Offline's Gaming History

Gaming History of my life

- 20xx didn't play anything except for some Pokemon games
- 2007, a cousin shows me Runescape and I'm completely addicted
- Crank Dat was the thing during the time so of course my username is Souljaboi265
- 5th grade 2008, we get a Wii
- Manual says that it is recommended to take periodic breaks
- So my mom enforces that we take a 15 minute break every 1 hour
- One minigame I play requires full and intensive attention and has a penalty of leaving mid-game
- I play this game a lot
- As a result I don't take breaks most of the time and I just ignore them
- Mom gets mad that I don't and starts turning off the internet by shutting off the router
- Mom also turns off internet at night so I can't play all night
- Router is upstairs and I'm downstairs so I can't just go and turn it back on whenever I want
- Can't play Runescape without internet
- Still same life, play Runescape until she turns it off, wait 15 minutes and turn it back on
- Have nothing to do at night except sulk over the lack of Runescape
- Summer 2012, brother introduces me to Team Fortress 2
- I can play TF2 at night without internet
- Fighting bots was fun so I try my skills online
- Too hard since I'm trash so I only play on achievement_idle, freak fortress, and a trade server named Aycerus
- Become obsessed with TF2 and stop playing Runescape for a bit
- Play TF2 for free and swear to never go to the dark side of paying for the game and trading
- It eventually happens
- Become a big time trader that ends up trading more than actually playing to get better
- Eventually become a top suggester on backpack.tf, I basically barely play TF2
- Notorious for raising the price of items I currently owned (like raising strange scatterguns while owning 35)
- Owned several monopolies on low tier stranges and botkillers and manipulated their prices
- Show off in Aycerus using my cosmetics
- Use cheap tactics like dead ringer spy, spawn camping, sniper door staring to kill people and hide my less than average skills
- People who I can't beat I trash them by calling them faggot and stupid weeaboo and ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- Start making binds to spam
- Eventually find a way to potentially turn my entire keyboard into several keyboards dedicated to binds
- Eventually my keyboard has less game-function keys than keys that allow me to call you a gayass 10 year old at the press of a key
- By 2015, amass ~5,500 hours of TF2 (albeit most of it is standing in a trade server while trading and doing nothing)
- So in 3 years TF2 was open for a fifth of that time...
- Somewhere in this time, a regular (Twinny, never forget) becomes admin
- Somewhere in this time, I got permanently banned from Aycerus with a group dedicated to banning me and several others, came back with a "heart felt appeal" (also because it was a bullshit reason)
- Somewhere along the way, on Aycerus's decline, Twinny tells me she'd basically make me an admin even after my perm ban
- Summer 2014, my brother shows me a funny anime titty gif
- Lol so funny look at the bouncy titties on the short girl lol
- He tells me its anime
- Initially against the idea since I call people on TF2 stupid gay weeaboos all the time
- We both try the anime (Seitokai Yakuindomo)
- As soon as it starts there's some super super weeaboo intro
- I just look at him like "what the fuck is this"
- He shrugs and says "It's one of... those"
- We get through the first episode
- I like it
- He gives me some more episodes
- He only ever watches the first episode
- Meanwhile I watch the whole thing because it's hilarious
- Life at this point: Play TF2 until mom turns internet off and then rewatch Seitokai Yakuindomo
- Literally watch nothing but Seitokai Yakuindomo for 1-2 months
- Eventually try to look for another anime
- I try to find animes within the same genre, which would be lots of sex jokes and a harem of cute anime girls in a club with 1 guy
- Find a couple, the next 4 were Seitokai no Ichizon, Haganai, Baka Test, High School DxD
- So my brother turned me into a weeaboo and he doesn't even watch the shit
- After that it's just history, man
- Become a full fledged fucking weeaboo, the same that I so despised about 6 months ago
- Eventually watch so much anime that I stop playing TF2 because I can't do both
- Life at this point: Watch anime literally the whole day
- I vividly remember watching Madoka Magica and plotting out "Okay, if I can watch episodes 1-6 now, that means I'll finish 7-12 tomorrow, and have enough time to watch another full anime"
- Somewhere around 2015 I just go back to tf2
- Trading is gay so I basically just play for fun like I used to pledge to do
- Play only on Aycerus because I'm still bad at tf2 and its fun
- October 2015, find anime games on Steam
- Become a full steam weeaboo
- Now I can flex my weeaboo-ism and tf2 hours and wealth on steam
- Don't even play TF2 anymore, so much for 2+ years of trading and amassing a giant collection, am I right
- The computer chair I have isn't that comfortable, so just watching anime is kinda paining me, literally
- Realize that I can just multitask something while I watch anime
- Somewhere in 2016, start playing Runescape again just to watch anime on the other half of the screen
- Spend days playing Runescape + watching anime and then switching to anime games when internet is off
- April 2016, I brought my laptop to my friend's dorm
- Normally we just play Super Smash Brothers Video Game intended for use with the Nintendo Wii U console and the Nintendo 3DS handheld system
- Shitty laptop so the only games I had on it were TF2 and Undertale
- Already played Undertale like 10 times at this point
- Aycerus is garbage and was down at this time garbage server can't keep itself up
- Old laptop so Runescape is still on my task bar
- Open it up because well what other options are there am I right
- Start playing
- Get addicted again
- No one quits Runescape, you just take extended hiatuses
- Unfortunately in 2017 Aycerus officially pretty much dies
- Aycerus went down and it had an IP change so basically no one knew where it was anymore and it died
- I will never forget you Aycerus, my first love
- Summer 2017
- Some server (very poor people, vpp) hosts the map Aycerus used to
- The map was pretty much the primary reason I love Aycerus (other than the people)
- The map is a custom combination of cp_orange and trade_plaza along with some other gimmicks made by Aycerus' admin
- So for another server to host it is like unbelievable
- Go on and some Aycerus regulars are there too
- It's the same ol' Aycerus that I loved, spawn camping, lenny face, and everything you don't want to see in a real server
- Ah, I'm home
- Summer 2017 ends
- That TF2 phase lasted one summer, I'm back to play Runescape exclusively again
- Summer 2018
- For some reason I am incapable of watching anime and playing Runescape at the same time
- So I'm watching some videos to pass the time
- Somehow end up on STAR_ videos
- Oh wow TF2 so nostalgic
- Back playing VPP and Runescape
- I really, really love TF2 so I said okay
- I'll just do it
- I'll splurge once
- I spent 800 dollars on Fountain of Delight Conga
- 4 months later it drops to 50 keys
- So much for that right
- VPP and Aycerus are pretty much dead at this point
- My game is constantly crashing and I don't know why
- I want to play TF2 but the game crashes every 10-20 minutes
- I googled an answer because I thought it was my graphics but it wasn't
- Apparently I just had to delete some sound.cache files
- Early September 2018, VPP and Aycerus are pretty much just empty
- What else is there to do in Team Fortress 2?
- So I figured, why not play Team Fortress 2
- Play casual servers as if I have any skill
- 680 hours of spy, 600 hours of sniper, 600 hours of scout, literally I just played pick classes in trade servers
- Didn't know how to play anything else
- Get destroyed in games every time because I have trade server skills and not Team Fortress 2 real map skills
- Play soldier because it's easy epic shoot at ground meme
- Use whatever rocket jumping skills I possess
- Start doing good/ok
- Top score or help team a lot
- For like 2 months I played only soldier and my strange Original went from 1.3k to 6k kills
- Eventually start playing other classes for the sake of the team
- I've never played more heavy or engineer in my life at this point
- I've never had more fun playing TF2 just playing casual servers
- Protip if you think TF2 is starting to get boring: Stop playing 1 class and stop playing scout on dustbowl
- I played more casual in the last 2 months than I have in the past 5 years
- At this point I'm not really playing Runescape anymore because I like TF2
- Again, I really, really love TF2
- Start putting money into it
- Sept 30 2018 I buy myself the Something Special for Someone Special $100 wedding ring basically for myself
- Give the other half to my brother as a birthday gift xD
- And on the same day as my brother's birthday, TF2Outpost is shut down and is completely dead
- At this point, I figured that trading was dead now
- So I'm looking and browsing around
- I go back to the evil site that is marketplace.tf, where I bought my Fountain Conga for 800 dollars
- I see a Collector's Phlogistinator
- I figure well phlog is um... uh....
- Well, it's phlog
- I buy it
- I see on backpack.tf that I can easily make a suggestion out of this after 4-5 years of not suggesting
- Make the suggestion nice and easy
- I start looking at other suggestions
- Suggestions are braindead easy now, you used to have to go on outpost, find sales and closed trades, and amass walls of links
- Now all you have to do is go on bot.tf and it's literally there for you
- Start going back to suggesting, just updating every item in my backpack
- Then I start seeing some easy suggestions, like 1 of 1 sales on marketplace
- I go to marketplace to look for these
- I discover skins
- I knew skins were around for a while and I didn't get into them because I was in a Runescape phase
- After the Collector's Phlog, I figured, shit, I could put some money into my tf2 backpack for flex
- I buy a strange factory new shell shocker rocket launcher
- I'm a little sad that I can't transfer the kills from my original to the shell shocker
- Playing casual servers with my shell shocker, thinking, yeah i'm the shit, lime cosmetics, lime rocket launcher i'm the best, dude
- Reach 4k kills on it, I have finally achieved a "hale's own rocket launcher" between the shell shocker and the original
- Buy Strange Battery Canteens because I thought it counted points, but it doesn't
- Start playing MvM again and now I'm just playing MvM to pass the days
- There's a lot of down time waiting for MvM
- I'm still browsing around for skins and suggestions
- I see a strange factory new freedom wrapped rocket launcher
- It doesn't really match my lime, but this America launcher is beautiful as hell
- ... I buy it
- This is a hard decision because one thing I really love is numbers
- I love having one strange and seeing how much kills I can get on one weapon
- That's why I never traded stranges away because I felt my progress was going away (even though a lot of it is trade server)
- Also why when strange transfer tool came out, all my anxiety went away
- So now I have my original, my shell shocker, and this brand new freedom wrapped launcher
- My shell shocker already has 3 parts, so I put robots destroyed onto the freedom launcher so I could use it in mvm (remember I like numbers)
- Around this time, I figure, damn, putting robots destroyed on my rocket launchers is pretty cool
- My brother is a cow mangler enthusiast in mvm
- Eventually I buy a collector's cow mangler because I can actually strangify it and use it viably in mvm
- My complex of owning one strange with a ton of kills is dissipating
- Around November and December 2018
- There's some beautiful-ass stranges for 299.99 each on marketplace
- Killer Bee, Sand Cannon, Thunderbolt
- I've been dreaming of these for a long time, even when I didn't care about skins
- Killer Bee gets sold
- I'm scared that Sand Cannon will get sold but the fucking price tag
- I buy around christmas time lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
- Now I have 5 launchers, original/shell shocker/freedom/collector's mangler/sand cannon
- Now I have a new complex
- I can't use something if it's not: 1. Pro Killstreak / 2. Factory New / 3. Strange
- Had a sliiiiight interest in unusual skins, but my complex stopped me from buying some garbage tier
- Then I see it
- A Cool Croc Dusted Rocket Launcher, strange, factory new, and it even had my favorite KS effects
- 200 keys
- ouch
- I talk the owner down to 180 keys but shit its still 180 keys
- I buy it
- Now I figure, oh god I have too much rocket launchers now
- I have to sell one to "make room"
- I peruse my collection with a heavy heart
- The least used: my shell shocker rocket launcher
- I already had the freedom, mangler, and sand cannon all with robots destroyed
- It hurt to do it, but I used some strange transfer tools to transfer the kills and strange part counters to some other launchers
- I put it up for sale
- In a sense, I'm sad that I sold it, but luckily, I sold it to a good friend who is a skin enthusiast like I am
- So I know it's in a good place
- Along the way, I buy some decent skins for some other classes
- alien tech iron bomber, dream piped minigun, psychedelic slugger revolver
- jazzy scattergun which actually sold me a lot lol
- At this point, I'm looking at marketplace every single day, looking for a deal or looking for a suggestion
- And then it happens
- I see a Balloonicorn Sniper Rifle for only 100 dollars
- I buy it (it's like my fucking motto at this point)
- Remember how I said I like numbers? Having a ton of kills on one weapon?
- Sniper was like, the exception
- In my trade server days, I "mained" spy and sniper
- At least with spy, I had a nice number of kills across all of my knives because all of them weren't reskins, they were separate weapons (stock, YER, kunai)
- But with sniper it was different
- I had a bazaar bargain with 13337 kills from my OG trading days when strange sniper rifle was too expensive
- I retired it because lol 13337
- I had an australium sniper rifle with 10000 kills, it was my first australium (I bought it, didn't win it)
- And finally, I had a strange festive sniper rifle with about 9700 kills
- Up until I stopped at the 13337 and 10000, I used all of them because they were cool and I only played trade servers
- But now I have this Balloonicorn rifle
- It didn't feel right to have all these rifles and I wouldn't end up using one of them
- So I used 2 strange transfer tools and combined my australium and festive into the balloonicorn
- I go to sell my australium and festive rifle
- I look at the backpack.tf histories on them
- Damn, the festive rifle I've had for 5 years at this point... now that's a beautiful thing
- And when I get to the australium sniper rifle, it hits me
- It's a 2 person history
- Me
- and a man I knew as Fat Bastard
- an aycerus OG
- I think about aycerus, I think about sentiments
- Remember how I said I like numbers? Having a ton of kills on one weapon?
- I got attached to my items since I've held onto them for so long
- The SF Scatter I replaced with my Jazzy, it had 20k kills on it and I didn't have to pick and choose between 1 or 2 scatterguns like my rocket launchers
- The SF Minigun I replaced with my Dream Piped, again, I only had 1 minigun
- I
- I couldn't do it
- I still have to sell one of these rifles
- I wipe the name off the festive rifle because I'm salty and don't want to give anyone that name
- I wipe the name off the Australium rifle and give that name to the balloonicorn
- I dedicate the sniper rifle to aycerus
- "A dedication to Aycerus and the gang." - 'Gone, but never forgotten. Now let me take a trip down memory lane...'
- I'm in my feelings, man
- I start thinking about Aycerus
- I remember a gift
// ~flashback~
- There was a great man who went by Mundy
- He was an Aycerus regular and OG and loaded as fuck
- He would give randoms and friends unusuals
- I never used unusuals because I don't like the idea of just wearing one hat forever, I liked to switch my cosmetics
- I was never expecting an unusual, but one time I was an asshole and I was like "rip me" after one friend got 2 of them
- You could argue I was half-expecting him to give me one, but that wasn't my intention
- But of course, he gives me, not one, but two!!
- This didn't happen recently by the way, this was back in the day but I don't know where to place it in the timeline
- I got a Terror-Watt Crone's Dome and a Miami Nights Tartan Tyrolean
- I already didn't care for unusuals so they just hung around in my backpack
- Eventually, I ended up trading the unusuals even though I didn't like the thought of trading gifts
- Some time later, I remember reading on Mundy's profile
- "If I gift you something, please do not trade it away!"
- Oh shit
//
- Go back into my backpack history and find the Crone's Dome I used to have
- I found it with my name all the way at the bottom
- I add the current owner
- But the current owner's backpack and profile is private
- Fruitlessly try to add him and get ignored several times over the course of 2 weeks
- At one point he opens his profile to comments with his profile reading "don't bother adding me for a trade"
- I comment begging and pleading to hear my request
- I get into contact with him
- I just ask him straight up, hey man, the Crone's Dome you have, it used to be mine and I want to buy it back
- But the problem
- It's his dream unusual too, the only one he has
- He doesn't want keys for it because he's not into trading so he wanted a different nice all-class unusual
- We decide on I get another Terror-Watt Crone's Dome and swap him for it
- I add another person and explain my situation
- I end up buying the Crone's and he says to me that he appreciates what I'm doing because he's had the same thing happen to him
- Swap the Terror-Watt Crone's Dome successfully and the Crone's Dome I traded away years ago is back in my possession
- I still haven't obtained my Miami Nights Tartan Tyrolean yet, but it's a work in progress