Thread 45: Stories 31-45

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>Nurse
"DT"
~~~

>Okay, you're all setup. Just push this little button here and someone will be right at your bedside in seconds!

"..."

>I have the full schedule of when your meals will be served, but your father said he wanted to pick what you ate. He was very... insistent. Money insistent.

"..."

>...He hit the doctor with a bag of money, is what I mean.

"..."

>If you have any pains or discomfort, you need to call us immediately so we can ensure nothing is torn in there. This machine will monitor your heart rate and all that, just in case, you don't need to worry about a thing. Okay, sweetie? You just rest up and you'll be right as rain in no time!

"..."

>...hoo, probably still traumatized. Poor thing, getting into fights like that...

With that, the nurse left the room.

"...Finally."

With one swing of her hoof, she ripped the panel off the heart monitor, and started pulling out its insides.

"Freaking of course they skimp on the copper. Most advanced hospital in the world, everyone! Now..."

She laid the parts out in front of her, mind spinning.

"Let's get started..."
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>Limestone
"Marble"
'???'
~~~

*SLAM!*

>OH! FUCK!

"Limestone! If daddy hears you screaming that-"

>SHUT UP! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!

"Whoa whoa whoa, calm down. What's the problem?"

>LOOK!

"...A letter?"

>A LETTER FROM MAUD!

"...nooo..."

>SHE'S GOING TO THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE FOR SOME REASON!

"Noooooooo..."

>WHICH MEANS... W-WHICH MEANS...

'Daughters? Since your sister is off for some time, you will have to handle the brace-stone breaking.'

"...M-m-my hooves... m-my poor... poor hooves...."

>Okay, new plan! We go to the empire and beg to be let into whats his faces harem!

"Pinkie says that's not actually a-"

>DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK!?

'Who said that!?'

>MARBLE!

"YOU BITCH!... Whoops."

'For that, you will also take care of the grind stones, Marble.'

"..."

>...Better you than me.

"Plan A isn't going to work, sis. If I got a wealthy husband, I'd have you killed."

>Fair enough.
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>29
"MM"
~~

>...

"..."

>...

"...Shit."

>That bad?

"Uh..."

>Bad enough you should not let slip my words of warning and just read the blasted letters?

"Maybe..."

>Speak it, and I shall give you a second opinion.

"Uh... Chitania smashed another city, they were asking for some help finding ponies in the rubble."

>...

"...Says no deaths in this last one, though. So... yaaaay?"

>...

"...Y-yaaaay?"

>Marey, no.

"...Do... do you want to get out the paddle and spank me?"

>What?

"NOTHING!"
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>AJ
"Random changelings"
[???]
{???}
~~~~

>...what in the hell.

When she had headed over to check and see why the changelings had managed to go a full half day without setting something on fire, she had expected something different from what she found. Seeing as she was doing this at Celestia's behest and said tall white alicorn had told her where the storage unit for bodybags are, so had said statuesque mare. They expected something more 'gas leak' related.

Less 'line stretching out the door and into the hall' related.

"HEY! NO CUTTING IN LINE!"

"Don't care if you are Applejack Prime, I've been waiting here for hours!"

>What... what're y'all doin'?

"We're waiting in line, duh!"

>...

"..."

>...Fooooor?

"The idiot!"

>...Ah' beg yer' pardon.

"We're all waiting to go see the idiot who is going to listen to what we want and then put it down on a big list! We have to do it one at a time, though, the list got so big he had to bring in another idiot to listen harder."

>...

"..."

>...

"...It's cool."

>...M'kay then.

Questioning it no more, and deciding it was not possibly anymore sane than what she was expecting or could ever dream of, she 'noped' turned around and she was off.

"Awww, I think you scared her off."

"Nah, she just doesn't have anything she wants. She has a whole desk of apples."

"OH! APPLES! Adding that to my list!"

"HEY! You can't add late game!"

"I'm doing it and you can't stop me!"

[Hey!]

Far, far down the line, barely within hearing range, he shook his hoof.

[No fighting or you'll get kicked out!]

"SORRY!"

He gave a nod, leaning back in the one chair he had brought in when it had gotten too tiring to stand.

[Cool. Now, you wanted...]

The changeling inexplicably sitting on his lap pulled out a piece of paper.

"A sponge, maybe some soap, and if you can get a hold of it some of those bubbly things they put in baths."

[...]

"...I just like how it feels..."

[Done and done.]

"AWESOME!"

He hopped off, and after a quick scribbling the stallion handed off a piece of paper to an inexplicably green clad changeling next to him.

[Alrighty then, put it with the others.]

{I don't see why I have to be green.}

[I told you, they kept trying to steal the papers. We needed a way to tell them that these papers were not for writing on.]

{Why green, though?}

[It's bright and stands out against the black. It's why I'm wearing red, see? Since they can't read, I have a helpful little sign, red equals talk, green equals papers off limits.]

{I get that part, but why green? What was wrong with me black you white?}

[They'll get you mixed up with someone else.]

{They will not.}

[...]

{...Those four guys were a coincidence.}

[...]

{...Fine. But why the little hat? I don't need a bell tipped hat.}

[I... didn't give you a hat?]

{Oh.}

[...Are you going to take it off?]

{Nah.}

[...Alright then. NEXT!]

Another changeling bounced up, hopping onto his lap as well.

[You know, you can just tell me-]

"A! HEM!... I would like a rag. Something to wipe the crud out of my eye, you know? It's been all red and itchy for a while."

[Do you want some eyedrops to clear that up?]

"PFFFT!"

[...]

"...Your funeral, man. ANYWHOO! I would also like a stressball, very stressful around here, and a pot for a plant. Don't ask me what kind of plant. And OH! I need a gun."

[Can't get you a gun.]

"DAMN! Then I'll just settle for some cereal. Can I get cereal?"

[Probably, sure.]

"...With the marshmallow bits?"

[Yeah, shouldn't be too hard.]

"...You're a good idiot, I don't care how many things I said about you."

[Thanks?]

"Anytime!"
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>PD
"Scientist"
~~~

>...Explain this one.

"Well, you see, you said to start using 'unique' magics in the infusions, so we decided, hey! Chaos magic! Lots of that lying around, easy to get a hold of."

>...

"But, of course, we didn't want it to go crazy, so we doused it some mood enhancing magic to make it feel more happy and alive."

>...

"Annnnd, then the subject broke loose and doused everybody with it."

>...

"...That's all."

>When is it going to stop?

"Uh..."

~BE DE YAAAAA! DANCING IN SEPTEMBER! BE DE YAAAA! NEVER WAS A CLOUDY DAAYYYYYYYYYY!~

"If it's any consolation, this is a kickass party. There's a freaking fondu fountain over there. With some primo cheese, you have GOT to try it."

>...

"...No more chaos magic?"

>No more.

"Gotcha..."

>...Gas the room.

"Uh, wha-"

>TEACH YOU FUCKERS NOT TO INVITE ME! I got enough of this shit in highschool!
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>SB
“???”
_______

Sweetie paused on her way through the castle, stopping just outside of a room with the door left ajar.

Normally, she’d’ve kept going but the strangled grunts from within sounded oddly familiar….

>Chicken? That you?

She gently nudged the door open with her snout and, after taking in the sight before her, stared listlessly as her winged friend struggled to get more than three inches into the air.

Her wings buzzed faster than a hummingbirds and sweat peppered her face but she kept trying, repeatedly colliding with the ground only to get back up and shake herself off for another go.

“C-c’mon, Scoots, you got this… there’s no way you’ll be the only one to drag behind. Just gotta keep practicing, yeah… o-over and over, you’ll get it….”

There was more desperation than actual belief in her words and Sweetie watched as she gave herself a jumping start this time, only to hit the floor faster than before.

“Ow! Son of a- ow, ow, ow... dang it….”

For a moment, Scootaloo just laid there, unmoving, hardly blinking. Then lifted a hoof to the air, her face scrunching up in an attempt to keep the coming tears of frustration at bay.

“…Why… w-why can’t I fly…? Everyone else seems to be getting it- even that pervert with the holes in his wings… but I- my wings won’t-”

Sweetie didn’t hear the rest of her friends words because she was already walking away, taking a right at the end of the hall and trotting down a pair of steps that led to the garden.

She’d seen enough.

Thanks to that little demonstration, she had a good idea as to what the problem was and, if Faust was merciful, she’d soon be able to right two wrongs.

She used the pulling sensation in her chest to guide her through the maze-like hedges towards the one she sought.

>I just have to find you first….
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>SA
"Maud"
~~~~

>Soooo, what do you think?

"The construction of the buildings is sound, very smoothly done."

>...

"..."

>...

"..."

>...That's it?

"Yes."

>...Huh.

"Your castle is nice."

>Thanks?

"I am trying to be complimentary."

>...I cannot believe I am about to say this, but Chrysalis? Come back.
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>AJ
~~~

It's finally happened, Appleajck thought to herself, she hates this office.

This office used to irritate her, annoy her, exhaust her, all sorts of things, but she never hated it. Not until today.

Today she hates this office.
Hates the paperwork reaching the ceiling.
Hates the "In" stack spilling out over the floor.
Hates that chair.
Hates that lamp.
She even hated the window that tempted her with the world beyond.

Not that she could see it now, of course. Night had finally fallen upon the land, and hid the world outside save for the few bright spots. Not that this mattered to her, of course.

Oh sure, she could pack it in for the night, head to her very well maintained bed, try to get some rest after a trying time, but she knew it was pointless. She knew she would just toss, and turn, and flip and flop and all sorts of things without ever getting a wink of sleep. Her mind was too hammered with thoughts of questioning and worrying.

So she sat at her desk, flicked on her little desk lamp, and she opened up the first piece of paper she could find.

Before her eyes could even focus on it, they trailed away, down to the smaller desk sitting off just to the side. A desk that normally had just as many papers atop it, just waiting to be filled out. Normally... it also had a certain someone sitting at it too. Someone who normally helped her, made her life easier, encouraged her and was right there beside her.

But not tonight.

Maybe... not ever again.

She could feel the bags forming under her eyes as she looked back down, down to the work that consumed her everyday.

It was with a heavy head, and an even heavier heart, that she placed her hoof upon the paper, and got to work.

>Ah' hate this office...
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>Twilight
"???"
'???'
[???]
~~~~

She was not running. That is what she told herself. She absolutely was not running to a certain place. Because she trusted the... 'individual' who had been thrown into that certain place not to touch something she should not be touching. She would keep every leg to herself.

All eight... long... sticky legs inaplacewithsomanyunstablechemicalsAHHHHHH!

WHAM!

>OW!

"HEY! Watch where you're going!"

So caught up in her running, she had not even noticed a certain other individual outside her lab. Directly outside. In the doorway.

She was a little distracted.

>...Who are you?

The changeling in question only looked a little heartbroken.

'That's 41, silly!'

She whirled so fast she turned into a purple hurricane.

>ARANA!

'TWILIGHT!'

[BLUBLB!]

>Oh, thank goodness, everything looks in tact and not on fi... wait, what was that?

[BLUBLBL!]

'He's Suckerpunch, in case you don't know!'

Slowly, very slowly, she turned her head to the one in the tube.

>How... how did you end up back in there?

"WHOA WHOA WHOA! 'BACK' in there, you said?!"

>I let him out before I left.

As one, everyone looked to the floating stallion.

[...blublb...]

>How on earth did you get that confused with a lightswitch?

[Blublbl!]

>No, it looks like a normal lightswitch, I do not need a massive lever to turn on a light.

[BLUBLB!]

>The light was on anyway!

[...Blub-blub-blublub...]

'Awww, don't be like that! I'm sure you've got more than that!'

"When someone says "I've got nothing", they normally mean... THINGS THAT I AM WONDERING OUT LOUD!"

>What?

"NOTHING! Just get him out of there!"

>Fine, fine. Arana, can you step outside real quick-

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Eventually, the ringing in her ears stopped.

"You can't send her out into the hallway! I'm here! Which means if she comes out here we're in the same room! And if we're in the same room my Queen will EAT ME."

>She will not.

Two chitinous hooves grabbed hold of her head, and pulled her in close.

"I. Am. A. FEMALE! FEEEMMMAAALLLLE! AND NOT HER FEMALE KID! I cannot BE more killable! JUGGLEJACK IS LESS KILLABLE THAN ME!"

[Blubub!]

'Yeah! Don't be so down on yourself, you're not THAT killable!'

[...blub blu bl blub, BLUB BLOB-BUB!]

'What did you mean?'

"NEVERMIND! ME! NO SPEEKEE TO THE SPIDERY ONE! ME! NO BE IN SAME ROOM AS SKITTERY THING! COMPRENDE!?"

>...Then why are you here?

"I AM OUTSIDE THE ROOM AND TALKING TO SUCKERPUNCH WHO IS TALKING TO HER! LOOPHOLE!"

>I... fair enough? Seems like a lot of effort for no point. She's not going to hurt you.

"TELL THAT TO JUGGLEJACK!"

>I did, when I gave him a clean bill of health because her pheromones were just inert endorphins she sprayed out because she was happy.

"...Wait... HAS SHE BEEN SPRAYING THIS THE WHOLE TIME!?"

>Nope, easy fix.

"Oh..."

>...

"...Still can't do it."

>So then get clear, I need to get her out of the room.

"CAN DO!

With that, she tore off at full speed.

'She's silly, Twilight.'

>Little bit.

[Blub blub?]

>Hm? Oh, yeah, watch your head.

[BLu-]

WONK!

>...

'...think she meant, like, right then, SP.'

[...Ow.]
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>56
“???”
_____

Even in the dead of night, she was still tinkering, having disabled a few other medical devices as well, devices probably needed to check her health but her care levels were in the negative at the moment.

She heard the door creak open and registered on the clopping hooffalls without so much as a single glance up.

Then her visitor spoke.

>Woooow… looks my aunt kicked you around like a cider can!

“…”

>Must hurt to talk, eh? No problem, I only came to visit for a few minutes ‘cause any longer and your lack of plot would send me into a foamin’ seizure.

“…”

Smiling, he moved closer to her side, glancing at her ‘work’.

>Wuzzat ya got there? …Is… is that your heart monitor? Don’t you need that? To, y’know, monitor your heart and all?

“…Do you see me breathing?”

>Yeah, but-

“Then my heart’s doing just fine.”

>Did you already take apart the butt monitor, too? All that 'flatline' beepin’ get on your nerves?

“No, but you are. Please leave, I have work to do.”

He only moved closer, almost until their shoulders touched.

>Hey, uh… Flatflank?

“…”

>I know ya done moved on to bigger things to try and kill or whatever but… do me favor?

Favor? For him? HA! It’d be a cold day in Tartarus before she-

A squeak of surprise escaped Diamond Tiara when the changeling wrapped his hove around her in a hug that was very mindful of her numerous wounds.

>Don’t go gettin’ yourself killed, yeah? You were one of my first friends and writin’ one of those things ya say at a funeral is sad. I don’t wanna be sad, so you have to stay alive, ‘kay? I... I know ya never liked me and that you’ve moved on to fightin’ my aunts and stuff but still… a flat flank is better than a dead one….

"..."

He released her, a fond smile visible even in the looming darkness, and leapt down to the tiled floor.

>Well, take it easy, Flatflank. If ya see my big-booties aunt again, tell ‘er I’m-

BLAM

>WHOA WHAT THE HAY?

The smallest of smirks split Diamond Tiaras face as she twisted another pebble-sized ball of cloth in her hooves and tossed it at the surprised Changeling.

This one also exploded and 56 jumped so high he almost hit the ceiling before tearing from the room.

She couldn’t help but laugh…

“That idiot bug.”

Then sucked her teeth.

“Damn, not enough oomph….”

And she continued tinkering.
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>Scoots

Clank.

>34...

Clank

>35...

Clank.

>36...

Lifting the weights with her wings Scootaloo breathes heavily as the 250 lbs shake in her grip.

Everpony had long left the practice yard to their homes and familes.

But not her, no she had stayed back and continued her repititons with stoicness as she could feel her wings burning in agony.

>41...

It can't be for nothing, the program, Rainbow Dash believing in her to do this, Bulk giving them the protein shakes and tips on how to lift. Even Fleetfoot with the granola bars she passed out to the others even though Rainbow leapt out of a garbage can for some reason before saying it was atraining exercise for Constant Vigilance.

>45...

She wouldn't let them down, not when they put so much effort into her, never!

>49...

Clank.

>50!

Jerking the barbell into place she let her wings flop to rest hanging down from the sides as she breathed heavily.

>I swear, I'll make you proud...

Outside the yard a rainbow streak heads off into the distance with a bottle of water, some granola bars and a picture of Scootaloo and Rainbow at the falls flying for fun.
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>Twilight
"???"
'Librarian'
~~~

'Over there.'

The words of the librarian were curt, to the point, and more than a little annoyed. Fair enough, the princess supposed, said librarian looked terribly, terribly tired, and probably would have liked to go home before it got so late at night. But, alas, one stubborn patron just would not leave.

Thankfully, the old attendant of this place still held several favors over the princesses head. Many a late night held open or help with difficult subject was dolled out here. As such, she couldn't really complain for being summoned this late.

Even if she really, really wanted to go to bed, but that was a minor issue.

Tiny, really.

Totally.

But still, she was more than a little quick as she headed into the back section of the library, towards the newly added on wing that had been built just this very year for some new... 'material'. Mostly material focused around engineering.

When she had said "A filly" with a "Strange device" was causing this, she knew who she was expecting. Pink coat, little tiara cutie mark, bad attitude, the works.

What she did not expect, however...

>Silver Spoon?

Was a silver maned filly sitting at the middle of a table, books upon books upon books scattered all about her, note pad after notepad with all kinds of scribbles on it, and of course... the broken and twisted remains of what was once Diamond Tiara's pride and joy, carefully placed upon a pillow and wrapped up tightly in a blanket.

But this was nothing more than background noise, really. Nothing compared to the filly with her forehead pressed flat against the table, forelegs crossed in front of her. Twilight would have thought she was sleeping...

Were it not for the quiet, choked cries she let out occasionally.

>Silver Spoon... what's wrong?

She gently slid into the seat next to her, ignoring the shudder the smaller filly let out when a lavender hoof touched her back.

"I can't understand it."

A gray hoof softly banged against the table, bitter with every strike.

"I tried, and I tried and I tried, but I just don't understand any of this. It makes my head hurt just looking at it."

Twilight's eyes trailed over all of the notepads, each one detailing some rather complicated engineering work.

>It looks to me like you're doing fine.

"T-that's all her work, I didn't write anything... I just... I needed the books to tell me what the words meant, but... I don't get it."

Softly, she nodded.

>Why don't you just let Diamond Tiara do it? She enjoys this.

She flinched a little under the gentle touch.

"They won't let me take him near her. T-they said... they wanted me to give him to them, but I said no, she wouldn't want him looked after by a stranger, and... and Applejack might..."

The room grew silent for a little bit.

"I was afraid you were her."

>Now, Silver Spoon, you shouldn't be. She just wants to help.

"She's not helping. If she was, then she would have let me give him to her. She needs him now."

The princesses look grew stern, and unmoving.

>No, she needs you, her friend, right now. Not that thing.

"DON'T!"

The filly flinched at her own words, embarrassed as she slunk back down beneath the librarians strong 'SHHHH!'

"...He's not a thing."

>He is. He's a machine that-

A tiny hoof shot out, jabbing her right in the ribs.

"You don't get it."

>Then explain it to me.

Words rolled around in Silver Spoon's mind, each one carefully considered before she spoke it.

"...He makes her feel like she can do anything."

Wordlessly, Twilight urged her to continue.

"He makes her feel... powerful, unstoppable, unbeatable. No matter what the odds are, it doesn't matter if she has him. She can win. I can't make her feel like that, Twilight. I just make her feel like I need to be protected, like I'm in the way because I'm worthless."

The tears returned, dripping down onto the books below her.

"Don't you see? I have to help him. I have to get him back to normal so she can get back to normal. Once he's fixed, she'll be all better, and Applejack will have to let her back on the A-team, but long as he's out of commission.."

>...You don't think you can talk to her.

She looked away, but did not refute it.

The alicorn sighed, gently lifting up the rocket launcher with her magic. She calmed the suddenly terrified filly with a look, and the easy way she moved it.

>Come on. You're not going to find your answers here.

She nodded, unable to argue against it.

>We'll take him back to my lab and, when Diamond Tiara is better... you can both 'heal' him, together.

She started to protest, only to be cut off by a lavender hoof.

>Nobody, absolutely nobody, gets to this level in a week, Silver Spoon. If you really want to be of help, you're going to need a teacher to show you how this works. I can't show you that, it would take me some time to understand what she's done with this. You can learn it, and if it's so important you do then you had better be patient enough to wait for it. But more than that, Diamond Tiara is going to need her friends when she gets out, she is going to need someone to help her and show her she still has support, and will never lose it. Work with her and get BOTH of them back to normal.

She wanted to argue, say she was too dumb to ever understand, say it would be better if Twilight just fixed it, anything to keep her from having to be in the same room as her best friend and her broken machine, but....

"O-okay."

Twilight smiled, and started to lead her out.

>You've got a lot of potential, Silver Spoon, and if you'd stop getting so down on yourself, maybe you'll find it.

She did not respond, just kept her head low as the princess magically returned the books to their proper place, and lead her out.

>Someday...

With the gentle shutting of the door, they left the library behind.

'THANK CELESTIA!'

And one very happy librarian.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>29
"32"
'High Roller'
~~

>BROTHER! I return, with... LEAVE!

'It bothers me that you think you can order me around.'

>I will throw you again!

'Try it, I'm a highly trained guard, now that I see it coming I can-'

>YOUR MOTHER MAY NOT HAVE LOVED YOU BUT I AND MANY OTHERS DO AND WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!

'....What the f-'

*FLASH!*

'MY EYES! IT- NONONOPUTMEDOWN-'

*CHUCK!*

'FUCK YOOOOooouuuuuuu....'

>Ha ha! Mine wit has again bested the brawn of the lesser! Mine mind could outdo an entire army if I so desired!

"Then go fight 42, That would be fun."

>...You know, brother, most times when I arrive, thou at least looks the direction from whence I hail. You did not even twitch thine neck.

"My apologies, Q and Reggie are in an argument, and I am mediating."

>You look depressed.

"It is not a very engaging argument. Very silly."

>...I see...

"What did you bring me today?"

>Hm? Oh, just some books, and a little 'extra' fun drinks.

"Heh. At least I can count on you to get me buzzed, if nothing else."

>I'd like to think mine mere presence is worth more than that!

"Well... I suppose I cannot argue that."

>As I should expect! Now, place thine hoof upon mine, thou art looking a touch peckish.

"I am still feeling alright from your last visit."

>Thine lies are worth less than the toilet paper in the corner of the room! Now place thine hoof!

"Fine, fine I-...Ooooooo~"

>KEEP THINE SOUNDS NORMAL!

"Can't help it."

>LIES! You could so!

"Maybe. Why? Do you want the circumstances you hear me moan to be different?"

>I SWEAR I WILL CUT OFF YOUR TAP!

"Oh, I see the problem, I'm looking at you. Clearly you are the type who enjoys the more classical back of the head view?"

>I'M SERIOUS!

"Or maybe you want me to look a little different? I can turn into a zebra if you want."

>STOOOP!

"Or maybe even-"

>DON'T YOU DARE SAY MAREY IWILLTHROTTLEYOOOOUUUUU!

"...Was going to say the unicorn, actually."

>...Oh...

"...Telling. You reacted so strongly to the other two."

>HUSH THINE LIPS!

"Only one way to do that, so you'd best place something else inside of them."

>Y-YOOOOUUUU!... GNUGH! When I come back, I'm not bringing any more drinks! Savor those! THEY SHALL BE YOUR LAST!

"Uh huh. Can I get some strawberry on the next ones?"

>But you hate strawberry, and Berry Punch normally drains...

"..."

>...I mean, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY ALL THE SAME! SO, BE GONE! HAR-HA-RUMPH! GUTTERMINDED ONE!

*PRISSSTOMPPRISSSTOMPPRISSSTOMP!*

"..."

'How does he make such prissy noises when he does that?'

"It is a mystery to us all."

'Why do you do that anyway? He's, like, the only one I see even come down here for you anymore. I haven't even seen the patchy one come down in a while.'

"It is how I have my fun."

'Huh, guess I can't argue that.'

"Oh?"

'Well, yeah. You're always super slow and depressing until he shows up, but by the time he leaves you're up and about, making jokes and occasionally actually smiling.'

"...If you say so."

'...What is his deal with the sex, anyway? Isn't he obsessed with it?'

"That, my guard, is the problem. He does not see sex as merely for fun like so many others. He sees it as a craft, a profession, this is his lifes work!"

'...'

"I know, it's quite depressing really. He attributes his entire life's accomplishments to the three times he actually managed to accomplish his 'goal' and none of them were particularly impressive royals. But still, he thinks it an assurance that he is 'Equestrian Games Class', essentially."

'Huh. So, why does he freak out when you mention those other guys?'

"Either A, it is because he is so offended by the notion he would reduce himself so low, or B... He wants to fuck them really bad, and can't admit it to himself."

'...'

"...It's the latter."

'Put that together, thanks.'

"...He's going to keep tossing you if you don't leave."

'I'll uh... give you some privacy next time.'

"Good call."

'...What was with the flash-'

"Dead children."

'...'

"Exactly."
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>Cadence
"Maud"
~~

>Soooo, this is the wonderful Crystal Garden! I love it, it's probably my favorite place in this whole kingdom!

"I thought your castle was your favorite place."

>Well, okay, this is my favorite place to relax.

"Not your hot tub?"

>Okay, fine, the hot tub is more relaxing. But this place is all glittery and glowy!"

"Wouldn't your room housing the Crystal Heart glow more? The stone is luminous, after all."

>FINE! It's just my favorite thing to look at!

"Oh, okay."

>Thank you!

"It is not my favorite thing to look at here, however."

>Well, fine, I guess everyone has different tastes-

"I like looking at Shining Armor more."

>...

"..."

>...N-noooooo...

"..."

>...N-noooo!

"You have fallen to your side and there are tears coming from your eyes. Does that mean my joke was a success? Pinkie says that is a good sign when telling a joke."

>N-not another one... n-n-not another one...

"I will tell my sister about this. She will be proud."

>N-nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~

"Yes I will."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Work was dull.

Life was dull.

Form after form after form requiring signatures and stamps and embossing and proofreading...

It was exactly as boring as it sounded, and there was not an end to it.

No, nothing could stop the endless tide of paperwork on her desk. She had tried; streamlining the audit process, combining several popular forms into one, reducing confusing jargon... On one of her more desperate days she ordered guards to stand at her door and arrest anyone who came bearing paperwork.

None of it made even a dent. The pile of forms was always there, always the same size, always requiring the same amount of work.

Just how much work?

All of it.

All of the work.

Every day.

Every waking minute, every ounce of her energy, consumed by this unending exercise in futility.

And for what?

All so the wheels and cogs that ran the Crystal Empire would be greased and moving, letting life in the castle continue for one more day.

Letting her life continue one more day.

Her dull life.

It was comfortable, no doubt, but that comfort could not be obtained from any form or invoice or requisition. Her source of comfort took the shape of a pony.

Eighteen sat at her desk, rested her face in her hooves and allowed herself a moment for her mind to wander.

Maybe today would be the day it was finally worth it.

The day he came in and swept her off her hooves. He told her how he felt about her, about the work she did, that he could see how she cared so much about the Kingdom and its inhabitants. That he could tell she did it all to show how much she cared about him.

He would look into her eyes and they would share their love for one another. An endless sea of affection and warmth would flow around them as their hearts, bodies and minds became one.

For a moment it felt real.

And she felt happy.

But that moment passed all too quickly. Before she could even smile at the joy she felt it was gone.

She was back in her office, sitting in her chair, staring at her papers.

She had been in this exact pose a hundred times, had this exact dream a hundred days.

Nothing changed.

Deep within her a fire stirred, black embers glowed red with intensity. There had to be a way to make it real, there just HAD TO.

Eighteen sat in her dull office, living her dull life for one more day.

Just one more day she told herself.

Then it'll all be worthwhile.

He'll come around.

He has to...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________