First Times For Everything (ch10)

EARLY RELEASE FOR MY $20+ PATRONS!

I know, I keep having Shadow-Weaver appear to ruin everything. I'm sorry. Sort of. Especially about expressing Adora's misguided affection toward her and having her believe it's a form of love. Anyways-

Disclaimer: I do not own She-Ra.

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													Chapter 10. Acts Of Defiance

Adora feels sick, and not just because of the pain in her stomach or the blood still dripping down her face.

This is a different kind of sickness, and it's much, much worse. She's felt it before, far too often.

She loves Shadow-Weaver – she truly does. But she fears her too.

And her least favorite thing in the world is when Shadow-Weaver appears at the worst possible times, which seemed to be her specialty.

Adora doesn't dare turn around to face her, because she doesn't want Shadow-Weaver to see the wounds; she knows that will only enrage her further, and all of that rage will be directed at one person in particular.

Catra trembles in front of Adora, tail bristling and ears lying flat. Her eyes are wide and nearly despondent with how much fear is in them.

Over time, she'd become more defiant, and was often able to hold her own against the sorceress. She'd even go so far as to argue with her or challenge her.

But there's no hopes of any of that happening now - not when Catra is already so scared and confused about what had just happened.

Adora longs to reach out for her hand, but she doesn't dare to move. She can only listen to Shadow-Weaver's dangerous drawl of a voice as she advances behind her.

"Commander. Clear this room immediately. I'd like to have a talk with those girls."

"Yes, Shadow-Weaver."

Adora hears the crowds disperse and disappear, until only the three of them remain. Catra remains petrified. Adora can see tears clinging to the corners of her eyes, but they don't fall.

She feels the sweep of robes as Shadow-Weaver comes up beside her and kneels gently. The long crooked fingers reach for her. They're soft on her, but Adora still flinches.

"My dearest Adora. What's happened to you?" Shadow-Weaver moves Adora's hand away from her cheek to reveal the scratches and the blood. Her eyes travel over the tears in her shirt as well. "I seem to remember something like this happening once before."

There's a hint of warning in her tone – a threat. She begins to turn toward Catra. Adora grits her teeth and tries to stop her.

"It was our exam!" she blurts. "Our exam to become senior cadets. We had to do whatever was necessary to score the points and win. Everyone got hurt in their matches. It wasn't just me..."

Shadow-Weaver turns back to her and cradles her face tenderly.

"Oh yes, but Adora. You see, this same incident has already happened once before. And I do believe I'd instructed not to let it happen again. And yet it has..." Her hand falls away from Adora's face, and the gentle fingers turn gnarled and sharp. Adora chokes.

"Wait-"

But Shadow-Weaver doesn't listen. She rounds on Catra, grabbing her by the throat, and lifts her as she stands.

"You." The sorceress holds Catra up high until her feet can't reach the floor. "Have I not warned you time and again not to let anything happen to Adora? That was your only purpose in staying by her side. And yet I find you are the one to cause her more injury than anything or anyone else."

Catra blinks to keep the tears at bay and feebly grabs onto Shadow-Weaver's arm.

"Back off..."

The sorceress howls.

"You dare challenge me, girl?" Her grip tightens as she lifts Catra higher, making her sputter. "I shall erase your memory as I see fit until you are no longer a threat to Adora."

A sickeningly familiar red glow begins to envelop her hands. She reaches for Catra with her crooked fingers, finally ready to make good on her threats. Catra hisses and tries to free herself, but the fear consumes her to the point of stillness. She closes her eyes, and the tears drip free.

Adora can't just sit by and watch. She won't. She unclasps her armor and lets it drop to the floor. She removes her hands from the wounds on her body and jumps to her feet, throwing both arms out as she gets between Shadow-Weaver and Catra as best she can.

"Stop it!"

Her cry has the sorceress pausing, because it wasn't just a plea this time. It was a command.

Adora stares into Shadow-Weaver's bleak white eyes without fear for consequence and doesn't flinch. Shadow-Weaver lowers her hand, but still keeps a firm hold on Catra.

"Adora, dear. Look at your face. She's mauled you."

"No, she hasn't." Adora holds her ground defiantly. "It'll heal. All of it will. The bleeding will stop and the skin will come back. But if you take away someone's memories, they'll never come back. And I won't let you do that to Catra."

Shadow-Weaver tries to keep her voice steady and free of outrage when addressing her.

"But Adora, my only intention is you keep you safe. I cannot allow her reckless actions to put you in harm's way-"

"I didn't ask for your help!" Adora shouts. "I don't need saving, Shadow-Weaver. Especially not from Catra! She's my best friend! She's all I have!" She gets ahold of herself and controls her volume, but she doesn't let her angry tone falter.

"She didn't hurt me on purpose. She would never. I knew the risks of going into that battle and I went in anyway. It was my decision. You can't punish her for that." Adora looks down to her hand, wet and red from where she'd been holding her cheek. She flicks some of the blood away and continues.

"I don't need you to protect me, Shadow-Weaver. I don't need you to baby me and decide what's good or bad for me. I don't need you coming to my rescue for things I don't need saving from. I appreciate that you raised me and took care of me as a child, but I don't appreciate how you keep threatening and hurting my friends."

She doesn't blink or waver as she gives a threat of her own:

"If you want to erase Catra's memories, you'll have to erase mine first. Now let her go. I'm not asking."

She isn't scared. Not of Shadow-Weaver. If she's scared of anything right now, it's that Catra is still in pain.

Adora glares furiously into the sorceress' eyes for a long moment. The mask makes her expression unreadable, so Adora has no idea what to expect.

But she certainly doesn't expect laughter.

It's a low, throaty chortle, bemused more than anything else. Shadow-Weaver sighs.

"Now that was impressive, Adora. That is what I've been waiting to see from you. Challenging authority without fear for your wellbeing is a vital trait of any good future Force Captain. I'm glad the day's finally come where you've learned to stand up and face me. So very well. You may both keep your memories. I look forward to seeing you pass the rest of your exam, Adora."

With this, Shadow-Weaver releases her grip on Catra. Catra crashes to the floor, hacking and coughing. Adora drops down beside her and puts an arm around her shaking back. When she next looks up, Shadow-Weaver's robes are vanishing into the dark hallways beyond.

Adora directs her full attention back to her sputtering partner.

"Catra? Catra? Are you... Are you okay?"

Catra has a hand to her throat, rubbing her sore neck and coughing some more. Tears keep falling and dripping into Adora's lap.

"Yeah-" Catra chokes. "I'm fine, Adora. I'm just great."

"Sorry..." Adora wraps her in a loose hug and sighs into her hair. "I'm sorry, Catra..."

"Shut up." Catra shoves her away and glares. "You didn't do anything. I'm the one who-" She looks up at Adora's bloodied face. The stains have run down the side of her neck and all over her shirt, which is also slightly torn from all the kicking. Catra coughs again and bows her head. "Shadow-Weaver's right. I keep... I keep doing this-"

"No, you shut up!" Adora snaps. "You did it out of self-defense. And besides, it's not even that bad. The bleeding has already stopped, see?" She wipes the rest of the dried blood from her hand onto her pants, then takes Catra's hand. "You can't let Shadow-Weaver get in your head anymore. She's been in mine for too long. I realize that now. I'm sorry it's taken me so long. She's been hurting you all this time and all I ever did was sit back and watch..."

Catra chokes again, coughing up a sob as her fingers dig into Adora's.

"Yeah... tell me about it..."

"I'm so sorry, Catra..."

Adora pulls Catra in gently as she cries now, clinging to Adora's back like the frightened child she'd been ten years earlier. Adora curls both hands over her shuddering back and holds her close.

But Catra doesn't let her stay near for long. Sniffling, she pushes Adora back, glancing at the dried blood on her shirt and face.

"Go get treated, you idiot."

"Huh? Oh... right..." Adora notes she'd smeared a bit of blood onto Catra's clothes as well. "Sorry about that. I'll go get cleaned up. Come with me, okay?"

"I don't need to-"

"Your arm, Catra."

Her injured arm is more or less limp at her side now. Catra grunts.

"It's fine. I don't need it treated."

"Then I guess I don't need my injuries treated either."

"You're so annoying."

With a soft growl, Catra pushes herself up to her feet. Adora staggers next to her, bumping against her side for support. Adora tries to reach for Catra's hand, but she's moved it out of range to grab onto her bruised wrist.

Together they limp to the infirmary, where the healer had already been notified of the situation. She cleans the blood from Adora's face, disinfects it, and patches it up with a bandage. She gives her a clean shirt to change into, then begins examining Catra's arm.

Catra typically hates the infirmary and won't stand to be treated "like a weakling," as she'd say. But this time she's too tired to protest. The most she can do is grunt and act begrudging when the healer gives her a bag of ice for her arm.

By the time Adora has changed and they are free to go, both girls feel the aching exhaustion weighing down on their limbs. They're silent as they traverse the hallways, unsure of whether or not they should return to the barracks to observe the rest of the fights, or simply retreat to the dorms to rest.

But before they can ask one another, a familiar person finds them.

"Ah, there you two are."

"Commander!" Adora says with a sharp salute that makes her wince. He chuckles.

"At ease, Cadet. No need for formalities. I came searching for you two so I could tell you to go get some rest. That was a very impressive fight."

Normally, both of them would be bursting at the seams to ask whether or not they'd passed, but as things are, they're both more tired than anything. He can tell, so he gives them their answer.

"I came to tell you that you both passed the first part of your exam. Adora, that was some excellent strategizing and use of your environment. And Catra, you demonstrated incredible speed, cunning, and strength. You both displayed the ruthless power and wit necessary to become fine Force Captains someday. You should be proud. Now get some rest. You've earned it." With this, he gives them a nod, then walks off.

And even in spite of everything else, Adora still has enough energy left to be a little excited.

"We... we passed, Catra! Both of us!" She slumps into her partner's side in her relief. "Oh, thank Hordak..."

Catra lowers her gaze, and doesn't look at her.

"Yeah. Congrats."

"Congrats to you, too," Adora says softly. "Aren't you happy?"

Catra doesn't look up.

"I just... wanna go to bed..."

Adora's heart sinks. She's tired too, but she'd at least hoped Catra would be a bit excited about passing their exam together. But she can't really blame her. She steps a little closer to her, letting their shoulders brush.

"Let's go get some supper."

But Catra shies away.

"You go. I'm going to bed."

"Catra-"

"Go."

Catra doesn't give her much of a choice. She turns away and starts limping off on her own.

The last thing Adora wants is to leave her alone right now when she knows Catra is feeling guilty for hurting her. But at the very least she wants to bring her some food and water.

So Adora hurries to the mess hall alone, and is surprised to be greeted by so many words of congratulations. Other cadets are there, even her seniors, who compliment her fighting. Adora smiles at their praise as she grabs a tray of food and munches away a quick supper.

But it hurts knowing Catra is receiving none of this praise like she deserves.

After about ten minutes of eating and talking, Adora excuses herself, blaming her need to leave on her soreness. She takes a tray of food back to the dorms for Catra.

It's still early, so the beds are empty. Even her own.

Adora places the tray down on the floor and scans the room a bit frantically.

"Catra? Are you here?"

Maybe she went for a walk to clear her head... No, she's in too much pain for that. Did she collapse somewhere on her way back? I never should have left her-

"Catra? Catra-?"

A raspy, tired voice cuts her off.

"Pipe down, would ya?"

Adora perks up and whirls around. She'd only ever known Catra to sleep down with her on the bottom bunk. Never in all their years together since obtaining bunk beds, has Catra opted to sleep on her own top mattress. Adora hadn't even considered to check there.

Now, her tone rises in relief.

"Catra!"

"I said be quiet," she sighs. "You're so loud, Adora."

"Oh, sorry."

Adora lowers her voice and steps closer to the beds. She can smell a faint scent of soap and assumes Catra had taken a brief bath beforehand. She peers up over the edge, but Catra has curled herself up into a ball in the middle of the mattress and Adora can only see her back.

She's quiet for a moment, hoping she'll say something, but when she doesn't, Adora feels the need to ask.

"So... what are you doing...?"

A grunt and a huff.

"What's it look like? I'm trying to sleep."

"I know, but... why up there?"

A pause.

"This is my bed, isn't it?"

Adora feels a pang go through her chest.

"Well, yeah, but-"

"So let me sleep then."

Adora is at a loss. She takes a step back and tries another method to get her down.

"I brought you some food."

"Thanks. Don't want it."

Adora sighs. She really should've known better. Maybe giving Catra a bit more time will help.

"Well, if you change your mind it's here. I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Enjoy."

The curt answers are typical of Catra when she's irked or tired or brooding, or all three. But this time Adora's more worried about her than usual. She's never slept on that other bed before.

Adora doesn't like it. She hopes that by the time she's out of the bathroom, Catra will have moved back down.

But once Adora has washed off the grime and sweat of the fight, dried her hair, and changed into more comfortable clothes, she returns to the dorms to find Catra hasn't budged an inch, and the food is untouched. She isn't sure which is more concerning.

She makes her way back to the bunks and tries to look up, but all she can see is the same unmoving bundle.

"Catra...?"

No answer - not even a grunt of response. Adora sighs and sits heavily down on her own bed. She lies down, forgetting all about the bandaged side of her face until she rests it against her pillow and winces. She has to turn onto her other side.

It feels so strange not having Catra's presence at the foot of her bed. Adora can't get comfortable without her.

Before long, the other cadets file in and get ready for bed. Everyone is discussing the one-on-one fights, and Adora hears hers and Catra's names mentioned several times. She isn't sure if Catra is asleep or listening, but something tells her it's the latter.

Adora can assume Catra is feeling just as miserable as she is right now, if not more. Probably more.

Adora just tries to drown all the voices out and go to sleep.

But it isn't all the noise and movement that prevents her from resting. It's her lack of companionship. She hates shifting her legs and not feeling Catra's weight there. She hates rolling over and not feeling her warmth.

By the time the room as fallen dark and quiet, Adora still hasn't fallen asleep. From what she can discern, Catra hasn't moved or made a sound, but she's definitely still awake too.

Adora waits a while longer, hoping Catra will eventually give up and jump down to join her.

But the longer she waits, the more difficult it is try and relax. In fact, every second she's lying here without Catra beside her is making her more and more anxious.

It takes her a long time to come to a certain realization; she doesn't have to expect Catra to do everything. There's nothing stopping Adora from going to her.

So Adora pushes her blankets off herself and slides off her mattress. She grabs hold of the ladder that leads to Catra's bunk and slowly beings climbing.

Right away, she hears Catra shifting, curling more tightly into a ball, and then a soft growl. Adora peers over the edge of the bed.

"Catra? It's me."

The growl edges into her partner's voice.

"Yeah, I know. What are you doing?"

Adora waits where she is, not wanting to encroach on her space too quickly, or at all if Catra doesn't want it.

"I just thought you could use some company..."

Catra is silent for a moment. Adora can just barely make out the glint of her eyes and the swishing of her tail in the darkness. Then, a huff.

"Speak for yourself."

Adora offers a tiny smile and begins pulling herself up onto the bed. Catra hardly moves to make room for her, but at least she isn't pushing her off.

Adora decides to sleep her way for a change. She grabs the blanket to drape over them both a little, but instead of lying down like she normally does, she curls up like Catra instead. Pressing her chest against her partner's back, Adora encircles both arms around Catra's stomach and pulls her close.

It feels a little weird sleeping halfway down the bed and in such an odd position, but it isn't bad.

Catra makes a few grunts of protest here and there, but eventually she grows quiet and accepts the fact that she won't be sleeping alone tonight.

Not that she'd ever really wanted to. But Adora knows she'd felt like she'd deserved it.

Adora can't see her friend's expression since she's behind her, but she can tell exactly how Catra is feeling based off the rest of her body. Her tapping tail eventually stills and lays limply back across Adora's side, and the tension drains from her muscles.

Adora moves one of her hands up to touch Catra's bruised arm, running her fingertips very gently over her skin. And even though Catra doesn't even let half a breath's worth of a purr slip all the while, Adora's just glad she isn't chasing her off.

She presses up to her back more closely and hugs her a little tighter. Catra doesn't budge. Adora can feel that her partner's breathing is stiff and uncomfortable, as though there's so much weighing on her mind she can't relax even if she wants to. Adora buries her face into Catra's mane of hair and speaks softly.

"Hey, we both passed today. That's pretty great. Actually, that's really great. Now we're one step closer to becoming Force Captains together."

It takes a moment, but Catra eventually offers a half-hearted reply.

"Yeah..."

"...Catra-"

"Enough, Adora. Just go to bed."

Catra shuts her down, and Adora can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing. If Catra accepted everything that had happened today and just wanted to sleep, Adora would gladly let her.

But some part of her feels it's not that. Catra is just too upset to talk about it right now. The last thing Adora wants is for that misery to mount and fester inside of her until it breaks her.

She hugs Catra again and tries one last time.

"Catra, please-"

"Goodnight, Adora."

Adora has never wanted to push or pressure her, and she isn't going to start now. She just sighs and curls around her as best she can.

"Night, Catra."

And it's about to be the longest night of their lives.

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A/N: It was so satisfying to write Adora standing up to Shadow-Weaver. I hope one day she does it in canon and gives her a good punch...