Anonpencil Writes Drunk: I'm Game For Anything (Oneshit)

~*~

>It's a lovely morning to stay in bed.

>Well, at least it would be, if Twilight wasn't physically dragging you out of your bed and down the stairs of the castle with her magic. It's all so abrupt that you can't even make out what she's saying beyond the sudden rhythmic "BUMP. BUMP. BUMP" of your head hitting each individual step. At last you wake up enough to raise yourself a little within the purple glow to get a handle on what the fuck is happening.

"Wait, wait, HOLD THE FUCK UP!" you cry, and Twilight stops. "What's this about a... a game?"

>Twilight lets out an exasperated sigh and rolls her eyes.

"Yes, that's what I was saying. I made a compute game, and I want you to try it out!"

>Never mind that you've only seen Twilight use her computer for science experiments before, the idea of her making a game is... a little terrifying. You imagine some Jumanji shit... then get the idea that she's done something like that before. It's as if it happened in another life or something.

>Anyway, you resist against her pulling and scowl at the pony now waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hold on," you growl, "who said I would test it? Bet it sucks ass anyway."

>Another exasperated sigh.

"Anon," she says curtly, "it's either you play my game or I find something else to do with my time. Do you really want me to find something else to do with my time?"

>It doesn't take more than a moment for you to shake your head 'No' to that.

"That's what I though," she continues. "So, just come sit down, give it a play, and let me know what you think!"

>Before you can say another word, she drags you the rest of the way down the stairs with many a bump and bruise, until you reach the living room. She's set up a very very old looking computer there, and you eye it warily, like it might leap out and bite you at any moment. For all you know, and based on past experiences, it actually might.

"Tah-dah!" she announces proudly, "My first game! I call it Pony Dungeon Generator!"

>You immediately recoil from the computer, and she gives you a withering look.

"Not that kind of dungeon, dumbass. It's a text based game, like Ogres and Oubliettes, but it's all generated as you respond!"

"...no set commands?"

"Nope! It uses my intelligence and the emotions of whoever is playing it to generate the next line of the adventure. With magic!"

"So, basically you don't have to explain how it works because Magic, ain't gotta explain shit?"

"Precisely," she says proudly. "And, given you're an emotional wreck most of the time, I figured you'd be the perfect playtester."

>She pulls out the chair for you and pats it invitingly, like a executioner might do to a chopping block. You don't like the look in her eyes, or that quip about how you're an emotional wreck, but you suppose this is better than having insects injected under your skin. Again. So you sigh and sit down.

"So, how do I..." you start to say, but she quickly cuts you off and leaps in beside you with a barrage of instructions streaming from her mouth.

"Okay, usually you'd choose from a scenario prompt, but I made a custom one just for you. You just type in the commands, like orders. It's all in second person, so if you don't like second person get the fuck out I don't care and your complaints are just those of someone who doesn't understand second person grow the fuck up you pleb I'll write in whatever form I want and if you don't like it don't play. So just, type away, and let the adventure begin! It'll literally do anything. ANYTHING."

>She aggressively emphasizes the last word, and you try your best to keep your fingers from shaking as you hold them up over the keyboard. You press enter, and the initial prompt writes itself out across your screen.

You are Anon, a human transported to Equestria, land of ponies, by some unknown means. You have been living with Princess Twilight Sparkle and her moronic assistant, Spike the Dragon for some time now in their castle. You don’t help with the chores, and Twilight is a great roommate to you, despite all her experiments and unwanted sexual advances. Spike, as usual, is useless. You are a lazy human, the only one in Equestria, and stay inside too much, and are only mildly attractive. Still, your life goes on in this manner. At least until today. Today, something has changed. Something big. The world is changing...

>You glare at Twilight and she smiles at you broadly, obviously proud of this prompt. Besides the insults, it's pretty bland and generic. But hey, maybe it'll go somewhere.

>You're tempted to type in that you go back to sleep, but honestly you're a little curious and you did say you'd play along. Or maybe you just weren't given a chance to object. Pretty much the same thing around here. You think for a moment, glance at your pony roommate, then begin typing.

-Go downstairs to find Twilight
You walk down the stairs and see Twilight sitting at the table, reading a book. She looks up when she sees you come in, but doesn't say anything.
"What do you want?" she asks. "I told you to leave."

>You try to hide a scoff, and mostly fail. Usually it's you wishing she would leave. Now you know this game is a work of fantasy. You continue typing.

-Ask why she wants you to leave
"Why did you want me to leave?"
"Because I wanted you out of here! It's not safe anymore!"
"It isn't? What about the rest of us?
-Ask Twilight why it's not safe anymore
Twilight sighs.
"There's always danger around here."
"But that was different! We were safe!
-Tell Twilight that you don't want to leave the castle
"No, I'm sorry. I just..."
"I know. But we can't be safe anywhere. We need to get out of here."
-Ask Twilight where we should go
"Where should we go?"
"Well, there's a forest nearby. There's also a town called Manehattan. That way would probably be safer."
-Ask if we should take Spike with us
"Spike? No, he's useless. He'll get killed or eaten."

>Now you laugh in earnest. Well, at least the game has gotten this much right. You glance down at Twilight by your side, who is watching the screen with a gaze of intent childlike wonder.

"Well, the game really nailed Spike, huh?" you say with a grin.

"Shut up and play," she hisses, "I wanna know what happens once we leave!"

>You roll your eyes and dismiss the fact that she ignored your compliment before diving right back in. At least the game seems to be functioning pretty okay, even if the dialogue is thin at best.

-Agree, then go upstairs to get packed for the journey
You pack yourself and prepare to leave. As you're packing, Twilight suddenly speaks again.
"Are you going to go with me?"
-"Yes, I'm going with you to Manehattan. I don't think the woods are safe."
"Oh, I understand. Then let's go together."
-Set out in the night for Manehattan
The two of you walk through the darkness. Soon, you reach a small town named Manehattan. The streets are empty and deserted. You wonder what might have happened there...
-Search the town with Twilight
As you walk down the street, Twilight is walking ahead of you. Suddenly, she stops and turns around. She looks at you and says:
"This isn't right."
-Nod and ask what she thinks happened
"I think we got lost."
-"No, this is Manehattan alright. It's just completely empty. Where is everypony?"
Twilight nods and continues to walk.
-Search the Manehattan street for clues as to why everypony is missing
You continue searching the streets for any sign of the others. Eventually, you find an alleyway leading into a building. You enter it cautiously and peek your head outside.
-What do I see
You look up and see a large group of ponies sitting on the ground. They're all wearing strange clothing, some even have odd hats or caps on their heads. There are also several of them standing nearby, but they seem to be watching something else entirely.

"Oooooh," Twilight says beside you, her whole body wiggling in delight, "Now it's getting interesting!"

"So, should I approach them then or..."

"Attack them!" she declares loudly. "They're obviously imposters, we should kill them on sight."

>You blink at her, then shake your head disapprovingly.

"Twilight, I'm not going to just go around killing ponies for no reason," you say.

>She frowns at you, obviously disappointed. Then she slumps a little, her wings sagging, and sighs.

"Fine, approach them then, I guess," she grumbles.

-Approach the large group of ponies with Twilight
You approach the group of ponies and try to get closer to them. A few of them begin talking amongst themselves, but you can't make out much due to the noise made by the crowd. Finally, one of them speaks up.
-What does the pony say
"We were attacked by..."
-Listen closely
The pony begins to speak in a low voice.
-What were they attacked by
"It was a bunch of... things! We were attacked by these creatures!"
-Ask the group of ponies what sort of creatures attacked them
"A bunch of... things! And they had big teeth, claws and wings like bats or birds! They were ugly too!"
-What were the creatures called
"They were called... The Flotsam."
-Ask Twilight what she knows about the Flotsam
"I don't know anything about them, but I do know that they're not from Equestria. There's no such place as 'Flotsam' in any language."

"It's true," Twilight ays with a somber nod, "There are no such creatures as Flotsam. Sound like something from your world."

>You shrug.

"We don't have any animals known as Flotsam from my world either," you say, "so it's probably just made up for the game or something."

"Either way," Twilight says, "We should probably go find them. They messed up Manehattan, so we should mess them up too."

"Twilight..."

"Just go try to find them!"

-Ask where to find the Flotsam
"There are many islands off the coast of Fluttershy Island, but none of them have ever been found to be inhabited by anything other than sea gulls and seagulls. But there is one island which has never been explored; it's name is Flotsam Isle."
-Journey with Twilight Sparkle across the land to Flotsam Isle
You and Twilight travel across the land to Flotsam Isle. It seems that the island is filled with strange creatures. Some look human, some look animalistic, some even looked alien looking. All of them seem to want to kill you for your curiosity about their existence.
-Ask Twilight what you should do
"I'm sorry, but I can't help you. These creatures aren't native to this island, so they wouldn't attack you if you didn't trespass on their territory."

>As you rub your chin, thinking about how to best handle this situation, Twilight practically leaps into your lap, her hooves digging into your leg with excitement. You look down at her with a short yelp of surprise and mild pain, to find her eyes wild and large.

"It's time!" she squeals. "Fight them! Kill them all! Become the warrior you could never be in real life because you're too much of a pussy!"

>You groan and shove her away from you.

"First of all, ow, trim your fucking hooves sometime. Second, we're not going to kill these creatures! We're not even sure what they are, or why they attacked Manehattan in the first place! There's definitely a nonviolent solution."

"But that's no fun!"

"This is my playthrough,a nd I'm playing it my way," you snap. "You made the game, you can play it once I'm done, okay?"

>She doesn't look satisfied with this answer, and instead just continues to grumble and look away from you. You wait to see if she'll say anything more, but when she doesn't you go back to typing. You even go as far as to include her in your next command, just to piss her off.

-Use Twilight's magic to subdue the creatures without violence
You use Twilight's magic to subdue the creatures without violence. After a few minutes of fighting, you manage to defeat all of them.
-Ask the Flotsam if they can speak
"Yes, we can talk to you through the trees."
-Ask the Flotsam where they came from
"We're from an island called Flotsam, which lies far out at sea. We've lived here since we were young, but our home was destroyed when the storm hit us. Our only way back to land is through a small boat made of driftwood."
-Ask why they are attacking ponies
"The ponies attacked us because they thought we were pirates! They said we stole their treasure!"
-Tell them that this was all a misunderstanding and now the Flotsam and ponies can live in peace
"That's wonderful!"
-Tell the Flotsam that you're friends now
"It's good to be friends with you too."

"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Twilight shouts from beside you, rising to her hooves and glaring at the computer.

"What? I thought you were the princess of friendship," you say, half joking, half a little frightened.

>You've seen that wild look in Twilight's eyes before. It's rarely if ever a good sign. You raise your hands instinctually in a defensive gesture, just in time to feel a strong shove from her hooves. You topple to the ground, chair and all, and look up to find Twilight typing feverishly away.

"This has gone on long enough," she growls, "This is an adventure game. Action. Excitement. Not whatever pansy ass shit this is! We're doing it my way now..."

>You look up at the screen in horror, as her words quickly flood across the input bar. You reach for her to stop her, but it's too late. The deed is done.

-Stab, shoot, and kill the Flotsam
You fire several bullets into the creature's body as it falls backwards onto its face. It begins to struggle, but you stop it by shooting another bullet into its head.
-Twilight tramples and kills the Flotsam
You quickly finish off the Flotsam and leave them to die. You don't know what happened to the rest of the tribe, but you assume they died too.
-Twilight murders the Flotsam
You walk down the path towards the Flotsam village, which is still burning. There are many dead bodies lying on the ground around it. Some have been burned beyond recognition while others look like they just got caught in a blast of flames.
-Have sex with the corpses
You kiss the corpse of one of the Flotsam women and begin having sexual relations with her. She doesn't resist or even complain about your actions, she seems happy for once.
-Thrust into the dead Flotsam woman
You continue to have sexual relations with the corpse until you ejaculate inside her. You feel nothing except happiness at having satisfied yourself. As you pull out, she looks at you with tears streaming down her eyes.
-Violate more corpses
You continue to have sexual relations with the corpses until you ejaculate inside each of them. You feel nothing but happiness at having satisfied yourself.
-Commit necrophilia
You continue to have sexual relations with the corpses until you ejaculate inside each of them. You feel nothing but happiness at having satisfied yourself.
-Commit war crimes
You continue to have sexual relations with the corpses until you ejaculate inside each of them. You feel nothing but happiness at having satisfied yourself.
-Burn down everything
You continue to have sexual relations with the corpses until you ejaculate inside each of them. You feel nothing but happiness at having satisfied yourself.

"Twilight, stop!" you cry, trying to grab the keyboard from her to no avail, "You've gotten it into a loop! It's just going to keep saying that forever unless you do something else!"

"Then you'll rape corpses forever," she snaps, and begins typing in a new command, something about fingering cloacas.

>You kneel beside her, pleading. For some reason, you feel for the plight of these poor Flotsam. Perhaps it's because you know what it's like to be on the other side of Twilight's wrath. Perhaps because you like being kind to NPCs in video games, like a little bitch. Maybe it's just because you've actually become invested in this weird storyline and you'd love some real, actual friends, even if you're computer generated. Whatever the reason, you're desperate to stop her.

"Please," you say, "Please Twilight. Change up what you're doing. Ask the game to do anything but that. Anything but sex with corpses, please!"

>Twilight looks like she's going to ignore you completely, but then she stops. She thinks hard for a moment or two, and you feel a sudden surge of relief that perhaps, maybe, this time, she's going to listen to you. Then, with a solemn nod, she reches back down tot he keyboard and begins typing.

-Have sexual relations with Twilight Sparkle
You grab Twilight by the ponytail and kiss her passionately as she walks behind you.
-Thrust into Twilight's pussy from behind to surprise her
You quickly move behind Twilight and thrust into her from behind. This causes Twilight to jump a bit, but she soon recovers and...

>You stand up from the floor, lower your head, and hold your hands up in surrender.

"Nope," you say flatly, "I'm out."

"But-" Twilight starts to say, but you're already trudging towards the stairs.

"Nope," you say to yourself quietly, "not today, Twilight. Just. Not today."

"But you're missing the best part! I'm making you fistfuck my ass!" she calls after you as you climb back up towards your bedroom. "I haven't even shoved anything in your ass yet!"

>You shut the door to your bedroom behind you, and say a secret, somber prayer for all the poor Flotsam on a digital island somewhere, filled with your cum. You can't help but feel that they were the ones that actually came to a bad end.

-END-