R11:CO5_04.txt

黛「何よこれ！？」%K%P
What is this?!

黛の甲高い声が、小屋じゅうに響き渡った。%K%P
Mayuzumi's shrill voice resounded throughout the cabin.

黛「なんでこんなに……食べ物があるのよ！」%K%P
How did this... there is food!

黛「まさかあんた達……私だけのけ者にして、隠し持ってたの！？」%K%P
Don't tell me... that you all shunned me and hid it from me?!

彼女の目は、猜疑心に満ちてせわしなく私達を見回している。%K%P
Her eyes are full of suspicion, restlessly studying us.

いけない。黛は誤解している。%K%P
This is bad. Mayuzumi has the wrong idea.

こころ「ち、違います」%K%P
N, no, you're wrong.

黄泉木「落ち着け」%K%P
Calm down.

黛「うるさい！」%K%P
Shut the hell up!

私と黄泉木が黛へと一歩、歩み寄ると、黛はますます警戒心を露わにして後ずさった。%K%P
When we took a step toward Mayuzumi, she stepped back and grew more and more wary.

黛「最低よ……あんた達、最低よ！」%K%P
You bastards... you're all bastards!

黛「私を殺す気ね？　３人だけで生き残ろうって魂胆ね！」%K%P
Do you plan to kill me? You're all plotting for just the three of you to survive!

こころ「誤解です！」%K%P
You've got it all wrong!

黛は私の話を聞こうとしない。%K%P
Mayuzumi didn't even try to listen.

いやいやをするように首を振り続けている。%K%P
She kept shaking her head, refusing to hear us.

黛「そうはさせるもんかっ！」%K%P
As if I'd let you!

唐突に、黛は踵を返した。%K%P
Mayuzumi abruptly turned.

ドアを開け、猛烈な吹雪の中へと飛び出していく。%K%P
Opening the door, she flew out into the intense snowstorm.

黄泉木「待て！」%K%P
Wait!

黄泉木が慌てて後を追った。私とゆにも続く。%K%P
Yomogi hurried out after her. Yuni and I were right behind him.

外に出るなり、雪と風が痛いくらいの激しさで私の頬を打った。%K%P
As soon as I got outside, the snow and wind painfully struck against my face.

とても目を開けていられない。%K%P
I can't even keep my eyes open.

それでもなんとか薄目を開けて、黛の姿を探す。%K%P
And yet, somehow, by squinting my eyes, I was able to look for the figure of Mayuzumi.

真っ白な視界の中に、よろめきながら走っていく黛の背中が見えた。%K%P
In the white landscape, I saw Mayuzumi's back. She was running unsteadily.

轟々と鳴る風の音に混じって、彼女の叫び声が聞こえてくる。%K%P
Mingled with the sound of the roaring wind, I heard her screams.

黛「こんなもの！　こんなもの、こうしてやる！」%K%P
You! How dare you?! I'll show you!

黛は、缶を逆さにして、中のカンパンをすべて手のひらに空けた。%K%P
Mayuzumi turned the can upside-down, emptying all the biscuits inside into her hand.

そして、カンパンで山盛りになった手を、そのまま口へと持っていく。%K%P
Then, she brought the hand holding the pile of biscuits to her mouth.

こころ「ダ、ダメッ！」%K%P
N, NOOO!

止めようとしたが、時すでに遅し。%K%P
I tried to stop her, but it was already too late.

黛は、躊躇することなく大量のカンパンを口の中に放り込んだ。%K%P
Without any hesitation, Mayuzumi tossed the biscuits into her mouth.

それでも口の中に収まりきらなかったものは、ボロボロとこぼれ落ち、雪に埋もれてしまう。%K%P
In her frenzy, the biscuits that didn't reach her mouth fell into the snow.

と、黛の身体がぐらりと揺れ、そのまま倒れ込んでしまった。%K%P
And Mayuzumi's body swayed, then collapsed like that onto the snow.

黄泉木が追いつき、強引に引っ張り起こす。%K%P
Yomogi caught up to her and forcibly pulled her to her feet.

黄泉木「おまえ……なんてことを……！」%K%P
You... what did you do...!

黛は黄泉木の手を強く振り払った。%K%P
Mayuzumi forcefully shook off Yomogi's hand.

彼女の顎が、忙しく咀嚼を繰り返していた。%K%P
Her jaw was busy chewing.

ゆに「そんなぁ……ぼく達の、ごはん……」%K%P
Oh no... our... food...

力無く呟くゆにの横で、私も全身から力が抜けていくのを感じた。%K%P
Yuni weakly muttered beside me. I too felt my energy leaving me.

貴重な食糧が、すべてなくなってしまった。%K%P
All of our precious rations are gone.

これから、どうすればいいの……？%K%P
What will we do now...?

黛「あんた達が悪いんだ……！」%K%P
You're the ones at fault here...!

そっぽを向いたまま、黛は吐き捨てるように言う。%K%P
Still facing away from us, Mayuzumi kept ranting.

黛「平等に分配しようだって！？　どこが平等なのよ！」%K%P
"Let's divide it equally," HUH?! Some equality!

黛「私に隠れて３人でコソコソと！　多めに食糧を隠し持ってるなんて！」%K%P
You three secretly hid it from me! You kept all the food to yourselves!

黛「自分達が生き延びるためなら、私なんか死んだっていいってわけ！？」%K%P
Sacrificing me so the rest of you can live?!

黛「ふざけんなっ！」%K%P
Don't fuck with me!

黄泉木「…………」%K%P
......

黄泉木は、怒りのためか呆れているのか、あえて反論しようとしなかった。%K%P
Maybe her rage had shocked even Yomogi, for he didn't dare object.

でも私は、黙っていられなかった。%K%P
But I couldn't stay quiet.

こころ「それは誤解だって言ってるでしょう！」%K%P
I said, you've got it all wrong!

こころ「あれは、私と黄泉木さんとゆに、３人分の食糧をひとつにまとめただけだったんです！」%K%P
What you ate was our combined rations! Yomogi's, Yuni's and mine!

黛「フン、だまされるもんか……」%K%P
Fuun, you think you can trick me...

頑なな黛の態度が、私には許せなかった。%K%P
I couldn't forgive her obstinate attitude.

なぜこの人は、私達を信じようとしないの……？%K%P
Why doesn't she even try to trust us...?

なぜ、自分本位に走ろうとするの？%K%P
Why is she always so selfish?

そんなことしても、どうにもならないのに。%K%P
Even if she acts that way, it's useless.

助け合っていかなくちゃいけないのに。%K%P
We have to help each other.

こころ「黛さん！　あなたは、自分のやったことが――」%K%P
Mayuzumi-san! What you've done――

黄泉木「とにかく、小屋に戻ろう。このままじゃ凍え死ぬ」%K%P
In any case, let's go back to the cabin. We'll die of the cold if we keep hanging around here.

外に出ていた時間はほんのわずかだったのに、すでに私の身体は雪まみれだった。%K%P
We'd been outside for only a short while, and yet my body was already covered in snow.

コートにこびりついた雪を払いながら、黛の様子を窺う。%K%P
While brushing off the snow clinging to my coat, I glanced at Mayuzumi.

彼女は戸口に立ったまま、雪を払おうともせずブツブツとひとり言を呟いていた。%K%P
Still standing in the doorway, without trying to brush the snow away, Mayuzumi grumbled to herself.

黛「私は悪くない……私は悪くない……」%K%P
It's not my fault... It's not my fault...

黄泉木「悪くない？　よくそんなことが言えるな」%K%P
Not at fault? You're in no position to say these kinds of things.

黄泉木が厳しい表情で黛に詰め寄った。%K%P
Yomogi drew near Mayuzumi with a stern expression.

黄泉木「僕達は、おまえに殺されたといっても過言じゃないんだぞ」%K%P
It's not an overstatement to say that you've killed us.

黛はさすがに鼻白んだ。%K%P
As might be expected, Mayuzumi felt ashamed.

黛「な、何よ。そんな大げさな言い方……」%K%P
W, what? That's such an exaggeration...

こころ「大げさなんかじゃありません！」%K%P
It's no exaggeration!

私も黙っていられなかった。%K%P
I, too, was unable to keep silent.

こころ「なんであなたは、そんな自分勝手なんですか！？」%K%P
Why are you so selfish?!

こころ「強がるのはいいですけど、それに私達を巻き込まないでください！」%K%P
It's okay to pretend to be tough, but please don't drag us into it!

黛「…………！」%K%P
......!

黛の顔色が変わる。%K%P
Mayuzumi's expression changes.

その瞳が、揺れている。%K%P
Her pupils seemed to quiver.

黄泉木「最初に言ったはずだぞ」%K%P
I said so right from the very beginning.

黄泉木「雪山では、たったひとりの勝手な行動が、チーム全体を死に追いやると！」%K%P
On a snowy mountain, if even a single person acts selfishly, they'll lead the entire team to their deaths!

黄泉木は顔を真っ赤にして怒鳴っていた。%K%P
Yomogi shouted, his face red.

積もり積もっていた不満が爆発した、そんな感じだった。%K%P
It felt as if all the frustration that had been accumulating over the past several days had finally exploded.

黄泉木「男に指図されるのが嫌いだと！？」%K%P
Are you so opposed to taking instruction from a man?!

黄泉木「オフィスではそれがかっこいいかもしれないけどな、ここは極寒の雪山なんだよ！」%K%P
In an office, that might be oh-so-cool, but this is a snowy mountain in the dead of winter!

黄泉木「生きるか死ぬかしかないんだ！」%K%P
We have no choice! It's life or death!

黄泉木「下らない見栄を張ってるんじゃない！」%K%P
There's no room for you to protect your worthless self-image!

黛「あ…………」%K%P
Ah...

黛はうなだれてしまう。%K%P
Mayuzumi hung her head.

そのまま、ぺたんとその場にしゃがみ込んでしまった。%K%P
She squatted down in place, her knees thudding on the floor.

黛「そ……んな、怒鳴んないで……よぉ……」%K%P
D... don't shout... so loud...

黛は――%K%P
Mayuzumi――

泣いていた。%K%P
was crying.

黛「だって……私だけ……のけ者にされ……てて……」%K%P
It's just... only I... was the outcast...

黛「どうすればいいのか……わかんなくなって……」%K%P
Not knowing... what to do...

黛「知らな……かったのよぅ……」%K%P
I didn't... know...

黛「何も……教えて……くれなかったじゃ……ない……」%K%P
You.. didn't tell me... anything... did you...

黛「怖かった……怖かったの……誰も信じ……られなくて……」%K%P
I was scared... so scared... I couldn't... trust anyone...

黛は、子どものように泣きじゃくっていた。%K%P
Mayuzumi sobbed like a child.

私の中でそれまで黛に対して感じていた怒りが、波のようにサーッと引いていく。%K%P
The anger that I had felt just before receded like a wave as I saw Mayuzumi break down in tears.

初めて、黛鈴という女性の本音に触れることができた気がした。%K%P
For the first time, I felt I could see the real woman named Mayuzumi Lin.

そうだ、彼女もまた、私達と同じように、不安や恐怖と戦っていたのだ。%K%P
She's just like us, struggling against fear and anxiety she has no idea how to cope with.

そして、それに耐えられるのはごく少数だ。%K%P
And besides, I don't think there are many people who could withstand that to start with.

黛は耐えられなかった。%K%P
Mayuzumi was unable to endure it.

表面上は強がっていても、本当はとても弱い人間だったのだ。%K%P
Even if she put on a strong front, she was in reality a frail person.

この極限状態で追い詰められた黛の気持ちは、よくわかった。%K%P
I can understand how Mayuzumi feels, cornered and at her breaking point.

私も、一歩間違えれば彼女のようになっていただろう。%K%P
If I were to make one wrong move right now, I too could end up just like her.

こころ「黄泉木さん……私……」%K%P
Yomogi-san... I...

黄泉木「ああ……わかってる」%K%P
Yeah... I know.

黄泉木は神妙な面もちで、ため息をついた。%K%P
With a meek look, he sighed.

黄泉木「許してやろう」%K%P
Let's forgive her.

ゆに「えー？　でも、もうぼく達、食べるもの何もないんだよ？」%K%P
Eeeh? But... we have nothing left to eat, you know?

ゆには口をとがらせ、不服そうだ。%K%P
Pouting, Yuni objected.

子どもの身には、なによりも空腹は辛いだろうし、我慢できないだろう。%K%P
For a child, I guess hunger is harder to bear than anything else, and he can't tolerate it.

少し未来で自分に訪れる死と、いまこの瞬間の空腹。%K%P
The swiftly approaching specter of death, and our present hunger.

どちらがより重大な問題かといえば、ゆににとってはおそらく後者に違いない。%K%P
For Yuni, it's likely the latter that seems like the bigger problem.

だからなおさら、食糧を横取りした黛が許せないのだろう。%K%P
So Mayuzumi's theft of our rations becomes all the more unforgivable to him.

黄泉木「だからって、黛を責めても、食糧が戻ってくるわけじゃない」%K%P
Condemning her won't bring them back.

ゆに「う、うぅー。そうだけど……」%K%P
U, uuuuu. Right, but...

黄泉木「もう、言い争いはよそう。生き残ることだけを考えるんだ」%K%P
Enough with this quarreling. Concentrate on staying alive.

そう、その方が、よっぽど建設的だ。%K%P
Right, that's much more constructive.

黛「うっ……ううっ……」%K%P
Uuu... Uuuuh...

黛は、いつまでも泣き止まなかった。%K%P
Mayuzumi still hadn't stopped crying.

その姿が痛々しくて、私は声をかけることができなかった。%K%P
Looking as pitiful as she did, I couldn't call out to her.

それに、同情はしたくなかった。%K%P
More than that, I didn't want to pity her.

黛の気持ちは理解できたけれど、重大な過ちを犯したこともまた事実なのだ。%K%P
I can understand her feelings, but the sin she committed still remains.

現実はなにも変わっていない。%K%P
It doesn't change the reality of things.

極寒の小屋の中で、食べるものもなくあと何日耐えればいいのか。%K%P
In this freezing cold cabin, how many more days must we hold out without anything to eat?

先が見えない不安が、私を包み込んでいた。%K%P
The anxiety of being unable to tell how things will turn out overcame me.

私は深いため息を吐くと、ベッドに腰掛けた。毛布にくるまる。%K%P
I heaved a deep sigh and sat down on the bed. I covered myself with the blankets.

いつ果てるともない、寒さとの戦いが再び始まった――%K%P
The battle against the unrelenting cold began once more――