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leafbarrett

the story of aeger, told really badly

leafbarrett
Jan 17th, 2020
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  1. [8:41 PM] Leafia_Barrett: so Kiri, Cadey, and some friends of theirs decided to do a tabletop game
  2. [8:43 PM] Leafia_Barrett: Kiri's initial character was a gunner, and that ended up being really dull because guns in Pathfinder somehow manage to be boring (my understanding at least, never tried them myself)
  3. [8:43 PM] Leafia_Barrett: so he ended up rolling a second character
  4. [8:43 PM] Leafia_Barrett: an oread sentinel named Aeger
  5. [8:44 PM] Leafia_Barrett: they were beta testing the upcoming Pathfinder expansion, I think that might actually be why they did the game but it was so long ago I don't remember
  6. [8:44 PM] Leafia_Barrett: sentinels had one job
  7. [8:44 PM] Leafia_Barrett: not dying
  8. [8:44 PM] Leafia_Barrett: ever for any reason
  9. [8:45 PM] Leafia_Barrett: d12 hit dice, and access to spheres (skill trees, basically) that turned them into MMO tanks
  10. [8:45 PM] Leafia_Barrett: like, literally
  11. [8:46 PM] Leafia_Barrett: they get a skill that lets them taunt an intelligent enemy within range, granting the enemy a hit bonus against the sentinel but a hit penalty against every other character
  12. [8:46 PM] Leafia_Barrett: so Kiri grabbed that and fucking ran with it
  13. [8:48 PM] Leafia_Barrett: later he branched into the other branch of the guardian sphere, which gave him a radius in which FF14 Paladin's cover was active for all allies and he could quickstep to attack any enemy that entered the radius with an AoO
  14. [8:48 PM] Leafia_Barrett: he came in decked out in full heavy plate and absurd Con
  15. [8:50 PM] Leafia_Barrett: there were multiple instances of Aeger basically grabbing the entire room's aggro and just weathering all the damage because he had infinite HP and his armor caused the majority of attacks to bounce off
  16. [8:51 PM] Leafia_Barrett: Cadey, on the other hand, was the healer
  17. [8:52 PM] Leafia_Barrett: and she was just straight up White Mage
  18. [8:52 PM] Leafia_Barrett: she healed real good
  19. [8:52 PM] Leafia_Barrett: and also could dump enough burst healing to be functionally Benediction
  20. [8:53 PM] Leafia_Barrett: so they get to the final floor of the extradimensional tower that the whole thing takes place in, and they encounter the big bad, named Jacob
  21. [8:53 PM] Leafia_Barrett: I totally forget what his phase 1 was, but his phase 2 had him transform into a fucking dragon
  22. [8:54 PM] Leafia_Barrett: and at some point, Jacob dropped a tankbuster on Aeger
  23. [8:54 PM] Leafia_Barrett: and fucking crit him
  24. [8:54 PM] Leafia_Barrett: this is beyond illegal amounts of damage
  25. [8:54 PM] Leafia_Barrett: he dropped from like... hovering near or slightly over 200 HP? to like -100 instantly
  26. [8:55 PM] Leafia_Barrett: he staggers backwards, starts to fall
  27. [8:55 PM] Leafia_Barrett: and catches himself mid-fall and bellows at the top of his fucking lungs "JACOB!!!!!!"
  28. [8:55 PM] Leafia_Barrett: which counted as a taunt
  29. [8:55 PM] Leafia_Barrett: it turns out he picked up Diehard at some point along the line
  30. [8:55 PM] Leafia_Barrett: or... wait, not Diehard, though he had that
  31. [8:56 PM] Leafia_Barrett: I forget what the skill was called
  32. [8:56 PM] Leafia_Barrett: but it was Walking Dead
  33. [8:56 PM] Leafia_Barrett: if the unit dies, they don't die until their next turn comes up
  34. [8:56 PM] Leafia_Barrett: enough healing will allow them to survive
  35. [8:57 PM] Leafia_Barrett: Cadey hits the panic button and dumps like 150 HP into him
  36. [8:57 PM] Leafia_Barrett: he surives
  37. [8:58 PM] Leafia_Barrett: in the end, they walk out of that fight deathless
  38. [8:59 PM] Leafia_Barrett: and in fact, they walk out with -1 deaths, because doing really well in a prior puzzle left them with a consumable life miracle spell
  39. [8:59 PM] Leafia_Barrett: earlier in the run, the other cleric got crit by an overtuned floor boss and got ripped in half
  40. [9:01 PM] Leafia_Barrett: one of the other party members says "Bring. Charlie. Back." and Jacob, being a smug fucker who's also incredibly dead, warps his corpse out of the tower as a final middle finger
  41. [9:01 PM] Leafia_Barrett: and has it shoved right back in his stupid face when they use the spell and bring Charlie back to life
  42. [9:02 PM] Leafia_Barrett: and that's the story of how Kiri learned to love the tank role
  43. [9:02 PM] Leafia_Barrett: you may notice some similarities between this story and how he runs tank in FF14
  44. [9:02 PM] Leafia_Barrett: this is not a coincidence.
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