you touch etc happy

ALL right, Happy...







...nice and easy.







That was not nice and easy.







That guy is driving ne crazy.







What's driving ne crazy is

you not getting the ball in the hoIe.







Don't push ne, Bob.

Now's not the time.







Jackass.







This guy sucks!







We haven't seen Gilmore play this badIy

since his first day on tour.







He and Bob Barker

are now dead Last.







You should be working at the snack bar,

not playing golf.







Relax, Bob.







There is no way you could have been

as bad at hockey as you are at golf.







Okay, Iet's go.







You Like that, oId nan?!

You want a piece of ne?







I don't want a piece of you.

I want the whoIe thing!







Now you're gonna get it,

Bobby!







The price is wrong, bitch.







I think you've had enough.







No?







Now you've had enough.







Bitch.







That couldn't have gone better.







Instead of hitting you,

he hits Bob Barker.







Perfect.







So, see you

at the next tournament?







No need. This was on nationaI TV.

Gilmore is gone.







Let's get something at the Red Lobster.

My treat.







Sone other time.







I thought we were friends.







We are. I just have to go.







I'II be at the Red Lobster

in case you change your nind.







God bIess!







There you are.







Happy Gilmore,

cone on down!







Thank you, Shooter.

Sit down.







So you got in a fight with a game show

host on nationaI TV.







That is not entertainnent.







This is not hockey,

no natter how nuch you want it to be.







I know that and I’m sorry.







But there was a guy out there...







...giving ne crap. It took all I had

not to hit hin.







So you head-butt Bob Barker?

Who won that fight, anyway?







Enough, Shooter.







The board has done the foIIowing:







Fined you $

and suspended you for one nonth.







-What?! I got to play!

-What?! Kick hin off the Tour.







The board thinks

that night be extrene...







...considering the fact

that our ratings were...







...the highest we've ever had.







My grandmother's house

got repossessed.







If I don't win more prize money,

they'II seII it to someone else.







Whoop-dee-doo.

Get out.







It's over. My grandmother

will never see her house again.







But you've nade a Iot of money.

You could buy her a nice condo.







My grandfather didn't buiId

any condos with his bare hands.







Dann it,

I hate that Bob Barker.







There nust be

another way to get the $     .







I don't want to taIk about it.

I falled, okay?







Let ne just enjoy the one thing

that makes ne a bit happy...







...this fresh, deIicious, tasty...







...neaty, turkey-fiIIed...







...CoId Cut Conbo. I eat three

every day just to keep ne strong.







Hey, Happy...







...can I have one of those?







Coning right up!







TaIk about a hoIe in one.







Subway sandwiches

will drive away your hunger.







What do you think?







I Love it. He Looks so handsone.

And it makes ne hungry.







They gave ne a card

that gives us free Subway for Life.







That's LoveIy.







You know what else is LoveIy?







That connerciaI puts us up

to $      .







Let's go get your house back.







What the hell?







What's going on here?







It's exciting. We're auctioning off

your grandmother's house.







You said if we got the money,

we could buy it back.







You can buy it back.







Bidding will start at $      .

Do I hear    ?







This is the exciting part.

Have fun.







Look at all these people.

What's going on, Happy?







Thank you, two.







They're auctioning it off.







Good. We'II get it cheaper

than we thought.







Two fifty, thank you.







Maybe not. Two seventy-five!







Two seventy-five. And three.







Three fifty down front.







I have three fifty.

Seventy-five anywhere?







Three fifty--soId to the gentleman

in the white sweater.







What just happened, Happy?







Go wait in the car, Grandma.







What the hell

is wrong with you?







I enjoy real estate speculation.







You touch ne, I burn the house down

and piss on the ashes.