Drabbles of a 22 year old from New York

Hi. I don't know who will find this, hope this isn't too weird. Anyways... here goes nothing.

Questions. I have an endless stream of questions. With the resources of the internet, I have an abundance of answers that all say different things. I can't believe anything fully, I can only hope that these answers have some shred of fact and are at least truth in the minds of the writers.

A constant need for input and distractions drives me to question even stupid things like the color of flowers (they are colorful supposedly to attract pollinators like different insects). These things don't even matter. Not much matters besides a few simple concepts; living, working, and finding what makes you happy. Without these (and maybe a few other essentials), consider yourself an outsider of society.

Living is simple enough, if you aren't living, then society can't see you. There ya go. You have to live and prove your existence by interacting with others on some level (virtually or physically). Until the day you die, for whatever reason it happens, you are living and must deal with all that it means to be alive.

I said working earlier. I mean this only in the sense that to exist in society, you have to have some purpose, some function. It could be something that isn't tangible or even all that important, but it matters to someone enough that you have whatever job it is. Self employment means that you are the one that thinks it's important and you are finding others that agree with you. Whatever you do as work, you do it because you realize that you have to, and hopefully you find something you enjoy. The purpose of income is directly to keep living, to not lose your life, family, lovers, friends, and relationships in general.

That third thing I threw in there, now there's the big mystery of it all, finding what makes you happy. Heh, interesting idea but just about unobtainable for a good chunk of us on this pretty little planet of organized chaos. This pursuit of happiness can take as long as from the moment you are born to the moment you die (unsuccessful or otherwise). It's really the reason to exist though. Some people out there cannot find the will or are without the ability to search for what makes them happy. Then others are unlucky to think they know what they want only to find out they were wrong after a terribly long pursuit.

I will say this, from advice of others, if you find what makes you happy, nourish it, cherish it, but don't hold on too tight. It should be fine just as it is, it should be shared with someone you care about. Don't mold it if it isn't quite right, just find something else in that case, it wasn't the right thing.

I feel like I'm giving relationship advice now. Don't mind me, just skip ahead or something. I'm gonna keep spewing my thoughts out.

Sometimes all you need to be happy is just making someone smile. If you happen to gain happiness by getting revenge, then do it in a harmless way that still brings that satisfaction. Some people need multiple things or people to love, and most are fine with just one.

On this topic of happiness, it's always good to remember that we're human. Humans are built to adapt and change. It's okay to love a thing one day and hate it the next. It's okay to fall head over heels in love and a few days, weeks, months, or years later, fall out of love. Perhaps the dumbest thing, in my opinion, that people do, is to make yourself and someone else suffer needlessly. If, for whatever reason, it's needed... make it as painless as possible.

Now... there's always the nag in the background of my mind going "why bother?"... Is there any point in pursuing happiness if it's so damn annoying and difficult? Sure, plenty of people claim that it is! I'll go ahead and assume they are the ones that have found it, if only briefly. I'm not entirely sure that I give a damn. Good for them.

Now me? I found another solution. Easier and faster; distractions! Holy shit there are so many distractions. EVERYWHERE! Look outside, watch the way the leaves sway in the wind, watch the cars roll by, watch people interact. Go online! The world is bubbling and frothing at the mouth with distractions; multiplied by the connection of the world-wide web. Ready? Gaming. Talking online with headsets or chatrooms. Looking at pictures. Sharing stories. Videos. Music. Making digital art. Shopping fast for whatever! The countless interactions of people from different cultures clashing into a single society of internet addicts.

If not for the fact that I work at a machine shop, I doubt I would leave my home. I swear.. depression is the modern day plague, spread by absolutely nothing but thought. The best cure that I've found is small bursts of happiness in the form of distractions, an escape from my dumb mind and its annoying thoughts. Temporary worlds where the outside can't reach unless we let it. Books will gladly take your mind from you and put it in an alternate reality. Gaming will do the same! Movies, writing a story, creating art, listening to or designing your own music. These are my vices, my drugs, my addictions. I get shaky without distractions.

So yeah. I get by. I live, I work, I numb this search of happiness with glorious distractions. You who find what make you happy, I'm glad you are there. The world needs you as proof that it can be done. I pick the easy way out and it's enough for me.

Question things. Why not? Nothing to lose but time. We're all on a clock. Eventually our flame flickers and dies. Did you enjoy that fire while it lasted? Eating too much kills you, but it doesn't matter if you enjoyed every moment of it. Have too much fun, do what you want, try to make your life easy in whatever way works.

I am just an average low-class citizen getting by, I do laundry because it's easier than buying new clothes. Oh and, of course, there are exceptions to doing what you want.. like laws and making others unhappy and death. But hey, if those don't bother you, who's to stop you from trying? Go at it.

Listen and learn. Read and question. Be kind when you can. Be you.

Thanks for stopping by, sorry for the ramble. Hope your day is/will be/was good.

Have a smile; :)