Princess Anon 3/ Shining Armors Blue Balls

You are now Princess Ano-
>SIKE.
>You’re Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Princess of Love!
>You are a very good pony, and you happen to love your aunties VERY MUCH.
>Very, very much.
>Your precious Husband is currently out with the baby which means, you can finally get back to work.
>As you said earlier, you love your aunties.
>You are also the Princess of Love, as again, stated earlier.
>Your job is to help give ponies a little extra push when they belong together.
>You've elected as such, to make Princess Anon become Celestia's official coltfriend. He could also be Lunas. Both could be acceptable potentially.
>....Probably just the one for ethical reasons...
>Or both you're having trouble deciding, what you're certain of however is that they need to be together.
>You hadn’t been sure at first, you can’t lie and say you had been.
>But goodness gracious after that terrible incident with..the forbidden sandwich...
>You'd came out later concerned. Poor Anon’s whole night ruined so bad he said a naughty word. Right in front of everyp0ny!
>Your aunties had been there before you could try to help him recover from the traumatic event! Celestia had wiped down his shirt so gentle with her napkin to try and get the stain out…
>The way Luna laughed, antagonising in such a delicate way, Princess Anon laughing back...
>Your face had been so hot, hardly had time to think about it when you fled the scene.
>Haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since then.
>You may or may not fantasize about it a little.
>Poor..poor vulnerable Anon...so in need...with only your Aunties..
>You imagine he cried before you saw him. You know your precious Shiny would have cried if he had mustard spilled all over his best armor.
>your mind goes from your Husband to Anon in rapid fire. In your minds eye you see it perfect. His cheeks tear stained, your aunties telling him it’s ok, you..
>Oh. Your wings are throbbing, appears you got a bit too into your comfort fantasy for Princess Anon.
>You take a deep breath and regain your composure. you can only become so erect before your feathers begin getting too ruffled and have to ask Aunties for a spa trip.
>Push down your Wings.
>Anon and aunties need to be together.
>You stare at the hidden board you’ve pulled out for your Top Secret Princess Duties.
>Board goes through changes based on need and situation. This week it has pictures of Anon, and your aunties, you paid a photographer a lot of hush hush bits to get these.
>Photos have hearts drawn around them.
>Written beneath in pink Equestrian script cursive is today's plan; Observe and Document.
>It’s perfect!
>You grab your nicest saddle bag, the one you decorated with your favourite stickers. Tuck away some Binoculars, your diary/notebook and a pencil.
>The dark work begins.
---

>Innacastle
>Thinking about it you really wish you had taken some of your pink sparkly gel pens with you instead of the pencil, you guess you could always write over all the pencil with a gel pen later but it would have been more fun to have it now.
>Sigh, life is hard as a Princess but you must put up with it. If not you, who? Nop0ny that’s who.
>”And so you see if we raise taxes by five percent on the top sugar production facilities and…”
>Look at those adorable little hands, Stallions sure do love to be creative when they speak don’t they? You watch entranced as he uses his hands to point at his own special princess board with financial statistics and other large p0ny words you don’t understand yet.
>It’s adorable, if anyone were to hurt Princess Anon you think you’d put them straight into tartarus. Which truth be told does make you feel a little guilty but…
>You aren’t getting enough of your own information here, watching him talk with celestia and some financial dignitaries (who have less of an idea what he’s talking about than you do.)
>Not only that but..
>Shudder.
>There is a world inside of Anon’s pain and you need to go there.
>You nose your head into your saddle bags, admiring your stickers ( Notable ones being from your favourite Marega’s such as Fruits feed bag, Ouran Maid club) pulling out a small bag.
>Shiny’s marbles! You eye over his glassy blue balls inside the bag, you’d have to make sure you didn’t lose any of these-shiny isn’t as into figurines as you are but he likes having his marbles to bounce around.
>Boy Shiny loves playing with his little balls, what you wouldn’t do for your cute husband.
>”And I know that you’re all concerned about chemicals being put into the water but let me assure you that..”
>Your magic envelopes the glass balls and slowly you watch them levitate from the bag, the distance at which you are from the main ‘auditorium’ as auntie Luna called it allows for enough room so you aren’t seen.
>Proceed to scatter them across the floor as quietly as possible in front of Princesses and dignitaries, all while remaining undercover somehow.
>Now you just..needed to wait for..Anon to move..
>”With a fiscal upward towards a 55.8 percentile you can see easily where Equestrian financials are ..”
>This may take a while.
---
>You are now HONORARY Princess Twilight.
>You were having the most wonderful dream, you’d been surrounded by an endless stack of thick..
>JUICY hayburgers. The grease of them had satisfied you into a food induced coma but still, you ate without a wicked tummy ache.
>And then Anon showed up!
>Ruined your whole darn dream-your cardboard wings got pulled off just like they did in real life and everyp0ny laughed!
>As if that hadn’t been enough, when you woke up you’d learned from a royal guard you were missing the big princess meeting!
>Princess Celestia was there! And Anon didn’t even wake you up!
>You can’t even escape Anon in your dreams, but that means you think, that Anon also can’t escape you in his um..life.
>Argh. Stupid Princess Anonymous, if he were here he’d have given you some cooler big pony words off the cuff. Whatever! Before your brain could catch up with your legs earlier, your body had already started running in the direction of the royal court.
>You’d show Anon you’re just as much a Princess as him!
---
>You are now Princess Anon. Official friendship Princess, for some unholy reason. You assume it’s because you’re one of three total people, of which one is you, who knows more than basic math.
>Twilight’s getting there um..slowly.
>Last seen passed out in the library on top of a book written years ago on p0ny math.
>You know this, because you found her on your morning stroll in the Royal Library. Left her some blankets too. She’s gonna think they’re from the sisters, you’re ok with that as long as she keeps warm.
>You will never forget what she did to that poor fucking p0ny who ran the convenience store.
>Shudder.
>Shitlight will at least remain an honorary princess, even if she can’t multiply for fucking beans.
>And also should be kept away from the beans if innocent store clerks have anything to say about it.
>Are you smarter than a fifth grader? If you’re a pony, fuck no.
>Which loops back around to today's official Princess business.
>”I will have you know my father and my father's father and my father’s dog were raised on the Equestrian cake standard!” a handlebar mustache’d p0ny screams back at you “We got bits and we got cake!”
“Sir, please, if we removed the cake backing to the official Bit currency and placed it into another metal reserve it would make currency much more stable. Just take a look at the graph and you’ll see bronze and silver would..”
>”Neener neener neener hydra wieners!” the regal p0ny who had been sitting with him, a delightful thin and tall mare almost looking as dignified as the princess celestia shrunk visibly in her seat next to him.
”Please don’t swear in the court sir...” everything in your brain screams at you reminding what a real swear word is. What you wouldn’t give to say the word cunt, piss guzzler, floppy dicked dolphin fucker, barbara streisand.
>But you’d blast a hole through the wall if you did, especially with the last one.
>”No! I don’t want to! I’m upset with the government and I only know how to yell!” he yells, stomping his hoof. You look over to Princess Celestia behind you, who gives a knowing smile and a nod.
>”Mister Fancypants, please understand if you do not calm down you will have to be put in the court corner until juice box time.”
>”But that..that’s not fair!”
>”Neither is making the court upset with blue language, is it?” She’d raised an eyebrow as she leaned forward in her seat, punctuating her point.
>Fancypants stares with a mouth agape for some time, before looking down and kicking his hoove at the ground. :
>”Yes Princess..”
>Celestia gives you a casual nod and an even bigger shit eating smirk as she leans back into her seat again. Stupid smug sun horse.
>You sigh, pointing back to the chart and getting ready to speak again until, the doors of the royal court open in one single flash of purple light to show an awkwardly running purple unicorn.
>The one and only Honorary Princess Twilight Sparkle, you knew this was bad somehow but not because of the rude interruption. Most of them (p0ny folk that is) did something similar at least once during the day.
>”Puh..” she wheezes out in a loud yelp “Princess! I’m here Princess I can help now! It’s me! Twilight Sparkle, here! To help!” the words echo throughout the hall and you’re certain Celestia herself is blushing at the embarrassing display.
>Somewhere you hear a little ‘oh no..’ ring out in the distance.
>Twilight is all smiles, covered in sweat, looking pleased as punch right up until she steps on a blue marble sitting in the middle of the floor. Then another and more, marbles cascading from under her she propelled chaotically forward into the crowd of p0nies who all began screaming in abject terror as the little purple hiroshima came to them relentlessly.
>Ask not for whom the Twilight tolls, she tolls for thee.
>No god smiles upon Equestria today as the first to get up and attempt to flee the terror is Fancypants who begins slipping on marbles, taking his wife with him as the slide and crash to the ground, an obstacle which upon Twilight’s hitting sends her flying into the air.
>P0nies from below looked down in terror getting ready to scatter but proving too slow, as the rest of the crowd got up and began attempting to flee in different directions. Twilight unmercifully lands on a group of three p0nies, farting rhythmically in the process.
>P0nies under her begin crying, which causes p0nies around the crowd to begin crying in confusion and terror. Barons and bankers and concerned citizens alike all tripped over marbles, sliding into different areas thumping into both walls and themselves. The lucky ones only fell to the floor.
>Celestia calls for the royal guards to intervene, among them watching today includes your bro shining armor, but attempts to interact with the crowd only lead to more bumper p0nies.
>You cover up your face in exhaustion, the gentle clip clop of hooves as Celestia comes behind you. Feeling her wap a large white wing around her, you sigh heavily.
>These fucking horses, man.