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- 1
- 00:00:00,585 --> 00:00:03,167
- Hey, check out the Wurlitzer!
- 2
- 00:00:03,251 --> 00:00:05,542
- How 'bout a bit of Australiana, eh?
- 3
- 00:00:11,667 --> 00:00:14,167
- This is the Drumtastic 9000.
- 4
- 00:00:14,251 --> 00:00:16,751
- Auto chords. Yeah, baby!
- 5
- 00:00:19,751 --> 00:00:21,417
- And now for my big finish -
- 6
- 00:00:21,501 --> 00:00:23,209
- fire up the Leslie and the subwoofer.
- 7
- 00:00:25,334 --> 00:00:27,584
- Hey, Gale! Did you hear any of that?
- 8
- 00:00:29,667 --> 00:00:32,834
- The whole thing's just dynamite!
- 9
- 00:00:34,751 --> 00:00:37,084
- Oh, I wonder what the poor
- people are doing today.
- 10
- 00:00:37,209 --> 00:00:39,501
- Oh, no, you've gotta screw
- deeper. You gotta screw deeper.
- 11
- 00:00:39,584 --> 00:00:41,376
- - She'll be right.
- - Here. Hold this.
- 12
- 00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:43,626
- Oh, here we go
- with the umbrella business!
- 13
- 00:00:43,709 --> 00:00:45,792
- He's parasol paranoid, I'm telling you.
- 14
- 00:00:45,876 --> 00:00:47,334
- Terrified of umbrellas.
- 15
- 00:00:50,209 --> 00:00:53,001
- What the hell happened in the 1970s?
- 16
- 00:00:53,084 --> 00:00:55,667
- A decade with too much time,
- too much money
- 17
- 00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:58,001
- and way too much cask wine on its hands.
- 18
- 00:00:58,251 --> 00:00:59,417
- Stop.
- 19
- 00:00:59,501 --> 00:01:00,792
- Thanks to a birthday present
- 20
- 00:01:00,876 --> 00:01:02,716
- that would go on to make me
- a dishonest living,
- 21
- 00:01:02,751 --> 00:01:06,334
- I captured everything
- in the hope that one day
- 22
- 00:01:06,417 --> 00:01:08,042
- I could edit the madness together
- 23
- 00:01:08,126 --> 00:01:09,542
- and answer the question -
- 24
- 00:01:09,834 --> 00:01:13,709
- what was going through
- our poor misguided heads?
- 25
- 00:01:14,001 --> 00:01:16,876
- My big home movies
- starred a bunch of ratbags
- 26
- 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:20,209
- who all lived on the same
- block - Wyong Place.
- 27
- 00:01:21,709 --> 00:01:23,334
- Wedged in time somewhere
- 28
- 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,626
- between Penny Lane and Wall Street,
- 29
- 00:01:25,709 --> 00:01:28,917
- meet three rudderless families
- who lived, surfed
- 30
- 00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:31,959
- and spectacularly
- crossed the line together.
- 31
- 00:01:32,251 --> 00:01:33,977
- A lot of people to meet
- in the next few minutes,
- 32
- 00:01:34,001 --> 00:01:35,459
- but it's not a test.
- 33
- 00:01:35,709 --> 00:01:37,459
- Just enjoy the slideshow.
- 34
- 00:01:37,542 --> 00:01:40,042
- One, two, three.
- 35
- 00:01:40,126 --> 00:01:42,126
- Open your eyes.
- 36
- 00:01:42,209 --> 00:01:43,876
- Rack off!
- 37
- 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,626
- The Hall house was
- a disaster movie in the making.
- 38
- 00:01:47,709 --> 00:01:50,667
- Gerome Hall was
- the coolest kid in school.
- 39
- 00:01:52,334 --> 00:01:55,042
- He was also my stuntman.
- 40
- 00:02:02,042 --> 00:02:03,459
- And cut!
- 41
- 00:02:03,542 --> 00:02:05,542
- If this water goes pink again,
- I'm gonna cop it!
- 42
- 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,501
- We're fucking on it, alright?!
- 43
- 00:02:07,584 --> 00:02:09,917
- - Die! Die!
- - No, don't! Stop!
- 44
- 00:02:10,209 --> 00:02:12,126
- Arggh!
- 45
- 00:02:12,417 --> 00:02:15,126
- Gerome's dad couldn't win
- an egg and spoon race.
- 46
- 00:02:15,209 --> 00:02:16,834
- Keith Hall rapped his knuckles raw
- 47
- 00:02:16,917 --> 00:02:18,542
- trying to feed six hungry mouths
- 48
- 00:02:18,626 --> 00:02:20,376
- with nothing between him
- and their next meal
- 49
- 00:02:20,459 --> 00:02:22,167
- but a mangy encyclopedia.
- 50
- 00:02:22,251 --> 00:02:24,209
- Are you dreaming of a better world?
- 51
- 00:02:24,292 --> 00:02:27,292
- I'm Keith Hall from
- Funk & Wagnalls Encyclopedias.
- 52
- 00:02:27,542 --> 00:02:28,667
- Yours to take home
- 53
- 00:02:28,751 --> 00:02:30,751
- with only the common cents
- jingling in your pocket.
- 54
- 00:02:30,959 --> 00:02:33,834
- With every overly abundant
- currency vestibule,
- 55
- 00:02:33,917 --> 00:02:35,876
- you'll receive the next gold-embossed,
- 56
- 00:02:35,959 --> 00:02:38,292
- cliff-hanging tome
- that will be delivered...
- 57
- 00:02:38,376 --> 00:02:42,001
- Gerome! I'm on a bloody call
- with Mrs. Darlington of Dapto!
- 58
- 00:02:43,751 --> 00:02:45,459
- Kaye, my sweet?
- 59
- 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,834
- Please set the table for luncheon.
- 60
- 00:02:48,917 --> 00:02:51,167
- With her husband going pink in the wash
- 61
- 00:02:51,251 --> 00:02:53,667
- and her kids' hair
- going green in the pool,
- 62
- 00:02:53,751 --> 00:02:55,376
- Kaye Hall didn't leave the house much.
- 63
- 00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:58,917
- Agoraphobia, like skin cancer
- and political correctness,
- 64
- 00:02:59,001 --> 00:03:00,501
- hadn't been invented yet.
- 65
- 00:03:00,751 --> 00:03:02,501
- Mum!
- 66
- 00:03:02,584 --> 00:03:03,626
- Kaye and Keith were
- 67
- 00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:06,584
- the sunburnt centrefolds
- of Nobby's Beach.
- 68
- 00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,751
- Then... a light went out.
- 69
- 00:03:10,042 --> 00:03:11,834
- Keith turned to classy porn magazines
- 70
- 00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:14,042
- like Inspect-Her Gadget,
- 71
- 00:03:14,126 --> 00:03:16,834
- and Kaye turned to drink
- with a deafening silence.
- 72
- 00:03:16,917 --> 00:03:18,167
- Action!
- 73
- 00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:23,959
- Keira Hall loved the water
- 74
- 00:03:24,042 --> 00:03:26,001
- and bluebottles loved her back.
- 75
- 00:03:26,084 --> 00:03:28,251
- That's 'cause her dad said
- she was special.
- 76
- 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,167
- Not quite the full quid, are ya?
- 77
- 00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:33,959
- But you are Daddy's favourite.
- You will come good.
- 78
- 00:03:35,959 --> 00:03:38,417
- But they're black ones.
- I don't like black ones.
- 79
- 00:03:38,709 --> 00:03:40,834
- Nobody likes the black ones, love.
- 80
- 00:03:45,084 --> 00:03:47,292
- Nah, that was terrible.
- You're going down there...
- 81
- 00:03:47,376 --> 00:03:49,084
- OW!
- 82
- 00:03:49,167 --> 00:03:53,042
- Ow! Unfair, Liam Jones!
- That really hurt!
- 83
- 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:56,167
- Not as much as it's gonna!
- Suck eggs, grogans!
- 84
- 00:03:58,376 --> 00:04:00,751
- If the Jones boys were gonna experiment,
- 85
- 00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:02,626
- they may as well do it at home.
- 86
- 00:04:02,917 --> 00:04:05,376
- So said their parents,
- Rick and Jo Jones.
- 87
- 00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:09,518
- They said Rick Jones was
- the most fun you could have
- 88
- 00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:10,792
- with your pants on.
- 89
- 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:13,042
- Somebody's gonna get hurt
- and it's not gonna be me!
- 90
- 00:04:13,334 --> 00:04:15,834
- The Joneses were
- the big kahunas on the block -
- 91
- 00:04:16,126 --> 00:04:18,626
- the biggest house, the biggest car
- 92
- 00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:21,084
- and the biggest hair.
- 93
- 00:04:21,376 --> 00:04:24,376
- Rick sold drugs - groundbreaking drugs,
- 94
- 00:04:24,459 --> 00:04:26,042
- like tanning tablets and Valium.
- 95
- 00:04:26,126 --> 00:04:27,334
- Drugs that made their way
- 96
- 00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:29,709
- straight into the gob of his wife.
- 97
- 00:04:29,792 --> 00:04:33,084
- Jo owned a specialist travel agency.
- 98
- 00:04:33,251 --> 00:04:35,126
- Travel Exotica.
- 99
- 00:04:36,751 --> 00:04:39,292
- She didn't have to work. She chose to.
- 100
- 00:04:39,376 --> 00:04:41,459
- Tahiti looks nice.
- 101
- 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:44,376
- Simon? Tahiti!
- 102
- 00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:46,542
- Jo knew the world was changing
- 103
- 00:04:46,626 --> 00:04:48,584
- and she didn't want to miss
- the gravy boat.
- 104
- 00:04:48,709 --> 00:04:51,042
- Let 'em learn the hard way.
- 105
- 00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:55,126
- Naaaaahhh!
- 106
- 00:04:58,917 --> 00:05:01,084
- If you had to pick a superpower -
- 107
- 00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:02,792
- to fly or be invisible -
- 108
- 00:05:02,876 --> 00:05:04,167
- which would it be?
- 109
- 00:05:04,709 --> 00:05:07,626
- The first great love
- of my life, Melissa Jones,
- 110
- 00:05:07,709 --> 00:05:09,542
- chose invisibility.
- 111
- 00:05:09,626 --> 00:05:12,334
- She was the lost girl
- that only I could see.
- 112
- 00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,542
- Our fates were sealed
- by secrets so terrible
- 113
- 00:05:16,626 --> 00:05:18,542
- nobody dared talk about it.
- 114
- 00:05:18,626 --> 00:05:22,167
- We were the first generation to
- wear fully synthetic fabrics.
- 115
- 00:05:23,376 --> 00:05:25,876
- We were also... the last.
- 116
- 00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:29,542
- Shit!
- 117
- 00:05:29,626 --> 00:05:31,334
- Oh, my goodness! The kids!
- 118
- 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:38,209
- That famous election night
- left us both scarred for life.
- 119
- 00:05:38,292 --> 00:05:41,667
- Melly and I were the flammable children.
- 120
- 00:05:41,751 --> 00:05:43,626
- If Melly Jones picked invisibility,
- 121
- 00:05:43,709 --> 00:05:46,209
- I, Jeff Marsh, chose flight.
- 122
- 00:05:46,292 --> 00:05:48,042
- One, two, three.
- 123
- 00:05:48,709 --> 00:05:50,834
- Not too hot, not too cold.
- 124
- 00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,792
- My family was stuck
- 125
- 00:05:52,876 --> 00:05:54,792
- right in the middle of the cul-de-sac.
- 126
- 00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,084
- For cryin' out loud, Gerome!
- 127
- 00:05:56,167 --> 00:05:58,334
- You're soarin' poor bloody Sandy!
- 128
- 00:05:58,417 --> 00:06:00,097
- Mr. Marsh, you're gonna need
- a bigger boat.
- 129
- 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:01,834
- Nick off, will you?
- 130
- 00:06:01,917 --> 00:06:05,584
- My dad, Bob Marsh, loved
- playing the organ - badly.
- 131
- 00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:08,459
- He worked for a successful
- American gadget importer -
- 132
- 00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:09,751
- K-Tel.
- 133
- 00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:11,768
- Order now and you'll receive
- a bonus set of steak knives
- 134
- 00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:13,542
- absolutely free!
- 135
- 00:06:21,209 --> 00:06:24,292
- Needless to say, there were
- no surprises on Christmas Day.
- 136
- 00:06:24,376 --> 00:06:26,001
- Gee, you shouldn't have.
- 137
- 00:06:26,084 --> 00:06:27,959
- Trace-0-Matic Mark 2!
- 138
- 00:06:28,042 --> 00:06:30,042
- Uh-oh. Foot odour.
- 139
- 00:06:30,126 --> 00:06:32,417
- Oh, here she comes.
- Welcome, Sleeping Beauty.
- 140
- 00:06:32,501 --> 00:06:34,501
- Oh, I wonder who this is for.
- Oh, it's for me!
- 141
- 00:06:34,584 --> 00:06:36,334
- Thank you, darling.
- 142
- 00:06:37,792 --> 00:06:40,626
- Not on the carpet! It stains.
- 143
- 00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:44,126
- But wait - there's more!
- 144
- 00:06:44,209 --> 00:06:45,876
- Hey, Mum?
- 145
- 00:06:45,959 --> 00:06:48,667
- - I'm talking to the girls!
- - Mum!
- 146
- 00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:50,667
- Clean your room! The cleaner's coming!
- 147
- 00:06:50,751 --> 00:06:52,376
- Let's go.
- 148
- 00:06:52,459 --> 00:06:54,376
- My dear mum, Gale, was outgoing.
- 149
- 00:06:54,459 --> 00:06:56,292
- She kept herself busy doing...
- 150
- 00:06:56,376 --> 00:06:59,084
- ...well, actually, we don't
- really know what she did,
- 151
- 00:06:59,167 --> 00:07:01,542
- but we did know that she loved
- three things especially.
- 152
- 00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:03,459
- You cannot be serious!
- 153
- 00:07:03,542 --> 00:07:05,417
- Tennis, shopping and chatter.
- 154
- 00:07:05,501 --> 00:07:07,251
- I mean, John McEnroe!
- 155
- 00:07:07,334 --> 00:07:09,959
- My big sister, Bec, was also 'outgoing'.
- 156
- 00:07:10,042 --> 00:07:13,084
- The family doctor said
- she was very... active.
- 157
- 00:07:18,084 --> 00:07:20,292
- Evonne Goolagong is an Aboriginal.
- 158
- 00:07:20,376 --> 00:07:22,001
- She's just a young native.
- 159
- 00:07:22,084 --> 00:07:26,251
- But she's just fucking gold!
- It's extraordinary.
- 160
- 00:07:26,334 --> 00:07:28,626
- After the boredom of
- a six-hour shopping marathon,
- 161
- 00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:30,542
- Kmart kryptonite appeared
- 162
- 00:07:30,626 --> 00:07:33,917
- in the form of important,
- life-changing foreign cinema.
- 163
- 00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:36,001
- Come on down and chum some of this shit!
- 164
- 00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:44,876
- That stupid shopping centre
- gave me something
- 165
- 00:07:44,959 --> 00:07:46,584
- I didn't even know I was getting -
- 166
- 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,126
- an education.
- 167
- 00:07:49,084 --> 00:07:50,584
- My superpower exploded
- 168
- 00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:53,459
- in the form of a mighty Super 8 camera.
- 169
- 00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:55,542
- I was armed with a weapon so powerful
- 170
- 00:07:55,626 --> 00:07:58,292
- I could make boys like Gerome
- do anything I wanted.
- 171
- 00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:05,042
- And these three families
- collided every weekend
- 172
- 00:08:05,126 --> 00:08:08,001
- in the sand that time and taste forgot.
- 173
- 00:08:41,751 --> 00:08:43,376
- Bluebottles in the water!
- 174
- 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,584
- Want a top-up, ladies?
- 175
- 00:08:47,667 --> 00:08:50,459
- - Oh, yes!
- - Oh, yes, please!
- 176
- 00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:51,810
- Oh, you've gotta love a wine box.
- 177
- 00:08:51,834 --> 00:08:53,501
- You never know how much you've drunk!
- 178
- 00:08:53,584 --> 00:08:57,417
- Well, you know what they say,
- don't you? A happy wife...
- 179
- 00:08:57,501 --> 00:08:59,209
- A happy, long life.
- 180
- 00:09:06,876 --> 00:09:09,292
- Ooh, mate. That's good.
- 181
- 00:09:09,376 --> 00:09:11,084
- That's good.
- 182
- 00:09:19,417 --> 00:09:22,751
- Rooster? Sweetie, could you
- pick that up for me?
- 183
- 00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:24,917
- - Oh, sure, no worries, Mrs. J.
- - Ooh!
- 184
- 00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:34,751
- Now we know why they call it baby oil.
- 185
- 00:09:36,626 --> 00:09:38,501
- Yeah, you could pop it in the oven.
- 186
- 00:09:48,376 --> 00:09:50,167
- Eat as much as you can, boys.
- 187
- 00:09:52,126 --> 00:09:54,209
- Kentucky Fried Crumble!
- 188
- 00:09:55,417 --> 00:09:57,126
- Boys, get in!
- 189
- 00:10:02,376 --> 00:10:05,626
- Don't do that, boys!
- You know they're deadly.
- 190
- 00:10:07,709 --> 00:10:11,959
- Muuuummm!
- 191
- 00:10:13,459 --> 00:10:16,626
- Muuummm!
- 192
- 00:10:16,709 --> 00:10:19,792
- Urine counteracts. Toilets!
- 193
- 00:10:19,876 --> 00:10:21,501
- - No! Please don't pee on me!
- - Come on!
- 194
- 00:10:21,584 --> 00:10:23,292
- Please don't pee on me again!
- 195
- 00:10:47,001 --> 00:10:49,084
- No! No going in the water
- 196
- 00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:51,376
- till the whole drumstick
- goes down, alright?
- 197
- 00:10:51,459 --> 00:10:54,542
- Oh, stop being a water Nazi.
- 198
- 00:10:54,626 --> 00:10:56,542
- Go on. Off you go. Knock yourself out.
- 199
- 00:10:56,626 --> 00:10:58,251
- Love you, Dad!
- 200
- 00:11:09,751 --> 00:11:10,751
- What now?
- 201
- 00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:12,751
- What's wrong?
- 202
- 00:11:13,751 --> 00:11:15,834
- Oh, go see what she's done now.
- 203
- 00:11:15,917 --> 00:11:18,292
- What's the down low?
- 204
- 00:11:18,376 --> 00:11:21,292
- Give us a look. Come on.
- 205
- 00:11:27,959 --> 00:11:29,876
- Quit your whining! Cut it!
- 206
- 00:11:29,959 --> 00:11:31,251
- I said cut it!
- 207
- 00:11:31,834 --> 00:11:33,852
- If you don't quit your whining,
- you're gonna cop a hiding!
- 208
- 00:11:33,876 --> 00:11:35,959
- Rick? Deal with it!
- 209
- 00:11:36,042 --> 00:11:37,667
- - You understand?
- - Rick!
- 210
- 00:11:37,751 --> 00:11:39,501
- Come here!
- 211
- 00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:42,501
- Bloody embarrassing!
- Come on, get in the car!
- 212
- 00:11:43,542 --> 00:11:45,876
- Bag of chips and a pink lemonade.
- 213
- 00:11:45,959 --> 00:11:48,209
- And have a good think about
- the starving Africans!
- 214
- 00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:50,542
- The best days of our lives.
- 215
- 00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:53,001
- Am I rewriting history? Probably.
- 216
- 00:11:53,084 --> 00:11:54,751
- 'Cause God knows our parents did.
- 217
- 00:11:54,834 --> 00:11:56,459
- Attention, all Death Cheaters.
- 218
- 00:11:56,542 --> 00:11:58,417
- Camera's up. Let's grab the gear.
- 219
- 00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:02,042
- Boys! Zinc on noses! Skin cancer!
- 220
- 00:12:02,126 --> 00:12:04,251
- Oh! Don't be ridiculous!
- 221
- 00:12:05,542 --> 00:12:07,251
- Blister!
- 222
- 00:12:20,709 --> 00:12:22,334
- Arggh!
- 223
- 00:12:22,417 --> 00:12:24,042
- Fuckin' bluebottles!
- 224
- 00:12:24,126 --> 00:12:26,126
- And they really fucking hurt!
- 225
- 00:12:26,209 --> 00:12:29,459
- - Suck eggs!
- - Mum is gonna piss on you!
- 226
- 00:12:29,542 --> 00:12:33,001
- Hey! Do you want the Chiko
- Rolls and Sunny Boys or not?
- 227
- 00:12:33,084 --> 00:12:34,792
- Death Cheaters, attack!
- 228
- 00:12:37,709 --> 00:12:41,542
- I've only got 11 seconds of
- film left. Stop mucking around!
- 229
- 00:12:42,417 --> 00:12:43,959
- I always wanted to be a filmmaker.
- 230
- 00:12:45,417 --> 00:12:47,292
- My problem was a plot.
- 231
- 00:12:47,376 --> 00:12:50,084
- Australia and I were hopelessly
- bobbing around the Pacific
- 232
- 00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:51,626
- looking for a direction.
- 233
- 00:12:51,709 --> 00:12:53,792
- Whale! Whale!
- 234
- 00:12:53,876 --> 00:12:55,084
- Whale!
- 235
- 00:12:55,584 --> 00:12:57,334
- I AM wailing!
- 236
- 00:12:58,042 --> 00:12:59,417
- And thanks to a full moon
- 237
- 00:12:59,501 --> 00:13:01,584
- and the king tide that followed,
- 238
- 00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:03,042
- I finally found one.
- 239
- 00:13:03,126 --> 00:13:04,834
- Ow, ow, ow!
- 240
- 00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:06,292
- Go get the camera!
- 241
- 00:13:06,376 --> 00:13:08,334
- Come here! Look at the whale!
- 242
- 00:13:09,959 --> 00:13:11,251
- Look at this!
- 243
- 00:13:11,334 --> 00:13:12,626
- Come check it out!
- 244
- 00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:18,042
- The great blue whale.
- 245
- 00:13:18,834 --> 00:13:20,501
- This is bigger than Ben-Hur.
- 246
- 00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:25,084
- Go! Come on! Let's go, go, go! Go!
- 247
- 00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:26,917
- Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow!
- 248
- 00:13:28,292 --> 00:13:31,209
- Dad, grab the zoom. This is humungous.
- 249
- 00:13:31,292 --> 00:13:32,917
- Wh...?
- 250
- 00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:35,792
- Residents of this sleepy seaside suburb
- 251
- 00:13:35,876 --> 00:13:38,584
- awoke to a new, blue tourist attraction.
- 252
- 00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:41,626
- Wallaroo locals are flocking
- to see the dead whale,
- 253
- 00:13:41,709 --> 00:13:44,459
- much to the delight of
- schoolkids, seniors
- 254
- 00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:46,376
- and salivating seagulls.
- 255
- 00:13:49,042 --> 00:13:50,834
- It's a whale!
- 256
- 00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,709
- And it's fucking on the beach!
- 257
- 00:13:52,792 --> 00:13:55,209
- Not fucking on the
- beach, on the fucking beach.
- 258
- 00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:56,501
- And stop fuckin' swearing!
- 259
- 00:13:56,584 --> 00:13:58,865
- You're not bringing a whale
- home. I'll tell you right now.
- 260
- 00:13:58,917 --> 00:14:02,042
- This mullet has ruined
- a perfectly good day!
- 261
- 00:14:02,126 --> 00:14:03,751
- Ruined? Nah.
- 262
- 00:14:03,834 --> 00:14:06,001
- I reckon he's gonna put
- Wallaroo on the map.
- 263
- 00:14:06,084 --> 00:14:08,001
- He's a real live dead whale.
- 264
- 00:14:08,084 --> 00:14:10,251
- Him? I didn't see a penis.
- 265
- 00:14:10,334 --> 00:14:12,834
- - I think he's a ripper!
- - I think he's revolting!
- 266
- 00:14:12,917 --> 00:14:14,667
- And I think I'd better get a photo.
- 267
- 00:14:14,751 --> 00:14:16,584
- OK, everybody, looking at the sun.
- 268
- 00:14:16,667 --> 00:14:18,292
- Come on, come on!
- 269
- 00:14:18,376 --> 00:14:20,167
- Big smiles. That's it.
- 270
- 00:14:20,251 --> 00:14:23,667
- Everyone ready? One, two, three, and...
- 271
- 00:14:23,751 --> 00:14:25,417
- Hang on a minute.
- 272
- 00:14:25,501 --> 00:14:27,126
- Come on, mate!
- 273
- 00:14:27,209 --> 00:14:30,542
- Looking up at the sun!
- One, two, three, and...
- 274
- 00:14:30,626 --> 00:14:32,251
- Hang on a minute.
- 275
- 00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:34,792
- - Come on, Dad!
- - Here we go.
- 276
- 00:14:34,876 --> 00:14:37,584
- One... two... three...
- 277
- 00:14:40,334 --> 00:14:41,334
- Brilliant.
- 278
- 00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:48,209
- Ooh, clean bowled him!
- Brilliant. Bowled by Lillee.
- 279
- 00:14:48,292 --> 00:14:50,876
- Would you like an ice-cream,
- little girl?
- 280
- 00:14:52,126 --> 00:14:54,167
- I'm not allowed to talk to strangers.
- 281
- 00:15:00,417 --> 00:15:02,209
- Have a look at the whale!
- 282
- 00:15:05,876 --> 00:15:07,626
- Thank Christ we got a park, darl.
- 283
- 00:15:09,126 --> 00:15:11,084
- Melly, come see. This is ginormous.
- 284
- 00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:12,834
- I told you to stay in the car
- 285
- 00:15:12,917 --> 00:15:14,542
- or you'd cop a hiding, young lady!
- 286
- 00:15:14,626 --> 00:15:16,334
- Oh, don't be a bully, darling.
- 287
- 00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:26,126
- And on behalf of the Wallaroo Council,
- 288
- 00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:28,792
- I'd like to welcome our strange visitor
- 289
- 00:15:28,876 --> 00:15:30,584
- and congratulate him
- 290
- 00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:32,917
- on his fine choice
- of holiday destination.
- 291
- 00:15:34,709 --> 00:15:36,334
- You got loose change in your Speedos?
- 292
- 00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:38,501
- Why not invest in a Funk and Wagnalls...
- 293
- 00:15:38,584 --> 00:15:39,959
- She's crying.
- 294
- 00:15:40,042 --> 00:15:42,792
- Yeah, well, of course, she's
- crying, you idiot. She's dead!
- 295
- 00:15:42,876 --> 00:15:44,501
- - Hey, cork it, Liam!
- - Oh, yeah?
- 296
- 00:15:44,584 --> 00:15:46,876
- What are you gonna do?
- Are you gonna film me to death?
- 297
- 00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:50,376
- You lightweight hammerhead!
- 298
- 00:15:50,459 --> 00:15:52,435
- Looks like you might have
- found yourself a plot, tiger.
- 299
- 00:15:52,459 --> 00:15:54,917
- It's got a beginning, a middle
- and an end.
- 300
- 00:15:57,876 --> 00:16:00,417
- Oh!
- 301
- 00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,751
- Bloody hell.
- 302
- 00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:04,459
- Oh, I think I'm gonna hurl!
- 303
- 00:16:04,542 --> 00:16:06,709
- This is revolting!
- 304
- 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,054
- Maybe we should take
- a raincheck on tonight.
- 305
- 00:16:09,084 --> 00:16:11,001
- What? No.
- 306
- 00:16:11,084 --> 00:16:12,804
- We've been planning this
- evening for months.
- 307
- 00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:14,626
- I'm not giving it up for... Flipper.
- 308
- 00:16:14,709 --> 00:16:16,334
- - No.
- - No.
- 309
- 00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:19,126
- Righto! Dinner - Chateau Jones.
- 310
- 00:16:19,209 --> 00:16:21,584
- Got a little surprise for you boys!
- 311
- 00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:24,876
- Oh, Christ, we'd better beat
- the traffic! Come on! Let's go!
- 312
- 00:16:27,042 --> 00:16:28,751
- - Quit your bloody whingeing!
- - Ow, ow!
- 313
- 00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:30,810
- - I'm not going tonight.
- - It's just a dinner party!
- 314
- 00:16:30,834 --> 00:16:32,459
- Get us to the bank!
- 315
- 00:16:32,542 --> 00:16:34,167
- We're gonna starve like Africans.
- 316
- 00:16:34,251 --> 00:16:35,876
- Righto, righto. Enough.
- 317
- 00:16:35,959 --> 00:16:37,584
- That's where you're going. In the back.
- 318
- 00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:39,501
- - It's hot in there!
- - Ow, ow! Ow, ow!
- 319
- 00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:41,959
- Dad, your ciggie hit me in the boobs!
- 320
- 00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:45,334
- Get out, smelly. Couldn't get
- a fuck in a Frankfurt factory.
- 321
- 00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:55,917
- Balaenoptera musculus -
- the great blue whale.
- 322
- 00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:59,126
- It's the largest animal
- ever known to have existed.
- 323
- 00:16:59,209 --> 00:17:02,459
- Melissa! We have guests coming!
- 324
- 00:17:02,542 --> 00:17:05,626
- If you think you can embarrass
- me more than twice in a row,
- 325
- 00:17:05,709 --> 00:17:07,376
- you've got another thing coming!
- 326
- 00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:26,209
- Mum, what's with the Sportsgirl white?
- 327
- 00:17:26,292 --> 00:17:27,917
- It's not a special occasion.
- 328
- 00:17:28,001 --> 00:17:29,626
- Oh, mind your own business!
- 329
- 00:17:29,709 --> 00:17:31,334
- Bob? Do I look alright?
- 330
- 00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:33,042
- Yeah, you look fine.
- 331
- 00:17:33,126 --> 00:17:34,751
- Party time!
- 332
- 00:17:34,834 --> 00:17:36,518
- Oh, Keith, be a doll
- and carry that up, will you?
- 333
- 00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:38,209
- - Oh. Look at that.
- - Thank you.
- 334
- 00:17:38,292 --> 00:17:39,959
- Pineapple explosion!
- 335
- 00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:45,584
- Well, the boys bring a bottle,
- the ladies bring a plate!
- 336
- 00:17:45,667 --> 00:17:47,584
- Oh, they do, they do.
- 337
- 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,018
- - Hello!
- - Oh, what you got there, love?
- 338
- 00:17:49,042 --> 00:17:50,042
- Look at that!
- 339
- 00:17:50,126 --> 00:17:51,376
- Nice to see you without
- 340
- 00:17:51,459 --> 00:17:53,352
- that dingbat camera in front
- of your face, Jeffrey.
- 341
- 00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,167
- - G'day, Rick.
- - Thank you. Hey, mate.
- 342
- 00:17:55,251 --> 00:17:58,501
- No cameras tonight.
- That means you too, Bob.
- 343
- 00:17:58,584 --> 00:18:00,268
- I don't know what
- you ladies are cooking up,
- 344
- 00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:01,667
- but the suspense is killing me.
- 345
- 00:18:01,751 --> 00:18:03,042
- What time is it there, Rick?
- 346
- 00:18:03,126 --> 00:18:05,167
- One o'clock, Bob.
- 347
- 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,042
- Care to partake, Mrs Marsh?
- 348
- 00:18:07,126 --> 00:18:08,751
- Does liquid get into this chalk?
- 349
- 00:18:08,834 --> 00:18:10,459
- You know you're soaking in it!
- 350
- 00:18:10,542 --> 00:18:12,792
- Alright. Feed the kids.
- 351
- 00:18:12,876 --> 00:18:15,584
- Time to crank up some tunes.
- What have we got over here?
- 352
- 00:18:17,251 --> 00:18:19,417
- Oh! Straight off the boat!
- 353
- 00:18:19,876 --> 00:18:21,126
- Swingin' Safari!
- 354
- 00:18:21,209 --> 00:18:22,834
- Put it on! Crank it!
- 355
- 00:18:22,917 --> 00:18:25,042
- Melissa!
- 356
- 00:18:25,126 --> 00:18:27,542
- You're missing out... again.
- 357
- 00:18:41,626 --> 00:18:44,584
- - Like a moon landing.
- - Yeah.
- 358
- 00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:47,667
- - Happy belated, Keith.
- - Oh, what the hell's that?
- 359
- 00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:51,417
- This is a native dart gun, all
- the way from Papua New Guinea.
- 360
- 00:18:51,501 --> 00:18:54,959
- - Right.
- - Exotic Papua New Guinea.
- 361
- 00:18:55,042 --> 00:18:56,667
- Wow.
- 362
- 00:18:56,751 --> 00:18:58,417
- - Hey, Sandy...
- - Oh!
- 363
- 00:18:58,501 --> 00:19:00,751
- - Oi! Keith!
- - Only joking! Only joking.
- 364
- 00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:03,751
- I tell you, one day,
- that dogs gonna explode!
- 365
- 00:19:08,417 --> 00:19:09,876
- <i>Top shot'.!</i>
- 366
- 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,268
- There'll be more than
- balloons popping tonight,
- 367
- 00:19:12,292 --> 00:19:13,917
- Keith Hall.
- 368
- 00:19:27,126 --> 00:19:29,584
- New moves! Come on! Let's dance!
- 369
- 00:19:31,834 --> 00:19:34,334
- You kids keep it down in there, alright?
- 370
- 00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:36,417
- You take a big chunk,
- a chunk of blubber.
- 371
- 00:19:36,501 --> 00:19:39,376
- Don't.
- 372
- 00:19:41,251 --> 00:19:44,459
- I told you to keep it down,
- or I'd knock your blocks off!
- 373
- 00:19:44,542 --> 00:19:45,959
- Boofheads!
- 374
- 00:19:47,459 --> 00:19:48,667
- Cripes almighty!
- 375
- 00:19:48,751 --> 00:19:51,584
- Go talk to your daughter!
- She's doing my head in.
- 376
- 00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:55,001
- What's going on with that umbrella?
- 377
- 00:19:55,084 --> 00:19:57,584
- Darling, can you eat
- one of these in front of me
- 378
- 00:19:57,667 --> 00:19:59,501
- so I know you're not gonna
- starve to death?
- 379
- 00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,876
- I'm not hungry.
- 380
- 00:20:02,959 --> 00:20:06,459
- I SO don't have time for this.
- 381
- 00:20:07,334 --> 00:20:08,667
- Alright.
- 382
- 00:20:08,751 --> 00:20:13,584
- Nobody leaves this table
- till Melissa eats two rissoles.
- 383
- 00:20:15,959 --> 00:20:17,667
- And you eat them, darling,
- 384
- 00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:20,334
- or I'll shove 'em down your throat.
- 385
- 00:20:20,417 --> 00:20:23,084
- Just friggin' eat it! Come on!
- 386
- 00:20:23,167 --> 00:20:24,792
- Eat the rissoles!
- 387
- 00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,959
- - Hurry up!
- - Eat, eat, eat!
- 388
- 00:20:34,084 --> 00:20:35,709
- - Just eat it.
- - Eat it!
- 389
- 00:20:35,792 --> 00:20:38,001
- Eat 'em, you 'tard,
- so we can all get out of here!
- 390
- 00:20:38,084 --> 00:20:40,459
- And then he says, "Now
- we can all get some sleep!"
- 391
- 00:20:40,542 --> 00:20:42,459
- Ooh, Jesus!
- 392
- 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,959
- Here we go with the umbrella business.
- 393
- 00:20:45,042 --> 00:20:46,834
- Rick, I've told you a thousand times,
- 394
- 00:20:46,917 --> 00:20:48,584
- these things are bloody lethal, mate!
- 395
- 00:20:48,667 --> 00:20:50,292
- Yes, Bob. We've heard it all before.
- 396
- 00:20:50,376 --> 00:20:52,001
- Umbrellas should be screwed down!
- 397
- 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,584
- You'll thank me for this one day!
- 398
- 00:20:53,667 --> 00:20:55,042
- Nervous?
- 399
- 00:20:56,251 --> 00:20:57,792
- Short-changed.
- 400
- 00:20:59,084 --> 00:21:00,792
- Whatever happened to pink ponies
- 401
- 00:21:00,876 --> 00:21:02,917
- and Leif Garrett posters?
- 402
- 00:21:03,001 --> 00:21:07,501
- Honestly, sometimes I wish
- we'd just stopped at the boys.
- 403
- 00:21:10,209 --> 00:21:12,834
- - Ooh. Oh...
- - Anyway...
- 404
- 00:21:12,917 --> 00:21:16,459
- Check out Liam -
- shit-scared of a dolphin!
- 405
- 00:21:17,959 --> 00:21:19,251
- Yeah, rack off, Andrew!
- 406
- 00:21:19,334 --> 00:21:21,001
- What about the bird sanctuary?
- 407
- 00:21:21,084 --> 00:21:22,876
- Aggro! Pissing his pants!
- 408
- 00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:24,959
- Yeah? Wanna keep those teeth, homo?
- 409
- 00:21:25,042 --> 00:21:26,667
- I was scared.
- 410
- 00:21:26,751 --> 00:21:28,151
- Keira still cries herself to sleep.
- 411
- 00:21:29,126 --> 00:21:31,542
- Who feeds kids
- to sugar-crazed lorikeets?
- 412
- 00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,834
- One day we should sue
- our parents for child abuse.
- 413
- 00:21:37,376 --> 00:21:38,417
- Psst.
- 414
- 00:21:39,751 --> 00:21:41,001
- What's the matter?
- 415
- 00:21:41,084 --> 00:21:42,792
- The whale.
- 416
- 00:21:57,001 --> 00:22:00,584
- Jeff, Jeff, we've got a stunt to shoot!
- 417
- 00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:02,626
- Melly, darling,
- did you eat your din-dins?
- 418
- 00:22:03,834 --> 00:22:06,501
- Oh, good girl. Right, then.
- 419
- 00:22:06,584 --> 00:22:09,251
- Everybody off the leash.
- Rumpus room now. Come on.
- 420
- 00:22:09,334 --> 00:22:12,167
- No more shenanigans!
- You hear me, you rug rats?
- 421
- 00:22:22,417 --> 00:22:25,126
- OK, OK. Death Cheaters, saddle up.
- 422
- 00:22:25,209 --> 00:22:27,542
- Tonight we're gonna pull off
- our biggest stunt ever.
- 423
- 00:22:32,042 --> 00:22:35,626
- Death from above!
- 424
- 00:22:35,709 --> 00:22:37,459
- Give me a turn!
- 425
- 00:22:37,542 --> 00:22:40,334
- - “A - “Ay turn! Y turn! My turn!
- 426
- 00:22:40,417 --> 00:22:42,042
- Then what? You dip it in?
- 427
- 00:22:42,126 --> 00:22:44,084
- Righto! I knew a girl like that once.
- 428
- 00:22:44,167 --> 00:22:45,792
- It's pretty fancy.
- 429
- 00:22:45,876 --> 00:22:48,584
- Well, on that note,
- should I spin the lazy Susan?
- 430
- 00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:50,876
- - Why's she lazy anyway?
- - Oh, it's Chinese.
- 431
- 00:22:50,959 --> 00:22:52,143
- What do you mean, it's Chinese?
- 432
- 00:22:52,167 --> 00:22:53,584
- It would have been lazy Sichuan.
- 433
- 00:22:54,667 --> 00:22:56,959
- - Dip it in, and that's...
- - Cheese?
- 434
- 00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:59,667
- Full of holes. Just like my wife.
- 435
- 00:22:59,751 --> 00:23:01,667
- My grandmother swore by Coon cheese.
- 436
- 00:23:01,751 --> 00:23:04,042
- She lived to 72. Said it was
- her fountain of youth.
- 437
- 00:23:11,667 --> 00:23:13,626
- We're just... going for a walk.
- 438
- 00:23:13,709 --> 00:23:15,542
- And don't you dare tell Mum.
- 439
- 00:23:15,626 --> 00:23:17,917
- Us too. Got a stunt to shoot.
- 440
- 00:23:18,792 --> 00:23:19,792
- Coming?
- 441
- 00:23:19,876 --> 00:23:21,917
- Everyone's annoying me
- and it's not fair!
- 442
- 00:23:22,001 --> 00:23:23,626
- Alright, now, Liz... Liz! Liz!
- 443
- 00:23:23,709 --> 00:23:25,667
- Give us the signal
- if they come looking, OK?
- 444
- 00:23:25,751 --> 00:23:29,126
- Not listening! Not listening!
- I want to go home!
- 445
- 00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:30,834
- Can I come?
- 446
- 00:23:30,917 --> 00:23:32,917
- No, um... you get to watch a movie.
- 447
- 00:23:33,001 --> 00:23:34,459
- Deep Throat. It's about a dentist.
- 448
- 00:23:34,751 --> 00:23:36,751
- Look! Look, look, look!
- 449
- 00:23:36,834 --> 00:23:39,001
- I actually need Melly
- for this one. Melly?
- 450
- 00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:41,292
- A girl? Shit a brick!
- 451
- 00:23:41,376 --> 00:23:43,042
- UP yours, Jeff! No way!
- 452
- 00:23:43,126 --> 00:23:44,751
- Hey, I'm the director, OK?
- 453
- 00:23:44,834 --> 00:23:46,251
- You wanna be in this movie or what?
- 454
- 00:23:46,792 --> 00:23:48,667
- Melly, welcome to the Death Cheaters.
- 455
- 00:23:56,834 --> 00:23:58,626
- OK, Death Cheaters, hose him down.
- 456
- 00:23:58,709 --> 00:24:00,334
- Soak him good,
- because it'll protect him.
- 457
- 00:24:00,417 --> 00:24:01,834
- Scotty, water!
- 458
- 00:24:04,167 --> 00:24:06,334
- OK, boss. Water's coming on.
- 459
- 00:24:07,084 --> 00:24:08,084
- Ohh!
- 460
- 00:24:08,167 --> 00:24:10,167
- So, you're a normal bloke
- tossing the chops,
- 461
- 00:24:10,251 --> 00:24:12,393
- then it all goes pear-shaped
- when the barbecue explodes.
- 462
- 00:24:12,417 --> 00:24:14,126
- Damian, fuel!
- 463
- 00:24:20,251 --> 00:24:22,209
- Milady.
- 464
- 00:24:22,292 --> 00:24:24,084
- - What's that?
- - Wardrobe.
- 465
- 00:24:24,167 --> 00:24:25,251
- Mum's old wedding dress.
- 466
- 00:24:25,334 --> 00:24:27,459
- She never wears it. Head protection!
- 467
- 00:24:27,542 --> 00:24:29,792
- One of Aunty Jo's. 100% fireproof.
- 468
- 00:24:29,876 --> 00:24:31,792
- What am I, a poofter?
- 469
- 00:24:31,876 --> 00:24:33,584
- Yeah, thanks for that, Gerome.
- 470
- 00:24:33,667 --> 00:24:35,876
- We've only got a half hour
- tops. Everybody in position.
- 471
- 00:24:35,959 --> 00:24:37,584
- Andrew, ignition.
- 472
- 00:24:37,667 --> 00:24:40,084
- I yell "turps", OK,
- you throw the grenade.
- 473
- 00:24:40,167 --> 00:24:42,007
- Scotty, he yells "water",
- we're shutting down -
- 474
- 00:24:42,084 --> 00:24:43,709
- Hunter runs the hose,
- Melly puts him out.
- 475
- 00:24:43,792 --> 00:24:45,751
- Travis, you are on lookout. Got it?
- 476
- 00:24:45,834 --> 00:24:47,459
- Ready when you are, CB!
- 477
- 00:24:47,542 --> 00:24:50,501
- Jeff, please. I want to go back
- and watch Mr. Squiggle.
- 478
- 00:24:50,584 --> 00:24:52,560
- No, no, no, no, no.
- But you're a Death Cheater now.
- 479
- 00:24:52,584 --> 00:24:55,459
- And it's perfectly safe. You're
- not gonna get burnt, Gerome is.
- 480
- 00:24:57,251 --> 00:24:58,876
- - Can you put a Flake in there?
- - Yeah.
- 481
- 00:24:58,959 --> 00:25:02,542
- Well, tonight is about new rules!
- 482
- 00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:05,292
- Anybody who drops their bread
- in the fondue
- 483
- 00:25:05,376 --> 00:25:07,417
- has to kiss the person next to them.
- 484
- 00:25:07,501 --> 00:25:10,709
- Yeah.
- 485
- 00:25:10,792 --> 00:25:12,126
- Why not?
- 486
- 00:25:18,417 --> 00:25:20,126
- What's that?
- 487
- 00:25:21,792 --> 00:25:24,459
- Here, try it. It's the stuff
- Mum puts in her cola.
- 488
- 00:25:24,542 --> 00:25:27,167
- No! We gotta roll!
- Bring on the safety water!
- 489
- 00:25:27,251 --> 00:25:31,459
- - More safety water!
- - It's cold! Arggh!
- 490
- 00:25:31,542 --> 00:25:33,417
- Oh!
- 491
- 00:25:33,501 --> 00:25:36,501
- No, no. I got it, I got it,
- I got it! I got it. No, no.
- 492
- 00:25:36,584 --> 00:25:38,251
- You can't pick it up.
- 493
- 00:25:38,334 --> 00:25:39,959
- You can't cheat, mate.
- 494
- 00:25:40,042 --> 00:25:41,834
- Everybody in position.
- 495
- 00:25:42,459 --> 00:25:43,667
- Camera rolling.
- 496
- 00:25:43,751 --> 00:25:45,376
- Here we go again!
- 497
- 00:25:45,459 --> 00:25:47,084
- Whoops!
- 498
- 00:25:47,167 --> 00:25:49,876
- Death Cheaters On Fire! And action!
- 499
- 00:25:49,959 --> 00:25:51,626
- Oh, my God! The chops!
- 500
- 00:25:55,501 --> 00:25:57,209
- Arggh!
- 501
- 00:25:57,292 --> 00:26:00,417
- - Anything you want, mate.
- - Oops! Dropped mine.
- 502
- 00:26:00,501 --> 00:26:02,459
- Pucker up, Keith.
- 503
- 00:26:02,542 --> 00:26:05,001
- Whew! Crikey!
- 504
- 00:26:14,251 --> 00:26:16,001
- Catch.
- 505
- 00:26:27,167 --> 00:26:29,084
- Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
- 506
- 00:26:36,084 --> 00:26:38,084
- Ohhh!
- 507
- 00:26:39,209 --> 00:26:40,834
- Jeff, there's no water!
- 508
- 00:26:40,917 --> 00:26:42,542
- Oh, bugger it!
- 509
- 00:26:42,626 --> 00:26:43,792
- Whoa!
- 510
- 00:26:44,584 --> 00:26:46,334
- Travis, you're stepping on the hose!
- 511
- 00:26:46,417 --> 00:26:48,167
- Whoo-hoo!
- 512
- 00:26:48,251 --> 00:26:49,876
- You're in trouble now, mate!
- 513
- 00:26:58,167 --> 00:27:00,167
- Pool! Pool! Jump in the pool!
- 514
- 00:27:09,667 --> 00:27:12,501
- Here's to Bob's umbrella phobia. Cheers.
- 515
- 00:27:12,584 --> 00:27:14,709
- Yes! Yes!
- 516
- 00:27:14,792 --> 00:27:17,334
- - Yes! Great!
- - And cut!
- 517
- 00:27:17,417 --> 00:27:19,084
- That was fucking untold!
- 518
- 00:27:19,167 --> 00:27:22,542
- Are you trying to kill me?!
- I'm not doing this anymore!
- 519
- 00:27:22,626 --> 00:27:24,959
- I quit! Give me the vodka!
- 520
- 00:27:25,042 --> 00:27:27,584
- This pool stinks of petrol!
- 521
- 00:27:27,667 --> 00:27:29,709
- - I'm on it, alright?
- - Bags first!
- 522
- 00:27:31,751 --> 00:27:32,917
- Arggh!
- 523
- 00:27:39,126 --> 00:27:41,667
- Dickhead!
- 524
- 00:27:41,751 --> 00:27:44,542
- Alright. Number 96 is about to
- start. Everybody off to bed.
- 525
- 00:27:45,834 --> 00:27:48,542
- - Go on. Get going.
- - Sleep tight, boys.
- 526
- 00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:51,417
- Jesus, Gerome, what are you playing at?
- 527
- 00:27:51,501 --> 00:27:54,376
- - Batman.
- - What?
- 528
- 00:27:54,459 --> 00:27:57,167
- Alright. Come on. Achtung. Get moving.
- 529
- 00:27:57,251 --> 00:28:00,376
- Uncle Rick, can I, um,
- stay here with Melly?
- 530
- 00:28:02,042 --> 00:28:04,376
- Don't see a problem with that, stud.
- 531
- 00:28:09,334 --> 00:28:10,959
- Go on.
- 532
- 00:28:11,042 --> 00:28:14,626
- Night-night! Sleep tight!
- Don't let the bedbugs bite!
- 533
- 00:28:17,001 --> 00:28:18,459
- Thank God.
- 534
- 00:28:22,501 --> 00:28:24,501
- You wanna turn the telly over?
- 535
- 00:28:24,584 --> 00:28:26,251
- Like... upside down?
- 536
- 00:28:30,501 --> 00:28:33,167
- Ohh, Rick, go for it, mate!
- 537
- 00:28:36,167 --> 00:28:38,542
- It's all getting a bit...
- moist under the collar.
- 538
- 00:28:40,126 --> 00:28:42,376
- Last chance to turn back.
- 539
- 00:28:42,459 --> 00:28:44,459
- No.
- 540
- 00:28:44,542 --> 00:28:46,292
- No.
- 541
- 00:28:46,376 --> 00:28:48,834
- Where's that fondue?
- 542
- 00:28:50,834 --> 00:28:52,126
- You alive?
- 543
- 00:28:55,126 --> 00:28:56,251
- No.
- 544
- 00:28:57,501 --> 00:28:59,126
- I'm really sorry.
- 545
- 00:28:59,209 --> 00:29:01,167
- It's gonna be an awesome
- sequence in the film.
- 546
- 00:29:02,251 --> 00:29:03,959
- What's the film about?
- 547
- 00:29:05,501 --> 00:29:07,667
- Haven't figured that bit out yet.
- 548
- 00:29:07,751 --> 00:29:09,209
- Is the whale gonna be in it?
- 549
- 00:29:10,292 --> 00:29:11,917
- I guess so.
- 550
- 00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:15,751
- The TV said that she did it on purpose.
- 551
- 00:29:18,584 --> 00:29:21,042
- That she swam up the beach deliberately.
- 552
- 00:29:24,001 --> 00:29:25,709
- Why would she have done that?
- 553
- 00:29:27,376 --> 00:29:29,292
- Do you think she got lost?
- 554
- 00:29:30,376 --> 00:29:31,667
- I don't know.
- 555
- 00:29:36,542 --> 00:29:38,251
- Will you sleep with me?
- 556
- 00:29:43,251 --> 00:29:44,876
- I'm scared.
- 557
- 00:29:45,417 --> 00:29:46,667
- Of what?
- 558
- 00:29:49,542 --> 00:29:51,084
- Everything.
- 559
- 00:30:19,084 --> 00:30:20,459
- Like Nanna does.
- 560
- 00:30:24,501 --> 00:30:26,251
- Put your arm around me.
- 561
- 00:30:43,334 --> 00:30:45,584
- Whoo-hoo!
- 562
- 00:30:47,584 --> 00:30:49,501
- Andrew, you dimwit! Go home!
- 563
- 00:30:50,501 --> 00:30:52,292
- Yes!
- 564
- 00:30:57,751 --> 00:31:00,126
- Yeah, she... she thought
- it was the other one!
- 565
- 00:31:02,209 --> 00:31:06,376
- The next game is called Swinging Safari.
- 566
- 00:31:06,459 --> 00:31:07,834
- Oh, yeah?
- 567
- 00:31:08,209 --> 00:31:09,834
- This is a vase.
- 568
- 00:31:09,917 --> 00:31:13,876
- Gentlemen, you all have keys.
- 569
- 00:31:15,584 --> 00:31:16,959
- Ooh!
- 570
- 00:31:17,626 --> 00:31:20,751
- Oh, no way!
- 571
- 00:31:20,834 --> 00:31:22,584
- - You're joking.
- - Yes.
- 572
- 00:31:22,667 --> 00:31:24,292
- You've heard about it,
- 573
- 00:31:24,376 --> 00:31:26,459
- you've read about it,
- 574
- 00:31:26,542 --> 00:31:29,542
- and tonight, you're going to live it.
- 575
- 00:31:30,209 --> 00:31:36,251
- Because the world is spinning
- like a rotisserie chook.
- 576
- 00:31:36,334 --> 00:31:39,001
- Who wants to get left behind?
- 577
- 00:31:43,209 --> 00:31:44,417
- Stuff it. I'm in.
- 578
- 00:31:50,251 --> 00:31:51,251
- I'm in.
- 579
- 00:31:53,542 --> 00:31:54,626
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- 580
- 00:32:03,959 --> 00:32:05,501
- Now.
- 581
- 00:32:05,584 --> 00:32:07,792
- Gale, darling,
- would you like to go first?
- 582
- 00:32:29,084 --> 00:32:30,542
- My hand's stuck.
- 583
- 00:32:32,292 --> 00:32:34,501
- - My hand's stuck.
- - Oh, no!
- 584
- 00:32:34,584 --> 00:32:35,792
- Come here, come here.
- 585
- 00:32:35,876 --> 00:32:37,716
- No, no, no. It's stuck.
- It's stuck. It's stuck.
- 586
- 00:32:37,751 --> 00:32:39,667
- - It's stuck!
- - Push it back in.
- 587
- 00:32:39,751 --> 00:32:43,376
- I'll just... l'll just...
- I'll get the KY jelly.
- 588
- 00:32:43,459 --> 00:32:45,667
- - Gale, darling...
- - It's alright. I'm fine.
- 589
- 00:32:45,751 --> 00:32:48,001
- - Pull it harder, mate!
- - I'm pulling!
- 590
- 00:32:48,084 --> 00:32:50,209
- She's gotta let go of the keys!
- 591
- 00:32:50,292 --> 00:32:52,459
- - Don't lose the mood!
- - Ouch!
- 592
- 00:32:58,084 --> 00:32:59,417
- What's that?
- 593
- 00:33:06,709 --> 00:33:07,709
- Ooh!
- 594
- 00:34:13,292 --> 00:34:14,501
- This is wrong.
- 595
- 00:34:15,917 --> 00:34:17,334
- All of it!
- 596
- 00:34:19,376 --> 00:34:20,876
- Look at us!
- 597
- 00:34:22,251 --> 00:34:24,167
- We should all be ashamed of ourselves.
- 598
- 00:34:24,251 --> 00:34:26,792
- - Oh, God!
- - Come on, Sandy.
- 599
- 00:34:30,001 --> 00:34:32,542
- Oh, Keith...
- 600
- 00:34:32,626 --> 00:34:34,251
- - Give us a jiffy.
- - Keith, stop it.
- 601
- 00:34:34,334 --> 00:34:35,667
- Two ticks. Nearly there.
- 602
- 00:34:35,834 --> 00:34:37,292
- I'll give you more than two ticks
- 603
- 00:34:37,376 --> 00:34:38,560
- if you don't stop plonking my wife!
- 604
- 00:34:38,584 --> 00:34:41,084
- Stop it. Stop it.
- 605
- 00:34:42,959 --> 00:34:45,584
- Get off her, or you'll be
- dead sorry in the morning!
- 606
- 00:35:08,251 --> 00:35:09,876
- Come on, get in the car!
- 607
- 00:35:09,959 --> 00:35:11,685
- Why can't we catch the bus
- like everybody else?
- 608
- 00:35:11,709 --> 00:35:13,584
- Because you're not like everybody else!
- 609
- 00:35:13,667 --> 00:35:15,667
- - Shut it!
- - Oh, now we're trapped.
- 610
- 00:35:15,751 --> 00:35:18,209
- Why are you being such a dick, Dad?
- 611
- 00:35:20,251 --> 00:35:22,501
- - Just shut up!
- - Yeah? You gonna make me?
- 612
- 00:35:22,584 --> 00:35:24,584
- Oop!
- 613
- 00:35:24,667 --> 00:35:26,292
- Ooh!
- 614
- 00:35:29,667 --> 00:35:31,626
- Oi! Hey!
- 615
- 00:35:33,542 --> 00:35:36,001
- - You alright, mate?
- - Yep. Yeah, I'm good.
- 616
- 00:35:36,084 --> 00:35:38,584
- - Oh, Dad ran over Jeff.
- - Bloody idiot.
- 617
- 00:35:42,167 --> 00:35:44,376
- Jeez. What's up their bums?
- 618
- 00:35:46,626 --> 00:35:48,376
- You're not going
- to state schools anymore.
- 619
- 00:35:48,459 --> 00:35:50,084
- I'm not going to a poofter school!
- 620
- 00:35:50,167 --> 00:35:52,501
- You're going to the King's School...
- 621
- 00:35:52,584 --> 00:35:54,001
- Can you believe that?
- 622
- 00:35:57,751 --> 00:35:59,584
- Oh! Crying out loud!
- 623
- 00:36:10,584 --> 00:36:11,751
- Save the whales!
- 624
- 00:36:11,834 --> 00:36:14,018
- - Oh, a bit late now, isn't it?
- - Go suck plankton, you lezzo!
- 625
- 00:36:14,042 --> 00:36:15,667
- - Hey! <i>'</i> OW!
- 626
- 00:36:15,751 --> 00:36:17,709
- Watch it, you little bastards!
- Get out of here!
- 627
- 00:36:17,792 --> 00:36:19,584
- Smells like Bec Marsh.
- 628
- 00:36:19,667 --> 00:36:22,376
- Oh, as much as we love
- our wayward friend here,
- 629
- 00:36:22,459 --> 00:36:24,376
- I think it's about time
- he found his flippers
- 630
- 00:36:24,459 --> 00:36:27,167
- and made his way back to the sea...
- 631
- 00:36:27,251 --> 00:36:29,667
- ..where he belongs.
- 632
- 00:36:29,751 --> 00:36:33,584
- I understand there's
- a big tide coming in.
- 633
- 00:36:37,001 --> 00:36:38,667
- What's happening?
- 634
- 00:36:38,751 --> 00:36:40,376
- Rigor mortis.
- 635
- 00:36:40,459 --> 00:36:42,584
- No, to our parents.
- 636
- 00:36:42,667 --> 00:36:44,667
- Why were they doing that to each other?
- 637
- 00:36:45,959 --> 00:36:47,667
- I don't know.
- 638
- 00:36:48,709 --> 00:36:50,376
- But you can't tell anybody.
- 639
- 00:36:50,459 --> 00:36:53,876
- Make me a promise. Nobody ever knows.
- 640
- 00:36:59,334 --> 00:37:01,501
- We just go to school like normal.
- 641
- 00:37:02,292 --> 00:37:04,792
- Nothing ever happened.
- It's just business as usual.
- 642
- 00:37:20,584 --> 00:37:22,459
- Me, me, me!
- 643
- 00:37:25,626 --> 00:37:28,626
- But, Mrs. Wilson,
- we can't even afford shoes!
- 644
- 00:37:28,709 --> 00:37:31,417
- Mum makes a walk to the beach
- in tissue boxes!
- 645
- 00:37:31,501 --> 00:37:34,209
- Alright, then. A Lamington...
- 646
- 00:37:34,292 --> 00:37:36,417
- ...and a Mint Pattie,
- 647
- 00:37:36,501 --> 00:37:38,727
- in case you have to walk to
- Africa to help the poor people.
- 648
- 00:37:38,751 --> 00:37:40,584
- Thanks, Mrs Wilson...
- 649
- 00:37:40,667 --> 00:37:43,167
- - ...sucker!
- - Hey! I heard that!
- 650
- 00:37:49,459 --> 00:37:51,126
- We should all be honoured
- 651
- 00:37:51,209 --> 00:37:53,709
- by the arrival of the great blue whale,
- 652
- 00:37:53,792 --> 00:37:56,959
- nature's largest living creation,
- 653
- 00:37:57,042 --> 00:38:00,626
- right here on Nobby's Beach.
- 654
- 00:38:00,709 --> 00:38:01,792
- Why?
- 655
- 00:38:03,584 --> 00:38:05,251
- Why would she kill herself?
- 656
- 00:38:05,334 --> 00:38:06,614
- That's a good question, Melissa.
- 657
- 00:38:07,126 --> 00:38:09,626
- Whales have been beaching
- themselves for centuries.
- 658
- 00:38:09,709 --> 00:38:12,167
- Has anybody got a clue as to why?
- 659
- 00:38:12,251 --> 00:38:13,917
- The Lebanese?
- 660
- 00:38:14,751 --> 00:38:17,334
- The truth is, nobody knows.
- 661
- 00:38:18,167 --> 00:38:20,417
- Oil tankers. Pollution.
- 662
- 00:38:20,501 --> 00:38:22,376
- Maybe she got lost.
- 663
- 00:38:23,042 --> 00:38:25,917
- Or maybe... she'd just had enough.
- 664
- 00:38:36,917 --> 00:38:38,935
- - I'm gonna play the murderer.
- - Then I want to be the victim.
- 665
- 00:38:38,959 --> 00:38:40,626
- - You already are.
- - OK, no.
- 666
- 00:38:40,709 --> 00:38:43,251
- Casting doesn't start till
- I speak to Mr. Logan, alright?
- 667
- 00:38:43,334 --> 00:38:45,959
- No. Come on. You said...
- 668
- 00:38:46,042 --> 00:38:47,126
- Oh, shit!
- 669
- 00:38:55,417 --> 00:38:57,167
- That looks nice.
- 670
- 00:38:57,251 --> 00:38:59,042
- Here. Have some of mine.
- 671
- 00:38:59,126 --> 00:39:01,042
- Got leftover fondue. Yummy.
- 672
- 00:39:01,792 --> 00:39:03,709
- No, thanks. I...
- 673
- 00:39:04,251 --> 00:39:06,042
- ...don't want to eat anymore.
- 674
- 00:39:08,251 --> 00:39:09,959
- I don't see the point.
- 675
- 00:39:14,459 --> 00:39:17,084
- - Can I have that?
- - But it's got sand on it.
- 676
- 00:39:17,167 --> 00:39:18,876
- They're called 'sand-wishes'.
- 677
- 00:39:21,209 --> 00:39:22,959
- Mr Logan!
- 678
- 00:39:23,042 --> 00:39:25,084
- Hello, hello, hello!
- 679
- 00:39:26,251 --> 00:39:28,042
- Wait here. I'll be right back.
- 680
- 00:39:30,917 --> 00:39:32,542
- Has everyone done their homework?
- 681
- 00:39:32,626 --> 00:39:34,251
- - Yes!
- - Mr Logan. Mr Logan.
- 682
- 00:39:34,334 --> 00:39:35,376
- I'm starting a new film
- 683
- 00:39:35,459 --> 00:39:37,917
- and I really need you
- to be the main character.
- 684
- 00:39:38,001 --> 00:39:40,584
- What fresh hell on yonder window breaks?
- 685
- 00:39:46,209 --> 00:39:49,251
- Not good enough, Mr Hall!
- I'm giving you a C!
- 686
- 00:39:49,334 --> 00:39:51,001
- That's OK, Mr Logan.
- 687
- 00:39:51,084 --> 00:39:53,834
- 'Cause I'm giving you a D - D for dead!
- 688
- 00:39:53,917 --> 00:39:57,167
- Yes!
- 689
- 00:40:04,751 --> 00:40:07,001
- Stop hurting her!
- 690
- 00:40:07,084 --> 00:40:09,292
- Stop! Stop! Stop it!
- 691
- 00:40:20,792 --> 00:40:23,626
- - Hey. Gerome!
- - What?
- 692
- 00:40:24,251 --> 00:40:27,001
- I was thinking - we cut out the
- shark and we work the whale in.
- 693
- 00:40:27,084 --> 00:40:29,042
- You know, make a new plot.
- What do you think?
- 694
- 00:40:30,292 --> 00:40:32,667
- Jeff. . mack off.
- 695
- 00:40:36,834 --> 00:40:38,501
- G'day, Peter Frampton.
- 696
- 00:40:38,584 --> 00:40:40,167
- Hey.
- 697
- 00:40:46,376 --> 00:40:49,459
- My best friend has just
- dumped me for my sister.
- 698
- 00:40:49,542 --> 00:40:52,334
- This is all going... tits up!
- 699
- 00:40:53,042 --> 00:40:55,876
- I was almost Miss Wallaroo!
- 700
- 00:40:55,959 --> 00:40:57,584
- My memory is
- 701
- 00:40:57,667 --> 00:40:59,751
- you were almost expelled
- from June Dally-Watkins.
- 702
- 00:40:59,834 --> 00:41:01,459
- This is all your fault.
- 703
- 00:41:01,542 --> 00:41:04,709
- Everything was going fine.
- Until you ruined it!
- 704
- 00:41:04,792 --> 00:41:07,792
- I ruined it? You know what
- ruined it? Middle-aged tits!
- 705
- 00:41:07,876 --> 00:41:10,001
- I've seen better crepes
- at Pancakes on the Rocks!
- 706
- 00:41:10,084 --> 00:41:12,084
- Hey! Get!
- 707
- 00:41:12,167 --> 00:41:14,352
- Encyclopedias are chock-a-block
- full of things you'll discover.
- 708
- 00:41:14,376 --> 00:41:16,001
- I mean, there's no end to it.
- 709
- 00:41:16,084 --> 00:41:17,709
- If you look up A, you'll find out
- 710
- 00:41:17,792 --> 00:41:21,626
- all sorts of fascinating facts
- about alcoholics...
- 711
- 00:41:21,709 --> 00:41:24,251
- And tell the kids
- to look up T for 'tragic'
- 712
- 00:41:24,334 --> 00:41:25,959
- or... D for 'dildo'.
- 713
- 00:41:26,042 --> 00:41:28,584
- I mean, who knows,
- one day you might find yourself
- 714
- 00:41:28,667 --> 00:41:31,167
- waking up next to a tragic
- dildo-loving alcoholic,
- 715
- 00:41:31,251 --> 00:41:33,417
- and THEN where will you be, huh?
- 716
- 00:41:33,501 --> 00:41:36,209
- Probably sleeping downstairs
- in the garage!
- 717
- 00:41:36,584 --> 00:41:38,167
- You fat cow!
- 718
- 00:41:38,251 --> 00:41:40,376
- Oh, you're just jealous!
- 719
- 00:41:40,459 --> 00:41:43,376
- - Of Keith Hall? Ha!
- - Take a Valium.
- 720
- 00:41:43,459 --> 00:41:45,751
- Now I'll get a discount Fuck and Wigwam!
- 721
- 00:41:45,834 --> 00:41:52,126
- Ha! Don't make me la-a-a-a-a-a-a-augh!
- 722
- 00:41:52,876 --> 00:41:54,917
- Melly, go play in the traffic.
- 723
- 00:42:29,542 --> 00:42:32,001
- You know, I don't blame Bob.
- I feel sorry for him.
- 724
- 00:42:33,792 --> 00:42:35,417
- He probably thought he was at the morgue
- 725
- 00:42:35,501 --> 00:42:37,310
- looking at you lying there
- like a stunned mullet.
- 726
- 00:42:37,334 --> 00:42:40,042
- My nickname at school? 'Tripod'!
- 727
- 00:42:40,126 --> 00:42:41,751
- - Yes! I'm a wanker!
- - Oh!
- 728
- 00:42:41,834 --> 00:42:44,167
- I've got the dirty magazines
- to prove it!
- 729
- 00:42:53,251 --> 00:42:55,792
- You loved it!
- 730
- 00:42:55,876 --> 00:42:57,501
- Love is overrated.
- 731
- 00:42:57,584 --> 00:42:59,224
- I had to pry him off you
- with a Tyre iron!
- 732
- 00:42:59,292 --> 00:43:01,052
- - Oh, Richard!
- - What are youse two on about?
- 733
- 00:43:01,084 --> 00:43:02,959
- - Shut up!
- - Quit your whining, will you?
- 734
- 00:43:03,042 --> 00:43:04,935
- Shut up in the back, or you'll
- get a knuckle sandwich!
- 735
- 00:43:04,959 --> 00:43:06,639
- Ooh, he's gonna give us
- a knuckle sandwich!
- 736
- 00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:08,292
- I'll slap you kids!
- 737
- 00:43:08,376 --> 00:43:10,959
- - Dad, look out! Ow!
- - Dad, you hit Melissa!
- 738
- 00:43:11,042 --> 00:43:13,126
- Rack off!
- 739
- 00:43:13,209 --> 00:43:14,834
- ..getting over Pretty Lady.
- 740
- 00:43:14,917 --> 00:43:16,584
- Pretty Lady falling behind.
- 741
- 00:43:16,667 --> 00:43:18,292
- Yes, Pretty Lady is falling behind...
- 742
- 00:43:23,917 --> 00:43:26,501
- Hurry, before that
- mongrel Labrador steals it!
- 743
- 00:43:30,834 --> 00:43:35,626
- Jo Jones is so washed up,
- the tide wouldn't take her out!
- 744
- 00:43:36,251 --> 00:43:38,084
- I'm gonna mow the lawn. Jeffrey!
- 745
- 00:43:38,167 --> 00:43:40,167
- You spend more time mowing that lawn
- 746
- 00:43:40,251 --> 00:43:42,376
- than you've ever spent mowing mine!
- 747
- 00:43:43,917 --> 00:43:45,917
- Do not let that animal in this room!
- 748
- 00:43:46,001 --> 00:43:48,959
- And take off your shoes! Christ!
- 749
- 00:43:49,042 --> 00:43:51,459
- I've got a splitting headache!
- 750
- 00:43:56,126 --> 00:43:57,326
- Mum, that wasn't your aspirin.
- 751
- 00:43:58,626 --> 00:43:59,959
- Those were your pearl earrings.
- 752
- 00:44:02,876 --> 00:44:04,501
- - Oh, Mum!
- - Jeff! Jeff!
- 753
- 00:44:06,334 --> 00:44:07,959
- - D-Dad...
- - What?
- 754
- 00:44:08,042 --> 00:44:09,667
- She swallowed her pearl earrings!
- 755
- 00:44:09,751 --> 00:44:12,709
- She swallowed her earrings?!
- Bee? Rebecca!
- 756
- 00:44:13,292 --> 00:44:15,042
- Your mother just swallowed herpeafl...
- 757
- 00:44:15,959 --> 00:44:16,959
- Dad!
- 758
- 00:44:18,626 --> 00:44:20,792
- Oh, g'day, Mr Marsh.
- How are they hanging?
- 759
- 00:44:23,501 --> 00:44:26,167
- What do you want us to do?
- 760
- 00:44:26,251 --> 00:44:29,001
- Get off the... the carpet!
- 761
- 00:44:29,084 --> 00:44:30,917
- Um... shouldn't we take her
- to the hospital?
- 762
- 00:44:31,001 --> 00:44:33,709
- Take her to the bathroom
- and get her a box of laxatives!
- 763
- 00:44:33,792 --> 00:44:36,792
- And, Rooster, you get the hell
- out of my house!
- 764
- 00:44:38,667 --> 00:44:41,334
- It's alright, Mrs M.
- I mean, you can poo 'em out.
- 765
- 00:44:41,417 --> 00:44:43,542
- Laxative...
- 766
- 00:44:43,626 --> 00:44:45,917
- Do you sometimes wonder
- if Jesus has passed you by?
- 767
- 00:44:55,001 --> 00:44:56,376
- Here.
- 768
- 00:44:56,834 --> 00:44:59,626
- I brought you something.
- It's a space food stick.
- 769
- 00:44:59,709 --> 00:45:02,584
- You know, made by NASA
- for the astronauts.
- 770
- 00:45:05,667 --> 00:45:07,292
- Please?
- 771
- 00:45:07,376 --> 00:45:09,876
- Just one bite? For me?
- 772
- 00:45:18,292 --> 00:45:20,084
- Keira! Ugh!
- 773
- 00:45:20,167 --> 00:45:21,792
- What now?!
- 774
- 00:45:21,876 --> 00:45:23,876
- I promise they're not bluebottle stings!
- 775
- 00:45:23,959 --> 00:45:25,584
- Right, toilets!
- 776
- 00:45:25,667 --> 00:45:28,292
- - No! No!
- - Urine counteracts!
- 777
- 00:45:28,376 --> 00:45:30,084
- She's gonna get pissed on again.
- 778
- 00:45:30,167 --> 00:45:32,751
- Please don't pee on me!
- 779
- 00:45:34,542 --> 00:45:36,584
- Bugger off! Filthy lezzers!
- 780
- 00:45:36,667 --> 00:45:38,542
- Toilets!
- 781
- 00:45:41,417 --> 00:45:43,709
- We're like the Robinson family.
- 782
- 00:45:43,792 --> 00:45:45,751
- We're lost in space.
- 783
- 00:45:46,834 --> 00:45:50,334
- Our flubbery friend seems
- to have taken quite a liking
- 784
- 00:45:50,417 --> 00:45:52,042
- to our beautiful beach.
- 785
- 00:45:52,709 --> 00:45:54,417
- Give him points.
- 786
- 00:45:54,501 --> 00:45:56,501
- He's not going out without a fight.
- 787
- 00:46:06,501 --> 00:46:08,185
- - I'm gonna go inside with her.
- - Yeah, I thought so.
- 788
- 00:46:08,209 --> 00:46:10,417
- Stop fighting! Everybody gets a go!
- 789
- 00:46:10,501 --> 00:46:13,209
- We're going to my room. Don't
- you dare tell the grown-ups!
- 790
- 00:46:13,292 --> 00:46:16,292
- What bloody grown-ups?!
- They're aren't any!
- 791
- 00:46:16,376 --> 00:46:18,542
- Now we can kill each other!
- 792
- 00:46:18,626 --> 00:46:20,709
- - Slut!
- - Takes one to know one!
- 793
- 00:46:31,042 --> 00:46:33,417
- - Gerome.
- - What?
- 794
- 00:46:33,501 --> 00:46:35,167
- Four thunders, seven ball-shooters,
- 795
- 00:46:35,251 --> 00:46:37,084
- four Roman candles, sulfur
- 796
- 00:46:37,167 --> 00:46:39,626
- and five cups of pool chlorine.
- 797
- 00:46:39,709 --> 00:46:41,751
- Chuck them in the fire all at once.
- 798
- 00:46:41,834 --> 00:46:44,209
- Jeff. Please.
- 799
- 00:46:44,292 --> 00:46:46,751
- Someone's gonna get burnt.
- 800
- 00:46:46,834 --> 00:46:50,209
- - Well... we'd better not.
- - Wuss!
- 801
- 00:46:52,834 --> 00:46:55,834
- I see fireworks. I see fireworks!
- 802
- 00:46:55,917 --> 00:46:57,959
- Scissors, paper, rock.
- 803
- 00:47:00,417 --> 00:47:02,126
- Next.
- 804
- 00:47:05,792 --> 00:47:09,042
- Don't! You're supposed to be
- letting them off one at a time!
- 805
- 00:47:09,126 --> 00:47:10,751
- Batter up!
- 806
- 00:47:10,834 --> 00:47:12,584
- - Bombs away!
- - You're scaring the kids!
- 807
- 00:47:12,667 --> 00:47:14,376
- Don't!
- 808
- 00:47:14,459 --> 00:47:17,584
- Stop! Please stop!
- 809
- 00:47:18,667 --> 00:47:20,167
- Arggh!
- 810
- 00:47:30,584 --> 00:47:32,626
- Before we say goodbye to Sandy,
- 811
- 00:47:32,709 --> 00:47:35,167
- let's talk about pets.
- 812
- 00:47:35,251 --> 00:47:36,917
- So, how's your practicing been going?
- 813
- 00:47:38,876 --> 00:47:42,292
- Kaye Hall believed pets opened
- the door to responsibility -
- 814
- 00:47:42,376 --> 00:47:44,584
- something kids could watch grow...
- 815
- 00:47:44,667 --> 00:47:47,417
- ...and eventually say farewell to.
- 816
- 00:47:47,501 --> 00:47:50,042
- For Kaye, burying a beloved pet
- was a way
- 817
- 00:47:50,126 --> 00:47:53,667
- to prepare a young mind for
- life's inevitable tragedies.
- 818
- 00:47:53,751 --> 00:47:55,376
- The problem was Doody wouldn't die.
- 819
- 00:47:55,459 --> 00:47:57,667
- Doody, din-din.
- 820
- 00:47:57,751 --> 00:47:59,959
- 20 years old and still going strong.
- 821
- 00:48:00,042 --> 00:48:02,792
- Kaye's kids had not experienced
- the death of a pet,
- 822
- 00:48:02,876 --> 00:48:04,542
- no matter how hard she tried.
- 823
- 00:48:09,042 --> 00:48:11,751
- You had to hand it to
- Rick Jones for one-upmanship.
- 824
- 00:48:11,834 --> 00:48:13,584
- Nobody could top the turtle.
- 825
- 00:48:13,667 --> 00:48:15,292
- All the way from the Galépagos.
- 826
- 00:48:15,376 --> 00:48:17,876
- Exotic Galépagos.
- 827
- 00:48:17,959 --> 00:48:21,167
- - I'm gonna name him HELP!
- - I'm gonna name him FIRE!
- 828
- 00:48:21,251 --> 00:48:22,876
- I'm gonna call you Tommy.
- 829
- 00:48:22,959 --> 00:48:25,334
- Tommy just wanted to go home,
- 830
- 00:48:25,417 --> 00:48:27,167
- and nothing was gonna stop him.
- 831
- 00:48:27,251 --> 00:48:28,959
- Quick, Tommy. Run home.
- 832
- 00:48:29,042 --> 00:48:31,251
- Swim back to Galépagos
- as fast as you can.
- 833
- 00:48:31,417 --> 00:48:34,209
- - Fat chance.
- - Not going anywhere, loser.
- 834
- 00:48:34,292 --> 00:48:36,626
- Please don't hurt him.
- 835
- 00:48:36,709 --> 00:48:38,584
- Stop! Stop! Please stop! Please!
- 836
- 00:48:38,667 --> 00:48:40,459
- If it makes you feel any better,
- 837
- 00:48:40,542 --> 00:48:42,167
- the boys became dentists.
- 838
- 00:48:42,251 --> 00:48:45,751
- Cal is still in jail
- and Liam is now called Lenore.
- 839
- 00:48:45,834 --> 00:48:47,459
- Suffer, little turtle!
- 840
- 00:48:47,542 --> 00:48:49,167
- Turtles can live to 100...
- 841
- 00:48:50,959 --> 00:48:53,792
- ...and poor Tommy was only
- eight years old.
- 842
- 00:48:58,167 --> 00:48:59,459
- The Hall twins didn't go out
- 843
- 00:48:59,542 --> 00:49:01,876
- and buy pets like the rest of us.
- 844
- 00:49:01,959 --> 00:49:03,626
- Pets magically found them.
- 845
- 00:49:06,126 --> 00:49:08,667
- - Meet Trouser Snake!
- - Has that boy got a big snake?
- 846
- 00:49:08,751 --> 00:49:11,584
- - Ask me when he's 17.
- - Shut up!
- 847
- 00:49:19,876 --> 00:49:22,143
- - Oh! Can I have one of those?
- - But you don't drink, love.
- 848
- 00:49:22,167 --> 00:49:23,792
- It's about time I started!
- 849
- 00:49:25,584 --> 00:49:28,042
- Those boys!
- 850
- 00:49:28,126 --> 00:49:30,667
- They just don't have a stop button!
- 851
- 00:49:30,751 --> 00:49:32,834
- Those boys are gonna be the death of me.
- 852
- 00:49:32,917 --> 00:49:34,251
- And here's the problem.
- 853
- 00:49:34,334 --> 00:49:37,334
- Like Keith said, his boys
- didn't have a stop button.
- 854
- 00:49:37,417 --> 00:49:40,709
- If it crawled, slithered,
- spat, bit or strangled,
- 855
- 00:49:40,792 --> 00:49:43,626
- it ended up in
- the Hall backyard of death.
- 856
- 00:49:44,917 --> 00:49:46,876
- Which brings us back to Sandy.
- 857
- 00:49:46,959 --> 00:49:48,584
- Please, please let it be a pony!
- 858
- 00:49:48,667 --> 00:49:50,667
- They say labs are
- the perfect dogs for kids...
- 859
- 00:49:50,751 --> 00:49:54,667
- It's a Kleenex Labrador puppy.
- 860
- 00:49:54,751 --> 00:49:56,667
- Oh!
- 861
- 00:49:56,751 --> 00:49:59,501
- Great. New carpet!
- 862
- 00:49:59,584 --> 00:50:01,834
- Now we'll have to get plastic.
- 863
- 00:50:01,917 --> 00:50:03,876
- Aw! So gentle!
- 864
- 00:50:04,542 --> 00:50:07,459
- Oh, baby Sandy was gentle, alright.
- 865
- 00:50:07,542 --> 00:50:10,667
- Gently eating her way through
- every barbecue in Australia.
- 866
- 00:50:10,751 --> 00:50:13,292
- Bloody umbrellas! Sandy!
- 867
- 00:50:15,459 --> 00:50:18,626
- Ooh! Get off! Off!
- Get off the table! Disgusting!
- 868
- 00:50:19,459 --> 00:50:22,709
- The problem was Sandy had
- no stop button either,
- 869
- 00:50:22,792 --> 00:50:25,084
- and whenever she was left
- alone, she'd help herself
- 870
- 00:50:25,167 --> 00:50:28,167
- to all the other pet food
- up for grabs in Wyong Place.
- 871
- 00:50:28,251 --> 00:50:30,042
- Keith Hall put it perfectly -
- 872
- 00:50:30,126 --> 00:50:32,917
- one day, that dog was gonna explode.
- 873
- 00:50:33,001 --> 00:50:34,834
- <i>~ ~</i>
- 874
- 00:50:45,667 --> 00:50:47,542
- I, um...
- 875
- 00:50:47,626 --> 00:50:49,542
- ...l want to thank Sandy...
- 876
- 00:50:49,626 --> 00:50:51,876
- ...for bringing us together and...
- 877
- 00:50:51,959 --> 00:50:54,542
- ...putting all our differences
- behind us.
- 878
- 00:50:56,292 --> 00:50:57,959
- We're really sorry, Uncle Bob.
- 879
- 00:50:58,042 --> 00:50:59,251
- Yeah.
- 880
- 00:51:00,751 --> 00:51:02,001
- But sadly,
- 881
- 00:51:02,917 --> 00:51:05,209
- this is where we say goodbye
- 882
- 00:51:05,292 --> 00:51:07,042
- to our loyal friend.
- 883
- 00:51:09,167 --> 00:51:11,001
- Come on, old girl.
- 884
- 00:51:13,459 --> 00:51:15,334
- - Rick?
- - Look out!
- 885
- 00:51:15,417 --> 00:51:18,001
- Oh, God, jeez! Thanks, Rick.
- 886
- 00:51:18,084 --> 00:51:19,709
- Thanks, Keith.
- 887
- 00:51:19,792 --> 00:51:21,417
- UP! Come on!
- 888
- 00:51:21,501 --> 00:51:24,709
- And go, go, go, go, 90,90,go, go, go.
- 889
- 00:51:24,792 --> 00:51:27,251
- Mum. Your earrings smell like shit.
- 890
- 00:51:34,209 --> 00:51:36,209
- Oh, sausages in the grave.
- 891
- 00:51:36,834 --> 00:51:38,751
- - Good name for an album, huh?
- - Shut up, Keith!
- 892
- 00:51:44,501 --> 00:51:46,167
- Should have been you.
- 893
- 00:51:46,251 --> 00:51:47,959
- Your mother and I have had a talk.
- 894
- 00:51:48,042 --> 00:51:50,626
- We're selling your grandma's
- jewelry and her teeth.
- 895
- 00:51:50,709 --> 00:51:52,509
- You're all going to
- Catholic boarding schools.
- 896
- 00:51:52,542 --> 00:51:54,292
- This is bullcrap!
- 897
- 00:51:54,376 --> 00:51:56,917
- No. No. I don't want to hear it.
- 898
- 00:51:57,001 --> 00:51:59,209
- The priests will have
- their way with you!
- 899
- 00:52:06,626 --> 00:52:09,542
- Pick those toys up.
- 900
- 00:52:17,167 --> 00:52:19,084
- No! No!
- 901
- 00:52:19,167 --> 00:52:20,459
- Fine.
- 902
- 00:52:22,126 --> 00:52:23,751
- Please, Mummy!
- 903
- 00:52:26,917 --> 00:52:27,917
- Please don't.
- 904
- 00:52:29,584 --> 00:52:31,417
- No. Please not Humphrey!
- 905
- 00:52:31,501 --> 00:52:33,167
- No!
- 906
- 00:52:41,751 --> 00:52:45,126
- This is it. I think she's
- finally on her way home.
- 907
- 00:52:45,209 --> 00:52:46,834
- And one!
- 908
- 00:52:46,917 --> 00:52:48,542
- Two!
- 909
- 00:52:48,626 --> 00:52:50,251
- Three!
- 910
- 00:52:51,667 --> 00:52:54,876
- Jesus bloody Christ! The beach is empty.
- 911
- 00:52:54,959 --> 00:52:58,709
- The streets. Colonel Sanders
- couldn't get arrested.
- 912
- 00:52:58,792 --> 00:53:01,376
- If we don't get rid of
- blubber-guts here, mate,
- 913
- 00:53:01,459 --> 00:53:04,876
- I can tell you,
- we're all in the deep-fry!
- 914
- 00:53:07,251 --> 00:53:10,626
- She's stuck here. Like us.
- 915
- 00:53:12,959 --> 00:53:15,334
- - We have to get out of here.
- - How?
- 916
- 00:53:15,417 --> 00:53:17,126
- Would you like a ride, little girl?
- 917
- 00:53:24,959 --> 00:53:26,251
- Strangers.
- 918
- 00:53:27,542 --> 00:53:29,167
- They may smile...
- 919
- 00:53:29,251 --> 00:53:30,334
- Ooh!
- 920
- 00:53:31,084 --> 00:53:33,542
- ...they may look ordinary,
- 921
- 00:53:33,626 --> 00:53:35,709
- but you cannot trust them.
- 922
- 00:53:35,792 --> 00:53:37,584
- I'm not going. I don't trust them.
- 923
- 00:53:37,667 --> 00:53:39,834
- You and your Shitty Safari.
- 924
- 00:53:39,917 --> 00:53:41,709
- Can't you see what's happening here?
- 925
- 00:53:41,792 --> 00:53:44,417
- Your daughter was up there
- with that boy, giving him a...
- 926
- 00:53:45,667 --> 00:53:47,292
- Blow job, Bob!
- 927
- 00:53:47,376 --> 00:53:49,542
- Like the ones I used to
- give you last century.
- 928
- 00:53:49,626 --> 00:53:52,001
- Alright, enough. I've had it up to here.
- 929
- 00:53:52,084 --> 00:53:53,959
- Just say something
- for once in your life.
- 930
- 00:53:54,042 --> 00:53:55,667
- I'm not going.
- 931
- 00:53:56,709 --> 00:53:58,042
- Will you get that bloody
- 932
- 00:53:58,126 --> 00:53:59,917
- formaldehyde-soaked arse out of bed?
- 933
- 00:54:00,001 --> 00:54:01,626
- You're bloody well going,
- 934
- 00:54:01,709 --> 00:54:04,876
- and bloody well gonna have
- a good time if it kills me!
- 935
- 00:54:04,959 --> 00:54:08,209
- And the god of thunder,
- he says, "I'm Thor!"
- 936
- 00:54:08,292 --> 00:54:09,917
- And she says, "YOU'RE thore?!
- 937
- 00:54:10,001 --> 00:54:11,917
- "L'm tho thore, I can hardly pith!"
- 938
- 00:54:13,709 --> 00:54:15,417
- What have you got here, Rick?
- 939
- 00:54:15,501 --> 00:54:17,685
- You've got some Roy Orbison.
- You've got some Frank Sinatra.
- 940
- 00:54:17,709 --> 00:54:19,376
- We've got loads of good stuff, mate.
- 941
- 00:54:19,459 --> 00:54:21,751
- We've got Donna Summer, Telly Savalas,
- 942
- 00:54:21,834 --> 00:54:23,459
- Swingin' Safari...
- 943
- 00:54:30,042 --> 00:54:31,709
- It's called the Betamax.
- 944
- 00:54:31,792 --> 00:54:34,542
- The home video revolution.
- 945
- 00:54:34,626 --> 00:54:36,376
- You can record TV.
- 946
- 00:54:36,459 --> 00:54:38,459
- - Wow.
- - Wow.
- 947
- 00:54:49,167 --> 00:54:50,792
- I'm going over to Rooster's.
- 948
- 00:54:50,876 --> 00:54:53,084
- But don't you dare tell Mum.
- 949
- 00:54:56,084 --> 00:54:57,167
- Liam, I'm going first!
- 950
- 00:54:57,251 --> 00:54:58,917
- I don't wanna be sloppy seconds!
- 951
- 00:54:59,001 --> 00:55:00,167
- You always go first!
- 952
- 00:55:00,292 --> 00:55:02,917
- Hey, Gerome. For old times' sake?
- 953
- 00:55:06,917 --> 00:55:07,917
- Mate, come on.
- 954
- 00:55:08,001 --> 00:55:09,834
- One last stunt? Just you and me?
- 955
- 00:55:23,292 --> 00:55:26,376
- Congrats, team. You've all been
- made honorary Death Cheaters.
- 956
- 00:55:26,459 --> 00:55:29,042
- Yes! Shazam!
- 957
- 00:55:30,834 --> 00:55:33,376
- So, I went ballistic and said,
- "Mr. Wong, Mr. Wong..."
- 958
- 00:55:33,459 --> 00:55:35,584
- "I forgot all my traveler's cheques!"
- 959
- 00:55:38,251 --> 00:55:39,917
- Yeah, we've seen the ad, Keith.
- 960
- 00:55:40,001 --> 00:55:42,376
- Yeah, I'm just saying, it's a good one.
- 961
- 00:55:42,459 --> 00:55:44,292
- Pass the Coon, please.
- 962
- 00:55:48,251 --> 00:55:49,542
- Ah, here's one.
- 963
- 00:55:49,959 --> 00:55:52,876
- Germaine Greer walks into a bar
- and the barman says...
- 964
- 00:55:52,959 --> 00:55:54,084
- I'm gonna what?!
- 965
- 00:55:54,167 --> 00:55:55,834
- Breathe underwater, like Aquaboy.
- 966
- 00:55:55,917 --> 00:55:57,876
- Liz, get the funnel-webs
- out of the pool.
- 967
- 00:55:57,959 --> 00:56:00,917
- I've rewired the vacuum cleaner
- so that it blows in reverse.
- 968
- 00:56:01,001 --> 00:56:02,417
- See?
- 969
- 00:56:06,459 --> 00:56:08,084
- We drop the rocks into the pool.
- 970
- 00:56:08,167 --> 00:56:09,876
- It drags Andrew to the bottom.
- 971
- 00:56:09,959 --> 00:56:12,751
- As long as he keeps the hose
- in his mouth, he can breathe.
- 972
- 00:56:12,834 --> 00:56:14,584
- - Then what?
- - Well, we film it.
- 973
- 00:56:14,667 --> 00:56:17,209
- - This is bullcrap!
- - I'm not doing it!
- 974
- 00:56:17,292 --> 00:56:19,334
- Untie me! Untie me, alright?!
- 975
- 00:56:19,417 --> 00:56:21,167
- But this is a Death Cheater first.
- 976
- 00:56:21,251 --> 00:56:22,876
- Not without Gerome, it isn't!
- 977
- 00:56:22,959 --> 00:56:25,876
- - This sucks!
- - It mega sucks!
- 978
- 00:56:25,959 --> 00:56:27,417
- I'm too old for this shit.
- 979
- 00:56:31,042 --> 00:56:33,751
- When did Jeff Marsh wake up
- such a loser?
- 980
- 00:56:40,709 --> 00:56:42,459
- Did my homework and made a choice, mate.
- 981
- 00:56:42,542 --> 00:56:44,751
- That other system, that VHS nonsense -
- 982
- 00:56:44,834 --> 00:56:46,709
- never gonna take off.
- 983
- 00:56:46,792 --> 00:56:48,417
- Flush.
- 984
- 00:56:48,501 --> 00:56:51,334
- - What was that?
- - Flush.
- 985
- 00:56:51,417 --> 00:56:54,126
- Oh. Menopause so soon?
- 986
- 00:56:54,209 --> 00:56:55,917
- Excuse me?
- 987
- 00:56:56,001 --> 00:56:59,042
- I'm just talking about my niece.
- 988
- 00:56:59,126 --> 00:57:00,709
- Minnie Pause.
- 989
- 00:57:00,876 --> 00:57:02,626
- Looks like she might be coming to stay
- 990
- 00:57:02,709 --> 00:57:04,334
- a little earlier than expected.
- 991
- 00:57:06,167 --> 00:57:07,459
- I said "flush".
- 992
- 00:57:09,084 --> 00:57:11,209
- I could have said "floozy",
- but I didn't.
- 993
- 00:57:11,292 --> 00:57:12,709
- Are you calling my wife a floozy?
- 994
- 00:57:13,042 --> 00:57:15,626
- I'm not calling her anything.
- I'm just... stating a fact.
- 995
- 00:57:16,251 --> 00:57:17,417
- You are a...
- 996
- 00:57:18,792 --> 00:57:20,126
- ...a strumpet!
- 997
- 00:57:20,209 --> 00:57:22,292
- You do not call my wife a strumpet!
- 998
- 00:57:22,376 --> 00:57:23,709
- Sorry, I was gonna say "crumpet",
- 999
- 00:57:23,834 --> 00:57:25,001
- but it came out "strumpet".
- 1000
- 00:57:25,084 --> 00:57:27,042
- Big words, pussy-balls.
- 1001
- 00:57:27,126 --> 00:57:28,751
- Says the town bike.
- 1002
- 00:57:28,834 --> 00:57:30,876
- At least I don't need pills
- to get mine up.
- 1003
- 00:57:30,959 --> 00:57:33,584
- - Now, what are we playing?
- - Poker.
- 1004
- 00:57:33,667 --> 00:57:34,751
- Everybody else has.
- 1005
- 00:57:35,501 --> 00:57:37,376
- HOW dare you?!
- 1006
- 00:57:37,459 --> 00:57:40,084
- - You bloody zip it, Rick!
- - You bloody zip it, mate!
- 1007
- 00:57:40,167 --> 00:57:41,792
- - Cock!
- - Bush pig!
- 1008
- 00:57:41,876 --> 00:57:43,036
- - Shut up, hussy!
- - Alcoholic!
- 1009
- 00:57:43,084 --> 00:57:45,167
- - Bottle blonde!
- - Cock tease!
- 1010
- 00:57:45,292 --> 00:57:46,917
- - Drug addict!
- - Needle dick!
- 1011
- 00:57:47,001 --> 00:57:48,626
- - Skank!
- - Trog!
- 1012
- 00:57:48,709 --> 00:57:49,751
- Slut!
- 1013
- 00:57:49,834 --> 00:57:51,376
- Hardly even touched the sides.
- 1014
- 00:57:51,459 --> 00:57:52,727
- Well, that's not surprising, is it?
- 1015
- 00:57:52,751 --> 00:57:55,417
- You'd root a bloody barber's
- chair if it had enough hair!
- 1016
- 00:57:55,501 --> 00:57:58,501
- How dare you?!
- 1017
- 00:57:58,584 --> 00:58:01,126
- - Kids, out!
- - We can trump that. We're out!
- 1018
- 00:58:03,834 --> 00:58:05,459
- Suck on this!
- 1019
- 00:58:07,834 --> 00:58:10,292
- <i>~</i> Oh! <i>~</i> Oh!
- 1020
- 00:58:14,334 --> 00:58:15,876
- Yep. Couldn't agree more.
- 1021
- 00:58:16,501 --> 00:58:18,209
- Oh. Shit.
- 1022
- 00:58:26,792 --> 00:58:28,584
- Oh, g'day, Mrs Marsh.
- 1023
- 00:58:28,667 --> 00:58:31,251
- I see you got your pearl earrings back.
- 1024
- 00:58:33,292 --> 00:58:34,501
- Rebecca!
- 1025
- 00:58:35,001 --> 00:58:36,084
- Oh!
- 1026
- 00:58:36,167 --> 00:58:37,917
- Get out of here, you filthy mongrels!
- 1027
- 00:58:38,001 --> 00:58:39,834
- Hey, Rooster! I bloody warned you!
- 1028
- 00:58:39,917 --> 00:58:41,584
- Dog! I know where your f...
- 1029
- 00:58:41,667 --> 00:58:43,427
- Your father's getting
- a phone call right now!
- 1030
- 00:58:43,459 --> 00:58:45,126
- He'll hear about this!
- 1031
- 00:58:45,209 --> 00:58:47,459
- Gerome! I saw you too, mate!
- 1032
- 00:58:47,542 --> 00:58:49,334
- What the hell do you think
- you're doing?!
- 1033
- 00:58:50,376 --> 00:58:51,751
- Crying out loud!
- 1034
- 00:58:58,417 --> 00:58:59,626
- Jeff?
- 1035
- 00:59:01,584 --> 00:59:02,876
- Jeff?
- 1036
- 00:59:32,334 --> 00:59:34,917
- 240 volts by the bleedin' pool!
- 1037
- 00:59:40,001 --> 00:59:43,251
- Well, may we say "God save the Queen"...
- 1038
- 00:59:45,042 --> 00:59:48,459
- ...because nothing will save
- the Governor-General!
- 1039
- 01:01:32,667 --> 01:01:35,584
- - Keep those legs together!
- - Your husband likes curves!
- 1040
- 01:01:35,667 --> 01:01:38,792
- Needle dick for years, Gale. And, you...
- 1041
- 01:01:38,876 --> 01:01:41,459
- You couldn't fit any more balls
- in your pants either!
- 1042
- 01:01:42,917 --> 01:01:44,542
- Keira, what's that on your chest?
- 1043
- 01:01:44,626 --> 01:01:47,709
- They're not bluebottle stings!
- Really, they're not!
- 1044
- 01:01:47,792 --> 01:01:49,667
- Oh, yes, they are!
- 1045
- 01:01:51,917 --> 01:01:53,792
- No, no!
- 1046
- 01:01:53,876 --> 01:01:55,709
- Stop her!
- 1047
- 01:01:55,792 --> 01:01:57,542
- - Come to Aunty Gale.
- - No! Get off me!
- 1048
- 01:01:57,626 --> 01:01:59,001
- Don't you dare!
- 1049
- 01:01:59,084 --> 01:02:01,042
- But, Kaye!
- 1050
- 01:02:01,126 --> 01:02:02,751
- Urine counteracts.
- 1051
- 01:02:25,501 --> 01:02:27,209
- Be silent. Be quiet.
- 1052
- 01:02:27,292 --> 01:02:29,709
- Be silent! BE SILENT! BE SILENT!
- 1053
- 01:02:29,792 --> 01:02:31,417
- She pissed on my daughter!
- 1054
- 01:02:31,501 --> 01:02:33,792
- Oh, you piss on her twice a weekend!
- 1055
- 01:02:33,876 --> 01:02:36,834
- Bullshit. Bullshit!
- 1056
- 01:02:36,917 --> 01:02:38,917
- Mr. Hall, do you want
- to press any charges?
- 1057
- 01:02:39,001 --> 01:02:40,626
- No.
- 1058
- 01:02:40,709 --> 01:02:42,334
- But who do I have to fuck around here
- 1059
- 01:02:42,417 --> 01:02:44,042
- to get a bloody restraining order?!
- 1060
- 01:02:44,126 --> 01:02:45,751
- I've got homework to do.
- 1061
- 01:02:45,834 --> 01:02:47,393
- I can give you a hand with
- your homework if you like.
- 1062
- 01:02:47,417 --> 01:02:50,167
- Hey, hey, hey! Enough!
- 1063
- 01:03:05,584 --> 01:03:07,417
- We're moving to Adelaide!
- 1064
- 01:03:07,501 --> 01:03:09,417
- Huh! Don't be preposterous!
- 1065
- 01:03:09,501 --> 01:03:11,959
- - Have you got a better idea?
- - Yes, I do.
- 1066
- 01:03:12,042 --> 01:03:14,084
- Kahlua and milk.
- 1067
- 01:03:20,209 --> 01:03:21,917
- Avon calling.
- 1068
- 01:03:29,667 --> 01:03:31,126
- - A' Bob! 'Qgh! QW!
- 1069
- 01:03:31,209 --> 01:03:32,626
- Oh, Jesus!
- 1070
- 01:03:34,251 --> 01:03:35,876
- I'm calling Rick.
- 1071
- 01:03:36,751 --> 01:03:38,167
- Oh, no, you're not.
- 1072
- 01:03:38,834 --> 01:03:39,917
- Watch me.
- 1073
- 01:03:41,459 --> 01:03:43,126
- Give me the phone. Give me the phone.
- 1074
- 01:03:43,209 --> 01:03:44,876
- - No. No. No, no...
- - Give me the phone.
- 1075
- 01:03:44,959 --> 01:03:47,039
- - Bob, give me the phone.
- - I'm c... l'm calling him!
- 1076
- 01:03:47,876 --> 01:03:50,876
- Oh, you fool!
- 1077
- 01:03:50,959 --> 01:03:52,792
- You fool!
- 1078
- 01:03:59,626 --> 01:04:01,251
- Swiss finishing school.
- 1079
- 01:04:01,334 --> 01:04:03,501
- Advanced etiquette, foreign languages...
- 1080
- 01:04:05,084 --> 01:04:07,042
- Lord knows she doesn't speak English.
- 1081
- 01:04:07,126 --> 01:04:09,584
- - Rick Jones.
- - We need a truce.
- 1082
- 01:04:09,751 --> 01:04:11,292
- No. I do not need a goose.
- 1083
- 01:04:11,459 --> 01:04:13,001
- - No, a truce.
- - What?
- 1084
- 01:04:13,084 --> 01:04:14,542
- A truce! Not a goose. A truce.
- 1085
- 01:04:14,876 --> 01:04:16,185
- Who is this? I can't understand you.
- 1086
- 01:04:16,209 --> 01:04:17,209
- Rick...!
- 1087
- 01:04:19,876 --> 01:04:23,501
- The phone is full of
- your bloody make-up!
- 1088
- 01:04:25,084 --> 01:04:26,751
- Darling, it's for you.
- 1089
- 01:04:26,834 --> 01:04:29,417
- Hey, Melly!
- 1090
- 01:04:29,501 --> 01:04:32,292
- You're looking a bit crook.
- I brought you a Polly Waffle.
- 1091
- 01:04:34,167 --> 01:04:35,376
- Where are you going?
- 1092
- 01:04:36,417 --> 01:04:38,584
- I'm going to the ends of the earth.
- 1093
- 01:04:38,667 --> 01:04:41,709
- I'm running away to a place
- where no-one will ever find me.
- 1094
- 01:04:43,876 --> 01:04:45,084
- Melbourne.
- 1095
- 01:04:46,042 --> 01:04:49,459
- I'll start eating again
- if you come with me.
- 1096
- 01:04:51,167 --> 01:04:53,417
- I've got enough money to get us there.
- 1097
- 01:04:53,501 --> 01:04:56,001
- We can change our names,
- we can become new people,
- 1098
- 01:04:56,084 --> 01:04:58,126
- and we'll never have to see
- our parents again.
- 1099
- 01:04:59,917 --> 01:05:01,542
- Will you come with me?
- 1100
- 01:05:03,709 --> 01:05:04,834
- Yes.
- 1101
- 01:05:05,626 --> 01:05:07,417
- You mean it?
- 1102
- 01:05:07,501 --> 01:05:08,584
- Yeah, I mean it.
- 1103
- 01:05:11,709 --> 01:05:13,334
- We have just one last chore to do
- 1104
- 01:05:13,417 --> 01:05:15,292
- before we get out of this hellhole.
- 1105
- 01:05:23,126 --> 01:05:25,626
- How did it come to this?
- 1106
- 01:05:25,709 --> 01:05:29,084
- Well, mate, it started
- with a pile of keys and a vase.
- 1107
- 01:05:30,167 --> 01:05:33,042
- Maybe if you had just taken one
- for the team and boned Kaye...
- 1108
- 01:05:33,126 --> 01:05:34,917
- - Oh, right!
- - ..everything would be OK.
- 1109
- 01:05:35,001 --> 01:05:36,292
- Alright, already!
- 1110
- 01:05:37,209 --> 01:05:39,334
- But we've got to fix it.
- 1111
- 01:05:39,417 --> 01:05:42,834
- Our bloody women
- whipped this whole mess up,
- 1112
- 01:05:42,917 --> 01:05:45,126
- so it's up to us to sort it out.
- 1113
- 01:05:47,417 --> 01:05:49,167
- Like men.
- 1114
- 01:06:06,584 --> 01:06:09,751
- Go home, Tommy. You hear me?
- As fast as you can.
- 1115
- 01:06:11,751 --> 01:06:13,792
- There you go. You're free.
- 1116
- 01:06:21,834 --> 01:06:23,459
- Tommy's going to paradise.
- 1117
- 01:06:24,584 --> 01:06:25,876
- And so are we.
- 1118
- 01:06:33,209 --> 01:06:34,959
- So, if we make the first bus to Central,
- 1119
- 01:06:35,042 --> 01:06:37,084
- we can make the 10 o'clock
- train to Canberra.
- 1120
- 01:06:37,167 --> 01:06:39,584
- - Have you got any dosh?
- - 57 bucks Grandpa gave me
- 1121
- 01:06:39,667 --> 01:06:41,792
- just before he ate
- all the potpourri and died.
- 1122
- 01:06:41,876 --> 01:06:43,834
- But I know where Mum stashes
- her tennis kitty.
- 1123
- 01:06:43,917 --> 01:06:46,251
- That's alright. We'll get jobs.
- 1124
- 01:06:46,334 --> 01:06:48,917
- I'm ready. I packed. Last Easter.
- 1125
- 01:06:50,376 --> 01:06:52,209
- You're not gonna let me down,
- are you, Jeff?
- 1126
- 01:06:53,584 --> 01:06:55,876
- No. Never.
- 1127
- 01:07:05,876 --> 01:07:08,584
- Jeffrey!
- 1128
- 01:07:08,667 --> 01:07:11,167
- Oh, Christ! Not another one!
- 1129
- 01:07:12,209 --> 01:07:14,001
- Get over here, you trollop!
- 1130
- 01:07:14,084 --> 01:07:15,751
- Bedroom! Now!
- 1131
- 01:07:15,834 --> 01:07:19,459
- - Bedroom? What...?
- - Separately. Come here!
- 1132
- 01:07:19,542 --> 01:07:22,376
- Enough! You crossed the line this time.
- 1133
- 01:07:22,459 --> 01:07:25,001
- Let's kill him.
- 1134
- 01:07:30,167 --> 01:07:31,209
- He kissed a girl!
- 1135
- 01:07:32,209 --> 01:07:33,292
- Thank God!
- 1136
- 01:07:33,376 --> 01:07:36,417
- There I was thinking he was a bit... gay.
- 1137
- 01:07:36,501 --> 01:07:38,834
- She's 14 years old!
- 1138
- 01:07:38,917 --> 01:07:41,834
- Does she even know which end
- to put a tampon in?
- 1139
- 01:07:42,501 --> 01:07:43,792
- Well, she kissed a boy.
- 1140
- 01:07:43,876 --> 01:07:46,042
- There I was thinking she was a lezzo.
- 1141
- 01:07:46,126 --> 01:07:48,143
- This is what happens when you
- let them watch Sonny & Cher!
- 1142
- 01:07:48,167 --> 01:07:49,542
- Oh, darling!
- 1143
- 01:07:49,626 --> 01:07:51,066
- Out in the street like a prostitute!
- 1144
- 01:07:51,126 --> 01:07:52,251
- Everybody looking!
- 1145
- 01:07:52,334 --> 01:07:53,709
- Richard, it's just sex.
- 1146
- 01:07:53,792 --> 01:07:55,584
- Finally, a reason for birth control!
- 1147
- 01:08:00,667 --> 01:08:02,251
- They've taken my money and my bankbook
- 1148
- 01:08:02,334 --> 01:08:04,042
- and they're talking about moving.
- 1149
- 01:08:04,126 --> 01:08:05,751
- You? Over.
- 1150
- 01:08:05,834 --> 01:08:06,959
- Dad's locked me in my room
- 1151
- 01:08:07,042 --> 01:08:10,792
- and given Liam permission
- to kill me if I try to escape.
- 1152
- 01:08:10,876 --> 01:08:12,792
- I'm sorry, Jeff. Over.
- 1153
- 01:08:13,042 --> 01:08:14,584
- Me too.
- 1154
- 01:08:14,667 --> 01:08:16,292
- Over.
- 1155
- 01:08:16,376 --> 01:08:19,167
- Is it over? Over.
- 1156
- 01:08:21,542 --> 01:08:24,292
- It's over. Over.
- 1157
- 01:08:25,292 --> 01:08:27,501
- - Over and out.
- - Over and out.
- 1158
- 01:08:37,459 --> 01:08:39,251
- So? My parents were tough.
- 1159
- 01:08:39,334 --> 01:08:41,792
- I was chained to a drainpipe
- for stealing a bike,
- 1160
- 01:08:41,876 --> 01:08:43,584
- and look how I turned out.
- 1161
- 01:08:43,667 --> 01:08:46,376
- President of the Lions Club
- three years running!
- 1162
- 01:08:46,459 --> 01:08:48,393
- Oh, for God's sake, will you
- get your feet off the carpet?!
- 1163
- 01:08:48,417 --> 01:08:50,084
- Oh, cripes!
- 1164
- 01:08:50,167 --> 01:08:53,417
- Oh, for cryin' out loud!
- 1165
- 01:08:55,982 --> 01:08:59,149
- - What?!
- - Hi. We're a p...
- 1166
- 01:08:59,584 --> 01:09:00,792
- Mr Marsh?
- 1167
- 01:09:01,292 --> 01:09:02,584
- Nigel.
- 1168
- 01:09:02,667 --> 01:09:05,376
- Give Kids a Chance? We're a charity.
- 1169
- 01:09:10,459 --> 01:09:12,917
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- 1170
- 01:09:13,001 --> 01:09:15,417
- Arggh! Oh!
- 1171
- 01:09:28,917 --> 01:09:31,542
- Arggh!
- 1172
- 01:09:35,084 --> 01:09:36,751
- No!
- 1173
- 01:10:05,792 --> 01:10:07,459
- Yeah, sure.
- 1174
- 01:10:07,542 --> 01:10:09,334
- - CE-'day, mate.
- - Hey, mate.
- 1175
- 01:10:11,042 --> 01:10:13,376
- - How's that?
- - Thanks, Mr. Marsh.
- 1176
- 01:10:13,977 --> 01:10:15,167
- Hey, it's good to see you again.
- 1177
- 01:10:15,251 --> 01:10:16,876
- - Yeah.
- - Bye.
- 1178
- 01:10:16,959 --> 01:10:19,751
- Oh, and thanks for giving kids
- a second chance.
- 1179
- 01:10:27,417 --> 01:10:29,626
- Oh! Yeah. Sounds about right.
- 1180
- 01:10:29,709 --> 01:10:31,376
- I AM a good example.
- 1181
- 01:10:37,001 --> 01:10:39,292
- Can't get 'em to listen to me.
- I could just...
- 1182
- 01:10:39,376 --> 01:10:41,667
- Can you just... just stop?!
- 1183
- 01:10:43,917 --> 01:10:45,042
- So...
- 1184
- 01:10:45,959 --> 01:10:47,167
- ...why are we here?
- 1185
- 01:10:47,292 --> 01:10:49,084
- You know, what's our purpose?
- 1186
- 01:10:49,167 --> 01:10:51,084
- Eat, shit and die.
- 1187
- 01:10:51,167 --> 01:10:56,334
- Yeah, and along the way, we
- bring new life into the world.
- 1188
- 01:10:56,417 --> 01:10:58,334
- And we set a good example.
- 1189
- 01:10:58,417 --> 01:11:00,292
- At last count, I reckon we're all doing
- 1190
- 01:11:00,376 --> 01:11:02,001
- a pretty crap job of it.
- 1191
- 01:11:02,084 --> 01:11:06,084
- - Speak for yourself, Bob.
- - I am, Gale. I am.
- 1192
- 01:11:06,167 --> 01:11:08,417
- You know, Swingin' bloody Safari?
- 1193
- 01:11:08,501 --> 01:11:11,417
- Christ! What were we thinking?
- 1194
- 01:11:11,501 --> 01:11:13,834
- We're chasing our tails and
- our bloody kids can smell it.
- 1195
- 01:11:13,917 --> 01:11:15,042
- They're all out of control
- 1196
- 01:11:15,126 --> 01:11:16,643
- and it's up to us
- to pull them back into line.
- 1197
- 01:11:16,667 --> 01:11:17,667
- Exactly. Exactly...
- 1198
- 01:11:20,126 --> 01:11:23,417
- Whatever you've done, you've
- stuffed it up for everyone.
- 1199
- 01:11:23,501 --> 01:11:25,251
- You're dead meat.
- 1200
- 01:11:26,584 --> 01:11:28,459
- Shut up!
- 1201
- 01:11:29,501 --> 01:11:31,334
- Shut up!
- 1202
- 01:11:31,417 --> 01:11:33,126
- Shut up!
- 1203
- 01:11:35,001 --> 01:11:37,084
- Just listen to yourselves!
- 1204
- 01:11:38,292 --> 01:11:39,917
- All raised shit-scared,
- 1205
- 01:11:40,001 --> 01:11:42,584
- and, gee, that turned out well
- for everyone, didn't it?
- 1206
- 01:11:44,084 --> 01:11:46,042
- The kids shouldn't be punished.
- 1207
- 01:11:47,876 --> 01:11:49,667
- They should be rewarded.
- 1208
- 01:11:49,751 --> 01:11:51,459
- Oh, Kaye!
- 1209
- 01:11:53,084 --> 01:11:54,709
- For Wallaroo parents,
- 1210
- 01:11:54,792 --> 01:11:56,751
- it's been unusu-whale, factu-whale,
- 1211
- 01:11:56,834 --> 01:11:59,334
- but now, unsustaina-whale.
- 1212
- 01:12:00,501 --> 01:12:04,376
- Now, after careful consideration,
- 1213
- 01:12:04,459 --> 01:12:07,876
- we, your... parents, have decided...
- 1214
- 01:12:07,959 --> 01:12:10,834
- You're going to the Blue Light Disco!
- 1215
- 01:12:10,917 --> 01:12:12,126
- Together.
- 1216
- 01:12:12,209 --> 01:12:14,792
- Together.
- 1217
- 01:12:14,876 --> 01:12:16,667
- - Disco!
- - Disco!
- 1218
- 01:12:21,709 --> 01:12:23,501
- Disco!
- 1219
- 01:12:23,584 --> 01:12:25,209
- Whoo!
- 1220
- 01:12:32,667 --> 01:12:34,876
- Attention, shoppers.
- 1221
- 01:12:34,959 --> 01:12:37,709
- Today is children's day.
- 1222
- 01:12:37,792 --> 01:12:40,376
- All children will be rewarded.
- 1223
- 01:12:45,667 --> 01:12:47,376
- Welcome to the club, men.
- 1224
- 01:12:53,459 --> 01:12:55,126
- Eugh!
- 1225
- 01:12:55,209 --> 01:12:56,834
- Get it into ya.
- 1226
- 01:13:01,467 --> 01:13:03,092
- Little men.
- 1227
- 01:13:03,562 --> 01:13:05,312
- That's the way.
- 1228
- 01:13:12,626 --> 01:13:16,917
- It's true, shoppers.
- All children will be rewarded.
- 1229
- 01:13:17,584 --> 01:13:19,084
- The pill, sweetheart.
- 1230
- 01:13:20,667 --> 01:13:22,417
- Your father and I think it's time.
- 1231
- 01:13:25,501 --> 01:13:28,084
- - Don't we, Bob?
- - Yep.
- 1232
- 01:13:32,209 --> 01:13:33,959
- Thank you!
- 1233
- 01:13:34,042 --> 01:13:36,626
- Thank you.
- 1234
- 01:13:36,709 --> 01:13:39,917
- Thank you!
- 1235
- 01:13:44,626 --> 01:13:47,709
- And, yes, children,
- it's true - rewards, rewards!
- 1236
- 01:13:54,542 --> 01:13:56,167
- Hey. Charger!
- 1237
- 01:13:56,251 --> 01:13:58,417
- Go, boys! Go on!
- 1238
- 01:14:06,584 --> 01:14:08,834
- Let 'em learn the hard way.
- 1239
- 01:14:09,584 --> 01:14:10,709
- Shut up.
- 1240
- 01:14:10,792 --> 01:14:13,042
- - You call this a reward?
- - It's a tough world, kids.
- 1241
- 01:14:13,126 --> 01:14:15,251
- Sometimes tough decisions
- have to be made.
- 1242
- 01:14:15,334 --> 01:14:16,959
- So, say goodbye to Doody.
- 1243
- 01:14:17,042 --> 01:14:20,084
- - He's going to live on a farm.
- - No! Please!
- 1244
- 01:14:20,167 --> 01:14:22,584
- I know, sweetheart. But you'll
- thank us for this one day.
- 1245
- 01:14:22,667 --> 01:14:24,001
- Good bye, Doody.
- 1246
- 01:14:26,204 --> 01:14:27,912
- Bye, Doody.
- 1247
- 01:14:32,042 --> 01:14:34,959
- You look like Engelbert Humperdinck!
- 1248
- 01:14:38,751 --> 01:14:40,501
- Mum!
- 1249
- 01:14:43,209 --> 01:14:46,251
- CE-'day, g'day. J0?
- 1250
- 01:14:46,334 --> 01:14:47,959
- - Ah. CE-'day, Rick.
- - CE-'day, mate.
- 1251
- 01:14:48,042 --> 01:14:49,751
- Here comes the blue-eyed boy.
- 1252
- 01:14:49,834 --> 01:14:51,876
- Oh! Fabulous.
- 1253
- 01:14:51,959 --> 01:14:53,626
- - Oh, Gale!
- - I know!
- 1254
- 01:14:53,709 --> 01:14:55,518
- - This is fantastic, isn't it?
- - What a screamer.
- 1255
- 01:14:55,542 --> 01:14:57,626
- Look at you, you dark horse!
- 1256
- 01:14:59,417 --> 01:15:01,042
- - Gorgeous.
- - Yeah.
- 1257
- 01:15:01,126 --> 01:15:02,667
- Here you go, mate.
- 1258
- 01:15:04,626 --> 01:15:06,584
- - Oh!
- - My little princess.
- 1259
- 01:15:06,667 --> 01:15:08,059
- Rowr!
- 1260
- 01:15:09,794 --> 01:15:11,291
- Oh, my.
- 1261
- 01:15:11,584 --> 01:15:14,001
- Look what we made. Hmm?
- 1262
- 01:15:14,834 --> 01:15:18,001
- Barbra Streisand in A Star Is Born!
- 1263
- 01:15:18,084 --> 01:15:19,209
- Yes.
- 1264
- 01:15:19,292 --> 01:15:21,667
- - Isn't it?
- - Yes!
- 1265
- 01:15:23,376 --> 01:15:25,626
- There comes a time
- in every man's life when...
- 1266
- 01:15:27,084 --> 01:15:28,709
- Bugger it. Just take 'em.
- 1267
- 01:15:28,936 --> 01:15:30,417
- And you know how to put 'em on, right?
- 1268
- 01:15:30,501 --> 01:15:32,667
- 'Cause I could take you
- to the bathroom and show you.
- 1269
- 01:15:32,751 --> 01:15:33,876
- No. No.
- 1270
- 01:15:33,959 --> 01:15:36,959
- There you go.
- Oh, Christ, where's the camera?
- 1271
- 01:15:37,042 --> 01:15:38,667
- - In the car.
- - Oh, Christ!
- 1272
- 01:15:38,751 --> 01:15:40,431
- - Go and get it.
- - Shall I get it? Alright.
- 1273
- 01:15:40,501 --> 01:15:43,876
- - I'd like to leave now.
- - Yeah.
- 1274
- 01:15:43,959 --> 01:15:47,251
- I want to tell you something, alright?
- 1275
- 01:15:47,334 --> 01:15:51,626
- Spontaneity is the key to pleasure.
- 1276
- 01:15:56,251 --> 01:15:57,917
- A little gift from all of us.
- 1277
- 01:15:58,001 --> 01:16:00,084
- Go get 'em, tiger.
- 1278
- 01:16:06,584 --> 01:16:09,626
- Oh, it was only yesterday
- they were in floaties!
- 1279
- 01:16:13,876 --> 01:16:15,501
- Remember your first dance, Rick?
- 1280
- 01:16:15,584 --> 01:16:17,209
- Yes, mate. Sharon Lee.
- 1281
- 01:16:17,292 --> 01:16:19,518
- Got so pissed she didn't
- remember a bloody thing.
- 1282
- 01:16:19,543 --> 01:16:21,127
- What a night.
- 1283
- 01:16:22,876 --> 01:16:25,042
- - This car smells like prawns.
- - Yeah.
- 1284
- 01:16:25,126 --> 01:16:26,334
- It's not good.
- 1285
- 01:16:29,084 --> 01:16:30,459
- After-dinner mint?
- 1286
- 01:16:38,792 --> 01:16:41,001
- We'll pick youse up
- around nine, alright?
- 1287
- 01:16:41,084 --> 01:16:42,834
- Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
- 1288
- 01:16:47,584 --> 01:16:48,626
- Come on.
- 1289
- 01:17:03,042 --> 01:17:05,834
- - Do I look OK?
- - You look great.
- 1290
- 01:17:05,917 --> 01:17:08,209
- Youse two look like knobs!
- 1291
- 01:17:08,292 --> 01:17:11,751
- Oh, stick a sock in it, Knucklehead!
- 1292
- 01:17:11,834 --> 01:17:13,542
- Welcome to the Blue Light Disco.
- 1293
- 01:17:13,626 --> 01:17:15,792
- - Here. Give it to me.
- - Where'd you get that?
- 1294
- 01:17:15,876 --> 01:17:17,667
- Mum and Dad. Unreal, hey?
- 1295
- 01:17:17,751 --> 01:17:19,459
- Jeez, I wish I had parents like yours.
- 1296
- 01:17:19,542 --> 01:17:21,209
- Jeez, I wish I had parents like yours.
- 1297
- 01:17:21,626 --> 01:17:22,917
- Take one and grab a boy.
- 1298
- 01:17:23,001 --> 01:17:24,626
- - Which boy?
- - Doesn't matter.
- 1299
- 01:17:24,709 --> 01:17:26,459
- Just tell him you're on the pill.
- 1300
- 01:17:29,959 --> 01:17:31,084
- I'm on the pill.
- 1301
- 01:17:38,292 --> 01:17:39,292
- Want to dance?
- 1302
- 01:17:40,376 --> 01:17:41,584
- No.
- 1303
- 01:17:57,042 --> 01:17:58,459
- Ooh!
- 1304
- 01:18:02,376 --> 01:18:03,834
- Want to get out of here?
- 1305
- 01:18:10,084 --> 01:18:11,667
- I'm on the pill.
- 1306
- 01:18:18,959 --> 01:18:20,626
- She's just like you and me.
- 1307
- 01:18:22,126 --> 01:18:24,401
- Stuck here. Rotting.
- 1308
- 01:18:25,167 --> 01:18:27,084
- And they'll never let her get away.
- 1309
- 01:18:28,209 --> 01:18:29,459
- Tommy got away.
- 1310
- 01:18:35,542 --> 01:18:37,251
- - Eugh!
- - What's it like?
- 1311
- 01:18:37,334 --> 01:18:38,542
- Awful.
- 1312
- 01:18:48,021 --> 01:18:49,280
- Is this it?
- 1313
- 01:18:50,297 --> 01:18:53,005
- We're gonna be grown-ups soon,
- like our parents.
- 1314
- 01:18:55,251 --> 01:18:56,959
- It's not like the movies, is it?
- 1315
- 01:18:58,115 --> 01:18:59,823
- Maybe she's trying to tell us something.
- 1316
- 01:19:02,001 --> 01:19:04,751
- If our parents have everything,
- why are they so miserable?
- 1317
- 01:19:19,751 --> 01:19:22,626
- - What do you reckon?
- - Piece of piss.
- 1318
- 01:19:22,709 --> 01:19:24,626
- Get rid of it in about three seconds.
- 1319
- 01:19:24,709 --> 01:19:26,542
- Seagulls do the rest.
- 1320
- 01:19:34,501 --> 01:19:36,792
- Christ, it's almost 9:00.
- We gotta go. Come on.
- 1321
- 01:19:36,876 --> 01:19:38,542
- Come on. Come on!
- 1322
- 01:19:41,042 --> 01:19:42,667
- Stop. We've got to go back.
- 1323
- 01:19:42,751 --> 01:19:44,477
- - No, we need to leave now.
- - What about the whale?
- 1324
- 01:19:44,501 --> 01:19:46,227
- No, we've just got to get out
- of these damn clothes
- 1325
- 01:19:46,251 --> 01:19:47,876
- and just go... we'll go back...
- 1326
- 01:19:47,959 --> 01:19:49,584
- Hey, lovebirds.
- 1327
- 01:19:49,667 --> 01:19:51,292
- Hey, are you having fun, Engelbert?
- 1328
- 01:19:51,376 --> 01:19:53,334
- Yeah. Great. Happy it's over.
- 1329
- 01:19:53,417 --> 01:19:55,084
- Who says it's over?
- 1330
- 01:20:36,626 --> 01:20:38,251
- Love you.
- 1331
- 01:21:24,542 --> 01:21:26,126
- Stop, Melly.
- 1332
- 01:21:29,959 --> 01:21:31,126
- Come.
- 1333
- 01:21:32,292 --> 01:21:33,292
- Put your arms around me.
- 1334
- 01:21:36,584 --> 01:21:37,792
- Like your Nanna.
- 1335
- 01:22:15,459 --> 01:22:16,709
- Come on, love.
- 1336
- 01:22:18,459 --> 01:22:19,935
- - Morning, morning, morning.
- - Hey, hey, hey.
- 1337
- 01:22:19,959 --> 01:22:21,584
- - Hey, mate.
- - Hey, Rick.
- 1338
- 01:22:21,667 --> 01:22:22,917
- How'd it go?
- 1339
- 01:22:23,459 --> 01:22:25,917
- It sounded like the bloody
- walls of Jericho coming down.
- 1340
- 01:22:26,001 --> 01:22:27,667
- Oh, shit!
- 1341
- 01:22:27,751 --> 01:22:30,126
- - Stop it! Shush!
- - Alright!
- 1342
- 01:22:40,251 --> 01:22:42,834
- Let's get this over with.
- 1343
- 01:22:44,126 --> 01:22:45,959
- - Right?
- - Couldn't agree more, mate.
- 1344
- 01:22:46,042 --> 01:22:47,768
- Springboks - best team in
- the world. Why can't we watch?
- 1345
- 01:22:47,792 --> 01:22:50,209
- I don't agree with that. Not at all.
- 1346
- 01:22:50,292 --> 01:22:52,001
- I just want to watch rugby.
- 1347
- 01:22:52,084 --> 01:22:54,542
- Let's go and talk to them. Yoo-hoo!
- 1348
- 01:22:54,626 --> 01:22:56,792
- - Hello.
- - Hello, darling.
- 1349
- 01:22:58,001 --> 01:22:59,041
- Did you have a good night?
- 1350
- 01:22:59,084 --> 01:23:01,626
- Cripes! Look at the time.
- Better get a move on.
- 1351
- 01:23:01,709 --> 01:23:03,459
- Yeah. Big news down at the beach.
- 1352
- 01:23:03,542 --> 01:23:05,626
- Your whale is all over the telly.
- 1353
- 01:23:05,709 --> 01:23:08,001
- Christ, he's right.
- We've gotta get a park.
- 1354
- 01:23:08,084 --> 01:23:09,768
- Every bugger and his dog
- will be down there!
- 1355
- 01:23:09,792 --> 01:23:11,432
- Come on, then.
- We've gotta beat the queue.
- 1356
- 01:23:11,501 --> 01:23:13,341
- - Gonna be a bloody nightmare.
- - Come on, love.
- 1357
- 01:23:13,376 --> 01:23:15,584
- Now there's two lanes and
- BOTH bloody lanes are packed!
- 1358
- 01:23:15,667 --> 01:23:17,417
- Oh, my boy.
- 1359
- 01:23:23,251 --> 01:23:26,251
- Everybody clear off!
- This is your last warning!
- 1360
- 01:23:26,334 --> 01:23:27,959
- This is a blast zone!
- 1361
- 01:23:28,042 --> 01:23:30,209
- For the last time, move back!
- 1362
- 01:23:30,292 --> 01:23:33,876
- Sod the lot of youse! Hope you
- all get blown to kingdom come!
- 1363
- 01:23:33,959 --> 01:23:36,209
- Hey. You getting a good shot
- there, tiger?
- 1364
- 01:23:36,292 --> 01:23:38,037
- - Yeah, Dad.
- - On ya, son.
- 1365
- 01:23:38,501 --> 01:23:41,042
- You see? That's why
- we had to beat the traffic.
- 1366
- 01:23:41,126 --> 01:23:43,545
- Look at us. Winners are grinners.
- 1367
- 01:23:44,376 --> 01:23:47,167
- Every news crew. Let's just
- hope that it all goes to plan.
- 1368
- 01:23:47,251 --> 01:23:49,042
- Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
- 1369
- 01:23:52,167 --> 01:23:54,459
- Every news crew in Australia.
- 1370
- 01:23:54,542 --> 01:23:56,584
- Don't take any chances.
- 1371
- 01:23:56,667 --> 01:23:59,459
- - Make sure you get rid of it.
- - You're the boss.
- 1372
- 01:24:00,751 --> 01:24:02,045
- Hey, boys!
- 1373
- 01:24:03,167 --> 01:24:04,376
- Double it!
- 1374
- 01:24:04,459 --> 01:24:06,962
- - Yeah, tops.
- - Double it, boys.
- 1375
- 01:24:07,917 --> 01:24:11,292
- Looking at it from this angle,
- it's just massive.
- 1376
- 01:24:11,376 --> 01:24:13,834
- It's a... massive mammal.
- 1377
- 01:24:13,917 --> 01:24:15,709
- It's a dead whale, not a fish.
- 1378
- 01:24:17,042 --> 01:24:19,126
- You see? That's why I get here early.
- 1379
- 01:24:19,209 --> 01:24:22,376
- Hey, Keith. Keith! Over here.
- Saved you a possie.
- 1380
- 01:24:22,542 --> 01:24:24,834
- - Sorry we're late.
- - Position A.
- 1381
- 01:24:24,917 --> 01:24:27,792
- Gerome's driving the porcelain
- bus like a right nong.
- 1382
- 01:24:27,876 --> 01:24:29,709
- I think I'm gonna spew again.
- 1383
- 01:24:29,792 --> 01:24:31,626
- Hair of the dog. Drink it.
- 1384
- 01:24:33,792 --> 01:24:35,459
- Get it into ya, mate. Good for ya.
- 1385
- 01:24:35,542 --> 01:24:37,251
- Come on, suck it up.
- 1386
- 01:24:47,334 --> 01:24:48,792
- Found a better view?
- 1387
- 01:24:54,352 --> 01:24:56,352
- I'm sorry.
- 1388
- 01:24:58,688 --> 01:25:00,021
- I don't know what happened.
- 1389
- 01:25:02,123 --> 01:25:03,456
- Maybe...
- 1390
- 01:25:06,376 --> 01:25:08,126
- Maybe I was just too nervous.
- 1391
- 01:25:15,834 --> 01:25:18,792
- Maybe you were just looking out for me.
- 1392
- 01:25:22,626 --> 01:25:24,459
- Do you still want to go to Melbourne?
- 1393
- 01:25:26,709 --> 01:25:28,084
- Race you.
- 1394
- 01:25:31,667 --> 01:25:32,959
- Come on.
- 1395
- 01:25:34,667 --> 01:25:36,292
- What do you reckon will happen?
- 1396
- 01:25:36,376 --> 01:25:39,542
- I don't know.
- It's gonna be a mess, though.
- 1397
- 01:25:39,626 --> 01:25:40,667
- Aww!
- 1398
- 01:25:46,126 --> 01:25:49,876
- The big fish, christened Chips
- by the boys at the station,
- 1399
- 01:25:49,959 --> 01:25:52,209
- is about to spend his last day
- in paradise
- 1400
- 01:25:52,292 --> 01:25:55,417
- thanks to Mayor Bradley
- Brimshaw's final solution.
- 1401
- 01:25:55,501 --> 01:25:56,959
- Our friend could have picked
- 1402
- 01:25:57,042 --> 01:25:59,459
- any strip of sand in the
- country to end his days,
- 1403
- 01:25:59,542 --> 01:26:02,084
- and he wisely chose ours -
- 1404
- 01:26:02,167 --> 01:26:06,251
- 1975's Tidy Town winner!
- 1405
- 01:26:06,334 --> 01:26:08,459
- That's a good one, that one.
- 1406
- 01:26:08,542 --> 01:26:10,417
- Our glorious beach
- is about to get even tidier.
- 1407
- 01:26:11,542 --> 01:26:13,459
- - Ladies and gentlemen...
- - Nigel.
- 1408
- 01:26:13,542 --> 01:26:14,834
- ...boys and girls,
- 1409
- 01:26:14,917 --> 01:26:17,959
- bid a hearty farewell
- 1410
- 01:26:18,042 --> 01:26:21,501
- to our great blue whale.
- 1411
- 01:26:36,792 --> 01:26:38,334
- The whale's gone!
- 1412
- 01:26:38,542 --> 01:26:40,251
- Goodbye, whale!
- 1413
- 01:26:46,126 --> 01:26:47,876
- What a fucking fizzer.
- 1414
- 01:26:49,001 --> 01:26:51,584
- She did it! She finally escaped!
- 1415
- 01:27:01,751 --> 01:27:02,751
- Oh!
- 1416
- 01:27:05,959 --> 01:27:07,584
- <i>'</i> Eugh! <i>~</i> Oh!
- 1417
- 01:27:07,667 --> 01:27:09,001
- Oh! Oh!
- 1418
- 01:27:12,042 --> 01:27:13,709
- Oh! Eugh! Eugh!
- 1419
- 01:27:13,792 --> 01:27:16,334
- Oh! Shit a brick! Run!
- 1420
- 01:27:20,251 --> 01:27:21,251
- Shit!
- 1421
- 01:27:31,042 --> 01:27:32,334
- Ohhh!
- 1422
- 01:29:03,542 --> 01:29:08,959
- <i>S' Ah... S'</i>
- 1423
- 01:29:29,001 --> 01:29:31,792
- So, if this is
- the decade that defined us,
- 1424
- 01:29:31,876 --> 01:29:33,751
- then it ended with two superheroes
- 1425
- 01:29:33,834 --> 01:29:36,417
- and two tonnes of dynamite.
- 1426
- 01:29:37,459 --> 01:29:40,167
- Melly and I took flight
- and never looked back.
- 1427
- 01:29:43,167 --> 01:29:45,834
- Don't get me wrong -
- I loved my childhood.
- 1428
- 01:29:45,917 --> 01:29:47,542
- Our parents did the best they could
- 1429
- 01:29:47,626 --> 01:29:49,542
- with the bent tools, they were handed.
- 1430
- 01:29:49,626 --> 01:29:52,626
- And the upshot of trying
- to force a kid into manhood
- 1431
- 01:29:52,709 --> 01:29:54,376
- with a packet of condoms
- 1432
- 01:29:54,459 --> 01:29:57,084
- was the licence to be a 14-year-old
- 1433
- 01:29:57,167 --> 01:29:59,584
- for the rest of his fabulous life.
- 1434
- 01:30:02,292 --> 01:30:05,126
- When people ask me
- what happened in the 1970s,
- 1435
- 01:30:05,209 --> 01:30:07,292
- I've got a simple answer...
- 1436
- 01:30:18,876 --> 01:30:20,685
- You should have just left
- her at the airport, honestly.
- 1437
- 01:30:20,709 --> 01:30:24,209
- Because we come here to have
- a holiday, a family holiday,
- 1438
- 01:30:24,292 --> 01:30:26,126
- and you just... all you've done is yell
- 1439
- 01:30:26,209 --> 01:30:29,917
- and sit there and look fat
- in your purple togs.
- 1440
- 01:30:30,001 --> 01:30:32,751
- Fiji is a dump! I told you
- we should have gone to Tonga!
- 1441
- 01:30:32,917 --> 01:30:34,459
- Here, sir! Look what I found here.
- 1442
- 01:30:34,542 --> 01:30:36,251
- Look how beautiful this turtle is.
- 1443
- 01:30:36,334 --> 01:30:38,584
- Hey, come, look what I found.
- Look at this.
- 1444
- 01:30:40,167 --> 01:30:42,334
- Has he got a hole drilled in his shell?
- 1445
- 01:30:42,501 --> 01:30:44,001
- Yes, he does.
- 1446
- 01:30:45,209 --> 01:30:46,709
- It's Tommy!
- 1447
- 01:30:46,792 --> 01:30:49,167
- He used to live opposite Mum and Dad.
- 1448
- 01:30:49,251 --> 01:30:51,084
- We have to take him back.
- 1449
- 01:31:06,209 --> 01:31:07,917
- OK. Are you recording?
- 1450
- 01:33:41,376 --> 01:33:42,876
- Go, Mama!
- 1451
- 01:36:12,001 --> 01:36:13,376
- Oh, shit!
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