awake
im always awake
as the birds chirp
my mind struggles endlessly
between exhaustion and nightmare
like a game of tug of war.
perhaps im the rope
tightly coiled around either side's clenched fist
tearing away at the flesh.
i want to break free from their grasp
and be caressed into a beautiful knot,
strung up from a ceiling fan or support beam,
and have either side that once frayed my body
hang from the opposite end.
perhaps im not the rope
but instead what lies at either end.
for a support holds together a home,
while the dangling, lifeless body may tear it apart.
perhaps i long to be one or the other,
but right now,
id rather if i wasn't awake.