RIP Amelie

#rip #pets I'm going to really get into the nitty gritty here, and it's going to suck for me, because I don't actually want to talk about this right now, it's way too soon... We lost a family pet this evening, she was with us for ten years, a pure bred, white, female, undocked boxer named Amelie. She was the greatest dog ever, and I know that might seems a bit childish to say, but... she really was to me. Amelie was kind of a pain in the ass, but she'd run around for ten to twenty minutes before coming back inside, sometimes this was REALLY great, and other times, like when we had somewhere to go, it was fucking insane.

She went peacefully, but in the most badass way imaginable, she took her last shit and piss in the front yard, walked straight in, head held high, barked happily that she had told Death itself to kiss her ass, and faded away in the space of a few seconds. I watched the whole thing transpire, as did my mother. And I'm still in sock at this whole thing. I'm still a bit happy that she went to the bathroom like a fucking BOSS before she went. I don't know why that made me happy. she'd been going through this horrific thing because #Alpodogfood fucked up majorly. she thinned out, her head, neck, and front legs and paws swelled up, and in the end, she still went like a mother fucking boss.

I'm sure i'll be crying tonight, it's tough to lose a dog, especially one who was so on top of things when it came to guarding the house, providing comfort, and just being a good girl. In fact, writing this, i'm starting to tear up, but I have to get through this, it's part of the mourning process, and everyone handles it differently. Amelie, to us, was THE Alpha Female of the pack. Oh, sure, there was Grace, with her six foot high jump from a solid stand still, or our Apple head chihuahua, who'll pretty much bark at everything, or even Bella, who fetches the fuck out of everything until our arms fall off.

But Amelie? Dear god, for about a year, Amelie slept in my room, and she'd plop down on my bed right next to me, and about a half hour later, she'd worm her way underneath the comforter, her ass next to the back of my head, and fart. A lot. Like, WTF levels of farting, good god, could that fucking dog make thunderstorms seem like a faint whisper.

I ended, most mornings, waking up on the floor wondering what the hell happened. After setting up my camcorder and recording the following night, I discovered that after about an hour of her machine gun tooting into my hair, I'd have a panic attack in my sleep and fall onto the floor and stay there for the rest of the night.

Truly, I was the brave one. Another memory is when my best friends, Blake and Dan came over and stayed the weekend for New Years Eve, we watched, that weird johnny Depp movie about the mind of a dying person being transferred to an A.I. platform, and then it went nuts? Amelie plopped down right next to Blake's feet for about half the movie. she knew when to leave, when Real Depp died and Fake Depp was born.

i'm still pretty numb, and I don't know when it'll truly hit me that my Baby Gir, my nickname for her, has passed away. Probably a few days, but at least I got this out of the way.