Hell.

Hell’s a pretty big place. Trust me, I’ve been here for a while, I would know. I don’t remember how long, exactly, time seems to fly by faster than I can really keep up, heh. I remember I died of a kinda sickness though, real bad sickness.

But nah, it ain’t like what you see in movies, or read about in books, or hear about in songs. Nah, no gnashing of the teeth, or eternal rivers of fire. None of that, god, no! God is a bit more creative than we give him credit for. Can you imagine how boring that would be? Just dyin’ over and over again? It’d get pretty old pretty fast I think, it maybe scary for the first few times, but not thousands. It’s a bit less violent than that.

Well, for starters, it’s pretty dagumn dark here. Yeah! I mean, you would think hell is at least a bit bright from all the, uh, brimstone and such. But no, just as dark as a pit. That was my first surprise, I think. I was like ‘Woah! Where’s the fire?’ But there really wasn’t anyone to tell me, so I just started walking and, well, haven’t stopped. I feel kind of a, well I don’t know how to describe it, a compulsion I guess? I just keep walking and thinkin’ I’ll get somewhere.

And nah, there ain’t no screamin’ or sobbing here either. There’s just this weird droning sound that just follows you around, but it ain’t that loud. It’s just kinda sitting there, in the back of your mind. Like that sound when you jump into water, but deeper and slower. It was kinda creepy but eh, you get used to it after a while.

And it’s, uh, kinda empty here too. I was pretty late into the game before I saw anything here, and I ain’t even sure that was real. It wasn’t a person, I can tell you that. Kind of a…squid looking thing. Just a buncha’ tentacles and suckers! Ever since I saw that, I ain’t seen much else. It just kinda floated by, didn’t even bother stoppin’ when it saw me.

But I gotta say, the worst bit is this fog…a kinda haze that covers the entire place. It sits in the back of your head, and claws at the back of your mind. Just messes with your head. I mean, I woulda’ told y’all my name if I knew it. It ain’t like I remember much from before I was here, I don’r even remember how I died, hell, I don’t even remember how long I’ve been here. I don’t even…I don’t…

...

Where am I?