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Let’s Get Crackin’ on This Week! -
1 - Connecting Workbook!
Time to get back into action on the Social Dynamics. In the next 3 weeks we are
going to be using this workbook to dive DEEP into expression.
In this week’s video we are only looking at about 1/3 of the Connecting
Workbook, but give the whole thing a read. We will study it extensively. One
thing to remember is that at TSL we want to understand the Theory then Apply it.
In application we just want to get it functional.
So far we have been ‘Saying Hello’ and using our Attraction Skills to stimulate
conversation. Now we are going to start adding some ‘fancy stuff’. We are also
going to be adding some simple stuff too. This is why we are learning in this way,
to build to a point of pure expression. We are the only system of authenticity out
there that produces quality like no other because we teach the way we do.
Read and study this workbook!
2 - Week 6 Connecting Video -
Make sure you watch this week’s video. It is a bit long, but it will give you the
complete understanding of our view on Qualification, Rapport and how to have a
Dynamic Conversation.
Study it, take notes and prod your brain to start thinking of Rapport and
Qualification in this way. Remember you were born to be social. It is already in
you, you just need to get it out!
3 - Journal
Remember the journal? We haven’t brought it up in a few weeks, but by now you
have been having some social interactions. Also you’re exploring yourself
through other people, the TSL Dailies and your experiences. The best teacher is
always within you, remember the TSL Principle from the Anatomy of Attraction -
The Answer is Within.
Expressing is fond within, connection is from within and to be blunt a happy
social and sexual life is going to be manifested form who you are internally. All
the skill and results in the world can’t make an unhappy man happy. However
internal happiness and some skill…that’s the stuff… that is the experience you’ll
be living…that experience everyone is trying to sell you. That will be you!
Keep a journal, write about who you are and what you have experienced.
4 - Be Social Assignments - Old & New
• Say Hello
• Observational Statement or Ambiguous Question
• The Observer
• Getting Social Health
New BE Social Assignments -
Ex 1 - Identity Expressed -
Let’s break out our Identity Workbook. Remember that? What we need to do this week
look at what was the most enlightening part of it, and what was the hardest part of it?
Pick those two topics or categories and we are going to start applying them in our social
exercises.
Example -
Enlightening Discovery - I might find that my biggest insights were with my view on
Attraction. I discovered that sex was more than just sex. It was an interaction with my
entire self. This was amazing for me. I want to connect with women using my mind and
emotion as well as my body.
Not so Enlightening Discovery - I found that I still have blame and resentment
towards women and I think it comes from my previous relationship. I really think of
women poorly. I do not want to get emotional with them and I tend to objectify them.
Ok so we have our good insight and bad insight from the ID workbook. Now we need to
Express them!
However we want to express in a specific way.
• We want to share ourselves
• Build understanding
• Feel empowered
Our goal in this is to feel good about expressing ourselves and connecting. The idea
comes from ‘If people understand us they don’t judge us’. We covered that in the
Anatomy of Attraction Workbook.
This means if people get to know the deep and true side of us they don’t judge who we
are. Then we can truly connect with others.
This week we need to get active on this to start building connection and rapport!
Here’s what we do -
1 - Take the topic -
In my case it was, My views on Attraction & my Resentment towards Women.
2 - Writing out our Expression -
Attraction - “Hey I have a question about men and women…it has to do with how
people are attracted to on another. For instance I just did this workbook on selfexploration and I discovered that attraction and even sexual attraction for me is a fine
balance between emotional, mental and physical, but society always tells us it is all
physical.”
Resentment towards women - “Hey I have a question to ask you about relationships.
I was in a long relationship with a woman and it ended bad. I did this workbook on selfdiscovery and it made me realize that I was holding on to a lot of resentment. It makes
me feel bad, and we never want to be bad people, but I don’t want a relationship with
anyone, but I want to connect with women.”
3 - Communicating that Expression -
Our goal here is to take what we have written and communicate that to someone. It can
be anyone. Someone we know, a stranger or even someone we are attracted to.
However we don’t want advice or judgment. In terms of judgement we have the
solution, we communicate who we are better and have people understand us. Don’t
believe it, try it!
In terms of advice that is easy too, rather that just state your issue, ask them how your
issue has happened to them.
Here’s how I would do it with the examples above -
Attraction - “Hey I have a question about men and women…it has to do with how
people are attracted to on another. For instance I just did this workbook on selfexploration and I discovered that attraction and even sexual attraction for me is a fine
balance between emotional, mental and physical, but society always tells us it is all
physical.
What are your views on attraction? Do you think a balance between emotion, physical
and metal is important?”
Resentment towards women - “Hey I have a question to ask you about relationships.
I was in a long relationship with a woman and it ended bad. I did this workbook on selfdiscovery and it made me realize that I was holding on to a lot of resentment. It makes
me feel bad, and we never want to be bad people, but I don’t want a relationship with
anyone, but I want to connect with women.
Have you ever had a relationship with someone that made you just want to connect with
the opposite sex, but without emotional attachment?”
Now Do IT!
Find someone easy to talk to and ask them these things. We have got to get social to
Be Social! If we are going to be a socially healthy person, then we need to get active in
the way a socially healthy person would be. The result is, we have the right people in
our lives and the wrong people out. We are authentic, happy and confident.
Ex 2 - The Tipping Point of Rapport
• Unique Qualities
• Finding & Eliciting Values
• Stimulating a Decision
This week we learn that there are 3 things that will activate Rapport in our social
interaction. Basically if we do one of these 3 things it will up our chances to connect
heavily, if the potential to connect is there!
These are the Tipping Points of Rapport.
We need to find unique qualities about someone and move our conversations towards
that or we need to find and elicit their values and unique forms of communication, or we
need to stimulate a decision towards our interaction. All of these can be done or just
one, and it will make you connections happen faster. Much like anything we need to
work this muscle!
The Tipping Point Ex -
Have a conversation with someone daily. Hopefully you’re doing this. At the end of
the conversation or the end of the day take out a piece of paper and write about -
1) What was really unique about this person? Were they communicating in an
interesting way? Did they have unique views? What was special about them?
2) How could I communicate to that unique part of them?
3) What were their values? What do they really like and want in their life? What
sense about their values did I get?
4) How could I communicate to that value of them?
5) If I was going to be closer to them how would I be closer? Would they be a friend,
employee, boss, lover, girlfriend?
6) What decisions would they have to make to have that role be fulfilled?
Your goal and point in all of this is so that you can read people in conversation in a way
that will allow you to develop some amazing skills of rapport! No matter what your level
of socializing it is always good to reflect on these points.
Let’s DO IT!!!!
Steve