poking smot

This time last year I stopped drinking, poking smot, taking medicine, and drinking caffeine because my brain had convinced my body that I couldn't do any of that without getting crippling anxiety attacks. Letting my brain control my body started to keep me from living my life. I mean, there were points were I couldn't even go out in public without getting random anxiety and feeling like my whole body was going to shut down. I couldn't take a sip of someone's coffee without feeling like my head was falling off of my body, hell I would even cover my face if someone was smoking around me because I was afraid of a contact high and breaking out in another anxiety attack. With all of that being said, this past year I've really worked on myself. I got a job, I pushed myself harder than I ever have before and eventually weekly anxiety attacks became part of my past. I eventually just told myself "hey you can have a glass of wine and you'll be perfectly fine" and oddly enough, I was. This past week I drank coffee for the first time in a year and I was okay. I know this sounds so stupid but dang dude, if you could have seen me last year when I took a sip of that good ole' Dr. P you would be pretty proud of the three cups of coffee I drank comfortably today. I've realized that every person that told me it's all in my head wasn't wrong. I always knew that but I don't think I was ever strong enough to let myself believe it.