Explosive(Not really) Relationships [RGRE] [WIP]

>You feel like garbage
"Augh...Damn."
>Your head throbs as you blink the sleep out of your eyes
>What happened last night?
>You look around, and you're glad to find that you're at least in a bed
>Your bed
>...The best bed
>Shit, you're tired
>You vaguely remember downing an entire bottle of Gryphonian whiskey...and that's it
>Screw it, you'll find out later
>You pull off the covers and sit upright to stretch, joints popping as you go through a range of motions
>Oooh, that's good
>Aaaand judging by how much it stings to try looking out of your window, it should be midday at this point
>Whatever, it's a day off anyways
>With much effort, you drag yourself out of bed and make way for the kitchen
>Coffee's just a bunch of bullshit; what you need is time...
>...
>...and a lot of water
>Yeah, you're going right back to sleep after this
>"Mrrrrrr."
>The hell was that?
>You turn to the noise and find a little pone on your couch
>A pretty one, too
>Pegasus, little shell with a fuse for her butt mark, 9/9 would buy as a plushy
>The mare's all tuckered out, and she kicks her hoofsies every once in a while
>She doesn't snore, and instead mumbles something about donuts every once in a while in sleep
>Wow, that's cute
>But the question is: How did she get here, on your couch?
>You try again to remember more of what happened
---
>'Eat my ass, Big Mac, ya fruity bastard! I'll show what I can do with this pineap-'
---
>Yeah that's enough of last night
>So, there's a mystery mare on your couch, and you have a half-day to burn
>Think, Anon
>If you're the chick who was completely smashed last night and woke up finding a qt3.14 on your couch, what would you do?
>Play victim?
>No, that's too fucked up
>Yell at him to get out?
>But you can't bring yourself to scream at the little horsey
>Snuggle with him?
>Ehh, that sounds about right
>You slowly sit down on the couch and bring the mare onto your lap and entangle her in your arms
>Japanese schoogirls, Batman, she's soft
>Burying your face into her mane, you take a whiff
>Huh
>She smells like a bakery for some reason: Like bread fresh out of an oven with other hints of sweetness
>Well, then again, you don't see any oceans near Ponyville, so maybe that's where she works
>"Huh whuh?"
>Oh, she woke up

>As of right now, you are the definition of regret
>Mare, why did you get drunk last night?
>Ugh, you probably did something dumb while sloshed- you do stupid things everyday even without alcohol
>Wait
>Why are you so...comfy right now?
>You wriggle around, and there's something wrapped around you
>As much as that evidence leads you to believing you ended up in Minuette's dungeon again, her meat locker isn't this warm
>And it definitely doesn't breathe on your head
>Oh no
>It's much worse
>You crack open one eye, expecting to see some spooky scares
>Except there wasn't any
"Huh whuh?"
>It's a regular living room- no whips or hot wax whatsoever, no ma'am
>The bondage on you is just...limbs
>And that means...you're next to a colt
>Nevermind, it got worser
>Because that means you did a bad
>Lil' Sea Shell went out and bedded a colt!
>Most likely against his consent!
>"Morning."
>HE STILL DOESN'T REMEMBER! QUICK! EXPLAIN YOURSELF WHILE BEING SMOOTH AS A CUCUMBER!
"AH, BU-BUH, ERM EHHH-"
>THAT'S THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF EXPLAINING YOURSELF!
>"Woah, there. You alright?"
"I-AHH I'M SORRY I WAS ALIVE I'LL GET THE NEAREST NIPPONE STEEL TO COMMIT SUDOKU-"
>And then everything stopped
>Because it feels like Elysium behind your ears
"Sweet strawberry jam, that feels good."
>"Mmhmm."
>Whatever that colt's doing, it's helping you relax
>And you want more
>"All calmed down now?"
"Err, yeah. I think."
>"Good."
>The good feeling stopped, and you whine in protest
>He chuckles at your frustration
>"There'll be more later. Now, let's figure out what happened last night together."