Burger King

>last year
>at burger king
>ordering two large whoppers, onion rings, and milkshake
>"here you go sir, enjoy your meal!"
>"you too"
>"what?"
>"...n-nothin but guts!"
>think to myself "wtf that didn't make any sense"
>awkward silence
>she tells her co-worker she's going to the bathroom and starts to leave
>"wait I didn't mean that let me start over please!"
>she goes through a door out of sight
>"WAIT!"
>I try to jump over the counter but forget my meal is right in front of me on the counter
>slide over the counter and onto the floor on the other side
>huge mess, my meal and clothes are ruined
>burger king employees yelling at me
>run after her into the women's restroom
>"cashier girl are you in here!? I'm sorry what I said wasn't what I meant please let me start over!"
>"what the hell, get out of here!"
>"no please listen what I meant to say w-was I-I want to be with you"
>she screams
>another woman comes in the restroom and sees me covered in whoppers and onion rings with my pants down and screams
>notice my pants are down
>a black guy in a grimace costume drags me outside and tells me I'm banned from burger king
>I demand a refund for my food
>he tells me to fuck off
>I call him a double nigger
>he gets mad and chases me across the parking lot
>"wait stop it was a joke I found on the internet stop apeing out you faggot!"
>he tackles me and beats me up
>I lay there crying in the burger king parking lot for 5 minutes slowly eating the onion rings in my underwear
>suddenly the police pull into the parking lot
>run
>hide on the other side of burger king and try to kill myself with a toothpick before they catch me
>wake up a few hours later in a hospital with a $4,000 medical bill and $500 fine for indecent exposure or something
>my mom comes to visit me in the hospital
>"mom you said I could find a girlfriend if I dressed nice and got outside...why did you lie to me?"