Planescape: Equestria 3

>You’re still working on processing Princess Celestia’s message when Twilight’s bright, enquiring voice cuts through your reverie.
“So… do you want to reply?”
>Judging by the look of suppressed eagerness on her face and the way her ears are twitching, she’s working really hard at not asking any nosy questions about what was in the message.
>Her effort at politeness is somewhat compromised by the way that Pinkie Pie is bouncing up and down, trying to get a look at the letter in your hand.
“So what was in the letter Anony? Was it exciting? Was it a love letter? Can I see it? Huh? Huh?”
>You hold the letter out and she takes it between her teeth in mid bounce with a muffled squeak of excitement.
“No need to reply,” you tell Twilight, who looks a bit shocked that you just gave the letter to Pinkie. “It’s an invitation to accompany you back to Equestria.”
“Oh!” Twilight blinks. “And… will you accept?”
“I wonder.” You lean back in your chair and gaze up at the ceiling for a moment, then back down to meet the gaze of the six brightly coloured ponies, and one pet dragon, who are all looking expectantly at you.
>You exhale slowly. After all, what choice do you have? You’re out of options, out of rope, out of friends.
>And after all, this Equestria place is probably a pleasant enough plane to keep a low profile for a while.
>Just look at these cute fucking ponies, it’s obviously impossible that their homeland isn’t a nice place.

“Yeah, I reckon I will.”
“Oh, gosh!” Pinkie Pie squeals, resuming her bouncing at redoubled velocity. "You’re coming to Equestria? That’s so absolutely super amazing! We’ve never had anyp0ny, I mean, anyONE like you in Equestria before! We’ll have to have a super-duper-looper HUGE ‘welcome to Equestria’ party! And we’ll have to show you all the sights, and you’ll have to try all our local food like CAKES-"
“An’ apples!” Applejack puts in. “Apple pie, apple fritters, apple tarts, apple muffins, stewed apples, baked apples, apple turnovers, apple jelly, apple dumplings, an’ my brand new special apple surprise!”
“And we simply must compare notes on fashion,” Rarity takes up as soon as Applejack finishes. “Your people have such fascinating ideas, I simply adore the fine stitching on your jacket sleeves there. And the shoes! So many different kinds of shoes, I’d never imagined! I mean we have shoes in Equestria, of course we do, but only as accessories - and I suppose that when you need to wear shoes just to walk around outside without hurting your hooves, I mean your feet, you have a lot more incentive to think about different ways of making them fabulous…”
“Not just fashion!” Twilight says with a dismissive tone that earns her a dirty look from Rarity. “It will be an amazing chance to learn all kinds of things about human culture and history and magic and, and everything! This is incredible, I’m going to need to clear my schedule and focus on this for as long as we have you – um, I mean, for as long as you decide to stay,” she finishes with a meek blush.

“Pfffyeah right,” Rainbow Dash says. “'Cuz Anonymous is really gonna want to sit around in some musty library all day every day talking ancient history while you use up Equestria’s ink supply taking notes. Come on! Anon, if she lets you out in the sunshine once in a while then come find me and I guess we can hang out. If you’re lucky, the Wonderbolts will do a show while you’re in Equestria. Now THAT’S something worth seeing.”
>Everybody seems to have said their piece.
>Wait, weren’t there six ponies?
>Everyp0ny’s looking at Fluttershy, who is nervously scratching at her chair with the tip of one hoof and not meeting anyone’s eye.
>She looks up for a moment and then swiftly back down, blushing.
”Um… I guess… if Anonymous likes animals, maybe I could introduce him to some of Equestria’s fauna? Maybe. I mean, if he wants…”
>You grin.
“Okay, but you’re all going to need to wait until your princess is finished with me. So where’s the portal to Equestria?”
“It’s between the hooves of that giant pony statue in the Clerk’s Ward.”
“Giant… pony statue? Oh. Oh, right, THAT giant pony statue. It’s not really a pony, it’s a Nic’Epona. More like a horse than a pony. An intelligent, magical horse.”
>The ponies all regard you a bit strangely.
“That… sounds like a pony,” Twilight says flatly.
“… now that you mention it. My apologies. Well, that’s a ways from here, but I know a portal that can get us there pretty sharpish. Shall we be off? If you ladies have finished your drinks.”
>You settle your tab, and soon you’re all on your way through the streets of the Lady’s Ward.

>As distracted as you are by the sudden turn that events have taken, you still take note of the bladeling who was sitting by – the one that Pinkie christened Pikey – as he slips from his seat and makes for the doorway not far behind you.
>Could mean trouble.
>But, hells, you’re planning on getting straight out of the city anyway. Chances are that whatever that basher has planned, you’ll be gone before it happens.
>It’s late, but there are still plenty of people out and about. Sigil doesn’t sleep.
>The Lady’s Ward is the fanciest and most expensive district of Sigil, so most of the passers-by are the upper crust, fashionable and well-to-do.
>Rarity can hardly contain her glee at all the extravagant and exotic fashions parading by, and all the other ponies seem almost as excited by the strange surroundings.
>All except Fluttershy, who looks terrified – but you’re working on the assumption that’s probably normal.
>Spike is slumped forward on Twilight’s neck, snoozing peacefully.
>You point out various points of interest along the way, sometimes dropping in a funny anecdote or a story from the city’s history.
>It’s nice to have somebody – or somep0ny – to show around. Their sense of wonder is kind of infectious, even for a jaded asshole like yourself.
>You bring them to a halt in front of the archway of iron fretwork that leads into a small park.
>A great bushy green shrub is growing up and through the railings, erupting with fragrant blue flowers the size of your palm.
>For the first time, Fluttershy seems to be drawn out of herself.
“Oh my goodness, look at these flowers! They’re just beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like this plant in Equestria. Do you think it would be all right if I took some seeds for my garden? Would anyone mind?”

>You shake your head with an indulgent smile.
“I’m sure it’d be fine. Also, you’re going to need one of these.”
>You produce a knife from one of your boots (you can never have too many knives) and cut one of the blooms from its stem.
>You kneel down and, with an exaggerated romantic gesture, brush the mane back from one of Fluttershy’s ears and slip the flower’s stem behind her ear, ensuring that it’s secure before pulling back to admire your handiwork.
>Fluttershy looks adorable, particularly because she’s blushing madly.
“Oh hey, don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not being gallant or anything,” you say with a big grin. “Everybody needs one to get through the portal to where we’re going.”
>You cut more flowers, handing one to each of the remaining ponies and keeping one for yourself.
>Most of the ponies are content to just take the flower and hold it in their teeth but Rarity makes a point of inclining her head to you with a coy smile, obviously demanding the same treatment as Fluttershy.
>You oblige like a gentleman. The pale blue of the flower shades nicely with her eyes and the mark on her flank – it looks very pretty, a fact which clearly isn't lost on her as she smiles her thanks at you and bats her eyelashes.
>Spike is still asleep, snoring softly, so you prop his flower up in his open mouth.
>It lolls about a bit but stays upright and doesn’t seem in danger of slipping down his throat, so you call it a job well done.
>Twilight is watching you over her shoulder with an expression somewhere between amusement and bafflement.
“All set?” You do a check and see that everyp0ny has their flower. “Lovely. Follow me then.”

>You stride through the archway that leads into the park, and as you approach it your flower starts to glow with a soft luminescence that is answered by a shimmering in the air of the archway.
>As you step through the archway the shimmering briefly flares into a swirling vortex of light.
>When you can see again, you’re in a whole different street on the other side of the city, and your flower is gone.
>The ponies all appear after you, one after another. Spike is still on Twilight’s back, now flowerless. He slept through the whole thing.
>Fluttershy looks a bit disappointed by the loss of her flower, but she cheers up when you hand her some seed pods that you took while you were gathering the blossoms.
 “So, there’s where we’re headed,” you say, pointing to where the head of a giant horse – or pony – rears high over the surrounding buildings, visible from where you stand although you’re still a few blocks away.
“Yep,” Twilight says happily, “that looks like where we came in all right. So just how many of these portals are there? I hadn’t imagined that there could even be portals that just act like shortcuts from one part of the city to another.”
“Oh, sure,” you say. “There are all kinds of portals, from ones that just go down the street to ones that go all the way across the Great Ring.”
>She looks blank.
“The Outer Planes?”
>Still nothing.
“…the multiverse. Everything. Infinity.”
“Oh, okay,” she nods, but she seems hesitant, as if she’s having trouble processing something. “So wait… the ‘multiverse’ – is a ring?”
“… sort of. It’s complicated. It can be convenient to think of it that way, but if it really is a ring, you’re always at the centre of it.”
“I am?”
“Everyone is.”
“…what.”
>You half-sigh, half-chuckle. Explaining things to Twilight’s satisfaction might take some time.

“Booooo-ring,” comes the judgement from Rainbow Dash. “Who’re those guys in the cool spiky armour down the street there?”
“Mercykillers, they’re called. Bounty hunters, jailors, executioners. Lovely chaps.”
“For real?”
“Nope.”
>Wait a minute.
>Mercykillers.
>Mercykillers are the other reason why you haven’t shown your face in Sigil for a while, and these ones seem to be taking an interest in you as you approach.
>A pointed interest. As in, they’re drawing their weapons.
>And pointing them at you.
>You groan inwardly as you realise that somebody must have tipped them off – and then you hear the heavy footsteps behind you, and look around to see the bladeling from the Fortune’s Wheel sprinting down the street to catch you up, sword drawn in his hand.
“Sir! Reporting for duty,” he calls out over your head to the captain of the Mercykillers.
>Well, that figures. He must have sent warning ahead as soon as you said where you were going, and then followed you here.
“Anonymous! Give yourself up and face justice for your crimes,” comes the booming voice of the Mercykiller captain.
“Girls? You might want to get out of here,” you murmur to the ponies. “If I’m not mistaken, these gents don’t have any quarrel with you. You’d better get on home.”

>Rainbow Dash and Applejack yell over each other in their haste to refuse.
“Are you kidding me?”
“Horseapples! We ain’t goin’ no place.”
“Right!” Twilight declares. “The Princess would never have invited you if you had really committed any crimes, so these people have no right to arrest you.  She’s counting on us to bring you, and you can’t get through the portal without us.”
“Plus! We’re friends now,” says Pinkie. “And it’s not very nice to run away when your friends are in trouble.”
“Quite so,” Rarity says. “And what sort of pony would just turn tail and run in the face of such uncouth ruffians?”
>Fluttershy gives a muted “eep” noise, but she stands at your side with the rest of them.
>Spike is still asleep.
>You give a sigh of exasperation. This is going to be hairy enough without having to worry about the safety of a bunch of helpless ponies.
>They seem determined to ‘help’, though.
>Better just resign yourself to it.
“Criminal, you have until the count of three to surrender any weapons you are carrying and give yourself over into our custody. One. Two. -”
>You palm a knife, and spring into action.