"

"You need help carrying things from here? The place where everything inside is light enough for an angsty teen with twig arms can lift with NO problem?"

"Yep."

"WHY?"

"Because there are a few boxes I need to grab, and I don't want to make multiple trips."

"......Fine, ok. Let's just get this over with before any more of my time is wasted."

Claire and I finally stop standing in the hallway like idiots, and enter the room, with me going first and her second.

I walk over to the other side of the room, flick the light switch, and watch light pierce though the normally dark room from the little light-bulb on the ceiling, "So what is it we're grabbing in here?"

!?

A pair of furry arms suddenly wrap themselves tightly around my chest and lift me off the ground!

I turn my head around and look at the one holding me, "Claire, what are you doing?!"

"Making sure you don't run away, Joe." The werewolf begins to lightly nibble and lick my right ear.

I try to struggle out of her hold, but fail. It seems that she's not playing around this time. Seeing no other option, I try to reason with her, "Claire, why are you doing this?"

"Because, I've had my eyes on you for a while now." She stops nibbling and licking my ear, and begins to rub her face against the back of my head.

"Why me? Why not someone else like Buzz the shop teacher, or Lue the janitor?"

"Aside from both of them being intimidated by my height, Buzz is to interested in welding and cutting things in his class, and Lue has that disgusting mullet...."

"And just what makes me so much more likable than them?"

Claire stops rubbing the the back of my head with her face, and begins to blush, "Because, I've loved you ever since I first saw you."

What?

"What?"

Claire begins to hold me tighter than before, if someone were to walk in on us it'd look like she's hugging me from behind, "You heard me. I've been in love with you since I first saw you over a year ago."

"So this is why you tricked me into coming in here."

"Yes, so that we can be alone." She begins swaying back and forth, like a love struck high schooler, while still holding me.

!?

Claire suddenly grabs my crotch with her hand and begins to fondle it.

"Whoa!" I jerk about from her sudden, and bold, move.

"What's the matter? You don't like that?"

"It's not that I don't like it, but-" Before I can even finish speaking, Claire cuts me off while making a melancholic expression.

"I see, you don't like me. I should have guessed from how you tend to avoid me." She loosens her hold on me, turns me around, and puts me back on the ground, "I'm sorry for bothering you, Joe."

?

Tears begins to form in Claire's eyes, "I just thought you might have liked me as well." She then turns away towards the door, "I'll be leaving now, I wont ever bother you again."

Before she walks away, I reach my hand out to grab her hand and prevent her from leaving.
But I end up grabbing her ass instead.

"Eh?!" She lets out a little moan in surprise before stopping.

At least it worked.

I walk in front of her, and look into her eyes with a serious expression on my face, "First things first, I meant to grab your hand, and not your ass. And second, I never said I didn't like you, or that I was bothered by you."

Claire's face begins to brighten up upon hearing my words, "R-really? You mean it?"

"Of course I do. I'm just a complicated person, alright?"

"So the reason you didn't want me touching your dick WASN'T because you hate me?"

"No, no. It wasn't that, I just think we should get to know each other first."

Claire's tail begins to wag back and forth like a Bethesda glitch, "Get to know each other? As in a DATE?"

I reach my hand up and put it on her shoulder, "Sure, why not?"

"S-so, how about next week?" Claire asks as she twirls her finger around some of her hair.

"For a date?"

"Y-yes..."

I scratch the side of my jaw, "I'll THINK about it."

In speeds faster than the human eye can follow, Claire, with a large and toothy grin on her face, scoops me up into a rib crushing hug, "Thank you! Thank you!"

I begin slapping her back in an attempt to get her to let me down before she kills me. After a few minutes of gleeful hugging, I'm finally put back down

"Anyway, I better get going before there's no more coffee in the Teacher's lounge. See you." I attempt to turn and leave, but Claire stops me from doing so by grabbing my wrist.

"Before you leave, can you do something for me?"

"Like what?"

Claire adjusts her posture, "Well, remember what happened a few months ago, during the Teacher's meeting?"

"Okay, for the last time, THERE WAS A WASP FLYING NEAR ME! I'M SORRY FOR SMACKING YOU, I DIDN'T SEE YOU!", I frantically move my hands and finger about as I talk.

"You don't need to apologize about that again. In fact-" She moves much closer to me, "-I want you to smack me again."

What?

"What?"

What?

"I want you to smack me, just like you did back then."

"WHY?"

Claire begins to fidget and move about oddly, "Because when you hit me on that day, it's like a switch was flipped! I've never felt anything like that before!"

"I'm not really comfortable with smacking a woman in the face."

"Oh, you won't be smacking me in the face." She turns around, bends over a box, and sticks her ass out after lifting her tail up, "I want you to smack me here~"

"You want me to spank you? Seriously"

Claire begins to sway her hips back and forth, "Yes! I want you to spank me! I've been bad, and need to be punished!"

I stand there and try to comprehend what's happening around me, but with Claire's ass moving back and forth, and Caffeine Withdrawal starting to kick in, that's become impossible.

"Fine. I'll do it before this gets any weirder."

I walk up to Claire, raise my hand into the air, and begin mentally preparing myself.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting ready to do THIS!" I bring my hand down at ludicrous speed, and spank Claire's ass with tremendous amount of exaggerated force!

A loud slapping noise, followed by ecstatic moans, echoes throughout the tiny room.

Claire continues to wag her ass while begging for more, "Yes! More! More!"

I continue to spank her repeatedly over the course of ten  minutes. By the time I'm done, Claire's ass is red, and my hand hurts like hell.

I look at the wolf girl, who's drooling heavily with her tongue out, and begin to rub my hand, "There. Are you satisfied?"

"Yesh..." She weakly moans out.

"Whelp, time to go." I pivot around 180 degrees on my heels, and leave.

I begin to run through the halls, making a B line towards the Teacher's lounge. Along the way, I somersault over various people in the halls.

I'm not going to let them stop me now.

Upon reaching the Lounge, I jump into the air with the grace of a crane on PCP, and do a 10.0 landing on the ground in front of the door.

A heavenly shines upon the area around me as I grab the doorknob, twist it, and open the door.

I walk into the Teacher's Lounge, and turn to the right. There, on the little table where it has always been, stands the coffee brewer.

I walk up to the holy item, and bow before it.

After doing every other little ritual I do upon entering this room,  I walk over towards the coffee pot.

However, upon reaching it, I notice a little piece of paper taped on to the side.

It reads, "Out of Order."

Out of order?

OUT OF ORDER?!

"No! NO!" I curl up into a ball on the floor, and begin rocking back and forth while sucking my thumb.

The coffee brewer is out of order?! How can my day get any worse?!

As if on cue, I hear the noise of go-kart engines, screaming, and what I hope is just a leaf-blower.

I REALLY fucking hate Tuesdays.