Chaos allows all things to be,
despite their contradictions and incongruities. Chaos permits
everything. So when your old self asks if this is what you
want, the answer is not yes or no. It can be yes and no. You
can long for something and dread it in the same breath. You
can want it and loathe it in the same instant. You can love your
father and decide to kill Him. You can yearn for His
acknowledgement and respect, and resolve that the Emperor
must die. These are not incompatible feelings or antithetical
ideas.