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- from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel general #828/666 - Satan Edition
- -------
- >Agent #1 reviews his logs of demonic interference in the living world
- >There's an ever-growing hole in them
- >At some point the entities designated Alpha through Delta just...stopped showing up
- >Period
- >They didn't get sneakier, they didn't wisen up enough to stay away from cameras and well lit areas
- >There hasn't been a single killing in almost a year that bears any of the tell-tale signs of having been carried out by inhuman forces
- >Entity Epsilon, believed to be some sort of benefactor to the other creatures, has likewise been absent
- >It's unclear why, but the scant handful of blurry still frames of Epsilon's grimoire that were captured during the assault on HQ-West provided a means of figuring out what has happened
- >A straight up replication of the sigils wasn't possible, the photos weren't clear enough
- >But with some help from the cryptographers and the forensic handwriting analysts, the arcane runes necessary for creating a bridge to the afterlife were eventually reverse-engineered
- >The trial run proves to be a disaster
- >The runes are drawn with pinpoint precision, in sterile conditions, in a designated space with multiple failsafes
- >Armed personnel are present for the opening of the portal, properly equipped this time
- >All for naught
- -
- >The moment the portal opens, the bloodbath begins
- >A brief glimpse of endless acres of grey stone is all anyone can see before a horde of hulking mechanical monstrosities come pouring in
- >They're bigger than the entities the agency had been tracking, and even meaner
- >Bullets bounce off of them
- >Heavy body armor composed of cutting edge materials is pierced and shredded with ease by vicious paranormal weaponry that defies the laws of reality
- >Reinforcements are called in
- >Just more meat for the grinder
- >More powerful demons begin to appear as the battle wears on
- >Bolts of fire leap out from the maelstrom of smoke and crimson mist, incinerating whole squads as quickly as they enter the testing chamber
- >Lightning bolts arc from man to man, frying nervous systems and leaving behind corpses that reek of ozone and molten plastic
- >A figure emerges from the chaos
- >Different from the ones previously caught on record
- >Golden-haired
- >Pale as skim milk, but with pastel-pink cheeks and a puppy-dog nose
- >Like a china doll
- >But a china doll dressed in a military outfit that practically screams "I put people in front of firing squads"
- >She's flanked by another entity, this one unmistakably male
- >Also golden-haired, but with pale-grey skin and reddish eyes
- >He wears a similar uniform to the first one
- >As the rest of the agency is rended apart by their minions, the pair of higher demons back Agents #1 and #2 into a corner
- >The female speaks
- >"Hell grows tired of your insipid meddling, mortal"
- -
- >Agents #1 and #2 both draw their weapons, but a smaller demon suddenly darts into their midst, his arrival preceded by the clatter of heavy armor plates
- >The pair of meddlesome mortals both find themselves staring into the barrel of a large-caliber handgun of indeterminate make
- >"Give me an excuse, mortals, and I will send your souls to whatever fate you have earned early"
- >"For your sake, I hope you are saved"
- >"If you are damned, we will be waiting for you when you arrive in Hell, and we will not be merciful"
- >"You will go to the front of the line to meet Abaddon"
- >"Overwatch Commander 1789, stand down"
- >The demon lowers his weapons, but keeps them ready
- >He takes a carefully measured step back with rigid precision
- >Agent #2 realizes she recognizes this creature
- >It's Entity Bravo
- >"Moxxie"
- >Believed to be subservient to Entity Alpha ("Blitz"/"Sir") and joined in some formal way to Entity Chi ("Millie"), exact relationship to Entity Delta ("Loona"/"Loonie") unknown
- >That heavy armor is a sharp contrast to the outfit he'd been in upon his initial capture
- >And what's more, he doesn't seem to recognize them, in spite of having spent ample time in their company
- >He looks right through the humans, as if they were nothing but paper targets
- -
- >The China Doll-Demoness steps forward, hands clasped tightly behind her back, unafraid of the demon hunters before her and unbothered by the death-rattles of their comrades emanating from behind her
- >She lectures the humans impatiently
- >"What exactly did you hope to gain, sticking your noses into my realm?"
- >"Some great revelation? Some understanding of your purpose in The Creator's grand scheme?"
- >"There isn't any to be found"
- >"It's very simple: good souls get to go to Heaven and lounge in placid, empty-headed bliss forever. Bad souls end up in MY kingdom."
- >"My kingdom is perpetually overcrowded because of how ROTTEN and WORTHLESS almost EVERY. SINGLE. ONE OF YOU IS."
- >"Heaven used to handle the overpopulation problem for us, but since my father...gave up the crown, I've taken a more direct approach."
- >"Sinners are liquidated with much greater efficiency than any of Heaven's legions could ever hope to achieve"
- >"And not one of them is ever missed"
- >"Bottom line: mind your own business, be good, and pray to any archangel that's still paying attention to this failed experiment that it's enough to save you."
- >"As my brother's bodyguard has already informed you, if you find yourselves in Hell when your souls leave your bodies for the worms, you will NOT find any second chances, that ship has sailed."
- -
- >The Queen Of Hell snaps her fingers
- >"Enforcers!"
- >"Form up!"
- >"Return to base!"
- >She pivots, coat fluttering from the rapid movement, and marches away.
- >Entity Bravo trails behind her obediently, shoving his pistols into their holsters
- >The third demon lingers
- >He's noticeably unhappy and uncomfortable, tugging at the collar of his uniform, as if struggling to breath in the mirthless, restrictive attire
- >"Do as Charlie says"
- >"Be good"
- >"For your own sake"
- >"Save yourselves"
- >"You don't want to see what Hell has become"
- >"It's worse than it's ever been before"
- >His voice drops to a whisper
- >"My sister has gone insane"
- >"Anon!"
- >"Move along!"
- >The last demon shuts his mouth tight and strides away to join the other two as they make their way back to the portal
- >He raises his hand as he walks
- >A harsh arc of electricity leaps out toward the nearest security camera
- >It chains to the next, and the next, then to the computers in the observation room, then along the wiring that connects them to the rest of the internal network
- >Sparks fly as electronics are violently destroyed and records are wiped from existence
- >The stench of overcooked silicon fills the air
- >The lights are the last thing to go, leaving only the macabre glow of the portal to illuminate the room
- >The demons step through it, one by one
- >They speak a cold, dispassionate farewell
- >"We were never here. Forget about us."
- >The portal winks out of existence, leaving the surviving demon hunters standing in total darkness
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