mrkillwolf666

D. Charlie - Agent #1

Sep 4th, 2021 (edited)
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  1. from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel general #828/666 - Satan Edition
  2. -------
  3. >Agent #1 reviews his logs of demonic interference in the living world
  4. >There's an ever-growing hole in them
  5. >At some point the entities designated Alpha through Delta just...stopped showing up
  6. >Period
  7. >They didn't get sneakier, they didn't wisen up enough to stay away from cameras and well lit areas
  8. >There hasn't been a single killing in almost a year that bears any of the tell-tale signs of having been carried out by inhuman forces
  9. >Entity Epsilon, believed to be some sort of benefactor to the other creatures, has likewise been absent
  10. >It's unclear why, but the scant handful of blurry still frames of Epsilon's grimoire that were captured during the assault on HQ-West provided a means of figuring out what has happened
  11. >A straight up replication of the sigils wasn't possible, the photos weren't clear enough
  12. >But with some help from the cryptographers and the forensic handwriting analysts, the arcane runes necessary for creating a bridge to the afterlife were eventually reverse-engineered
  13.  
  14. >The trial run proves to be a disaster
  15.  
  16. >The runes are drawn with pinpoint precision, in sterile conditions, in a designated space with multiple failsafes
  17. >Armed personnel are present for the opening of the portal, properly equipped this time
  18. >All for naught
  19. -
  20. >The moment the portal opens, the bloodbath begins
  21. >A brief glimpse of endless acres of grey stone is all anyone can see before a horde of hulking mechanical monstrosities come pouring in
  22. >They're bigger than the entities the agency had been tracking, and even meaner
  23. >Bullets bounce off of them
  24. >Heavy body armor composed of cutting edge materials is pierced and shredded with ease by vicious paranormal weaponry that defies the laws of reality
  25. >Reinforcements are called in
  26. >Just more meat for the grinder
  27. >More powerful demons begin to appear as the battle wears on
  28. >Bolts of fire leap out from the maelstrom of smoke and crimson mist, incinerating whole squads as quickly as they enter the testing chamber
  29. >Lightning bolts arc from man to man, frying nervous systems and leaving behind corpses that reek of ozone and molten plastic
  30.  
  31. >A figure emerges from the chaos
  32. >Different from the ones previously caught on record
  33. >Golden-haired
  34. >Pale as skim milk, but with pastel-pink cheeks and a puppy-dog nose
  35. >Like a china doll
  36. >But a china doll dressed in a military outfit that practically screams "I put people in front of firing squads"
  37.  
  38. >She's flanked by another entity, this one unmistakably male
  39. >Also golden-haired, but with pale-grey skin and reddish eyes
  40. >He wears a similar uniform to the first one
  41.  
  42. >As the rest of the agency is rended apart by their minions, the pair of higher demons back Agents #1 and #2 into a corner
  43. >The female speaks
  44.  
  45. >"Hell grows tired of your insipid meddling, mortal"
  46. -
  47. >Agents #1 and #2 both draw their weapons, but a smaller demon suddenly darts into their midst, his arrival preceded by the clatter of heavy armor plates
  48. >The pair of meddlesome mortals both find themselves staring into the barrel of a large-caliber handgun of indeterminate make
  49.  
  50. >"Give me an excuse, mortals, and I will send your souls to whatever fate you have earned early"
  51. >"For your sake, I hope you are saved"
  52. >"If you are damned, we will be waiting for you when you arrive in Hell, and we will not be merciful"
  53. >"You will go to the front of the line to meet Abaddon"
  54.  
  55. >"Overwatch Commander 1789, stand down"
  56.  
  57. >The demon lowers his weapons, but keeps them ready
  58. >He takes a carefully measured step back with rigid precision
  59. >Agent #2 realizes she recognizes this creature
  60. >It's Entity Bravo
  61. >"Moxxie"
  62. >Believed to be subservient to Entity Alpha ("Blitz"/"Sir") and joined in some formal way to Entity Chi ("Millie"), exact relationship to Entity Delta ("Loona"/"Loonie") unknown
  63. >That heavy armor is a sharp contrast to the outfit he'd been in upon his initial capture
  64. >And what's more, he doesn't seem to recognize them, in spite of having spent ample time in their company
  65. >He looks right through the humans, as if they were nothing but paper targets
  66. -
  67. >The China Doll-Demoness steps forward, hands clasped tightly behind her back, unafraid of the demon hunters before her and unbothered by the death-rattles of their comrades emanating from behind her
  68. >She lectures the humans impatiently
  69.  
  70. >"What exactly did you hope to gain, sticking your noses into my realm?"
  71. >"Some great revelation? Some understanding of your purpose in The Creator's grand scheme?"
  72. >"There isn't any to be found"
  73. >"It's very simple: good souls get to go to Heaven and lounge in placid, empty-headed bliss forever. Bad souls end up in MY kingdom."
  74. >"My kingdom is perpetually overcrowded because of how ROTTEN and WORTHLESS almost EVERY. SINGLE. ONE OF YOU IS."
  75. >"Heaven used to handle the overpopulation problem for us, but since my father...gave up the crown, I've taken a more direct approach."
  76. >"Sinners are liquidated with much greater efficiency than any of Heaven's legions could ever hope to achieve"
  77. >"And not one of them is ever missed"
  78. >"Bottom line: mind your own business, be good, and pray to any archangel that's still paying attention to this failed experiment that it's enough to save you."
  79. >"As my brother's bodyguard has already informed you, if you find yourselves in Hell when your souls leave your bodies for the worms, you will NOT find any second chances, that ship has sailed."
  80. -
  81. >The Queen Of Hell snaps her fingers
  82.  
  83. >"Enforcers!"
  84. >"Form up!"
  85. >"Return to base!"
  86.  
  87. >She pivots, coat fluttering from the rapid movement, and marches away.
  88. >Entity Bravo trails behind her obediently, shoving his pistols into their holsters
  89. >The third demon lingers
  90. >He's noticeably unhappy and uncomfortable, tugging at the collar of his uniform, as if struggling to breath in the mirthless, restrictive attire
  91.  
  92. >"Do as Charlie says"
  93. >"Be good"
  94. >"For your own sake"
  95. >"Save yourselves"
  96. >"You don't want to see what Hell has become"
  97. >"It's worse than it's ever been before"
  98.  
  99. >His voice drops to a whisper
  100.  
  101. >"My sister has gone insane"
  102.  
  103. >"Anon!"
  104. >"Move along!"
  105.  
  106. >The last demon shuts his mouth tight and strides away to join the other two as they make their way back to the portal
  107. >He raises his hand as he walks
  108. >A harsh arc of electricity leaps out toward the nearest security camera
  109. >It chains to the next, and the next, then to the computers in the observation room, then along the wiring that connects them to the rest of the internal network
  110. >Sparks fly as electronics are violently destroyed and records are wiped from existence
  111. >The stench of overcooked silicon fills the air
  112. >The lights are the last thing to go, leaving only the macabre glow of the portal to illuminate the room
  113. >The demons step through it, one by one
  114. >They speak a cold, dispassionate farewell
  115.  
  116. >"We were never here. Forget about us."
  117.  
  118. >The portal winks out of existence, leaving the surviving demon hunters standing in total darkness
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