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- Cupcakes
- By Sergeant Sprinkles: World's Greatest Party Clown
- Edited by Edinpony
- WARNING: This fanfiction is incredibly gory, and may ruin your appreciation of a certain My
- Little Pony character as well as the titular baked goods. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
- The air was warm, the sun was shining, and everypony in Ponyville was having a glorious day.
- The town square was bustling and crowded and busy ponies filled the streets. All the pony folk seemed to
- have somewhere specific to be. All except Rainbow Dash; her place was in the sky. She tore freely
- through the air, speeding one way and the next, buzzing the tree tops and racing the wind. The blue
- pegasus swooped over a schoolyard, much to the delight of the children, then climbed several hundred feet
- and dove, streaking downward as fast as she could. Seconds before hitting the ground, her wings flew
- open and she pulled up back into the clear blue. Rainbow felt alive.
- Suddenly, Dash remembered that she had somewhere to be; she was supposed to meet with
- Pinkie Pie in five minutes. Dash had gotten so caught up in her exercises that she’d nearly forgotten that
- Pinkie had asked to meet her at Sugercube Corner at three. Pinkie hadn’t said why or what they’d be
- doing, but Dash knew that with Pinkie, it could be anything. Dash wasn’t sure if she really wanted to go,
- though. She was so engaged with her stunts that she thought about blowing Pinkie off to continue flying.
- But, Dash’s conscience got the better of her. She knew that it would hurt Pinkie’s feelings; after all,
- Pinkie had said it was going to be something special just for the two of them. Dash considered it and
- thought “why not?” What did she have to lose? Heck, it might be more pranking. Pinkie might have found
- a bunch more fun stuff to pull on folks, and they’d had so much fun the last time. Dash kicked into
- overdrive to make up for lost time, and sped to her appointment.
- When Dash walked into the store, she was immediately greeted by her host, who was bouncing in
- excitement. “Yay, you’re here! I’ve been waiting aaall day,” said the jumping pony.
- “Sorry if I’m a little late, Pinkie. I was doing my afternoon exercises and lost track of time,” Dash
- apologized.
- Pinkie giggled and responded in a gleefully reassuring tone, “Oh that’s ok, you’re here now.
- What‘s a few more minutes? I’ve been sooo excited thinking about all fun stuff we’re gonna do, I haven’t
- stopped bouncing since I woke up. I mean, I almost forgot to breathe I’ve been so happy.”
- Dash gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh. She had always appreciated Pinkie Pie’s friendly,
- outgoing way of life, but Pinkie’s overabundant enthusiasm almost creeped her out. Dash maintained a
- polite expression, however. If Pinkie was this worked up, whatever she had planned must be good.
- “So, you ready to get started, Rainbow Dash? I’ve got everything all ready,” the pink pony said.
- Dash psyched herself up. “You betcha, Pinkie. So what do ya got planed? We gonna prank
- somebody? I got a couple of good ones I’ve been thinking about. Or maybe you’ve got some stunts you
- think I should try? Or perhaps…”
- “MAKING CUPCAKES!” Pinkie happily announced.
- “Baking?” Dash was disappointed. “Pinkie, you know I’m not good at baking. Remember last
- time?”
- “Oh that’s not a problem at all. I only need your help making them. I’ll be doing most of the
- work,” Pinkie explained.
- Dash thought for about it for a second. “Well, alright, I guess that’s ok. What exactly do you need
- me to do?”
- “That’s the spirit. Here you go.” Pinkie handed Dash a cupcake.
- Dash was puzzled “I thought I was helping you bake.”
- “You will be. I made this one just for you before you got here.
- “So, is this like taste testing or something?”
- “Sorta,” Pinkie said.
- Dash shrugged and popped the pastry in her mouth. She chewed a bit and swallowed. Not bad.
- “Ok, now what?” Dash asked.
- “Now,” Pinkie informed her, “You take a nap.”
- Puzzled, Dash opened her mouth but felt instantly lightheaded. A wave of dizziness washed over
- her, the world spun, and seconds later she collapsed to the floor.
- When Dash regained conciseness, she found herself in a dark room. She tried to shake her head
- but found that a taut leather strap held it firmly in place. She struggled to move, but braces around her
- chest and limbs glued her to a rack formed from a series of sturdy planks, which spread her legs wide
- apart. Dash’s wings were the only part of her not tied down, and they fluttered frantically while she
- struggled to escape. As she writhed, Pinkie jumped suddenly into her line of sight.
- “Goodie, you’re awake. Now we can get started,” Pinkie stated gleefully. She bounded into the
- darkness, and quickly reappeared pushing a small cart covered with a cloth.
- “Pinkie, what’s going on? I can’t move!” Dash said urgently.
- “Well duh, that’s because you’re tied down,” chided Pinkie. “That’s why you can’t move. I didn’t
- think you’d need to be told that.”
- “But why? What’s happening? I thought you said I was going to help make cupcakes.”
- “You are helping. You see, I ran out of the special ingredient and I need you to get more.”
- “Special ingredient?” Dash was now breathing heavily and starting to panic. “What special
- ingredient?”
- Pinkie giggled and responded “You, silly!”
- Dash’s eyes widened, and her face contorted in fear. Then she started to laugh and said, in a
- voice bordering on hysteria, “Woo, you really got me there, Pinkie pie. I mean, tricking me in to thinking
- I’m gonna get made into a cupcake? I gotta tell you, this the best prank yet. You win, you’re the best.”
- Pinkie only giggled even more. “Aw, thanks Dash. But I haven’t done any pranks today, so I can’t
- accept your praise.”
- Dash was struggling again. “Pinkie, come on, this isn’t funny.”
- “Then why were you laughing?” Before Dash could answer, Pinkie grabbed the cloth and
- whipped it off the cart. On the cart was a tray containing various sharp medical tools and knives, carefully
- organized and wickedly sharp, as well as a large medical bag.
- Dash was now in full panic mode. She was starting to hyperventilate. Her mind raced as she tried
- to reason with the pink pony. “You can’t do this Pinkie! I’m your friend!”
- “I know you are and that’s why I’m so happy that I’ve got you here. We get to share your last
- moments together, just you and me.” Pinkie was skipping again.
- “But, the other ponies will wonder where I am. When the clouds pile up, they’ll come looking for
- me and then you’ll get found out,” Dash cried in desperation.
- “Oh, Dash,” said Pinkie. “Don‘t worry, there are plenty of pegasus ponies to take care of a few
- clouds. And besides, no will find out. I mean, how long do you think I’ve been doing this?” And with that
- ominous statement, the lights suddenly came to life and revealed the rest the room.
- “Oh no.” Dash reeled in horror at the image presented to her. The room was decorated with a
- typical but twisted Pinkie Pie flair. Colorful streamers of dried entrails fluttered around on the ceiling,
- brightly painted skulls of all sizes were attached to the walls, and organs done up in pastels filled with
- helium were tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chairs were made of bones and the preserved
- flesh of past ponies. Dash cringed upon seeing the center piece of the table nearest to her. The heads of
- four foals, their eyes closed as if they were sleeping, were wearing party hats made from their own skin.
- With a thrill of terror, Dash recognized one of them as Apple Bloom’s classmate Twist. Dash’s eyes
- darted back and forth and then fell upon a patchwork banner hanging from the rafters. Made from
- several tanned pony hides, the words “Life is a party” were scrawled on it in blood red.
- Dash’s attention was brought back by a party horn unfurling and tickling her nose. She gaped at
- Pinkie Pie, who was standing right in front of her. The party pony was wearing a dress quilted from dried
- skin, emblazoned with cutie marks. On her back fluttered six pegasus wings, all of different colors. As the
- earth pony skipped in excitement, her necklace of severed unicorn horns clacked together loudly.
- “Like it?” Pinkie asked. “I made it myself.”
- Desperately, Dash pleaded with the smiling pony before her. “Pinkie please, I’m sorry if I did
- anything to you. I didn’t mean it. Please let me go. I promise I won’t tell anybody.”
- “Oh Dash, you didn’t do anything. It’s just that your number came up and, well, I don’t make
- rules. We can’t turn back now.”
- Dash was tearing up. How could this be happening?
- “Aww, don’t be sad Dash,” said Pinkie. “Look, this’ll cheer you up. I brought you a friend.”
- Seemingly out of nowhere, Pinkie produced a brightly painted blue and yellow skull. It was about
- pony sized, but it had a very defining feature: a beak.
- Dash gaped in shock. “Is…is that….is…that?”
- “Hey, Dash lets hang together. These ponies are lame-os. Dweebs dweebs dweebs,” Pinkie
- mimicked. “I caught her right before she left town. Remember when I left the party for about twenty
- minutes? That wasn’t enough time to play with her of course; I had to wait till after the party to do that.
- But boy am I glad I did. It was worth it for the flavor alone. Griffons taste like two animals at once, it’s
- amazing. I know she didn’t have a number like everyone else in Ponyville, but when was I gonna get
- another chance to try griffon? I probably should have asked where she came from so I could have gotten
- more, but I forgot. I’ll tell you what though, she was quite the fighter. She lasted a long time, which was a
- lot of fun for me. I got the chance to play with somebody other than a pony and try new things. It’s too
- bad she had such a meanie mouth. She said so much bad stuff I just had to take her tongue out. You
- know, bad language makes for bad feelings, Rainbow Dash.”
- Dash didn’t have anything to say. She just sobbed and writhed in her tight bonds.
- “Well” said Pinkie with an air of finality, “that’s enough reminiscing. It’s time to begin.”
- Putting down Gilda’s skull, the pink pony gripped a scalpel in the cleft of her hoof and walked over
- to Dash’s right flank. Without any flair, Pinkie placed the blade an inch above Dash’s cutie mark and
- began a circular cut around it. Dash shouted in pain and tried desperately to pull away, but the braces held
- her still. Finishing the incision, Pinkie grabbed a curved skinning knife from the tray. Screwing up her face
- in concentration, she worked it under Dash’s skin and sliced the hide away from the muscle. Dash ground
- her teeth as she tearfully watched her flesh peel off. Pinkie then moved to the other side and repeated the
- process on Dash’s left flank. Once she had finished, Pinkie held up both cutie marks in front of her friend
- and started waving them like pompoms. Dash just whimpered. Her thighs burned like nothing she had felt
- before.
- Placing the ragged patches of skin down, Pinkie selected a large butcher knife and walked behind
- the blue pegasus. “Hope you don’t mind, I think I’m gonna wing it now,” Pinkie laughed. She grabbed
- Dash’s left wing in her mouth and played with it for a few seconds, yanking it back so the sharp pain
- reignited the fire in Dash’s flanks. Then, stretching the wing out, Pinkie brought the blade down hard at the
- base. Instantly, Dash screamed and thrashed her appendage. The movement threw off Pinkie’s aim. She
- tried to hit the mark again but missed, and carved a huge slice into Dash’s back.
- “Dash, you gotta stay still or I’ll keep missing,” scolded Pinkie as her friend howled.
- Pinkie took another whack and hit her target. She swung again and again. Blood sprayed into the
- air, but Pinkie realized she wasn’t getting anywhere. The blade just wasn’t going through the bone.
- “Hmm, I guess I forgot to sharpen it. I’ll try something else,” stated Pinkie matter-of-factly as she
- tossed the knife over her shoulder, embedding the blade in the table. Through the haze of pain and tears,
- Dash heard the sound of a metal box opening and closing.
- “Got it! Say Dash, why do they call it a hack saw? It doesn’t hack; hacking is what I was doing
- with the knife. This is a saw. I don’t get it.”
- Pinkie placed the tool over the mangled flesh of the last attempt. Standing on her hind legs, she
- worked the saw back and forth with her front hooves. It sliced effortlessly through the bone and skin. The
- feeling of the jagged teeth grinding into her made Dash want to vomit. She watched numbly as her wing
- flew over her head and landed with a fluff on the table. Pinkie moved to the next wing and started
- sawing. Dash didn’t struggle this time; she’d given up trying to fight and focused on choking back screams
- of agony. Abruptly, the sawing paused. Pinkie was only half way done, the wing hanging off by a sliver.
- “Hey Dash,” Pinkie piped up. “Think fast!”
- Suddenly, Pinkie yanked the wing as hard as she could. The bone snapped but the blue pony’s skin
- held, then tore away. The pull ripped away a long strip of flesh all the way down Dash’s back to her rump.
- Her body seized at the unexpected trauma. As her pelvis tensed up, Dash felt a warm release between
- her legs, and her loud, unending melody of pain filled the room. Unable to catch her breath, she blacked
- out.
- Dash awoke with a gasp. The stench of her urine filled her mucus caked nostrils. As her vision
- swam into focus, she saw a very pouty Pinkie Pie removing a large adrenaline needle from her chest.
- Stomping her hooves, the frustrated Pinkie lashed out at her helpless victim.
- “Didn’t anybody teach you any manners? It’s very rude to fall asleep when somebody invites you
- over to spend time with them. How would you like it if I came over to your house and went to sleep? ‘Oh
- I’m sorry Dash, you’re so boring I think I’ll take a nap.’ You think I like always doing this by myself? I
- told you how excited I got when I found you were next. I was excited to have a friend be here with me
- while I worked. But NOOOOO! You’ve got to be inconsiderate. You know, I thought you were tough. I
- thought you could handle anything. I’ve had foals stand up better than you! Do I have to baby you? Huh?
- Is that how you want me to remember you, as a baby?”
- As Pinkie stopped to catch her breath, Dash blinked and sobbed softly. Her back was in agony,
- her sides were on fire, and there was an intense pain in one of her legs. As she blinked again, she saw
- Pinkie pop something red into her mouth and began to chew. Noticing Dash’s stare, Pinkie quickly gulped
- the morsel down.
- “What?” Pinkie asked. “Oh, this?” She held up another piece. “Well, while YOU were asleep, I
- got a little impatient and helped myself to a small sample. I got it from your leg; you’re not bad. Wanna try
- some?”
- Without waiting for a response, Pinkie shoved the strip of meat into the revolted pegasus pony’s
- mouth. Dash gagged, and immediately spit it out. Pinkie frowned, and picked up the chunk of flesh. “If you
- didn’t want it, you could have said no.” She contemplated the discarded snotty morsel, then gulped it up.
- “It’s not like you haven’t had my cupcakes before.”
- Swallowing, Pinkie turned her attention to a small can on the tray. She removed the lid, revealing
- that it was filled with red-hot coals. Lying on top of the coals were several large nails. As the adrenalin
- filled her veins, Dash began to panic again. Picking up the can, Pinkie walked over to Dash’s left. Holding
- some tongs with her mouth, Pinkie carefully picked up a nail and positioned it at the seam between her
- victim’s front left leg and hoof. She then grabbed a hammer and took careful aim.
- “No Pinkie!” Dash screamed. “NO! NO!”
- The hammer came down and the nail punctured Dash’s skin. The white hot burning was too
- much. Dash screamed as she pulled and thrashed at the braces, causing her raw skin to rub and tear.
- Pinkie tried to line up another nail, but couldn’t find her aim, and let out a frustrated grunt. When Pinkie
- brought the hammer back to take a wild swing, Dash burst out crying and begging.
- “PLEASE STOP! PLEASE, PLEASE STOP!”
- Pinkie rolled her eyes. Putting down the hammer and tongs, she walked back in front of her
- friend and stared pensively at the broken pegasus. Gilda didn’t even cry this much when she had a live
- parasprite stuffed down her throat. Pinkie thought for a minute about what to do next, then had a sudden
- spark of inspiration.
- Rotating a wheel on the rack, Pinkie laid Dash on her back, then moved to Dash’s hind legs,
- bringing the can with her. Picking up her tools, Pinkie drove a searing hot spike of metal directly into the
- bottom of Dash’s hoof. As Dash yelled in pain, Pinkie moved around and drove a second nail into the
- other hoof. Next, Pinkie went back to her cart and located an enormous battery and controller, which she
- dragged over to where she was working. She tied copper wires between the terminals and the nails driven
- into Dash’s hooves, then gave Dash a wink and flipped the switch.
- Electricity rocketed through Dash’s body. The blue pony reacted immediately; her body seized,
- and her muscles snapped taut. Dash’s hips thrust skyward, her eyes rolled back, and she let out a deep,
- throat shredding cry. Pinkie giggled and danced in place, then reached down and turned up the juice. Dash
- convulsed uncontrollably, and her bladder emptied once more.
- After about five minutes, Pinkie shut off the power. Wisps of steam rose from the singed fur
- around Dash’s hooves, and the area reeked of cooked flesh and burnt enamel. Pinkie rotated Dash
- upright again and tried snap the drooling, delirious pony back to attention.
- “Dash? Dash! Rainbow Dash, wake up!” Dash moaned and managed to give a modicum of weak
- acknowledgment. Pinkie studied her handiwork, then reached into the medicine bag and produced a large
- syringe. “Alright, time for the last round.”
- Dash focused blearily on the needle, which Pinkie took as a question as to what it was.
- “This is a little something to take the pain away,” Pinkie informed Dash as she walked around to
- her victim’s ruined back. Dash flinched as Pinkie jabbed the needle into the lower part of the blue pony’s
- spine. Moving in front of her friend again, Pinkie leaned down and elaborated.
- “In a few minutes, you won’t be able to feel anything below your ribcage. Then you’ll be able to
- stay awake to watch the harvest.”
- Dash started to cry again. “Pinkie?” she choked out.
- “Yeah?”
- “I want to go home,” Dash sobbed.
- “Yeah, I can see wanting to do that,” replied the party pony. “Sometimes, I just wanna give up,
- just say ‘I’m done with this mess’ and go to bed. But you know what? You can’t shrug off your
- responsibilities. You got to pull yourself up and meet the challenges head on. That’s the only way you’re
- gonna get ahead in life.”
- Dash hung her head and cried.
- Minutes passed as the drug took effect. Eventually, Dash was completely numb from her chest to
- her flanks. At this point, Pinkie approached with a scalpel. Glancing at Dash and smiling, Pinkie made a
- long horizontal cut across the pegasus pony’s pelvis, just above her crotch. Moving up Dash’s body, Pinkie
- made a similar incision under her ribs. Finally, Pinkie made a long vertical cut down Dash’s stomach,
- connecting the first two.
- “Looks like I got my ‘I’ on you, Dash,” Pinkie giggled.
- With a moist, gooey sound, the flaps of skin opened. The sight of her own organs and the lack of
- feeling caused Dash’s breathing to intensify. Pinkie carefully sliced open Dash’s abdominal sac and
- grabbed her large intestines. As she separated the organ from the rest of the digestive tract and pulled it
- out of the new cavity, Pinkie grew jovial. Laughing as she gutted her friend, Pinkie began to make jokes.
- Dash, growing weaker from this new source of blood loss, tried desperately to shut out the macabre
- comedy act.
- “Look at me, I’m Rarity!” Pinkie laughed, slinging the intestinal tube around her neck and spraying
- blood in all directions. “Isn’t my new scarf soooo pretty?”
- Reaching back inside, she sliced the smaller intestine off from the bowls. Squeezing out the excess
- excrement, Pinkie filed the slimy organ through her teeth and dragged it back and forth. “Dentists say you
- gotta floss every day, Dash.”
- Dash was barely aware of what was going on anymore. The shock was causing her to fade.
- Disappointed, Pinkie dived back into the blue pony’s guts, ramping up her routine.
- “Aw, don’t go yet Dash.” Pinkie started pulling out the rest of Dash’s organs, pausing with each
- removal. “I know I can be a real pancreas, but you know I’m just kidney with you. You really got to learn
- to liver it up. Boy, these jokes are getting bladder. Guess ya gotta develop a stomach for them.”
- Pinkie placed the discarded body parts into a bucket, keeping the last one for bit longer. “Ooo,
- bagpipes.” she said, placing the end of Dash’s esophagus in her mouth and the stomach in her armpit. She
- squeezed, and a spurt of acid hit her tongue. “Eww! Oh hey look, there’s your cupcake, Dash!”
- Dash didn’t hear her tormentor. She had slipped from conciseness minutes ago. Pinkie, not yet
- satisfied, hit Dash with another adrenaline shot. Dash woke up for the last time, her heart pounding. Warm
- blood flowed out from the wound in her chest in great spurts. It wouldn’t be long now.
- Pinkie brought Dash around onto her back again and straddled the blue pony’s chest, scalpel at the
- ready.
- “Ya know, Rainbow Dash, I’m disappointed. I thought you would have lasted longer. I really
- wanted to spend more time with you before we got here. But I guess it’s my fault; I should have taken it a
- little slower. Oh well. It was really was nice knowing you, Dash!”
- The blade sunk into the blue throat and worked its way up to Dash’s chin. Coming back down,
- Pinkie’s scalpel then circled Dash’s neck. The last thing Rainbow Dash felt was her skin being cut away
- from her skull, and the metal of the blade scraping her teeth.
- Then she was gone.
- Pinkie Pie stared into the mirror. She had done a really good job, even keeping the eyelids. She
- winked, and Dash winked back. Pinkie smiled.
- But still, she was sad that her friend was now gone. Dash had only lasted fifty minutes, not nearly
- as long as Pinkie had wanted. She looked back at the cadaver hanging in the center of the room, the last
- of her friend’s fluids draining into a pan. Yup, no more Rainbow Dash.
- As she looked, Pinkie cocked her head. She began to take notice of the fact that there really
- wasn’t much damage to the corpse. “It fact,” the pink pony mused, “I think….” An idea exploded in her
- head. She was good at sewing and she had all the pieces, all she had to do was put them back together.
- Yeah, she just had to get some stuffing and bingo, she’d have Rainbow Dash forever. In fact, thought
- Pinkie, that’s what she’d do for all her best friends when their numbers came up. She was so excited, she
- skipped right over to the body with her skinner to get started. The cupcakes could wait; Pinkie Pie had a
- friend to make.
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