rant

I had a very strange sleep session today. I was in the bed for ~10 hours but I woke up ~10 times, mostly revisiting the same dream that always looked different. In a nutshell, it was like playing Counter-Strike (wake up when I die, re-enter when a new round starts and I often died because I was a noob in this dream world game) but instead of guns/ violence, I guess most deaths were natural-like and everything just played very fast (and some kind of <100% resurrection was possible, at least for some gamers).
I think it was my first round when a kind young woman (who was probably a much "older player" than me) told me her understanding of "the meaning of life" (of that world, I guess, and I don't think she was "The God" in there but definitely not an NPC or a noob player, so..., but I digress...). Then some kind of "purge" began (yet again, I guess). I tried to go back hard to learn more but I rarely survived for long enough to talk to anyone again (save for a few, not so kind words).
As it often is with dreams (no matter how vivid and memorable), I can't fully remember what she said but I think it implied something remotely akin to "We are the true people, we die here and then we try again". But I guess it wasn't about the game "cycles" as I experienced it but rather ancient organic dreamers who try to build societies every which ways and all around the world that all eventually fail and collapse (in a "How did they build the pyramids?" kind of sense and Earth scale...). She kept smiling kindly when I realized I am about to die there. Some man behind her were not smiling at all, if I recall. I think I was murdered by someone's bare hand or blunt weapon in one "round" after trying to hide inside a hole I "dig" for myself for that purpose, hoping not to "disconnect" so soon yet again (he said some words - I think - and wasn't angry at me, personally, yet I got ditched somehow...). I couldn't even figure out if I was killed or "kicked from the game server" by an admin/assassin (simply because I wasn't supposed to be there and not because there was a general war going on and I was on "the wrong side" of some players/NPCs) and how to survive longer (the others who spoke to me didn't seem to fight back much, I think I tried once or twice with makeshift weapons [like buying an AK47 in Counter-Strike: just "think hard enough" and it appears in your hands...] but just died faster. :D). But I think most of the times, something like "The Sorrow" (from Tides of Numenera) got me (by AOE-like attacks), not simple players/NPCs, or I just died because I simply got too old for a human during a few ones before achieving anything meaningful (who knows...?).