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a guest Feb 28th, 2020 223 Never
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  1. You should draw a puma wearing puma shoes,
  2. Fricking lost it here,
  3.  
  4. Cartoon network, cartoon network,
  5. Ebay, ebay,
  6. Nickelodeon, nickelodeon,
  7. Pepsi, pepsi,
  8. It’s like these companies have finally gotten out of their wild college party years and are now trying to be mature adults now,
  9. Same goes for the windows logo,
  10. I mean look at this crap,
  11. It’s like someone just ironed the logo,
  12.  
  13. Great britain, okay britain,
  14. You didn’t try at all britain,
  15. You are drunk, go to bed britain,
  16. Your drinking problem is getting out of hand, britain,
  17.  
  18. Wait a minute, wait a minute, are those fricking slippers, who the frick wears slippers to work, the same guy that forgets his grandson’s name,
  19.  
  20. World’s oldest cat is 31 and still have many lives left,
  21. Adorable tabby cat named nutmeg is a contender to be the world's oldest cat as he celebrates his 31st birthdays, which is equivalent to 141 human years,
  22. Keep reading,
  23. He looks thrilled,
  24.  
  25. Caution, automatic doop, caution, wet floop,
  26. Open the doop, get on the floop, everybody walk the dinosoop,
  27.  
  28. Who the frick genuinely enjoys the taste of sour candy, who the frick says, i’m going to eat this sugary sweet coated in pain salt and i’m gonna fricking like it,
  29. Me, feed me the pain salt,
  30. If my eye isn’t twitching it’s not sour enough,
  31.  
  32. 80’s music brings me back to good times like when i wasn’t alive,
  33.  
  34. This robot turns your bath into anime water,
  35. Get in the fricking bathtub shinji,
  36.  
  37. These cats look like they’re in a girl gang,
  38. How can i join,
  39.  
  40. How can my feet smell if they don’t have a nose,
  41. The guys who wrote this show were literally on so many drugs it’s unbelievable it ever aired on cartoon network,
  42.  
  43. Once i was walking home with some law school friends and they were like, why are you walking up that street, your street is like three more streets up,
  44. Yeah but there’s a house on this street and sometimes their golden retriever naps in the sun on the sidewalk and i like to give him belly rubs,
  45. Now all the law students walk up belly rub lane because law school is stressful and dogs rock,
  46. I bet that is the happiest dog,
  47.  
  48. C d i characters have no business being so easy to draw that i can do it with a mouse and using my non dominant hand,
  49. I genuinely thought this was a frame from the game’s cutscene,
  50.  
  51. 1 horsepower, 1,490 horsepower, the museum of flight,
  52. Dang why is the horse so weak,
  53. Why, would a horse have more than one horsepower wh,
  54. This is an unfair fight how is the horse gonna survive with only 1 horsepower left,
  55.  
  56. How could i live in the same house as this vicious monster, i’m trembling with fear,
  57.  
  58. My dong is thhhhhiiiiiiiiiissssssss big,
  59. Hello 911 someones just been slaughtered right in front of me,
  60.  
  61. Aang, you can throw rocks with your mind, he never showed me how to use a boomerang,
  62. This is my favorite,
  63.  
  64. What could you possibly need wrenches this size for,
  65. R p g melee weapon,
  66. When you have intel to defend,
  67. Would you kindly,
  68.  
  69. You might think this is a cat, but actually it is, only 100 percent mozzarella,
  70. That’s the fluffiest mozzarella i’ve ever seen,
  71.  
  72. Bread knife, the french have grown more powerful, anxious english muttering,
  73.  
  74. When microwaves first came out, there were probably little old ladies who ran them empty because they thought they had to pre heat them,
  75.  
  76. Why are you here, andrew texted me and said robbie got hurt, so, i brought a watermelon, why, robbie loves watermelons,
  77. Beck was a real friend,
  78.  
  79. There was a bunny at lowes today eating all the flowers,
  80. Haha you go lil bun, fight the power,
  81. Live the dream, small friend,
  82. A criminal,
  83.  
  84. Middle fingers up, if you don’t give a,
  85. Whispers quietly so my parents can’t hear me, frick,
  86. Police sirens, helicopter blades whirring,
  87. Gavin screaming, who the frick is gavin,
  88.  
  89. Absolute madman, self portrait,
  90.  
  91. Punk, punk, punk, punk, punk, punk, punk, punk, punk, punk, punk,
  92. This is why i shouldn’t be let outside,
  93.  
  94. Me, taking a sip from my mayonnaise jar, i drink to forget,
  95. W, why, to forget,
  96.  
  97. You know what, this whole being alive thing kinda slaps, i mean, it’s not an absolute banger or anything but it goes off sometimes,
  98. The aliens a thousand years from now brushing up on their 2010’s slang in order to comprehend what this is saying,
  99.  
  100. What happens if you mix up suburban white mom, i can’t function without coffee, facebook culture and edgy anime glittergraphix emo internet culture because i have an idea,
  101. When your husband wont take you to walmart,
  102.  
  103. The first time you see how cashew nuts grow, you’re gonna think somebody’s posting a joke picture or a weird art installation,
  104. Okay but you say this, then don’t give us pictures,
  105.  
  106. God put me on this world and said, let this dumb as roam, we are all gods roombas that he’s let loose,
  107.  
  108. 1, act like you were never a bad person at all, throw away clothes that remind,
  109. High school bullies becoming nurses,
  110.  
  111. Am i right, giles, i’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, i wasn’t listening,
  112. It’s a sign of growing up that i identify more and more with giles,
  113. We all become giles, in the end,
  114.  
  115. Oh my god, i only glanced at this and i thought it was a raptor getting married,
  116. I’ve stared at this for a good minute and a half and i still think it looks like a raptor getting married,
  117. I didn’t know it wasn’t a raptor getting married until i read those comments,
  118. I still have no idea what this is if it isn’t a raptor getting married,
  119. I would marry that raptor,
  120. So is the raptor getting married or no,
  121.  
  122. O m f g the brown one has angry eyebrows,
  123. Yes this is my deer friend, deer friend is pretty like snow, you hurt deer friend i will hurt you,
  124.  
  125. How big are your boobs, haha 34 b, that barely makes sense to me but okay, how else am i supposed to tell you, like, 1 and a half cup of squishy,
  126. Boys are dumb, what answer was he expecting, fruit sizes,
  127. Bra cup size, estimated fruit size equivalent,
  128. A, lemon,
  129. B, orange,
  130. C, grapefruit,
  131. D, melon,
  132. Well, i’ll be damned, there’s a fricking chart,
  133.  
  134. The atoms that make up my body aren’t mine, it’s just my time to use them,
  135. Mum says it’s my turn with the carbon,
  136. You had the oxygen for 3 hours yesterday,
  137.  
  138. Homoerotic subtext, high school english teachers, me,
  139. College professors, homoerotic subtext, me,
  140.  
  141. Cringe, cringe, cringe, cringe, based, i tap your head, run around the circle, and take your seat,
  142.  
  143.  
  144. All hail the instant noodles,
  145. College students,
  146.  
  147. Tighten up whatever you humans have instead of bolts, and let’s get going, phoo weep,
  148. Clench your as holes lads we’re on the hunt for pirates,
  149.  
  150. Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person,
  151. Think of yourself as a beautiful squid,
  152. Thank you, this is exactly what i needed today,
  153.  
  154. Went on a little rant today,
  155.  
  156. Samsung invents as robot to prove phone won’t bend,
  157. You had me at as robot,
  158.  
  159. Eat my crap,
  160. What’d you say,
  161. I said, eat, my, crap,
  162. Have you lost your mind,
  163. No, ma’am, but you just about to, cause you just did,
  164. If you do not think this is one of the best scenes in cinematic history, you are wrong,
  165.  
  166. Not to brag but i’m a solid 0/10,
  167.  
  168. Nintendo, announcing the limited edition animal crossing switch,
  169. Rover, you have money, right,
  170.  
  171. Doesn’t the term, staff member, make you laugh because those 2 words mean penis,
  172. What have you done,
  173.  
  174. Dog collar,
  175. Do i have to kinkshame a skeleton,
  176. Atmospheric storytelling,
  177.  
  178. I’m playing oblivion and i stole a wheel of cheese from a store and then like 2 hours later i’m in an oblivion gate drowning in lava and a guard swims up to me and is like, stop right there, my bounty is 5 gold and this dude is on fire trying to arrest a cheese thief,
  179. Employee of the month,
  180.  
  181. The first design of what voldemort was supposed to look like, thank god they didn’t chose this one, imagine the trauma, i had enough with the screaming book,
  182.  
  183. She’ll die on her own, i can live with that, but you won’t get your new sled if she’s dead,
  184. Did anyone else think it was really weird and uncomfortable that kristoff had conversations with himself by impersonating his reindeer,
  185. People who think this is weird probably don’t have pets,
  186.  
  187. When you have anxiety over something incredibly stupid and you know it’s stupid but the anxiety won’t go away,
  188.  
  189. I will be forever grateful that of all the deaths in harry potter, professor mcgonagall was not one of them,
  190. Professor mcgonagall can’t die when the reaper comes for her she just stares at them and they apologize and walk away,
  191.  
  192. Stop animal testing, never, sir, the tests are in, and, the rats are all in hufflepuff, fricking knew it,
  193. This is how one constructs a joke,
  194.  
  195. I made a playlist for hiking, it has music from peanuts, the cranberries, and eminem,
  196. I call it my trail mix,
  197. Slowly closes laptop and stares pensively into sunset,
  198. At last, i have found it, the dad joke to end all dad jokes,
  199.  
  200. I will flourish this year and no one can stop me,
  201. Then flourish,
  202.  
  203. I hope he enjoys his meal,
  204.  
  205. I’m telling,
  206.  
  207. She’s always in everyone’s dang business,
  208. Who,
  209. Who do you fricking think, you nosy beach,
  210.  
  211. Yeehaw, my name is spinch, this is my horse, spinch, that’s right, same name, is it confusing, i don’t care,
  212. This man is my fricking hero,
  213.  
  214. Hey quick question whoever’s developing the w w e games now, what the frick,
  215. It helps him eat small fish,
  216.  
  217. I really hate when flies rub their hands together, what the frick are you planning you little as hole you have a lifespan of like 3 days,
  218.  
  219. Wow, you look, stop eating hot, which is, like, the highest level of hotness,
  220. Adulthood is realizing joey was the sweet guy and ross is a dong,
  221.  
  222. Anyone who says you can’t give flowers to boys clearly hasn’t tried it, seriously, give a boy some roses, they get adorably flustered and go all red, it’s the most precious thing, give more boys flowers,
  223. Crush stereotypes now, we love flowers, give us flowers,
  224.  
  225. When i die i want my heart donated to nasa so they can finally see what a black hole looks like,
  226.  
  227. Me, a person being nice to me, is this flirting, me, a person flirting with me, is this being nice,
  228. Best one yet,
  229.  
  230. What the frick dude,
  231. Step the frick up kyle,
  232.  
  233. As a gamer i refuse to drink anything unless it’s in my sippy mug,
  234. Finally something we gamers can drink out of,
  235. Oh thank god, i’m so thirsty,
  236.  
  237. Inside willy wonka’s chocolate factory, willy, everything you see in this room is edible, me, everything, looking at willy’s phat as,
  238. Willy, under his breath, everything,
  239. Do y’all think before you post,
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