Self-Training

[13:37] Satsuki's suggestion and Ethan's need for a solution to defeat Sors came to his mind not long after he decided to think and spend some time recapping the events of the past week. The Wayfinder recalled what had happened with Calael in the lighthouse, trying to take the events piece by piece, or rather, the way he managed to stand up at the very end of it all.

Nullification. If anything could extend that first breath it probably would it it. This wouldn't have to deal with healing rapidly or anything, no. This had to be a mix of... determination and mastery, didn't it?
(Ethan Hawke)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[13:42] A deep breath was drawn in by the old man as he sat down near the water, thinking about this concept he had drawn in his mind a bit more clearly, giving some order to it all. First... he needed to have a reason. A valid one at that. Something that pushed him to stay around and stand tall against adversity, no matter how it would manifest itself. This was that grit, those guts, that determination.

This was how the Wayfinder had managed to keep his hand clutching the Ghoul King's body despite the effects of death magic being pushed onto him. The will to go on and a reason to do it. After all that extended first breath had left him completely exhausted, collapsing on the floor after he had managed it when speaking to Calael.

He'd have to be ready to take in the pain in the first place. He had to carefully choose when he'd push his body to that extent, too. A few nods were given to the thoughts.

A purpose would be the trigger, the fuel to it all.

... And now, a method had to be devised.
(Ethan Hawke)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[13:47] Nullification was the key to it all. He had determined so earlier. It had come to him without him really... thinking about it. It just seemed logical, didn't it? To nullify all the pain that would be coming in, well, most of it anyway. He couldn't just erase pain as a whole, but he could dampen it.

The second step to this idea. The third that had to follow was going to be more complicated, wasn't it? Not every fight would have your opponent turn their backs to you when you hit your last leg. Most wouldn't even realize it and keep attacking instead. This was what the third and final step was for: Stopping the damage.

The old man looked down to his hands, cracking a smile at the idea. Colorless sparks danced around his fingertips before he thought of the easier and most convenient solution to that. Just like he'd dampen the pain through nullification, Ethan believed that killing off any magic that came his way through the same art was going to be the answer.

A shield, a barrier, the same kind he used in battle, but this one with everything he had left. Every bit of mana would have to be used in creating that protection, leaving him completely unable to defend himself after that. He'd overload his mana circuits and push himself further. That.. damaged the spirit, right? Or maybe it was the soul...
(Ethan Hawke)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[13:53] He shook his head. There was no time to think and ponder upon the risks that were present when it came to clutching a fight in its last moments, no. The only thing he could do was to push forward and further, to give in everything he had and not relent in the face of adversity. A burst- an overload of his ability to nullify, giving everything he had to both stop the attacks and launch back his own with full force at once was going to be it.

This is where the real training began. Ethan moved up to his feet, standing tall and stretching out, ensuring he was in top shape for what was to come. He took in a deep breath and... began killing off any sort of expression, magic, or emotion in his surroundings.

As he felt his own emotions falter he realize how precise and difficult this would be. He couldn't become apathetic towards the situation as a whole, despite his own spell killing off what could be deemed as determination. He had to be far more determined than he was capable.

Only when it truly mattered would this ability be used, or attempted to be used. This was a rule for one's self.
(Ethan Hawke)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[13:58] And so, the colorless sparks grew further out. The aura around his body expanded and more of the life around him became grey and dull. The entire world seemed so boring, yet, so safe. He had to push that further. To maintain it.

His teeth came to a grit, his fists clenched up, beads of sweat crawled down his back as he drove that ship. It hurt. Emotionally, at least, it made him feel like he wasn't even alive anymore. This sucked. This was... a lot of weight to take upon his shoulders. But he had to. It was necessary, right?

For Lailah.
He'd do it for her.
He'd do it for all the people that Sors Ultovex hurt in the past. The ones that he could hurt in the future.

A flash of grey exploded outwards as his mana went far above and beyond what it had any right to, chipping away at small bits of his very soul through some sort of self-mutilation. It wasn't something he wasn't used to, was it?

The Ghoul King's influence still did that to this day.
(Ethan Hawke)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[14:03] He felt sick, almost like... Calael did back when he was training. This was the kind of thing he had to go through to get those giant wings? Ethan thought so - they came with it after all. He wanted to puke, yet the world was so dull that puking would only make it suck more.

Exhausted. Out of breath. Unable to... go on.

Ethan collapsed to the ground, utterly unable to go any further as his circuits gave way on him, not wanting to be abused more than they were just for the sake of training. He breathed heavily, turning around to stare at the skies, speaking to himself.

"Jesse... Man... You'd love your nieces. They're brilliant. I... really messed up for not getting you back, did I? I should've taken care of Sors back then..."
(Ethan Hawke)