Chapter 1: Making Morty

Hi I'm Mr Meeseeks look at me!

Rick wants me to tell you how to be a Morty! So heeere we go!

First of all your a Morty! Hooboy right? Thats a tough job, and the council of Rick doesn't know which of you to give to your Rick so your all on trial status. Wooopie!

All you gotta do is whatever your grandfather wants and not die and you may not get sent back to your cold dark cell in rickspace. How exciting!

Now first we gotta get our d6s. You don't have one! Well that's okay get one! I'll wait... hurry up... COME ON I SAID GET THE FUCKIN D6 ALREADY IM MR MEESEEKS LOOK AT oh you got the dice woohoo!

Now roll that 2d6s and divide by 3 for each of these Mad Skillz yo.

SKILLZ
Screwdriver passing: Sometimes you have to do some tricky stuff to keep your Rick impressed. This lets you adjust your physical coordination yo.
Schwifty: Sometimes you gotta get Schwifty yo! This lets you be the likable fellow that can drop those fly beats and show the other mortys what you got.
Mortitude: There is being a Morty then there is being a MORTY. Your mortitude lets you better perform the type of stuff you need to do to be a morty. It's not easy to fit a megaseed up your butt you know!
Sass: You know sometimes you gotta make a statement, you gotta make fun of someone. Sass lets you make fun of people and plan against them. You know not everyone can keep their shit together, so call them out on it.
Dumb Luck: Um... I don't really know how I'm supposed to explain this! Just get it so I can go home. (Look at me)
Alchoholism: Sometimes its hard to get by in this world. This is the easiest way to do it. The higher it is the less the nihilism of the world will bother you.

TYPE OF MORTY!

Every Morty is special! Well no you aren't but I'm not supposed to tell you that because you'll get mad depressed! So... oops.
Roll a 1d6 to see what kindof morty you are. Then roll again to see what other type you are.

1. Virginal Morty: +1 Dumb Luck, -1 Alcoholism. You still think the world has morals. It's cute.
2. Dumbass Morty: +1 Mortitude, -1 Sass. You know I was told Morties are retarded but hooboy.
3. Evil Morty: +1 Sass, -1 Dumb Luck. You hate the world, too bad it hates you too.
4. Brownnoser Morty: +1 Schwifty, -1 Mortitude: You know if you didn't spend as much time kissing ass and more time actually doing what Rick tells you maybe he actually will love you.
5. Traumatized Morty: +1 Alcoholism, -1 Screwdriver Passing. Your a broken Morty, too bad there isnt a psychologist Rick.
6. Jerry: +1 Screwdriver Passing, -1 Schwifty. You probbably think you are tough because you can beat a giant mantis. No one likes you Jerry, you shit golf swinging cuck. Fuck you I'm Mr Meeseeks.

Shirt Color:
Roll 1d66 to find out what shirt you where. Woopity do.

Snowflakeyness:
Roll 1d66 to find out what makes your morty different! Then do it again! Then stop your self centered shithole you aren't important enough for three rolls.

STRESS:
Pick your stress explosion among the options available to you thanks to your type.

Finally pick a item, multiply Schwifty by 2 to get your starting "Respect" and your Alcoholism by ten to get your "Nihilism".