Smart Anon in Equestria (Chapter 1?) (AiE)

>Be Anon
>I have many years of experience with many things, some would most likely call me a nerd.
>Me and my fellow humans have created a device beyond belief, it has the power to rip holes through realities for short periods of time, there is only one problem, whenever the device is used it opens a random “Alternate reality” and once it is opened it is very unlikely to be opened again.
>I have spent several days in the experiment room opening the rift between worlds looking for life, then I finally found it.
>I have no friends and nobody cares about me, I was not rich nor poor and I have never had fun once in my life. In short, I have nothing to lose.
>It was very risky given that in alternate realities there is a chance for foreign bacteria killing you quickly but I did it anyways, I jumped through.
>On the other side I looked behind me to see my fellow scientists, they looked quite surprised, I knew they wouldn't follow me it was simply to risky.
>The rip through realities closed after a mere moment and I was stuck forever, I don’t regret my choice, this is gonna be fun.
They were assholes anyways.
>Looking around there are many colorful plants and hills, they were surprisingly pastel colored.
>There was also a overhanging cliff face that looked like it was very stable and dry, I think I will set up camp there.
>There is also a forest nearby, It looks quite ominous and dark, superstitions aside it is probably full of useful resources.
>This is the moment I decided it was a good idea to start making tools, with stones from the cliff face and wood from the forest, it was quite easy to make basic survival tools like axes, knives and hammers.
>Using these tools I created a shelter under the cliff face, if you could call it that, it is more of a rushed half built shack.
>Using knowledge of basic botany I was able to find edible plant life nearby.
Life is easy and I have only begun.
>I was able to plant half of them and I saved the rest for a snack.
Man I am glad I ate before coming here.
>By the time all of this was done it was dusk and I was quite weary.
>I layed in my improvised grass bed.
I hope life here will always be easy, but I shouldn't get my hopes up.
>Boy were you correct, you fell asleep.
…
>20 days latter.
“Aggh crap.” >You get out of bed.
“Yeah I should make a new bed, maybe with some pelts I have collected.”
*Great idea Anon why didn't you think of that earlier?*
Shut up brain.
>You walk out of your shack and grab some tools on the way out.
“Another day of work woo hee can’t wait.”
>You head to a nearby cave and continue to wail away at some iron you found.
“Man all this is some hefty work, I bet after a few weeks I’ll be buff.”
Something just seems off today, I just can’t put my finger on it.
>After loading all your iron in a sack you leave it outside the cave and do some exploring deeper into the cave.
>You light a torch and look around, you find some shiny things.
“Would ya look at that beauty.”
>You find a strange 6 sided crystal, when looking at it from the different sides it changes color, among that and other things you found various lose gems in the cave.
“How the hell was this thing soo… Cube like? Anyways looks like I’ve got myself some new decorations.”
>You hammer some of the loose jewels out and put them in your handy belt sack.
My work here is done, why do I talk to myself anyways? I have no clue.
>After all that you head up to the entrance of the cave to find the iron sack knocked over.
Wtf who messed with my stuff?
>You look around and there appears to be absolutely nothing that could knock your sack over.
“Damn weird world and strange things happening.” >You pick up your iron and sack.
I better get out of here before things get more strange, this isn’t the first time this has happened.
>You head over to your shack and lock the door.
“Well, that went better than expected.”
>After eating some jerky you made you get bored and start looking at your six sided gem thing.
“This object is quite astonishing, I do wonder how it reflects light in such a way.”
>It appears to only show 6 colors orange, yellow, cyan, purple, pink and white.
It is almost like it is part of something important, but this could not possibly be true.
>After a few moments of staring into the gem you decide to add some layers of pelts and wood to your bed.
“Looks comfy.”>You get into the bed
“I can get used to this.”
>You fell into a deep slumber that night, that bed was actually pretty comfy.
…
>You are now in some strange dream like realm, or at least you think you are, from the look of it is just like where you have been the last few days but… colder.
>You feel the sudden urge to leave your shack and see what it’s like outside, you follow that urge.
>Sure enough just outside the door you are met by a strange dark 4 legged creature.
“Well this just went from 0 to what the fuck real fast.”
>Just before you could slam the door the creature stops it with it’s appendage.
>”We wish to speak to thee.”
“Um this is my dream and I get to do what I want so, fuck you.”
>You slam the door close and lock it.
>”Thou acts unfairly to us, we do hope you could change your mind.”
“What do you want anyways?”
>”We only wish to find out more about thee, you’re a strange creature we have never seen before.
What is with all this we and us stuff, it make absolutely no sense.
“Well miss quadruped, maybe you can tell me more about your first.”
>“Thou art fair, I am princess Luna of the land of Equestria. What may thee be?”
“Well I'm Anon, I guess you could call me a scientist.”
>”Let me rephrase that for thee, what kind of creature are thee?”
“O well I am a human, have you never heard of such a creature?”
>”We have never encountered a hue man before, does thou share ancestors with the minotaurs?”
“Wait this place has minotaurs? Ok I'm done I can’t take this dream any more.”
>”We wish to see thee someday, may thou have a joyous night.”
Damn dream creatures and their side tracking thoughts. Man this dream is just to realistic.
>You lay in your dream bed until morning arrives.
…
>3 days later.
“Well my back is a ton better, thanks bed.”>You hop out of your pelt bed.
“Lets see if my new furnace works.”
>You head outside with your hammer and start heating up the furnace.
Yeah the last few days you have been working on a blacksmith forge like thing, it looks pretty crappy but it works and it’s time to make some real tools.
>After a few failed attempts at making tools you got the hang of it, then you forged a pic, hammer and a short dagger like blade, the makeshift sharpener worked well on the new blade.
I think I'll call it Hik-lar, just like my oldest known ancestor.
>You then decide to go for a walk in the woods to find something interesting, you bring basic gear and supplies.
>After about an hour of walking straight through the forest you start to hear voices and walking, they sound like it’s getting closer, you hide up in a tree.
>A few moments later some quadrupeds start walking by.
They bear quite the resemblance to colorful pastel ponies of randomly selected colors.
>”So we are about an hour away from that monster shack we have been hearing so much about.”
>”Yeah didn't they say it also *gulp* ate meat though?”
Fucking talking ponies that speak English, wtf, it looks like one has comically small wings.
Maybe it would be fun to scare them.
>You jump out of your tree and they turn to look at you with horrified looks on their faces.
“Why hello there, what brings you here?”
>One of them falls on the ground and the other flies into the air.
How the fuck did that one fly? Do I want to know?
>The one on the ground whimpers “Please don’t eat me.”
>You walk over to it and cover its mouth.
“Don’t worry I won't eat you, all you need to do is leave and never come back. Deal?”
>You release its mouth. “Y yeah I'll leave just please please don’t kill me.”
“Alrighty then *cracks knuckles* better run.”
>You give him a creepy smile and the pony runs like he just angered Satan or something.
“Damn these intellectual horses and their lack of courage.”
I wonder if that pony in my dream was actually real, doubt it.
>On your way back home you gather some wood for the forge.
“Honey I'm home.” you yell.
>You open your door and leave the wood outside, it’s almost dusk once again.
Everything is still here just how I left it, wait what's that doing?
>Your six sided gem is glowing and switching between the 6 colors.
>You decide to look outside real quick and it sounds like something is coming.
That sounds a lot like some large birds.
>You grab your dagger and some makeshift cloth armor and head outside.
Are those more flying ponies or are they pegasus ponies?
>They are getting closer and start heading towards you.
Fuck did I piss off the local populous or something.
>A cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and a yellow pegasus with a pink mane land a few meters from you.
>”What are you?” Said the cyan rainbow cunt.
“What do I look like?”
>”A hairless ape.”
>You stare daggers at her and she stares back.
“I’m no ape, I’m a human, what are you a horse?”
 >”No, we are ponies, have you never seen a pony before?”
“No not at all, the only ones I have seen were the ones I've seen today.”
>Their jaws drop an unrealistic amount.
>”So umm your not like, from here?” whispers the yellow pony.
“Bingo! Looks like someone just hit the jackpot!” >Yellow pony hides and whimpers behind cyan pony.
>”So mister hue man what are you doing here?” questions cyan rainbow.
“Figured this is a good place to have a vacation, isn’t it great here?”
>She looks at you questionably “Yeah I should get Twilight, don’t you go anywhere you hear me hue man?”
“And leave my humble abode, I would never think of such a thing.”
>They both fly off without another word over the forest away from your house.
Damn these ponies are actually quite adorable, I mean they have enormous eyes how do they use them I wonder.
*Probably like normal eyes Anon.*
Shut up brain.
>You quickly fall asleep that day, all that talking is tiring.
…
>Next morning
>You get out of bed with a hefty yawn and eat yourself a decent breakfast, after doing so you then decide it’s a decent time to start making some iron armor.
I can’t trust these ‘ponies’, they may seem nice and trustworthy but the moment you let your guard down you are as good as dead.
>You grab your hammer and head on over to your furnace.
This is gonna take awhile.
…
>3 hours later.
“Perfection!”
>You take your freshly made chest plate and set it to the side with the other pieces of armor.
Now all I need is some straps to hold it together…
“Time to go hunting.”
>You grab your knife and a bow and head into the woods.
…
>1 hour later.
Look what we got here, 1 nice juicy deer, can’t wait to have some venison tonight.
>Within mere moments you pull the sting back and hook your arm in place.
Good night.
>The arrow flies through the air and goes right through the deer’s skull.
“Headshot.”
>You then take your fresh kill and start to carry it home.
Wow I guess all that heavy lifting did make me buff.
>On the way back home you see a few flying ponies, it’s like they are observing you.
Meh who cares, it’s not like they can kill me or something.
>You then lay your fresh meat on your skinning table outside and start cutting the flesh away.
“Insert song here.”
>After skinning the deer and cooking the meat you enjoy a snack and turn the rest into jerky.
“Ahh this is the life, no money no job, just relaxation.”
>Moments after you were interrupted by a purple ‘pony’ who -teleports?- In front of you.
“What the hell is this shit.”
>”Oh sorry for interrupting your um relaxation. I’m Twilight Sparkle, I was wondering if you would like to move closer to Ponyville so I can study you.”
“You want to study me? Well unless you can use that horn thing to magic me and my house next to this ‘Ponyville’ then I’m not moving.”
>20 minutes later.
“How the hell did you teleport my entire house and me all the way to the forest next to Ponyville?”
>”Have you never seen magic before?”
“No never, I can’t take this, this is just too crazy to think about, I’m taking a nap.”
>”I never did get your name you know.”
“It’s Anon.” >You slam your door close and lock it.
Damn ponies and their magic, I can’t even begin to comprehend this shit.
>You fall asleep thinking about magic and how it shouldn’t exist.