CW: mental health, open source AI, harassment

CW: mental health, open source AI, harassment

I'm tired, friends. This is a personal, emotional post for me. It is not intended to be scientific or objective.

The whole effort to "define open source AI" has been heartbreaking for many of us who care so very deeply about open source. It is not just the lack of transparency, biased narratives, and fallacious arguments that we have seen from the OSI — it's how participants who present differing viewpoints have been treated.

I have been called a liar, accused of being an enemy of open source, had my contributions misrepresented and shut down, and had my job not-so-subtly threatened for authentically contributing my expertise — expertise that lies precisely at the intersection of open source and artificial intelligence. I have seen others experience the same.

Despite this, I have made genuine efforts to provide opportunities for repair and remediation that were rejected out of hand.

This is not the open source community that welcomed me over 20 years ago. Maybe that community doesn't exist anymore in the same form, but we deserve one that treats people with kindness and respect. We all deserve the one that pushes for inclusion and empowerment. The one that opens windows instead of closing doors.

This isn't about AI. It may have started with AI, but that's not what is at stake.

It's about the very meaning of open source, and the OSI's insistence on undermining it on a technical AND cultural level. I worry about the opportunities that future generations will not have as technology trends closed. I worry about future contributors who will decide to steer clear because of renewed toxicity. I worry about voices silenced, progress reversed, potential lost.

Again, this is very personal. I stepped back from actively participating in the official channels for the OSI's process because of how damaging it was to my mental health. The behavior of a handful of individuals in positions of authority left me questioning my place in open source writ large. Worse than that — these abuses of power sent me into a severe PTSD flare-up that put my safety at risk.

I love open source. The past year has been personally, professionally, and emotionally devastating. I don't know how to recover from this. Those of you who have been kind to me during all of this, I appreciate you more than I can possibly say. It keeps me here. It tells me that maybe there is still room for me in open source.

What's at stake here is more than open source AI, AI, OR open source. People are at stake.

#OpenSource #OpenSourceAI #OSI #OSAID #Inclusion #MentalHealth