Space Funeral 4: The Parmingulator Text Dump

--SPACE FUNERAL 4: THE PARMINGULATOR DIALOGUE DUMP--

I will be censoring major swear words, as Pastebin has strong censors in that department. This will only cover dialogue, not text in the database.

It is good life here in POOPIE TOWN They say town here is nation symbol of MATURITY
Remember IN RPG you must TALK like THIS!
Do not be good behavior! Remember lesson yes?
You MOTHER? I never see her today. Don't be silly! Maybe she is in BRAINDEAD VALLEY. Do not tell mother I say that.
YOU ARE AT POOPIE TOWN
Got 50 MONEY! Good, yes?
I have item sale! Welcome to shop!
Got BRAIN JUICE! Good, yes?
I wish I was good explorer like FART BUTT... He is handsome!
My LEGS very powerful! You watch yes?
They say KREMLIN OF IDEAS is magic place wher IDEA become TRUTH...! Do not tell mother I say that.
Fighting enemies? HA! Oldy moldy game mechanic for CAVE MEN. In new gam you just poke enemy and they are dead. But bosses might actually take a hit! Literally. Wave of future. You wouldn't understand
You see BOXES? Those have item! You see SIGN? Those have message! You see MAIL? Those also have message!
It is OPENED MAIL! Read yes? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It say... "DO NOT WATCH THE CAT TV" This letter STUPID!! What do it mean?
You press DIRECTION KEY to move. Impressed?
YOU ARE AT BRAINDEAD VALLEY
It is OPENED MAIL! Read yes? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It say... "STOP AND SMELL ROSES" Too bad they all smell like SH*T.
YOU ARE AT BRAIN TRAIN STATION
GROOVY MUSIC! This give me SURREAL VIBE man.
I love ride on train today!
I am free!
Wife and I escape CARTEL! Do not go into DESERT ok sinor?
Hello! Yes. It is I, I am the FART BUTT! Great explorer of all land is me yes. I am on important quest needing your help! I must go to the DANGER DUNGEON to find NO MAN who gide me to KREMLIN OF IDEAS. KREMLIN OF IDEAS is beng take over by a EVIL DOER known as... THE PARMINGULATOR! We must defeat PARMINGULATOR or else no mor idea! Everything being dumb STUPID idea from now on! We must JOIN FORCES to STOP PARMINGULATOR! You say your name FRED? THat is good name yes. Together we will being UNSTOPPABLE! They cannot defeat the FART BUTT! FART BUTT join party yes. Now we must get on train before leave! It is only way to DESERT OF DUMBNESS
Remember eat all your VEGTABLES! Don't be an ASSHOLE! Do not tell mother I say that.
When I am on TRAIN I always TRAIN LEGS. It is part of reason why I am GOOD FIGHTER. You take advice, yes?
It is OPENED MAIL! Read yes? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It say... "I HEAR A THING COMING FROM WALL" What? That is it?
You buy ticket, yes? Give 10 MONEY for TICKET, yes? [Yes/No] [Yes]: You get TICKET OF TRAIN! [Yes If Not Enough Money]: SHUT UP AND GET MONEY IDIOT
All aboard!
Train ride good, yes? But there no CHEESE SNAK! We must speak to CONDUCTOR.
It sure taking while to get to GOOD SMART CITY! I sure hope we do not get stuck in DESERT OF DUMBNESS along the way!
I dig vibe, man! I like DARK HUMOR of BRAIN TRAIN. Speaks about FUTILITY of LEVEL DESIGN. Streamline for groovy experience!
When I get to DESERT CITY I will do MANY DRUGS!
I am TRAINING on TRAIN like I say! 1 2 3! 1 2 3!
Conductor? Hello? It is I, the great FART BUTT! Where are you at? GASP!! FRED, look! GROSS GOBLIN ate CONDUCTOR! He pay dearly for it! LETS GET HIM! Fool! I tell you I AM conductor of BRAIN TRAIN! Leave me alone please! Who... drive train... now...? Oh no, FRED... We... We kill conductor! \S[10]... oh hey, it is here at DESERT OF DUMBNESS! Our stop! We must hurry go!
Gee golly, I love train ride!
Got SUPER BRAIN JUICE! Good, yes?
I say good man! You like SPOT OF TEA WITH THE CRUMPETS? But if you go into DANGER DUNGEON in the KILL WOODS I hear there NO RETURN... Spooky! Do not tell mother I say that.
Got SUPER WIENER! Good, yes?
YOU ARE AT DESERT OF DUMBNESS
It no use. TRAIN is BROKE.
YOU ARE AT CARTEL CASTLE CITY
Oh no... the CARTEL has taken DESERT CITY... We must defeat them! They will fear name of FART BUTT!
The CARTEL took my POT and replace with POT! WHAT THE HECK!
THOSE MEANIES DESERVED TO DIE!
THIS IS BULLSH*T!!!
Those F*CKERS! Ha ha!
Holy taco... I do not like CARTEL!
Holy taco... You beat cartel?!
CARTEL is EVIL! They RUIN ENTIRE CITY with power of the DRUG!
Help me.
f*ck you get out
do not touch my chair
Deep... Sublime...
Be careful or CARTEL will CAR-TELL mother on you.
Finely I focus on other thing.
It is OPENED MAIL! Read yes? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It say... "PUT PEANUT INTO PEANUT HOLE" Now there is idea.
It is OPENED MAIL! Read yes? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It say... "YOU ARE INSANE" I never felt more sane in entire life.
Rough town. I still have item thogh... Do not tell Cartel...
Got MAGIC HAT! Good, yes?
I remember time when DESERT CITY was GOOD with WEALTHY CULTURE and HAPPY. Now when CARTEL has me locked inside house, I just sit and cry.
Now I cry happy tear. This is beutiful day!
Sinor I am in constant PAIN.
Don't be such a BOOB! Remember to SAVE your PROGRESS! This is difficult and long game. A lot went into make this!
I HATE THE CARTEL!!! HEY SINOR CARTEL MAN! F*CK YOU!
You hate CARTEL to? Yes!
Good.
Thank you sinor! Have GIFT ITEM You get DONUT! Very good, yes!
I just am getting comfortable.
Got MAGIC SHIRT! Good, yes?
FLIP SWITCH YES?
And now I am flip switch... Yes...! YES! ALIVE! IT IS BEING ALIVE! HAHAHAHAHA! With new monster I will trying of take over the world! You! Stop! I am the FART BUTT! Unhand MONSTER now or die! You FOOL! I am CARTEL MASTER! RULER OF ALL DRUGS AND EVIL!!!! And with new monster I CRUSH YOU! I will have army of monster! Hey, f*ck you! Me will be drinking of BOOZE and getting JIGGY with it! BOOZE GOOD! FOOL! I am the one who creat you! CARTEL BAD! ME JOIN GOOD GUYS! ME NAME FRANK! FRANK joinging of party today. Good job, FRANK! Now we beat him to pulp for all of HONOR and JUSTICE! I am the FART BUTT! fufufu...! I have CARTEL MENS who is helping of me we will shoot you! I pitty the foo what be havin a BABY HEAD! You have kill me...! Good. His reign of TERROR is being OVRE now. We must keep to press onward! Perhaps it in the SUSPECT BOX...
It is stuck.
You open box... It is secret pass way! Go through?
It is secret pass way! Go through?
Got WIENER! Good, yes?
Water you wait four? Come on in! Ha ha ha!
Use BOAT to go TOO FAR?! You crazy, yes?! Do not!
You see what you happen when you use boat too far?
GROOVY PALLETS, MAN! I dig scene of beach! BREAD is symbol of STABILITY in theory of RELETIVITY and DEVINE ORDER.
Please do not use BOAT go too far.
I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE BOAT
I need warn you do not use BOAT too far! There is BAD THING over there!
EEK!
CAUTION! BE DO NOT USE BOAT TO FAR!
I TOLD YOU
YOU ARE AT BREAD BEACH
It is OPENED MAIL! Read yes? [Yes/No] [Yes]: It say... "DO NOT DRIVE BOAT OUT TOO FAR" Weird.
I tan legs! Look good, yes? no?
I see weird thing come from woods... Some people go to woods and never come back... And remember do not use BOAT too far.
THERE HE IS
Here in BLANDAHAR there was will be BREAD STATUES on BEACH. It was will be relic of SIMPLE TIME when we were has been BREAD MAKING PEOPLE And do not use BOAT too far.
You should not do that.
Beach time... BEACH TIME GOOD... Hey! We are nearly at the DANGER DUNGEON so we meet NO MAN. He know what do to get at the KREMLIN OF IDEAS. Press onward men!
Got MAGIC RING! Good, yes?
Oh the shark has pretty teeth dear, and he shows them pearly whites... because that shark sees them golden lights, babe! DINNER! At McDonald's... I kick youre ass tonight! GET OUT OF WAY OR I MOVE YOU! YOU GO TOO FAR IN BOAT! DO NOT ENTER FORBODDEN LAND! LEAVE NOW OR YOU PAY THE PRICE! [Yes/No] [Yes]: Good. Get ass back on boat and LEAVE. This land is TOO DANGEROUS. [No]: *BZZZT* Do not say *CLICK* I did not *BZZZT* W...A...R...N... Y... O...U... That was annoying... Wait. I sense DISTURBANCE... Oh... Just as expected... There is great EVIL eminating from next AREA... Or MEDIOCRITY. Could be either one.
I got SUNBURN!! GIVE ME LOTION [Yes/No] [Yes]: GIVE ME IT I put on now... that much better. thank you a lot! Have cold one on me. You get VODKA! Very good, yes! [Yes If No Lotion]: You not have LOTION...
that much better. thank you a lot!
Happy beach time for all! I have MAGIC ITEM for you as sale!
YOU ARE AT KILL WOODS
Got SECRIT SONG COIN! Good, yes?
Go watch TV... It make you happy like... One of us... One of us...
One of us...
RIP AL GORE
RIP VICK THIM
RIP WOODY CHIPPER
in BAD VILLAGE all are BOBCAT. entire village economy based on MONEY LAUNDRYING SCHEME by CHINESE MAFIA.
YOU ARE AT BAD VILLAGE
YOU ARE AT HOME
This grave is blank.
RIP ROBEATNIK
RIP MAC COBB
RIP RICK R. MORTICE
You look WEIRD.............
RIP LOU KOUT
RIP FRED
RIP BEA WAER
pay respect in GRAVEYARD is favorte PASSTIME.
RIP MORT ICIAN
RIP GEORGE JETSON
RIP HUGH R. INDANGER
This D*CK is too big to fit in butt! I can't even reach...
it is our job, but we are not mean! and remember be careful of KILL WOODS... there are DANGER DUNGEON wich even us BUBSYS being scared of it!
We will always have each other.
Spooky stuff, man! I am dig it! This game is very SUPER SCARY! I am try next!
...WOW!! THIS GROOVY GAME BREAK GROUND AGAIN!!! I am DOLL CAT because BACKGROUND OBJECT! Spooky! It is clearly commentary on society pressure to conform to THE MAN and the MEDIA brainwashing the people masses... Mondo GROOVY dark humor daddy-o!
Watching TV? [Yes/No] [Yes]: You sure you do want that ok? [Yes/No] [Yes]: FRED watch TV for LONG TIME. Are you... HAPPY? [No]: Decided not to watch TV... for now... [No]: Decided not to watch TV... for now...
Are you... HAPPY?
Wow I buy ITEM. I am DUMB and BAD for buying item here. Everyone in BAD VILLAGE is dumb and bad.
This is BAD SHOP. DO NOT BUY ITEM OR GROCERY HERE OR YOU ARE DUMB.
YOU ARE AT DANGER DUNGEON
Maybe... It not see us... CRAP! We did it boys! Onward to VICTORY! RRRRAHHH!!! I AM FRANK!!!
I am NO MAN. Say "YES" and you DIE. [No/Yes] [No]: Good... I like NO. I know what it is you seek... You must know KREMLIN OF IDEAS is near... There is EXIT in this HAUNTED DUNGEON that lead to SIBERIA. You will come face to face with the PARMINGULATOR... Source of all EVIL... Unless you fail final challenge... Fare well... NO MAN parted into AFTER LIFE. RIP NO MAN [Yes]: I am telling mother.
YOU ARE AT SIBERIA
CONGRATULATIONS ENJOY SECRIT SONG!!
FREEZE IN SIBERIA is better than go back...
It is I... the PARMINGULATOR... But you might know me better as... MOTHER. I can't believe... You kill... Youre own mother... We do it! We kill PARMINGULATOR! Peace at last! RURRRR!! PEACE GOOD! LET US BOOGIE! Well job, [entered name]! You complete great gam! Did you enjoy game yes? Bullsh*t...! You call this game? This not even game. I throw gam together in few days... TOO easy. Any asshole with computer make gam like this. But even then I feel brain cell dying making this piece of crap! So you must be... TRUE Parmingulator! Parmingulator? HA! I make word up on spot. Meaningless like this game... Let me show you how REALLY play with power! [If Win Battle]: HOW DARE YOU HACK GAME YOU BABY HEAD! [If Lose Battle]: Real good work is tough but sweet like turnip from mother land. This make good game, but this game has not that... It is lazy and random. It is rotten turnip... And with that I say, [entered name], I go home now. But first let me see what you bring for me... [If Vodka and Donut Exists]: Oh? What is this?... HOLY WAY! Vodka and donut! For me? Thank you, [entered name]! This is much nice of you. You deserve reward. Happy Christmas. Happy ending, yes? Wait!. no!. I don't mean like tha [If Vodka Exists]: Oh! Vodka! Thank you. have good day. OK ending. [If Donut Exists]: Oh! Donut! Thank you. have good day. OK ending. [If No Donut Or Vodka]: Oh look. A bunch of garbage. Gee, thanks. Shut up. Sad ending.