i wanna tell you
about my dream last night
so
i decide
im gonna go to cali
and i get in this van
and head west
down the highway
im cruising along
but getting kinda bored of driving
so i put it into auto pilot
and go chill in the back of the van
anyway while im chilling back there
i notice theres a bunch of military planes in the sky
big ones
like blimps
big top secret blimps
developed by the military
im like woah wtf
checking em out from the window
then i see this jet
flying in
super low
and its transporting a cop car
under the belly of the jet
and it comes screaming in over the highway
gets real low
and drops the cop car off on the raod
and keeps on flying by
i was like DAMN
i think i said that in my dream
and cop car goes speeding off
so im thinking
cop cars, jets, blimps
some shits about to go down
maybe i should take the auto pilot off
and i get up to the front and start manually driving again
but the road ahead is completely jammed
piles of cars all held up by something
so im waiting there watching the blimps fly around
and they crash into each other
and come down on the highway ahead of me
so i get out of my van and go running up to check out the scene
there was like a crowd there
but something seemed off about em
like something wasnt right
and in the middle of the crowd there was one distinct guy who stood out that everyone seemed to be eye balling
so i go talk to him
he introduces himself
gives me this really firm handshake
like intimidating almost
and hes with some girl
shes super hot
i guess it was his girlfriend but she seemed worried
so i introduce myself to her too
but instead of a handshake i give her a hug
she grabs on tight like shes afraid of something but shes putting on some fake smile
and i start to notice
everyone seems to be afraid of this guy
im still hugging his girl cuz well shes super hot and its my fkn dream okay?!!?
the guy comes over and is like OKAY THATS ENOUGH
so we break it up
and he starts telling me about how thats his girl
and shes like YEP IM HIS GIRL ALL RIGHT........
but she had this tone like she didnt mean what she was saying
like she was only saying that because she was afraid of him
so im like oh okay, howd u two meet?
and the guy starts telling me about how they lived together
and hes like WELL SHUCKS
WE'RE ALREADY LIVING TOGETHER, WE MIGHT AS WELL BE DATING!!
SO WE DECIDED TO START DATING
and im thinking
wow this guy must be a creep
hes intimidating everyone
and this girl obviously dont wanan be with him
then i start to realize
all those military planes that were flying around
were after him
cuz hes like some fkn space alien or something
i confront him on it
HEY YOU
ARE YOU SOME KIND OF SPACE ALIEN ???
and hes like
YOU GOT ME!
and he transforms into this giant squid like thing
meanwhile his girl is sitting there like trying to talk me down and just go along with w/e he says
and this squid is going fkn nuts
all these tentacles come out
and start grabbing people
and cars
and these military vehicles start rolling up
and he grabs them too
the crowd starts running
so im like alright ive had enough of this guy, im going back to my van
so i run back over there
and theres this group of people hiding in the back of my van
im like listen ahles, im not taking this van to safety...
IM TAKING THIS VAN INTO BATTLE
if you fkrs want out, get out now cuz im not stopping
i think they were all too shocked to do anything
that or they didnt speak english
cuz they just sat there eyes wide open
too scared to move
so im like alright w/e i guess ur coming with me
so i fire up my van and go down to get the attention of that ahle tentacle guy
he sees me
and hes pretty pissed at me for coming on to his girl
so he starts chasing my van
and i keep cruising down the highway with him chasing me
im like you know what sounds nice?
i could go for a drink right now
so i put the van on autopilot
to cali
and go to the back of the van
and have a drink with the scared possibly mexicans
and chill until we get to cali
see i had a plan
i knew that vito lives in cali
and he has the power to consume anything and everything he touches if he wants to
and once it belongs to him
he does what he wants with it
so im thinking ill just lead this ahle tentacle guy to vito and he'll destroy it
so i drive into cali with this ahle guy still chasing me
he must have been pretty upset about me hugging his girl and all
cuz he chased me for an entire state
i get up to vitos apartment
getting ready to tell him to go destroy this ahle tentacle guy
and hes not home
so im like awww rats
oh well
guess ill just have to wait until vito gets back
this tentacles guy is trying to kill me and the military is going crazy trying to fight it off
and im chilling in vitos apartment
i notice his cat looks hungry
so i feed his cat
anyway i think i got bored in my dream at this point
cuz i woke up
i got bored cuz i already knew how it ended
vito eventually comes home
kills the ahle tentacle guy
i steal his hot bobo
and the scared maybe mexicans turn into hobos and live in my van for the rest of their life too afraid to ever step outside of the van again
the end