Lady

"You must've fallen asleep, huh?"

The guard woke with a start, adrenaline pumping as he reflexively engaged the tablet.

"C'mon.  A little late for that, don't you think?"

A plump yellow digit pushed the tablet down, forcing his attention upward.  The chicken stood there with its typical grimace, eyes locked onto his own.

"This is, like, the second night.  It's supposed to be easy, yet here you are," it spoke.

His body and mind seemed at odds on how to respond, resulting in a chaotic tumble to the floor.  The tablet clattered noisily against the floor a moment later, tumbling its way into the dark crevice beneath the filing cabinet.  Despite the situation he couldn't believe the odds.

"Hey!" the machine blustered, "Be careful with company property!  You'll make Freddy real mad with that kind of disrespect."

She reached down and pulled him up by the collar, depositing him on his feet effortlessly.

"Help me get it.  I don't want to scuff the floors more than I have to, so you get on the other side and grab it when I tilt the cabinet towards me, alright?  You getting all this?"

He nodded wordlessly, shuffling into position as his heart hammered in his chest.

"A-Aren't you, you know, supposed to be, uh, deactivated?" he stammered.

"Yeah, you must be new.  Didn't they tell you about night mode?  Either way, grab the thing while I do my part, alright?  There's time for chitchat later, stop being lazy on company time."

It took only two of its robotic fingers to angle the cabinet enough for him to reach.

"Oh, and I'm Chica, by the by.  Nice to meet you.  What's your name, mister?"

He reached for the tablet, feeling a slight sense of relief as the touchscreen blazed to life when his hand neared. "Well, my name is-"

"You know what?  Don't," Chica interrupted.  "The boss told me about this.  Said it was a bad idea to fraternize with the help.  Forget I asked."

"Uh, sure."

Chica's fingers removed themselves from the cabinet, and his reflexes were barely quick enough to get his hands out of the way with the tablet in tow.

"All done?  Good.  Nice job, slick.  Make sure it works now."

He nodded obediently and engaged the device, flitting through the cameras per his usual routine.  The other machines were standing at the ready, it seemed, staring at the camera from their place on the stage.  Waiting.

"Don't mind them," Chica whispered, "they've just taken notice of you.  The usual antics got a little messed up tonight, what with you being asleep at the wheel and all."

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and stared at the floor.  "Yeah, uh, sorry about that.  Won't happen again, ma'am."

"Probably a good idea since they'll be rather cross with you if it does."

Later he would think to himself 'Why did I apologize to a potentially murderous machine?'  But for now it seemed like the best move he could've made.

"We're gonna call it a mulligan tonight, mister guard.  Consider this a freebie, but no more sleeping on the job, alright?  It'll be bad for your health."

He gulped, nodding slightly as Chica made her way out of the room opposite the way she had entered.  She paused just before the threshold, eyeing the well-worn door button.

"Heh.  Watch this, mister.  Hey Foxy, I've got the guard!" she screamed.  "You better get running if you want a piece!"

A cacophony of screeching metal echoed from down the hallway, gaining in volume moment by moment.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"

He only saw a brief glint of the pirate's hook before Chica slammed the door button, sealing the fox outside the room just in time.  The resulting crash was loud and, if he assumed these machines could feel things, rather painful.  Laughter filled the room as the chicken guffawed.

"Hahaha! Did you see that?  What a moron.  That NEVER gets old.  Anyway," she spoke softly, approaching him as he remained seated, "I'm glad you screwed up.  I haven't had any real fun in a while."

She looked down suddenly, and if he didn't know any better she looked... Bashful?

"And I really liked it when you called me ma'am.  It's been such a long time.  And you know, since we're breaking rules tonight, would you mind telling me your name?"

The shock of it all still hadn't quite taken hold, and it all had happened so fast.  The only thing within him still operating normally seemed to be stark honesty.

"Randy.  And this whole thing has been really goddamned weird, if you don't mind me saying so, ma'am."

"Mmmhmm," she seemed to purr, "it sure has been.  But I'm glad."

Without any further ado she descended upon him, her stiff, robotic countenance terrifying as always.  He shut his eyes tightly, too afraid to face the inevitable... But it never came.  A soft pair of lips pecked his own, snapping him out of his cowardly moment.

"Have a good night, Randy.  And don't fall asleep again."