Meticulous Moth Magnanerie Magnality

Sylvia's Clothing menu's Back still puts you into her Talk menu.

>You’re not sure that it’s completely safe around here, but it dawns on you that you haven’t heard or seen any other signs of life on your trip. It seems the forest knows to stay away from the moth.
While not wrong, straight up calling it just "forest" carries implications of the actual Forest zone.

Can you encounter Sylvia in the Bog still after you have the Moth Cave location? It would make sense if you still encountered her very rarely. It could also be some additional content that way.

Would a "Maybe Later" choice be a bad idea for having children with her? Does the option when you decline let you revert the choice later on?

The Accept and Decline for attunement could have extra flavor with some tooltips. These aren't necessary, but would add to the scene itself.

After you accept attunement, the Leave button is in slot 5 instead of 14.

>You can’t quite see her—but then again you can’t exactly see anything right now—but you’re able to form some kind of indistinct impression of her. You’re not sure if this is just a hallucination, but it almost seems like she takes on color—a violent, regal purple in a pool of impenetrable black.
That "violent" is probably meant to be "violet". Found another instance where you called Dolores' eyes "violently violet", so not a typo.

Reverse cowgirl right after the attunement.
>She pushes you, and you stumble backwards onto your ass.
I'm fairly sure I was still laying down on her bed with her laying next to me.

>All of the different sensations assaulting you edge you on until you’re hanging by a thread.
That's a lot of consecutive (you)'s.

>But now, with you, I know I’m exactly where I need to be. I can never thank you enough for that.”Her quiet words slowly calm your troubled heart.
I need some space.

The second Spend Time option should have tooltips to elaborate on what the choices entail entail. “Do you have any idea what your life will be like a year from now?” and choosing Kingdom doesn't really explain what the choice does, and some others are vague as well.

>“My mother taught me everything I know. When she died, I felt lost for a long time. This place is so ugly. Nothing here is nice, or clean, or... bright. That’s why when I saw you, I just knew.”
"This place" can also mean her cave when this talk happens there, which is not what she means I assume, the real subject being the bog.

It's slightly disappointing that there doesn't seem to be a physical progression of pregnancy. It's one of those things that shakes up the usual dynamic and offers the possibility of different scenes and a look into her as a character and how she deals with situations.

>but it seems like she gets the jist of it,
https://files.catbox.moe/1ro1g0.mp4

The It's Okay option is really well done. It really nails the feeling of having a positive influence on her growth and feels like it has weight to it, a mark a lot of writing often misses. It's a perfect example of what I'd love to see more of and I hope this gets emulated further into the moth writing again.

>Your young daughter is sitting on her bed, an old book in her hands. As you enter the room, she perks up, meeting your gaze briefly before mumbling out a, “Hello, Father,” and returning her attention to reading.
Any chance to ask her what she's reading? The old book most likely is the problematic spell tome, so this is the perfect moment to set that up.

>Not at all, but it certainly is surprising
Dolores can't have her period yet, but don't deny me of this one.

The Leave button next to Show Her and Book? doesn't have a tooltip, leaving out a perfectly good opportunity to telegraph breaking your daughter's spirit after she just tried to open up to you.

>After all, she’s developing quite interest in books.
That's a quite interest choice of words.

Before she has the chance to put all her reading about magic into practice, it would be a delightful moment of father-daughter bonding to try and teach her the very basics yourself, maybe the blinding light on a small scale. Such a scene would allow for talking, bonding, and the stereotypical taking her hands into yours from behind and guiding them to properly show how it's done. It's also possible to study it together if you know nothing about magic and have a white book on you or something along those lines. I'm not sure which choices are tracked and how much she changes because of them, but this is one of those things her demeanor to you could vary wildly and afterwards get closer to you if tracked.

Let Her and Stop Her are two choices of importance, they should have tooltips even if only for flavor text.
There could be a third option, which is to reprimand her by taking the book away from her for doing something dangerous, but having the option to return it to her later in her Talk menu. If you don't give it back to her, it just plays out like the Stop Her option where she takes it back herself anyway. It would be the decent parenting option where you can punish her but not try to crush her curiosity. You could also have scenes where you try and teach her how to safely practice magic in one of the many empty rooms in her home instead of having to run away for solitude. Things like this offer a deeper insight into Dolores' motivation and personality while progressing the plot of her eventually summoning shit forth without it coming out of the left field, but it still happening if she self-studies magic.
Overall, I feel like a dumbass when playing this scene because I want to teach her about precautions and safety when practicing magic. Let Her keep the book is being a grade A moron and is akin to just handing a child a loaded gun when you can tell this is some ancient voodoo shit, while Stop Her is being an awful parent who doesn't care about what their child is interested.





═══════════════PART 2═══════════════

>You kiss your daughter on the forehead and wish her well before heading on your way, thoughts of her keeping you occupied on the trek back through the bog.
While it is the usual resolution to get back to camp right away after something, it feels forced in this situation. I'd much rather wait for a whole day if need be for Sylvia to hear how it went and be there for her as well than to just go back home and leave her all alone. It's a huge milestone in your daughter's life, but that also goes for Sylvia, and the scene after this really shows it “It really is extraordinary. There was a time... after my mother died... when I thought I might be the last one of my kind, ever. Sharing this with you... you will never know how much this means to me.”. I don't know how moths cocoon, but the scene that happens after this when you first enter the moth cave again would slightly clash in tone if it the cocoon was previously finished by the time she steps out of her room with Sylvia here wanting to show Dolores off right away.

>You see Sylvia at the back of the room, and Dolores is probably in her own, if you’d like to see her.
It says this right after it told me she sat down with me after the previously mentioned scene.

The scene that happens upon you not going to the moth cave for a prolonged amount of time triggered after I pressed the Sylvia button. This was right after the previous two points and without leaving from the second point.

>You apologize and proceed to vacate the room with Sylvia in order to let Dolores clean herself up.
There's not a word on what Sylvia does during all this while she is right by your side. It's not a real problem, but since you enter and leave the room together, a word or two about her and the situation would add to the moment.

>As she buzzes over to you, you realize that it’s silk—it must be the remnants of the cocoon. “Here you go,” Sylvia says. “This is yours to do with as you wish.”
After finishing the scene, it's actually funny that this is the only thing she contributes. She just has you take out the garbage like a good husband should, what an immersion. Am I correct that this scene overall was a bit rushed?

Sylvia's Talk options have tooltips while Dolores doesn't.

I'm fairly sure that it was brought up in the thread before and acknowledged by you, but I'll write it down for posterity nonetheless. Sylvia not having any talking points on her daughter is a glaring oversight. There are many things you two can and should be talking about her, her growth, lack of talking, her not eating her veggies and you having to have a stern talk with her, etc. (As an example, it was always odd how Helia never had any about Helspawn either. Granted that Helspawn's growth is really rushed and has no interactions whatsoever).

In the moth cave main menu, Sylvia, Dolores, and Tapestries have no tooltips while Read does.

The Offer2Stay button can fit being renamed without being resized to "OfferToStay", or "Offer To Stay" with some resizing.

Coming to the moth cave after Dolores' wing growth scene, the only thing that seems to change is her Appearance. Depending on how much gets tracked on how much you support or did for her, she could come up to you, drag you to her room, and show you her wings.

The Explanation button should be grayed out after use instead of removed.

>With weary satisfaction, you set off, though you are still worried about how Dolores will take all this.
Did everyone just leave that dumb fucking book and ritual equipment there? The next scene it's on the table in the moth cave, did Sylvia retrieve it afterwards? Was the ritual so it could sprout legs and become a real boy?

There is no bolded messaged for obtaining the book. Although it might be weird for the scene if something so serious has a gameplay mechanic message thrust into it.

>Magic is the one thing I find truly beautiful in this wretched world, and it seems to love me just as much.
Ow, the edge. I'm bet she can conjure up razor blades.

>“One day... One day, I will taste it again, on my own terms.
About as much chance as this has a closing quotation.

>I... Yes. I am ready. It’s... I love you, Father, and I know how much I mean to you.
That last sentence makes it sound like she's doing this for the player. If that's the case, disregard this, but otherwise it sounds a bit rapey despite the option being to make sure she's alright with it and that SHE wants it as well. The willing peck she gives you helps, but being a bit less ambiguous about whether she actually wants this or not might help. As a side note, is she actually attracted to the player? Can she see you in that way after she opens up to it? Will this all answer itself as I go through the other options? Will I forget to go back to this point if it does? I can only give the definitive answer of "no" to the last one.

>You think you see some shadow of pain behind her eyes, but you can’t quite identify its source. And in any case, it’s soon gone, replaced by her usual confidence with no trace remaining.
A lot of early stage sexual relations with Dolores is starting to give me abusive vibes, from both Sylvia and Dolores. It's emphasized by the sexual scenes having an emphasis on the player with little how Dolores feels in them.

If it's intentional and she actually really doesn't like you or wants to like you that way and isn't just awkward about it, maybe a Love or You option to have her tell you how she thinks about you to mirror the more scumbag and direct Sex option. At least that way you can make sure how she actually feels without pressuring her into anything, give her some time to think things over, that sort of stuff.

>She blushes, but doesn’t pull away ,
Spacing.





═══════════════PART 3═══════════════

>And anyway, there’s something nice about the young moth and her mother enjoying each other’s company like this. You can tell that, despite Dolores’s outward coldness, the two actually do share a special bond. The way they talk, the way they look at each other, the sense of respect between them, it all seems so... wholesome.
Maybe I haven't been paying enough attention, but this doesn't reflect how many earlier scenes portray her feelings on her mother. The talk scene about Sylvia changed to reflect this, but many early scenes have her dislike her mother greatly for not understanding her and being very different from each other without many that show them naturally closing that rift between them via mutual understand and respect as mentioned here.

>“Would you show me around?”
>Show her around? Isn’t this her home?
Really coming into the role of her dad here.

>Well, it’s certainly been eventful showing her all of the sights to see around here.
I only have Izma on this save which is the only person/thing she interacted with besides the rock art, I wouldn't really call that eventful. I did have three harpy daughters on this save, but that scene didn't seem to trigger.

The Done button should be moved to be next to Rest.

>“I’m Telly, I sell toys and treats! I love all my customers just the same, so pick out whatever your heart desires! As long as you can pay for it.”
It feels too on the nose for her, you might be channeling Satan instead of Telly. I don't actually thinks she ever mentions money unless you're buying something. The only other times she mentions money is when talking about buying supplies from the kanga settlement, making enough to paint her wagon, and making enough to not get kicked out of the bazaar.

>“Alright, the first one was free, but if you want any more, it’s gonna cost ya,”
(((JUDAISM INTENSIFIES)))

There seems to be no option to continue HikkiQuest if you take a temporary pause.

>Somewhat worried by her trance-like state, you ask her if she liked it. She stays in her stupor for a few more moments before blinking and then looking at you as if she’s just now realizing where she is. “Uh... what?” You repeat the question. “Ah! Yes, um... It was... unprecedented.” You’ll take that as a compliment. Dolores looks like she could use some rest after that, so you tuck her in properly, give her a kiss on the forehead, and then go on your way, somewhat exhausted yourself.
Since this is the "default" and most basic sex scene with her, perhaps one of her characteristic facade cracks where she smiles briefly before quickly going back to expressionless would add a more friendly tone to the ending of it. "She suddenly smiles warmly at you, and her expression just as quickly returns to normal." or whatever.